The Michael Sam Documentary on OWN

By Ockydub | Posted Dec 17 2014 | 71 Comments  

MikesamOWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) will air the exclusive Michael Sam documentary on Saturday, December 27, at 9 p.m. ET/PT. The 90-minute documentary follows the life of Michael Sam, who made history when he became the first openly gay football player drafted into the NFL. After the documentary, at 10:30 p.m. ET/PT, Oprah will sit down with Michael in a special episode of Oprah Prime for an exclusive television interview, the first since he was cut from the NFL.

Personally I’m very interested in seeing this documentary and the sit down interview with Oprah. I especially would like to hear his feedback concerning the kiss. As stated in the promo teaser, looking back on it was the cake in the face and subsequent selfies with said cake-face too much? I also really would like her to ask him if he received any negative feedback from the black gay community. In my opinion I do feel that a large percentage of black gay men are not feeling Mike Sam just as with Jason Collins. Most of these men will tell you (mainly those who are more sports literate) that neither Sam nor Collins are good athletes. You know, because most of us are really good at playing major league sports. Becoming an NBA player or being drafted into the NFL is something most African Americans do after a couple years in college…its the norm for us black men. Of course I’m being sarcastic. Truth be told many of the non-supporters of Sam and Collins aint digging them simply because they’re in interracial relationships. I get it but I do feel that even at their same skill level, if these same black men had black partners, the reception from many black gays would have been a lot more welcoming.

Michael-Sam-Oprah-Winfrey

What do you think? What are your thoughts about the upcoming documentary? Is there anything you hope to hear from Sam in the interview? Do you think that if either of these men were not in interracial relationships, many in the black gay community would have been more excepting of them?

 

*Thank You Comments Have Been Closed*

About the Author
Ockydub

Octavius is a founder and editor of Cypher Avenue. He's here to help speak for us and show the world that masculine gay / bisexual men of color are not a part of the stereotypical gay normal that is seen and fed to the masses. No...we are a distinct breed, filled with character and pride. Cypher Avenue is here to show the world how we are different.

   
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71 Comments Feel Free To Join The Cypher.

  1. ruelon
    Ruelon | December 17th, 2014
    +1

    I’ll be watching. I’ve been fascinated with him as a sports fan, and as a gay man of color. I do think people (black gay men) would have been more accepting if they were not in interracial relationships. I will never understand why that bothers people.

    • ControlledXaos | December 18th, 2014
      +2

      Black Women: “He fine and built! Why he gotta be gay tho?”
      Black Gay Men: “He fine, built, gay, and masculine! And he packin’ and got booty! Why he gotta be with that white boy tho?”

      All of them wanting something they can’t/couldn’t have anyyway.

      I don’t care that he’s with a white dude because, while I do think he’s a cute guy, he’s too young (and that’s before I even know anything about his personality) and there’s nothing that would cause my and his paths to meet anyway, so why get mad over it? He’s no different than some random dude I see at the grocery store.

      • alton
        NYCforEVER | December 23rd, 2014
        +1

        People just need something to be angry about, is what it boils down to. Like @Ocky has mentioned many times, M. Sam and his BF and the other (BLK&WHT) gay interracial couples in the media are not the majority of either ethnic group’s relationship couplings. I don’t give a flying fuck what two dudes I will NEVER, EVER run into in my life, or two dudes I don’t know but maybe see sporadically or regularly, or even two guys I know personally are doing with THEIR lives. Interracial dating is not going anywhere. Idolization of and lust after a particular ethnicity, for WHATEVER reason, is not going anywhere. The “I don’t normally mess with {{insert ethnicity here}} but…” is not going anywhere. People just need to fall back and do them. If seeing a random couple strikes a chord of anger within your soul, then a sad person you really are inside. I know this personally, I used to be that person long ago.

        • ControlledXaos | December 23rd, 2014
          0

          “I don’t normally mess with {{insert ethnicity here}} but…”

          24.gif

          See…

        • Dre G | December 23rd, 2014
          0

          I love when @alton goes in on a topic.

    • BlackUrbanite | December 18th, 2014
      -2

      Interracial relationships are normally bothersome to me because many times it’s fueled by the white man’s desired to have the black man submissive to his needs yet again. It’s rarely heavily about the black man needs nor for humane reasons, but too many black men are too out of touch and delusional to realize it. In my city it’s not uncommon to see an attractive black man coupled up with a well-off homely white man or some manipulating subtle racist hypocritical creep.

      If I had a dollar for every white gay man who brags about the Big Black Cock pleasing him and how he relishes in his “as advertised” hyper-black masculinity …. I would be on the Forbes list. Rarely do I hear gay white men humanize the black men they lust after, it’s usually reasons demoralizing and offensive to us multi-faced, diverse black human beings. And it’s always white bottoms doing this … they seek out black men the most. I have less of a problem with interracial lesbian couples that I see, that unique dynamic doesn’t exist there.

      These psychotic mandingo loving bottom crackers are moving to ATL in droves. The white top/bottom ratio there is so out of wack it’s ridiculous …. no other major city is that off balance. 50 white bottoms to every 1 white top it seems like.

      • RolandG
        Rolandgarros28 | December 18th, 2014
        0

        You say “Rarely do i hear gay white men humanize the black men they lust after.”

        Typically, when a person is lusting after someone, they aren’t trying to humanize them if you know what i mean. What’s your point? Lust is Lust. When i lust after a black man, i’m thinking about how multi-faceted he is either. You’re confusing love and lust. We all lust and demoralize to some extent. I see the whole person when i’m in love and dating not when i’m lusting. There’s no difference there with white men.

        Also, keep in mind that at least some white men see the sexiness in black men even if it’s in the form of lust. Would you feel better if all white men thought we were disgusting animals?

        • BlackUrbanite | December 18th, 2014
          -3

          Lust and Love.

          I can’t remember the last time I heard a white gay man talk about his black lover/boyfriend/husband without bringing up some lame ass stereotypical bullshit or using him to look more edgy/cool. And I’m around and know many white gay men …. they everywhere in Dallas.

          And I couldn’t care less what white men thought of black men. First and foremost, I’m not attracted to white men. And secondly, I have no desire to be validated by them. And it’s only white bottoms heavily checking for us, most white tops normally prefer other whites or latinos.

          Also so I’m clear, I don’t have a problem with white men genuinely being attracted to black men and vice versa …. it’s the offensive and fucked up mentality that goes with many of those relationships I don’t appreciate. I’ve heard gay black men say things like I don’t black men b/c they ain’t shit and are whores … when really he ain’t shit and the biggest whores I know personally are white men … like what the hell?! And again, you have the other side where the white man sees his black lover as some sex slave he purchased with his percieved “white privilege”, wealth, or contrasting European aesthetic. Black-White gay couples are usually are on some bullshit, I have yet to come across a genuinely NON-DYSFUNCTIONAL one.

          Team Black Love is Beautiful and Special.

          • RolandG
            Rolandgarros28 | December 18th, 2014
            -4

            How can you say you don’t care what white men think of black men when you’ve written two or three responses about how white men view black men? You may not be attracted to white men but you certainly harbor ill-will towards these white men who admire/lust after black men.

            I would say that most of what you wrote is correct. There is a lot of that mandingo complex going around, however, that doesn’t explain YOUR anger towards a relationship that’s not your own. It’s as if it’s a personal affront towards you. My belief is that there will always be fucked up relationships for whatever reason but there may be a little racism within you to take it so personally. You disagree?

            Also, as a black man who has dated more than one man outside my race, I’ve never allowed myself to be used and abused and I’ve never saw it as a status symbol to date a white man. Hell, I’m a status symbol on my own. Every man who dates outside of his race doesn’t do so with malicious intent. You should really broaden your circle if you’ve never seen a healthy interracial relationship.

            • BlackUrbanite | December 19th, 2014
              +1

              I see you’re a stickler for detail, it’s fine.

              I don’t care what white men think about black men IN REGARDS TO IF THEY THINK WE ARE ATTRACTIVE OR NOT (per your question remember). Besides, I know I’m attractive … I don’t need Connor to tell me that.

              I’m brought into their relationship each time some lame ass white gay guy proudly perpetuates offense and hurtful stereotypes about black men in my presence that makes me uncomfortable and uneasy. I’m brought into their relationship each time I politely listen to some white-washed tired ass brutha go on this self-loathing ramble on why he doesn’t date black men which is equally offensive and uncomfortable. Get my drift? ….

              Yes there are many kinds of fucked up gay relationships but the interracial ones I spoke about personally affect me the most for the reasons stated above so my “activism” is foremost against them.

              Sir, my circle is broad enough (in fact I plan to make it smaller in 2015). And it’s great you stated you have been able to genuinely and respectfully connect with men outside our race, I know black gay men are not monolithic … I’m no idiot. But your experiences doesn’t overshadow nor excuse what I and many other socially aware gay men commonly witness “everyday” in this lifestyle. I know of white gay men who agree with me.

      • straight_up | December 19th, 2014
        +1

        Agreed! Glad to see another brother with some sense on here.

  2. hannibal
    Hannibal | December 17th, 2014
    -5

    I think I’m rolling my eyes. Why is he still being talked about? He never played in an NFL game. And I don’t think most people had a problem per se with Jason Collins because he wasn’t as obnoxious

    • ControlledXaos | December 18th, 2014
      +2

      What about him is obnoxious to you?

      • hannibal
        Hannibal | December 18th, 2014
        -5

        Everything, especially the fact that he kept saying he didn’t want his gayness to overshadadow his “talent” but he never missed an opportunity to exploit being gay.

        • ControlledXaos | December 18th, 2014
          0

          I get that. I do think he should have talked with some one in media relations before he made his decision. I actually think he should have talked to several and not just ones in Missouri, if that was the case.

          I actually agree with Gary with the Tea who said that he thinks that he was ‘forced’ to recognize his relationship publicly because he’s dating a white dude where had it been someone non-white, that partner would have been fine with him chilling for a moment.

          So, I’m not really sure if it really is playing The Gay Card all the time (like seriously, how many interviews has he actually done?) or if it’s that his homosexuality was sensationalized across the board and the media, including social media, is just hyper focused on it.

          • RolandG
            Rolandgarros28 | December 18th, 2014
            -5

            He did talk with someone in media relations…the white guys from Outsports. Perhaps they did him no favors with their advice. I’m not even sure black gays have an issue with the interracial dating as much as the image of him “acting white.” And people know what i mean by that. Would we(black gays) be nearly upset if Michael Sam was Pacman Jones dating a white dude? I honestly don’t think so. I’ll watch only because i love Oprah. LOL Nah, I’ll watch because i’m hoping he will shed new light on his experience. I’ve heard about his upbringing 200 times so i’m not interested in that. Ocky’s curiosities are mine as well.

  3. TruthTurner | December 17th, 2014
    -5

    I don’t Sam being in an interracial relationships has anything to do with why the some of the black gays are not really feeling him, its more to do with he seem to be everywhere for doing so garbed in the NFL Combine he was only drafted because he is gay. He’s alright, but he’s not real (jayz voice)

  4. Keith | December 17th, 2014
    0

    I’m interested in what Sam has to say. And I tend to agree with @Ruelon on the interracial thing….

  5. Awkward Black Boy | December 17th, 2014
    +1

    I’ll be watching. I want to hear what his next plans are professionally since he’s been cut. Of course, I believe that black people would’ve been more receptive had they been a part of that whole “Black Love” movement, but I also think in general black people aren’t into the idea of the whole world knowing that they are homosexual so them “coming out” didn’t sit well with a lot of people.

  6. SB3
    African King | December 17th, 2014
    +1

    I will watch this whenever I can. I cannot wait.

  7. BlackguyExecutive | December 18th, 2014
    +1

    I like the others who commented will be tuning into the interview. I am not a huge sports fan but I have followed the Michael Sam evolution with intrigue. I personally don’t know why black gay men are critiquing him for his interracial relationship and I don’t think that he would have received any more support if he was in a relationship with a black man. The naysaying gay black men would inevitably find another critique of him…what baffles me is that Sam, 2013 SEC Defensive Player of the year has the skills to play in the NFL. The reason and rationale for him not playing for a team in the NFL is most definitely rooted in homophobia coupled with media hysteria. It seems that drafting and playing a gay player would be the least of the NFL’s worries at this point given the state of the organization today. I hope he gets a chance to play football and show us truly if he has what it takes but that may not happen, even though there are teams out there who could use some defensive players (I am looking at you Tampa Bay).

  8. lyriq88
    Lyriq | December 18th, 2014
    +4

    As a black man currently going through the “coming out” struggle, I admire Michael Sam. So that alone will get my view. I’ve enjoyed watching his story unfold and wish nothing but the best for him. I will be tuning in.

  9. SB3000 | December 18th, 2014
    +2

    I’ll check it out. I DO feel like the whole media sensationalism didnt help his NFL career AT ALL. The cake n stuff was all too much. Wasn’t even abt being gay, it just made him look ‘soft’ (more media food) and the NFL is not the place for a lil tenderness..ijs. I do think black gay men would be much more supportive if he, and Collins, were dating black men. Just one of those things..

  10. Rod Turpin
    Rod! | December 18th, 2014
    +5

    I’ll definitely have to take a look at this. I think a lot of people don’t realize that simply having an openly gay player make it to the NFL is really meaningful to so many young gay athletes out there. Hell, when I was in high school I wouldn’t have thought that a fellow gay male could ever make it pro. Even if his tenure was very short lived, him reaching there at all shows a lot of young gay men that if they can be gay and play football too.

    • SB3000 | December 19th, 2014
      +3

      Exactly! No matter what prejudices anyone has, they can’t deny that it took balls for him to do what he did. I genuinely hope the future has a few good things in store for this dude.

  11. straight_up | December 18th, 2014
    -6

    When will this dude go off and live happily ever after with his white ‘self-esteem builder’ already?

    I definitely will not be watching this fool chop it up with Oprah while his white piece chimes in every few minutes giving his opinion, interpreting and speaking for Sam as if he is a dumb sack of potatoes. NO thanks.

    It’s a good thing black gays didn’t support this loser, at least we were on the right track with this one. Maybe there is hope for us after all.

    • ControlledXaos | December 18th, 2014
      +7

      Wayment, mane!

      Why are you so butt hurt over this man? Now he’s actually given the opportunity to speak and you’ve formed a judgement already before the interview has even aired?

      Shit, man, give the dude a chance to speak for himself FFS.

      • straight_up | December 18th, 2014
        -5

        I’m not butt hurt, I just have NO love in my heart for Sam or other black men of his kind. None.

        If Sam wants to be on that side, then that’s where he should get his support from cuz he surely won’t be getting any from me.

        Again, I’m glad to see black gay men on the right side on this one.

        • Ocky Williams | December 18th, 2014
          +5

          LOL what is “his kind?”…having the audacity to be in love with a white guy?

          We all have access to the same media. Outside of the cake in the face foolishness and being with a non-black, what has he done to personally offend you so much?

          • straight_up | December 19th, 2014
            -4

            That’s precisely what I meant by “his kind” @Ocky… black gay and straight men who perpetually date outside their race, ESPECIALLY with whites. You should know by now that I’m not afraid.

            Sam has not offended me, I actually feel sorry for the brotha. I really do. I feel sorry for him because his ice cold water in the face day of awakening is coming….

            • Ocky Williams | December 19th, 2014
              +4

              Are you listening to yourself or has disgust clouded your judgments?

              PLEASE share with everyone how do you know Mike Sam perpetually dates outside of his race? Name another person/s that you are aware of whom he has dated and or sleep with that is white?

              It’s clear you detest interracial dating especially black & white coupling but your thoughts, opinions or assumption don’t equal gospel or universal law. If it wasn’t for interracial coupling regardless of forced or otherwise, many men of color would not exist.

              In no way am I attempting to change your angst on this particular subject because as with most blacks who think in this vein, there isn’t a chance for change because your mind is made up even though you don’t know everyone’s life experiences nor what’s in their hearts.

              • straight_up | December 19th, 2014
                -3

                @Ocky: The only thing you are right about is that I don’t know Sam personally, but I don’t recall ever saying that I did. Don’t try to act as if I’m coming from left field because I can clearly see what dating trajectory this dude is on and is calling it out. Once this white piece dumps him, he’ll more than likely find another ‘4 on a 10 point scale’ bottom barrel white dude to shack up with, and he’ll be in ignorant bliss until that ‘water-in-the-face’ moment I spoke of previously.

                I am, however, willing to give this guy a chance because he is still very young and has not truly experienced the world as a black man yet, having lived a someone insulated existence being a star high school/college/almost pro athlete.

                To your other points: don’t even try it. Not sure where you’re going with that “if it wasn’t for interracial coupling…” bit, but I’m going to stay on topic and not deconstruct that statement today.

                I know you aren’t trying to change my mind, and that’s for the best. You and a lot of your readers embrace and endorse interracial coupling, and that’s fine too. But don’t attempt to invalidate the opinions of those of us that don’t, because ours are equally valid, if not more.

        • alton
          NYCforEVER | December 23rd, 2014
          +4

          I’m sure he’s just devastated that you’re not supporting him, my dude.

  12. Inda Men | December 18th, 2014
    0

    I don’t get why there’s so many guys disgusted by him and his relationship. I think it’s something like the forbiden apple that you can’t have so you try to destroy it instead. Or maybe it’s that I really like him, he so fine!!

  13. RolandG
    Rolandgarros28 | December 19th, 2014
    +1

    Connor? LOL Code for white. I get it.

    But i don’t get your drift honestly. I’ll never understand your thinking on this and that’s ok. I chose to not despise an entire group simply because some of them are jerks. These tired ass bruthas you speak of are doing the same thing as you if you think about it. They’re speaking ill of all black men based on their own pitiful experiences. Prejudging, if you will, every black man and branding them with the scarlet letter. That doesn’t make you feel good but you do it to a man, Michael Sam, whom you’ve never met. You don’t think that’s a bit hypocritical? You like black men. Cool. You chose to date black men for whatever reason. Cool. As a man, you get to make those choices, yet you are trying to play matchmaker for every other gay man by telling them who they should date; shaming those who select mates that don’t fit your criteria for them. I’m sure you mean well but you will always drive yourself crazy doing this. Let grown men experience life for themselves.

    • RolandG
      Rolandgarros28 | December 19th, 2014
      0

      @oneofakind, this is for you. LOL

      • BlackUrbanite | December 19th, 2014
        -4

        Unfortunately you’re far left with grasping my sentiments so I have to make this my last post on this thread to avoid further confusing.

        1) I don’t despise all interracial relationships, it’s certain ones only. I made that clear, I mean did or did I not say I thought it was great you had good experiences dating outside our race?
        2) Those tired ass bruthas I spoke of are not doing what I’m doing. They write off a whole race of men based on fallacious claims. The things I’m stating are based in truth … you even said yourself it was true.
        3) There’s no proof that anything I wrote would clearly suggest I like to play “matchmaker” because I don’t.
        4) I know very little about Michael Sam and his lover therefore I don’t have much to say about their relationship dynamic nor did I ever say anything about them.
        5) My statements are steeped in personal experiences and people I know. And I shame where shaming is warranted and necessary … it’s responsible shaming (so I’m in the clear). Words are powerful and I’m mindful of that.

        • ControlledXaos | December 19th, 2014
          +4

          This one said “responsible shaming”.
          I’m dying laughing at this.

          • RolandG
            Rolandgarros28 | December 19th, 2014
            +2

            Exactly. No matter how much you try and reason with some of these dudes, victimhood will always overpower reason. He’s still not explained his personal anger and disgust and he can’t because it would entail self-diagnosing his own issues. No one’s relationship should have you on a black gay website spewing vitriol. For what I keep asking. For what?

            • Ocky Williams | December 19th, 2014
              0

              By no means to defend him or put words in his mouth but I get that he is saying because of his own experiences with whites & those who interracial couple, there is some malice and racism involved with those that he is aware of. So I don’t necessarily think or feel he is saying ALL but he used the term “normally” in his originally statement. So I understand.

  14. R.E.W II | December 19th, 2014
    +10

    I’m happy that Michael Sam is happy. I do hope things turn out better for him in the future. The fact that he got drafted as a BLACK gay man is an accomplishment. Just because he’s not shacked up with a black dude does not mean black folk need to throw shade at him. You are doing the very same thing these anti-gay people are doing to us. Trying to give us hell just because we don’t think, do, or love the same way you do. The point of having these rights is to love who we want to love. Not worry about skin color or gender. So for you haters that have a problem with something that you can’t control and that has no affect on your life, focus on making sure you get your next meal and stop worrying about other people’s lives. PLEASE!!!!!!!

  15. Ocky Williams | December 19th, 2014
    +5

    Some people actually see the forest for the trees…

    From @controlledxaos on the Activity Stream

    People, black gay men, don’t see RuPaul as “sexy” or desirable. No one cared about Magic Johnson’s son either. If Earvin Johnson III or RuPaul were masculine, I think there would have been more backlash. IIRC, I think with EJ, people were saying “Oh he’s only with him because he’s rich.” because of course, that’s the only reason why an overweight fem dude would be with a white boy. Had EJ been thin and masculine, then they would have just said “Oh it’s because of BBC and he’s rich.” You just can’t please people who are determined to be upset.

    When Sam came out, people were like “Oh damn!” because he wasn’t what the image of ‘gay black man’ people see on TV all the time. I don’t know any black man who honestly for that brief window of time after he came out and before his partner’s identity was released, who wasn’t like “Awesome!” And I think then, black gay men were starting to or wanting to make him the prime candidate for the Face of Masculine Black Gay Men in America.

    Most of them were disappointed all because he’s dating someone many described as “some white, twink queen” so they then put him in the Self Hating House Negro category from which I guess he will never be able to redeem himself if you let some people tell it.

    • Ocky Williams | December 19th, 2014
      +3

      ALL OF THIS! THANK YOU!

      Black gays were all excited when Mike Sam came out and then just like women, gay dudes wanted to know “who was he dating.” As soon as it came out, these same black dudes who were so excited a week ago were now so disappointed and the disappointed turned to wrath and anger.

      • ControlledXaos | December 19th, 2014
        +2

        。◕‿◕。

        It’s straight up vitriol now. And the thing is, Mike is a young dude. He’s got his whole life ahead of him. We don’t know who that man dated before now. He may have a slew of black guys that he dated or just hooked up with for all we know.

        I wish nothing but the best for him with his relationship but having been that age before, I know that it’s highly likely that it won’t work out. If they can stay together 5+ years or so and it works out for them then we should be happy for them and use any anger towards working on OUR OWN relationships.

        • hannibal
          Hannibal | December 19th, 2014
          +1

          *rolls eyes*

  16. Victor Von-Doom | December 19th, 2014
    -2

    First off, Michael Sam was All American and the SEC Defensive Player of the year, even though the SEC isn’t a #1 division with those stats it should have gotten him placed at least in the 2nd or 3rd draft pick but dude was drafted in the 7th round, not a good look. It should have been a wake up call to him that moving forward all his moves should have been well thought out and strategic, so all that crazy kissing definitely jeopardized his chances on surviving and thriving in the NFL. The powers that be, further dug into my man by leaking comments to the media that he didn’t do well at the Combine tryouts, and at the Ram’s training camp. They were slowly setting dude up to fail but I guess he couldn’t see that.

    Now regarding his partner, not only did the camera capture him embracing and showing love to this average white man but it showed that everyone cheering for him in that room was ALSO white. He didn’t have one black person in that room, I was just like damn! You would have thought this man grew up in some privileged family, what he had no black family members or black friends to share in this moment?? Now, we know most straight black men would have had their family and boy/s they grew up with him but not Michael Sam. So, for me I couldn’t support that bullshit!! It was blatant self denial. or some “we are the world” ish! I just couldn’t relate to dude, sorry!

    • Ocky Williams | December 19th, 2014
      +4

      For your second paragraph I was thinking the same thing UNTIL I found out why…the WHY was the problems in his black family.

      So my question for you is; I can understand when this was a new story but why months later you don’t know why there were only white people there? I found out via the internet and media.

      So if you don’t know the story how can you state it was self denial? The internet is free for everybody.

      • Victor Von-Doom | December 23rd, 2014
        -1

        Well, what I understand from the stories on the web is that his father was the one with the problem. I know he had siblings who were incarcerated at one time but it never stated they had issues with him or his lifestyle, and besides are you saying this man grew up with NO black friends or even extended family that cared or embraced him. I found that hard to believe, I grew up in the projects and I know some flamboyant gays in my hood who had str8 guys who were madd cool with them, and still are. To me, it just seemed like he abandoned his community once he became gay, like he couldn’t have both. It’s like a disconnect.

        • Ocky Williams | December 23rd, 2014
          +1

          I hear who but to answer the question yes. I personally have no childhood friends. It is possible. People gravitate toward what makes them feel comfortable. If the black church, family, community made him feel uncomfortable/rejected why would/should he embrace them? I’m not saying this is the case but just saying what if?

          • ControlledXaos | December 23rd, 2014
            +2

            Yes! I think as people grow, age, mature, and see other parts of the country/world and experience life, childhood friends and stuff may not really be who you are.

            I see people posting stuff on Facebook all the time about my high school classmates and how some of them have been friends for over 30 years and I’m just like…”no.”

            So I can see for people who feel like they don’t fit in, as I did, with their childhood classmates, once they are around people who they actually do connect with spend their time with them.

            I don’t think we can be mad at this man for hanging around the people who not only accepted him, but made him the most comfortable and let him be who he is.

    • Ocky Williams | December 23rd, 2014
      +4

      Sorry but to me this doesn’t sound like he has had a very strong black family or black support system…IMO

      Sam is the seventh of eight children born to JoAnn (Turner) and Michael Alan Sam, Sr. His parents separated when he was young. As a child, Sam watched one of his older brothers die from a gunshot wound. Another older brother has been missing since 1998, and his other two brothers are both imprisoned. A sister who was born before him died in infancy. At one point in his childhood, Sam lived in his mother’s car. He was once accidentally maced by police who were arresting one of his brothers.

      Sam argued with his mother, one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, over playing football, as she did not agree with those pursuits. Sam often stayed with friends while in high school; the parents of a classmate gave him a bedroom in their house and had him complete household chores. Sam is the first member of his family to attend college.

      • R.E.W II | December 23rd, 2014
        +3

        Wow! Now I have a lot more respect for him. I knew that he wasn’t dealing with his family anymore but I didn’t know he went through all of that.

        See… For some reason most black people want to stay focused on the STUPIDEST!!!!! SHIT!!!! and not look at what a person has been through and then want to point fingers and say, “We don’t support gay dudes like him, I mean I’m cool with gay dudes, just not ones like him.””He don’t support black people.” “He has a white boyfriend so he must hate black people or he white wash.”

        Hell I would stop supporting my own kind too if we keep up this kind of mess.

        From what Ocky just posted we should give him some respect. He is the only sibling in his family to go to COLLEGE. And he’s BLACK. And he’s GAY. Even after the rough patches in his life, he somehow found a way to push through and actually do something with his life. He didn’t let all the negative stuff in his life get to him. He decided he was going to live his life and continue to do what he loved. And God blessed him for that. And you Black folks really want to throw shade at him because he’s dating a white man?…Lord give me the strength. SMH

  17. Jase | December 20th, 2014
    +2

    I for one UNDERSTAND why he is with a white man and why MOST other black successful gay black men date outside the race. We have too many damn issues. We are stuck in the closet, ashamed, in denial and extremely judgmental of each other and have the audacity to get mad when we are not chosen to be with someone who is not afraid to live their truth? A majority of black gay men are damaged point blank wounded by our pasts and experiences. I’ve spent 20 years looking for a black man. I’ve been dedicated and hopeful and while I’ve had a few short term situations, I’ve concluded it’s just no longer worth it. I’m changing my scope from Black men only to everything BUT white elitist queens and black men are last on the list. When I look at what the black queen who looks like a damn bird did to Kerry Rhodes I was disgusted. That thing destroyed his career. In addition that half drag beast that humiliated Mister Cee for picking it up off the stroll, that man was humiliated and cried on the air. Black gay men are out to destroy each other. Who wants that? You NEVER see white or any other race of gay men do that to each other in the press or social networks. I’m done. If Michael Sam is happy with his white boy I’m all for it. I don’t blame him. Had he been with a black man the first time they fell out the black man would have tried to humiliate and destroy him. If you are not out to the world don’t have an opinion about someone who is.

    • straight_up | December 20th, 2014
      -4

      Yet another broken black man who feels that white men are innately superior. Glad to see that Cypher Avenue is providing a loving, nurturing environment for you all to feel comfortable ‘coming out.’

      One question tho: If given what you said is true about black men, tell us why those “everything BUT” men you covet should date YOU and your “too many damn issues”, again?

      I’ll wait……

    • BlackUrbanite | December 20th, 2014
      +2

      Ted Haggard (a married well-known white pastor in Colorado) was outed by a white gay prostitute.

      Idaho Senator Larry Craig and Florida Governor Charlie Crist are both married white men outed by gay white men. (watch Netflix’s documentary Outrage)

      Clay Aiken outed by gay white men.

      The list goes on, outing is not exclusive to the black gay community. White gays are just as fucked up and vindictive so get out of here with this white men are better bitter bullshit. There’s just as many single and looking older white gay men as there are black …. I know them personally. One of my long-time associates is a 40-something white gay man who has the same complaints about white gay men that you do about black gay men. Fucked up gays come in all colors, income brackets, educational backgrounds, cities, etc. But good ones exist, I know of several …

      • straight_up | December 20th, 2014
        +1

        Thank you for providing detail @blackurbanite. Black men like @Jase are just looking for any excuse to justify their internalized inferiority. It really is sad.

        Contrary to popular frustrated opinion, non-black men are not exactly falling over their collective feet trying to SERIOUSLY date black men (read: out of the bedroom, during daylight hours). So I don’t know where this fantasy originated in the black gay community.

        I’m still waiting on him to share with us why any non-black man (or black man for that matter) should date his black azz.

        This ought to be good.

        • BlackUrbanite | December 20th, 2014
          -1

          LOL! I feel ya.

    • achris
      achris | December 23rd, 2014
      +1

      No offense man but (and this is me assuming you are black)…did you ever think that you fit into the black male description you just put on the rest of us? Not taking away from your experiences, just noting that there is one common denominator when you put them together…

  18. Ocky Williams | December 20th, 2014
    +5

    Seriously people? This is what we gonna do? How fucked up crackers are who lust after Mandingos? How no good black men drive other black men into the arms of whites? How men who are open to other races and nationalities for love are in denial and full of self-hate? If a lover or sex partner of an individual for that moment doesn’t meet your personal standards or satisfaction therefore something MUST BE wrong with whatever said individual?

    If you can’t see this is broken, Mike Sam and interracial coupling is the least of your problems. The world may be a dangerous place but humanity is not your enemy.

  19. BlackguyExecutive | December 20th, 2014
    0

    I am glad to see that CA is still producing some impassioned mostly thoughtful, sometime not so much interaction between men of different opinions and worldviews.

    I think like others who have commented in this thread that a fundamental problem in the black gay community is the lack of courage and circumstance that coming out affords a person. For me personally, the day that I decided that I would no longer feel ashamed of my sexual orientation and come out to my family and friends and eventually my coworkers (I was a Coast Guard Officer at the time I came out) I felt a freedom and relief that was honestly life altering. Mike Sam is choosing to live openly and I think he will be better off for that regardless who he dates or is in a relationship with.

    Some of the sentiments in this post proves to me that there is still a whole lot of healing that needs to occur in our community….it seems as if some of the men on this thread have never been loved for the sake of being loved.

  20. hannibal
    Hannibal | December 23rd, 2014
    -3

    So let me ask this. Why is it ok for this site to uplift MIchael Sam’s (for reasons I can’t figure out) but it’s not ok for those that don’t go up for him to voice it?

    • ControlledXaos | December 23rd, 2014
      +1

      I don’t think it’s so much as uplifting as is it is just talking about a figure in the black gay community who created a lot of buzz this year. He’s a headline for now and it’s at the point where this is going to sson run it’s course or could tip into whatever is the next thing for him. He’s got people talking about him and if he spins it right, he could have a successful career in other areas that may not include football, if that’s what he wants. Or he could just fall off into obscurity and lay low. Don Ameichie or Esera Tualolo anyone?

      As long as it’s discussion, I don’t see why there would be a problem with voicing a dislike for Michael Sam.

      I mean, I get that there’s people who don’t like him here and all and that’s cool. He’s definitely polarized guys here. Maybe people are just sick of hearing his name. I know straight people on Facebook are and he’s not even talked about as much as someone like Iggy Azeala is.

      What I don’t understand is why there are people just saying “Oh he sucks” and that’s the beginning and end of what they have to say. Explain why he sucks. Give some support to this statement so that people can think and consider that statement.

      If it’s “Well, heen do shit in the NFL” and that’s why you don’t like him then, I don’t quite understand why someone’s performance makes them a bad person personality-wise.

      I haven’t seen that many interviews of him to form an opinion myself so I could very well be missing something here so if someone has links, I’d appreciate it so that I could give them a watch/listen.

    • Ocky Williams | December 23rd, 2014
      +2

      If you are blinded by your disgust for interracial dating and you (YOU) specifically dislike him for this reason, then there isn’t a conversation to be had.

      Let it go… Like Seriously.

      • hannibal
        Hannibal | December 23rd, 2014
        0

        Let it go? Its hard to let it go when hes consistently brought up. And i never said i dont like him. I dont know him. Im over him.and yes im not a fan of interracial dating. I wasnt aware that that alone made me bitter or mad. I will however point out that its not fair that its ok to praise him here, but if anyone criricizes him…they are haters. It stifles honest conversation

        • Nick Delmacy | December 23rd, 2014
          0

          Oh shit!! @Hannibal actually wrote more than 6 or 7 words on a article and took the time out to explain his casual dismissals of others’ well articulated opinions?!?!?!

          • hannibal
            Hannibal | December 23rd, 2014
            0

            Why would anyone want to post their opinion if they are just gonna be attacked?

            • Ocky Williams | December 23rd, 2014
              +2

              Man stop it. Outside of being in an interracial relationship (which comes from perceived self hate)…no one here (including you) has stated why they dislike him. What’s wrong with admitting the dislike comes from him dick’n a white dude and keep’n it moving without adding the extra nothingness.

              AND who has attacked you? You acting like Black Pegasus is still commenting on here. STOP IT.

              • hannibal
                Hannibal | December 23rd, 2014
                0

                There’s a reason why I haven’t said why I dislike him. I never said I dislike him. It’s no secret that I don’t like interracial relationships(which is weird being the product of one) and I stand by that. I have also said I find him to be obnoxiously overexposed and then straddling the fence between not wanting to be famous for being gay…but only talking about his being gay. And while I have not personally been attacked, the tone is very nasty to the detractors and we have been called in this very thread, bitter, mad, jealous, etc.

                • ControlledXaos | December 23rd, 2014
                  0

                  Well, there are particular people who have gone in on this topic who I feel did not really explain where they came from or who really made it Windex clear that they can’t stand black people who date white people. Which I feel, for their arguments, overshadowed anything else they said because they spent so much time saying and drilling that point home. Michael Sam, the man, and Michael Sam’s interracial relationship are two different topics.

                  I’m not so sure that he’s playing the “I don’t wanna be famous for being gay.” card just yet. He very well could be like I mentioned before, I think his bf wanted public recognition of the relationship and pushed it on him to come out when he probably could have been dating someone else who would have been perfectly fine with being ‘discreet’ until the checks started to roll in.

                  But, that’s neither here nor there now. I’m just speculating on someone who I DO NOT KNOW so take that with a bottle of Himalayan pink salt. :/

  21. wildreed21
    wildreed21 | October 15th, 2015
    0

    How about I just saw this dude and his Italian bf on season 2 episode 6 of Ladies of London (on Bravo). Don’t ask me why I was watching that cuz the real question is why is he on such a random show. Now he’s getting an Oprah interview. I see a reality show coming. I would watch it for sure. I need something to watch cuz I def can’t watch Drag Race…




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