Second verse, same as the first. The term Queen takes the descriptor “girl” and/or “ladies” to its pinnacle level. When I hear a gay man call another man a Queen, I usually take that to mean he’s the very most effeminate and most Gay that a person can possibly get. Especially if its a successful gay man who happens to have a few effeminate characteristics.

Again, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we publicly do the work for the people that hate us?

We once had a black gay man who disagreed with our views write a blog post about us on The Huffington Post. No big deal. We are very critical of others so why should we be upset when others are critical of us?

No, what caught our eye was the fact that the writer referred to himself as a “Snap Queen” in the TITLE of the article! Wait…a what? From what I remember, snapping Queens was the disparaging running joke about black gay men on In Living Color. Is that what we’re doing now? We’re telling the world to take us seriously as intelligent black gay men (on The Huffington Post) by describing ourselves as characters that were jokes on a sketch comedy show?

If a straight man or someone being blatantly homophobic used the descriptor “Queen” in exactly the same way that we do it to each other, we’d be up in arms about it (well, our white gay GLAAD counterparts would be, at least). But there seems to be a blind spot for these offensive words when used within our own community.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that the use of these terms are in many ways a self defense mechanism for effeminate men in response to decades of being the brunt of homophobic jokes and homophobic physical attacks. A good offense is the best defense, they say.

My question is, “Is this really the best defense possible? Is it really working when these words still hurt if used by heterosexuals and/or closeted masculine gay men?”

If any man (straight or gay) calls me a Nigger or a Faggot, we’re gonna have some words and I promise you they won’t be followed by jolly laughs and giggles. Conversely, I would NEVER call someone I consider my friend or brother a “Nigger” or a “Faggot.” Same applies to Queen, Girl or Sissy. My friend Ocky Williams has never heard me call him “girl” or say to him, “you the biggest Queen I know” or “Hey Cunt, what you do this weekend?” or “Bitch, stop lying.”

Reason: Because I respect him as a man…a man who happens to be gay, but still a man…

Whether masculine or feminine, we are all men…not 16 year old high school Mean Girls.

Let’s all start to respect ourselves more in how we speak to one another as men. Especially those of us men who are Black and Gay…because don’t we already face enough abuse in the world?


What the fuck does this even mean? Seriously! Is it meant to be used as a verb? A noun? I mean, what the fuck?!

From what I understand this is the one word on the list that is supposed to specifically refer to desirable masculine men (whether straight or gay). It is primarily used by effeminate men, for what reason, I do not know.

“Oh girl, look at Trade over there!” he said as he pointed to the UPS man delivering packages.


Is the origin of this term related to the slave “Trade” of desireable Mandingo Men, lusted after by the dainty Caucasian lady of the plantation? Because that’s what it sounds like! Are we THAT damaged as a people that we’re still using multiple American Slavery terms to each other nearly 500 years later?!

Okay so objectifying muscular, masculine men doesn’t reinforce divisions we already have in abundance in our community regarding body image and gender performance? We don’t want a man to call himself “masculine” but it’s okay for us to call a masculine man “Trade?”

Let it go! No gay man likes to be called Trade. I promise you this.


This one is the most mind boggling of them all. Mainly because the Gay Powers That Be include the word in official acronyms that are supposed to represent us as a whole. Let’s take a look at what the dictionary defines as “Queer”:

queer [kweer]
1. Strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.
2. Of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
3. Not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.
4. Mentally unbalanced or deranged.
5. Slang: Disparaging and Offensive.

Wait, what? This is what people choose to refer to themselves as? Queer? How can we argue that there’s nothing wrong with being gay and we’re no different than heterosexuals when we call ourselves “Strange”, “Odd”, “Different” and “Mentally unbalanced” from the gate?

To make matters worse, as Ocky Williams often points out, there are actually College and University courses DEDICATED to “Queer Studies!”

This is the equivalent of a college class on Hispanic culture being called “Wetback History 101.”


Why would we officially claim a word that has historically and perpetually been used as a disparaging epithet? Even to this day! If a drunk straight man in a bar yelled out to a group of homosexuals “fuckin’ Queers!” would that group of ‘Queers’ say to themselves, “Yup that’s us! We’re really popular in here, guys. Everyone knows our name!”


You are not “Queer”! You are just as normal as everyone else! Calling yourself “Queer” admits defeat before your argument for acceptance even begins.

There are MANY more words to add to this list but these are five I think should be abolished ASAP. Self Respect and Self-Esteem begins from within. The solution of the attacks of a bully is not to bully ourselves first and pretend to like it. Yes, non-gay people continue to make it difficult for acceptance, but how can expect anything different when we continue to show them that we don’t respect each other amongst ourselves?

I want to hear your thoughts. Is using these words no big deal or are we perpetuating our own self-hatred?