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Brehs, we present to you a new episode of the CYPHER AVENUE PODCAST where you’ll hear us give updates, engage in heated topic debates, interviewing interesting homosexual men of color and us verbally adding on to the articles posted on the website. The episodes will be available in four ways: You can listen to them on the site, watch on YouTube, download a MP3 version or subscribe to us on iTunes or YouTube for automatic updates!

In this podcast, Cypher Avenue co-founders Octavius Williams and Nick Delmacy give a SPOILER-FREE review of the new critically acclaimed LGBT film, “Moonlight.” Then (at the 33:30 mark), they dive into spoilers to have a deep dive discussion of the film as well as tell never-before-told stories about their own lives dealing with Bullies and their Sexuality when they were teenagers.

MP3 VERSION:​

DOWNLOAD LINK:​

CYPHER AVENUE PODCAST #58​

Read the whole post here.

 

After years of rumors and speculation, Nintendo has finally revealed its latest console — the Nintendo Switch — and if early first impressions are anything to go by, it looks like it was worth the wait.

In typical Nintendo style, the Japanese company decided not to hold a big unveiling event, and instead post a simple three-minute trailer to its website and YouTube account showcasing exactly what the new console will be able to do.


From the trailer we can gather that the Switch is a portable console hybrid, designed to be taken on the road or hooked up to a TV at home. The reveal video didn’t gift us much in terms of actual specs and information, but it did show a lot of different shots of the system. We’ve broken them all down here below.

You can play the Switch on your TV, thanks to the Nintendo Switch Dock


This is what it looks like…


It uses cartridges, not discs


When you leave the house, the Switch can be pulled up out of its dock


You can then use the console on-the-move using two Joy-Con controllers, which look like this…


They can be attached to either side of the Switch…


Or you can combine them using the Joy-Con Grip…


To create a portable controller


The switch then acts as a screen, using handy fold-out stands at the back of the console


Which means you can use it to play split-screen two player


Like this…


Pretty exciting, huh? The Nintendo Switch is coming out in March 2017, stay tuned for more information.

 

23/24 out of 25. Never seen The Best Man (althought I saw Best Man 2, so that kinda counts) and Bluehill Avenue. What say you, CA?

 

Brehs, we present to you a new episode of the CYPHER AVENUE PODCAST where you’ll hear us give updates, engage in heated topic debates, interviewing interesting homosexual men of color and us verbally adding on to the articles posted on the website. The episodes will be available in four ways: You can listen to them on the site, watch on YouTube, download a MP3 version or subscribe to us on iTunes or YouTube for automatic updates!

In this podcast, Cypher Avenue co-founders Octavius Williams and Nick Delmacy discuss if Overly Tattooed Men Are Sexy or Just Gross, Misleading Thirst Trapping Instagram Personal Trainers, Sexual Hangups & Anxieties and activist Ocky’s recent issues with Black Lives Matter as a Gay Black Man.

DOWNLOAD LINK:​

CYPHER AVENUE PODCAST #57​

​

 

The Only 10 Things That Could EVER be Blacker Than the Luke Cage Experience.

1- If Cicely Tyson and Wesley Snipe had a fish fry to raise money for Viola Davis’ new wig collection.
2- If Colin Kapernick ate a plate of fish and grits on the sideline as the anthem played.
3- If India Arie & Lauryn Hill sang a duet about getting their hair straightened at the stove on Easter.
4- If Barack Obama flipped over the table after Michelle hit him with two Draw 4’s and kept him from going out.
5- If Oprah Winfrey cornrowed Gayle King’s hair on her cousin’s steps while listening to Earth, Wind, & Fire.
6- If the Wu-Tang Clan was put in charge of the PTA for all Staten Island school activities.
7- If Lupita Nyongo got her gold earrings snatched right after getting them off layaway at 12th & Chestnut.
8- If Whoopi Goldberg sang the Black National Anthem at a Spades Tournament in Detroit.
9- If Malik Yoba shined his shoes and then used the rest of the Vaseline to moisturize his lips.
10- If Debbie Allen lead 1,000 black folks in the electric slide on MLK Boulevard in any city on any given day.

 

Well no...but she does remind me of Tweet, Aliyah and Missy. Like the art and creativity of the videos though.

 

Black Mask Studios had a successful campaign raising over $95k earlier this year to help create their new comic Black. From their website Black is described as X-Men meets The Wire. They do on further to state:

“In a world that already hates and fears them – what if only Black people had superpowers? After miraculously surviving being gunned down by police, a young man learns that he is part of the biggest lie in history. Now he must decide whether it’s safer to keep it a secret or if the truth will set him free.”​

Reviews so far have been positive:

“A young black person gets shot by police. This time, he gets up, discovering that he’s more powerful than he ever could have imagined. In a time when the African-American community’s fraught relationship with the police is making headlines across the world, BLACK is shaping up to be a superhero comic ripped right out of some of modern America’s biggest social issues.”
io9​

“BLACK follows Kareem Jenkins, a young black teenager who gets racially profiled and gunned down by police only to discover that he is one of many black people with superpowers.”
Comics Alliance​

“A story like BLACK is still important, and necessary… It may attract one demographic more than others, but it parallels current events – so it is a universal story.”
The Washington Post​

“There is, unfortunately, no better time for a comic book like BLACK to be announced and created than right now, because the visual of the young Black man wearing a hoodie and being confronted by the gun(s) of police officers is burned into our collective conscience. It is the image of one of the most prevalent and gross generalizations of our times.”
Comic Book Resources​

Check out the preview below.







Read the whole post here.

 

I don't have any sugar daddies after me but I thought this post was really funny lol Don't AJ (one on the left) look soo good.
But where ole dude on the right get those pants with the holes in em though.

 

To all my Bisexual brothers in the squad, today we exclusively celebrate and embrace you. There is still a lot of room to grow for understanding, but we def recognize and relate to your struggles and feelings of alienation.



HRC Celebrates #BiWeek | Human Rights Campaign

Today, HRC marks the start of Bisexual Awareness Week, also known as #BiWeek. The week will culminate on Friday with Bisexuality Day.

A bisexual person is someone who can be attracted to more than one gender, and studies show that as much as half of the lesbian, gay and bisexual population identify as bisexual. In other words, bisexual–– or bi –– people comprise the largest single group in the LGBTQ community.

As bisexual people continue to gain visibility and awareness through advocates and leaders such as Anna Paquin, Shane Dawson, Oregon Governor Kate Brown, Alan Cumming, Stephanie Beatriz and Evan Rachel Wood, it is vital to remain cognizant about the issues facing the bisexual community.

For example, compared to other groups in the LGBTQ community, bisexuals face striking rates of poor health outcomes ranging from cancer and obesity to sexually transmitted infections to mental health problems. Additionally, bisexual youth face a unique set of challenges that affect their ability to flourish in their families, schools and communities.

Stay tuned to HRC’s blog to learn more about Bisexual Awareness Week and check out hrc.org/bisexual for more information about the community and the issues it currently faces.

What does it mean to be bisexual? How many people are bisexual? What concerns do bisexual people have? Check out these answers to some basic questions about bisexuality.

 

This is not a piece about how foreign women will be docile and treat you like a king, sorry bruh. This is about preservation of self. This is about saving your sanity. This is about living. You need to leave the United States for a couple of days (or weeks, or years), and you need to do it alone.

Let’s be honest, there are often times where you feel like a foreigner in your own home. No matter how accomplished you’ve become, your own country still looks at you like an anomaly, a glitch, an insult to the system designed to defeat me and you, your momma and your cousin too. As black men, we are constantly subjected to the idea of who we are, instead of our truths.

As lucky as I’ve been to travel the world pretty frequently, many would be surprised to learn my first international solo trip was this year. I’ve flown solo to destinations and met up with friends in different cities, but a trip where I was my only ally in another country hadn’t happened just yet. Now that I’ve done it, I’m pissed I didn’t take a solo journey earlier. I didn’t know how badly I needed to be away. I didn’t know how much I would gain from going alone. I didn’t know until I came back. I needed a break from America.

The last few years have been a unique kind of purgatory for me as a black man, and I’m sure this is the truth for countless other black and brown men existing in America. Daily we are force fed examples of ourselves being taunted, harassed, and murdered, to the point where we too, experience a death of sorts. You slowly spiral downward, finding yourself in this twisted waiting room, counting the days until you become the hashtag. Every week you learn of a new way to die (playing your music loud, doing your job, asking for help when your car has stalled on the road, or reading a book in your car) with no new details on how to live. This dark space we're in right now, isn’t living. This isn’t supposed to be your black existence.

By this point, they’ve won. They've made you believe that this black hole of despair belongs to you. You've got to save yourself. It is because of this, that your next (or even your first) trip out of the country needs to be a solo trip. You, my friend, need a break. You need a moment away to recharge, reflect, and realign. You need to call out sick from America.

“And they say by 21 I was supposed to die, so I’m out here celebrating my post-demise.
— Jay Z


Here’s some reasons why you’re in need of a solo trip abroad.
1. Because it will build your confidence.
Few things test your confidence like being in a place where you barely speak the language, have limited access to the internet, and no one to rely upon but yourself. Traveling alone forces you to tap into these abilities and actually use skills you rarely get to flex when at home, such as being a social being and talking to strangers, accepting the challenge of critical thinking and problem solving to get where you want to go.

More importantly, it gives you the chance to be a carefree black man. Do things you wouldn’t think of doing with your crew around because your boys might look at you funny. The only person you have to worry about making a fool of yourself in front of, is people you’re likely to never see again, and if you do, they’ll know you as that ridiculously confident guy who didn’t care about what others thought. These are the kind of moments you need to realize that being you is the most lit thing you can do, a direct hit to the notion that being you is reason enough for death.

“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.
— Ralph Ellison


There’s also the opportunities for these really dope moments of clarity that you just can’t get while being surrounded by your normal atmosphere. Some of my best moments of reflection and healing (because yes, we as black men need space to heal from the litany of attacks upon our being) came from being away from all of the static of my day-to-day. You’d be surprised by how clear the mind becomes when it’s away from home.

“All we wanna do is be free.
— J. Cole

2. Because you need to stop waiting on someone to validate your decision to travel somewhere.
Bruh, just go. Stop waiting on your frat brothers to find the time off, stop waiting on someone to say your dream trip to Antartica is a dope idea, stop waiting for others to validate your decision to go somewhere. Just go. I’ve missed out on really great trips waiting for others to come to their senses. I decided that “they,” whoever “they” may be, won’t prevent me from seeing the world. If I want to see the pyramids, I’m going, with or without you. Be your own man and see the world.

Break barriers for others by going it alone. Someone’s solo trip is waiting on yours to inspire them. So do it.

The other great part to a solo trip is creating a part of your life that is closed off to your friends, family, and colleagues. We as black men often keep the things to ourselves that we need to share most; our pain, our cries for help. Very rarely do we get to make and maintain positive moments that are ours, and ours only. That’s exactly what these kinds of trips are for.

“You have the right to every end of your exploration and no motherfucker anywhere can tell you otherwise . . .
— Ta-Nehisi Coates


3. Because frankly, you deserve it.
Your current space in the world can kill you, in more ways than one. The 24 hour news cycle constantly plastering images of men who look like you being killed simply. for. being. The reminders that no matter how successful you are, a substantial portion of the “fellow” countrymen still look at you as less than. The space in your brain occupied by constant rage, fear, confusion, and racial fatigue, it’s all slowly stealing your life. Brother, you need a moment away. This is not to say that everywhere outside of the United States is a black man’s paradise, that’s far from the truth, but there is an opportunity to turn the volume down on the negativity, if only for a few days.

“Men can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread.
— Richard Wright


4. Because you need to realize that some of your “Western” sensibilities, make no sense at all.
America often becomes the default answer for “all things great,” but you, as a black man, are one of the first to know it’s not always true. Yet somehow, we still cling onto these westernized ideas as gospel. Remember, these same “western” ideals are often used as confirmation to view and treat you in a certain way. Taking a chance to see how other cultures view the world, experience life, and view manhood is key to understanding that most of what you thought you knew, was BS. Especially when it comes to how we as Americans view the safety of the rest of the world. I’ve had friends and family tell me, “I want to travel, but the lack of safety in some of these countries concerns me…” I can’t subscribe to that way of thinking, especially when my safety in my own country is questionable at best. I challenge those concerned about their safety to really compare your fears of making it home without a police encounter to the “safety” concerns you have about visiting other countries. And honestly, most of the people telling you a place isn’t safe, haven't been anywhere near the place in question. Ask somebody how safe they think Cuba is, and it’s likely they won’t tell you it's labeled one of the safest countries in Latin America, let alone the world. What they will tell you is “Be safe,” implying some notion that your life is more at risk there than where you currently are. You also can’t rely upon online reviews from others to gauge how safe YOU will feel in another country. Because of our daily interactions as black men, our thresholds of fear, for better or worse, usually rest higher on the scale than others, since we live with a daily cloud of threat over our heads on our home turf.



5. Because it may be your last time to do it.
Before you get married, before the kids, before you take that new job, before the ills of old age or those student loan payments kick in, and before you can make excuses for yourself, go. Life comes at you fast, and you don’t want to be in a position where you long for moments you missed out on. And because it’s just you, it doesn’t have to be this grand, luxurious getaway (unless that’s your thing, then by all means…). The beauty of traveling alone, is that the only person you’re accountable for, is you. If you’re a morning person, you’re not waiting for the rest of your crew to get up to enjoy a day in a new place. If you want to come back to the hotel in the middle of the day to catch a nap, do it. If you want to go to that spot in the seedy part of Shanghai, do it….just don’t get arrested.

“Now watch that black boy fly…
— Kendrick Lamar



Stop waiting for #yourname to happen.
Get out of here and live for the brothers and sisters who didn’t get a chance to. I know what you’re thinking, and no, this isn’t selfish. You are not abandoning your community by taking time for you to rebuild. The salve of self-care is more important than ever, and getting away, alone, gives you the opportunity to just be, an identity we tend to lose. Your greatest asset in this fight to stay alive is your black joy.

BLACK MEN: We Need To Leave America

 

Marcus Scribner was made for his role as Andre Johnson Jr. in ABC’s hit series “Black-ish.”

Anthony Anderson, Kenya Barris, and then-executive producer Larry Wilmore knew this in 2014 when Scribner thought he could connect with the Los Angeles, California, natives by shouting “WEST COAST REPRESENT!” during his audition.

The 16-year-old confessed that he thought he was being cool, but flexing his hometown pride actually just came off as nerd-trying-to-be-cool, which was something Andre would definitely do.

“We definitely have our similarities,” Scribner told The Huffington Post of his character. “We love video games, we love superheroes, some of those kind of things that are classic ‘nerd’ kind of things. At the same time, we’re very different. I feel like I’m not as clumsy or gullible as Andre Jr. but that’s what also makes him so fun to play because it’s like a different character. It’s somebody you don’t get to experience on the daily basis.”


As “Black-ish” goes into its third season, premiering Sept. 21, Scribner said audiences have seen Junior (and himself) develop but, one thing remains the same, black nerds are missing from television.

“There are families like the Johnsons that exists in real life and it’s like a large part of our population, so why not show that on television instead of the stereotypical roles they would cast black people in,” the actor told HuffPost. “I mean, obviously, there are those positive roles, there are those nerdy roles but there’s not a lot of representation of that on television. So I feel like just getting to be a part of a show that actually is about it is a blessing.”

And Scribner’s blessing seems to have made an impact on the show’s viewers, too. With episodes like “Hope,” which painted an accurate picture of the harsh realities black families face when confronted with the issue of police brutality, shows that the comedic series is in a league of its own.

The young actor said talking real social issues is what makes “Black-ish” so special, and it has racked up three Emmy nominations this year: one for Outstanding Comedy Series, one for Outstanding Lead Actor in a comedy series (Anthony Anderson) and one for Outstanding Lead Actress in a comedy series (Tracee Ellis Ross, the first black woman nominated for this category in 30 years).

Scribner said he’s proud of how the show proves that black people aren’t one-dimensional. Through his character, audiences see a clumsy teen who’d rather play video games and referee than be on the basketball court shooting jumpers. Andre is the anti-hypermasculine young black male that TV doesn’t always show audiences.


DAMON DAHLEN/HUFFINGTON POST
Black nerds rock.
“I definitely want to [have] a super positive impact... making sure that nerds, black nerds in specific, are being represented on television. Cause I mean, to be honest, there’s just a ton of us out here,” he told HuffPost. He added that shows like “Everybody Hates Chris” and “The Bernie Mac Show” helped to put on black nerds, but he said he’s looking forward to making the black boy nerd more visible, notably in his latest movie role as a coder in “Alexander IRL.”

While he’s holding it down for the “blerds” in “Black-ish,” he wants to make one thing clear for Hollywood show-runners:

“We out here!”

Marcus Scribner Of 'Black-ish' Wants To See More Black Nerds On TV | Huffington Post

 

It’s a watershed year fraught with turmoil for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community. Across the American South, queer, trans and gender-nonconforming people are facing wave after wave of legislation that threatens our safety, well-being and very existence.

From “bathroom bills“ to ordinances that permit discrimination, this battle is in many ways a backlash to all of the victories our community has seen recently —including last year’s nation-wide legalization of same-sex marriage — and it serves a multitude of political and social purposes for the religious and political right.

In this new series, HuffPost Queer Voices Deputy Editor JamesMichael Nichols, who hails from North Carolina himself, talks to some of the leaders, movers and shakers of the fight for queer and trans liberation in the South about their own personal experiences as activists, the current political and social climate for the LGBT community in these states and the action that we, as a community, can take to help. Check out the previous interviews Pamela Raintree, Councilwoman LaWana Mayfield and Joce Pritchett.

As legislative war continues to rage in North Carolina over House Bill 2, activists in its sister state of South Carolina are continuing the fight for queer liberation on their own turf.

One of those championing the fight for LGBT rights in South Carolina is writer and activist Alvin McEwen, who runs the influential blog Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters, which just celebrated its 10-year anniversary. Living in Columbia, South Carolina, McEwen is an openly gay man of color whose blog tells the important stories of the LGBT community on a national level, but with a focus on the often overlooked struggles of queer Southerners.

Much of McEwen’s crucial work centers on the ways in which, in his own words, “religious-right groups distort legitimate research and rely on junk studies to stigmatize the LGBT community.” McEwen is a also two-time GLAAD Award nominee.

In this interview with The Huffington Post, McEwen reflects on the past decade running Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters, the history of anti-LGBT bigotry in the South and what, in his mind, queer Southern liberation looks like.

The Huffington Post: To start, tell us a bit about your story. Do you consider yourself an activist? How did you find yourself at the forefront of South Carolina’s fight for LGBT rights?

Alvin McEwen: The incidents that led me to this point of what I’m doing now can be best described as moments which stood out and had an affect on how I view things as a gay man. One of the most crucial [moments] was when I slowly came out during college in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. This was a time before Ellen [DeGeneres], before “Will and Grace” ― stuff like that. Even being hinted as gay could cause you to get an automatic beat down. It wasn’t a good time because there weren’t that many social settings where you could be comfortable with being yourself. I remember the first time I was in a room with nothing but other gay men ― it was us meeting in a professional setting ― I actually kept my glasses off for a few minutes because I felt so damn uncomfortable. Other than being the editor of a college publication which mentioned gay issues and being a silent member of a campus gay group, I didn’t do anything of note.

In terms of my dealing with my sexual orientation, college was not a good experience for me. Even when I came out, I had a serious problem embracing my sexual orientation and dealing with the isolation and the stoppage of life which came with it. By the “stoppage of life,” I mean that I wasn’t able to mentally grow like other folks. I didn’t go out on dates, I couldn’t pursue a public relationship. I had clandestine encounters but that’s not healthy. It makes you feel like a ghoul sneaking around a graveyard at night. The knowledge that no matter if I was in the closet or not, life would be different from what I wanted before I realized I was gay was devastating at that time, but slowly I learned to deal with it. I guess I got involved in activism to create an environment in which these things that crippled my development couldn’t affect others.

I think I really got into LGBT activism in 2004 when I became a board member of the South Carolina Pride Movement. From there, I did a few other things ― helped found a statewide LGBT of color organization and tried to write a book on the religious right. I self-published the book and it was a disaster, but it led me to create the blog “Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters” in 2006. The blog is celebrating its 10th anniversary this month. It’s given the issues I’m working and myself a lot of positive attention, as well as opened many doors for me.

If I call myself an “activist,” it’s only because I can’t of a better word to define what I do. I don’t like the word because it brings up bad connotations to me. When I hear “activist,” I think of someone who stages a loud public protest over one issue, gets all emotional over it, then moves to another issue without really getting anything solved. I’ve seen some people use “activism” as public action designed to attract attention but then they abandon the issue. I think that if you are concerned about an issue, you do more than participate in a street protest. You work not only to bring attention to an issue, but also to push some type of resolution. That means you devote more time to it, build some type of structure which can be self-sustaining for a long time. Also, when I hear the word “activist,” I can’t help but thinking of a group of intellectual people arguing over esoteric terms and language while not even attempting to figure out how to communicate those things to the folks they are trying to convince or help. I like details, the slow planning and the attention to detail it takes to sustain things. I don’t mind being behind the scenes and doing the grunt work. And I believe in keeping things simple, communicating ideas in a way to get people to understand what you are attempting to do.



What unique set of struggles do LGBT people face in South Carolina?

In South Carolina, LGBT people have to deal with living in a so-called red state in the Bible belt. That means we get a lot of flack from folks who like to clutch their Bibles ― and that bleeds into our legislature. We’ve had a few problems over the years with legislators remembering Bible verses with better precision than they remember their secular duties to serve all South Carolinians. And it gets downright sad when they go off on some issue tangent. The majority of recent conflicts with the LGBT community and the legislature in SC stems from state congressional leaders taking it upon themselves to assertively attack us. I know the religious right narrative is that LGBT people encroach things and some so-called moral people take it upon themselves to fight back. You can forget that mindset here. A year ago, one legislator interrupted the debate on the Confederate flag after that awful shooting in Charleston to rail against President Obama and marriage equality. That shows you the caliber of nonsense the community in SC have to deal with. The good news is that he was defeated in a primary this year because of incidents like the one I just talked about. Slowly but surely we are winning the battle to win hearts and change minds. The momentum is definitely on our side.

What have your experiences been like as a blogger fighting for queer liberation in South Carolina? What have you focused on? What have been your biggest challenges?

Being an LGBT person of color in the South itself can sometimes be a “drag,” if I am allowed to use out-of-date vernacular. I think we have the same problems that LGBT people of color have in all areas of the country ― but down here, things tend to get intensified. We are in the middle of the so-called Bible belt, as well as in the areas where the 1950s and ‘60s Civil Rights Movement took place. That means the problem of dual invisibility from both the black and gay communities we face is starker. On one hand is the black community and in the center of that is the black church. No matter what some folks in the media say about the black community, the LGBT community is a bit more accepted than people think, but that’s as long as we silently agree to the role we are psychologically assigned to play. That means we are supposed to fit the stereotype that some in the black community have about us. Gay men are “weak nellies.” Lesbians are uber butch predators, transgender men and women are trying to trick heterosexuals into sexual activity, and bisexuals are confused and promiscuous.

We are looked at as “special” in a way that we are not supposed to, feel insulted when heterosexual black people tell us that they love us even if they “don’t agree with our lifestyle.” It means we are supposed to accept a place of anonymity in the black community when it comes to family, history, and the church. And that last part is extremely ironic because there would be no present black Southern church culture if it weren’t for black LGBT individuals. It’s a sad irony when you think about how the black Southern churches sing many of the songs that we wrote and arranged, admire us as gospel singers, wear the hairstyles that many of us gave them, or wear the fancy clothes that many of us make for them to wear while they sit in the pews, but won’t acknowledge that we are people with lives and not “lifestyles.” In the gay community, it’s matter of unconscious ignorance, i.e. the idea that all LGBT people are the same. There has been a failure to understand that being LGBT is different in every culture and that the popular things and people in the white LGBT community aren’t necessarily popular in the LGBT community of color.

Now, that may be changing. There are some folks who will acknowledge and respect the uniqueness that LGBT people of color bring to the community. And that number is growing. But that presents new problems. It’s been my experience that sometimes I get taken for granted as a black gay man. I certainly want to be respected as an LGBT person of color. I want my culture to be respected and acknowledged also. But I don’t want to be pigeonholed. Take what I do on my blog, for example. It exposes and refutes anti-LGBT propaganda that the religious right uses to denigrate us and deny us our equality. How many LGBT people of color do you know do this type of work? Sometimes I wonder if my blog would have more success and attention if either I were a gay white male from a metropolitan city tackling these issues or if my blog focused solely on African-American issues. And, unfortunately, racism from some in the gay community does show up. I’ve been in situation where I have been called several ugly names, including “tar baby,” by some in the white gay community. That sort of thing tends to attack your spirit and makes you wonder what’s the point.


COURTESY OF ALVIN MCEWEN
What challenges for LGBT people in the South are unique or different from the rest of the country?

South Carolina has changed tremendously over the years. In spite of the problems we still have to overcome, our community continues to grow. At our recent Pride, we had over 55,000 participants. And this was the first year which I saw no protestors and I think that’s very important. At several past Prides, the protestors would be at the State House with their “Sodomy Is a Sin” or “You Will Judge You. Repent” signs. This year was strangely different but very nice. And I think that sort of thing sends a message that slowly things are changing for the better. That doesn’t mean we are without problems, especially that of lowered expectations. Not from us but what LGBT people in other parts of the country think about us. We aren’t just fighting religious ignorance down here, we are fighting ignorance thrown at us from other parts of the country.

The LGBT community in this state was able to pass nondiscrimination ordinances in several cities and counties, we have a plethora of wonderful city and statewide LGBT organizations including some dealing solely with the transgender community, LGBT youth, and LGBT people of color, our Pride celebration is respected for making money for the state year after year and bringing in noted celebrities, we have a few affirming churches, and a wonderful LGBT community center, The Harriet Hancock Community LGBT Center. We have an amazing community with diverse leaders. But all it take is one ignorant legislator to say something stupid or one ridiculous incident and all of that disappears in the eyes of so many and we are called backwards rednecks. We have to deal with stereotypes from other parts of the country and the fact that people expect to hear bad news about lgbts down here but will ignore the good news, even if the good news outweighs the bad. I think that’s our unique challenge. Somehow articulating to the rest of the country not to believe the ridiculous stereotypes and to know that down here we are thriving and succeeding as a community in spite of the challenges we face.

Obviously the South has a long history of anti-LGBT bigotry but things seem to be intensifying ― especially from a legislative standpoint ― but why do you feel like legislators have chosen this particular moment — and these particular issues — in order to attack and discriminate against LGBT people in the South?

I don’t think there is anything special or shocking about this that’s not indicative of what’s happening around the country. What we are seeing is a backlash and sometimes backlashes aren’t all negative in terms of what they mean and what you can do when they happen. There are times when backlashes mean that you are pissing off or scaring the right people. The big question is what do you do when it takes place because you have two options. You can either cower in a corner or rise up to the challenge of facing it head on. What happened in the SC legislature this year is an example of that. That former legislator I mentioned was pushing one of those awful “bathroom bills” through. Granted, the bill was not popular because folks, including Governor Haley, was reluctant to get into the same type of controversy and boycott that grips North Carolina. Still, the LGBT community didn’t take anything lightly. Organizations got together and fought the bill. And in fighting the bill, they put on a campaign which I think was awesome. They worked with members of the transgender community to articulate a message which didn’t try to avoid talking about how this bill would affect that community. I think that was a problem in other areas where bills like this were being pushed; those fighting them were trying to avoid taking on the “bathroom bill” narrative head on. Instead, the transgender community told their stories to a legislative committee and the public. It was amazing. We had transgender students and their allies protesting on the State House grounds outside while inside, several transgender men, women, and children spoke to the committee and broke it down in terms of how this bill would harm them. The bill didn’t pass but I think the major point was that in South Carolina, the LGBT community took on the “bathroom bill” narrative and beat it.

Looking towards the future, what does an American South where LGBT people are liberated and free look like to you?

An American South where LGBT people are liberated and free is one where they can make choices with regards to their lives based upon what they want to do and not by how others define them. But even in that future, we must always be vigilant. There is no such thing as freedom which can’t be taken away if folks get complacent and lazy.

Want to hear more from McEwen? Head here to check out his blog Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters.

This Gay Man Is Fighting For LGBT Rights In The South And Beyond | Huffington Post

 

As toddlers, we usually respond to the word “no” by crying and stamping our feet, hoping our teary tantrums will get us a “yes”. Sadly, it’s generally frowned upon for grown men to throw themselves on the floor of the pub when a girl or a guy won’t give you their number, and your boss definitely isn’t going to respond very well to a dirty protest when you’re told you didn’t secure that pay rise.

Being rebuffed can be hard to take, especially in a society where men have traditionally believed they’re in charge and the world has been theirs for the taking. “If at first, you don’t succeed, try and try again,” we’re told. “Be a man; don’t take no for an answer,” they say. This outlook can work well when applied to training for a marathon or arguing with your bank manager, but most of the time rejection is a bitter pill we must all swallow.

Accept you can’t make someone go out with you
In a bar and they say they’re not interested? Smile, wish them a nice evening, and back the hell off immediately. If you’re on adating app and don’t get a response, don’t message them more than twice. If they say you’re not their type or don’t want to talk to you, reply “No worries”. If they reject your offer of a date, reply “No worries”. No other course of action is acceptable. You’re not going to get laid anyway – no point becoming a viral hit on social media when the object of your affection screenshots all your insults, pathetic chat-up lines or thinly veiled sociopathic attempts at breeziness and tweets them to the world. You may as well take holy orders then; nobody's going to want to f*** you.

Handle a knock back on a date like a pro
One of the most common misunderstandings on a date, especially the first few, is that it can only be considered a success if there is at least a kiss at the end of it. We talk of chemistry and spark like it were something out of a fairy-tale. But you are not Prince Charming and Snow White does not need waking from her slumber. If a date went well, but they don’t want to kiss you, this may only be a temporary rejection. It doesn’t mean no for ever, it merely means it’s a no until they say otherwise. But don’t force it.


You may get offended – how dare they reject the thunderous passion of your embrace? You’re making it all about how you feel. If they back away when you go in for a kiss, there could be a variety of reasons: perhaps the date hadn’t gone as well as you thought; maybe they simply don’t believe in snogging on the first night; maybe they felt it was a "special" night and didn’t want to spoil it; perhaps they’ve realised they have bad breath and didn’t want to put you off; or, just maybe, they’re not in the mood tonight.

Either way, reacting like a whiny baby demanding ten more minutes on the teat is not, under any circumstances, going to reverse this decision. Ever. If they turn their face away, or say they don’t kiss on the first date, retreat with grace, say it isn’t a problem. Because it really shouldn’t be. Oh, and there’s nothing wrong with asking permission to kiss someone, by the way. It might sound overly romantic or old-fashioned, but it can be quite hot, in the moment, and at least you’ll know where you are.

Get dumped with dignity
Broken hearts do the stupidest things. In your darkest hours, sitting and wondering why your better half has broken it off, your dumb, shattered, impetuous heart will tell your head not to accept it. If you change, they’ll reconsider, it tells you. They can’t possibly mean that they never want to see you again, you think, they’re just angry and they’ll surely settle down. If I keep on at them, they’ll realise what a big mistake they’ve made. Wrong. You owe it to yourself, and your ex, not to be this guy. Nobody wants to be with this guy. You think bombarding your ex with texts and calls will force them to reconsider, or at least hear you out, but at best it will make them feel sorry for you – not a great basis for a reunion – or at worst you’ll start to scare them. You will, in fact, 99 times out of 100, convince them they’ve made the right decision in letting you go.

If someone says they never want to see you again, don’t take it as a game: stay the hell out of their face. Haunting their social media and liking posts or leaving comments “just to remind you I’m still here” isn’t sweet, it’s creepy. You run the risk of turning an ex who still cared for you but wanted to move on into an enemy who’s frightened of you and wishes they’d never met you. Mute them, or block, on social media, but do it without comment. Talk out your problems with your friends; stick to hanging around people who do want to be with you. Definitely ask yourself what went wrong and think about how maybe you could stop this happening in a future relationship, but find something new to focus on – don’t think any epiphany is going to automatically lead to a reconciliation. Learn from what went wrong, but don’t let it destroy you – but accept that it’s too late for that relationship now. Get counselling if you’re really struggling to get over it, and accept that any reconciliation secured through badgering would be a hollow victory; you’d never know if your ex really wanted to be there. Live your best life, but take it forward, in a different direction from your ex. It’s the only way.

Don’t get bitter about your career
Getting bitter, and thinking about revenge or payback, is only going to prolong your agony. Take that work colleague, for example, there’s always one, isn’t there? Let’s call him Gavin. That guy who the bosses love, who gets all the credit, the big promotions, who doesn’t seem to do anything, while you work steadily away, acing everything you do but for little recognition. Sitting at your desk seething and driving yourself mad isn’t going to get you anywhere – you’ll still be sitting there, just as you were, trying not to get soup on your tie. Bitching Gavin out to colleagues would be a waste of time too, as it would very likely only change people’s perceptions of you, not him. The trouble with facing down rejection in your career is that you have to be professional at all times, smiling at your colleagues but screaming internally as you glide down corridors on autopilot.

Obviously what you really want to do is go to Gavin’s office and set fire to his desk tidy, but what you must do is shake his hand, congratulate him. Instead of bitterness, choose determination to be better, to live better. Think about why he’s the one who gets all the good stuff. Is it a cultural thing at your company? Do they love creeps or guys who go to all the after-work socials? Is this someone you think you can be, or even want to be, and can you change? Use Gavin’s inexplicable, undeserved success to ask yourself whether you’re on the right path. If bad guys get all the breaks, do you want to work for these people? Or – and sometimes it does have to be this, sorry – are you portraying the right image to your colleagues? If you’re definitely being the very best you can be, and are being honest with yourself, then maybe you’re not the problem.

Don’t write yourself off as a loser
Rejection stings so hard because it feels personal, but this is a pretty shortsighted way of looking at it. Sometimes to really isn’t about you at all. Anything you do involving more than person will always have an element you can’t control. There are so many variables keeping you from the things you really want. Applying for jobs, for example, is a minefield, with feedback from interviews usually ending up spectacularly unhelpful – “You were great but we preferred another candidate”. No shit. Remember that the next guy might have had slightly more experience, or been cheaper to hire, may have been mates with the manager’s sibling or told a really hilarious joke about Boris Johnson – it’s out of your hands. If you get a no from a job and they don’t offer feedback straightaway, don’t pester them. They’ll only resort to making something up, and hectoring them might make them less disposed to thinking of you for further opportunities. Usually, if you’re really honest with yourself, you can see why you weren't picked. And if you can’t, accept it’s beyond your control and just keep trying elsewhere.

Use rejection as a sign you may need to change
We should, however, learn from every no, because it’s a word we’re probably going to hear a lot more of. We’re encountering increasing competition in our careers and, thanks to dating apps, in our love lives. It’s never been so easy to reject someone, so we need to learn how useful rejection can be, how it can shine a light on our behaviour. Rejection is like a warning, or an inoculation. You have to feel it, and it has to burn, so you can fine-tune any future decision you make. When you go for something again, be it a kiss, a date or a new job, you’ll remember how it felt, and it will arm you, make you stronger – because you’ll remember how it feels. Realising that a “yes” is not an automatic right, that it has to be earned and can only be awarded to you, not taken, will make it all the sweeter when it comes.

A gentleman knows when he’s beaten, and is buoyed by the thought of his next victory. Onward, guys.
Onward.

How to deal with rejection like a gentleman

 

Hot tubs are a serious investment. And their permanent nature and expensive price tag deter many would-be buyers from actually investing. While this in not unreasonable, there are other options out there that are more user-friendly and less permanent, like the Coleman Lay-Z Spa for example.

The Coleman is an inflatable hot tub that comfortably seats up to four individuals. You can digitally control the pump and temperature, which tops out at 104 degrees, thanks to the soft touch control panel on the tub as well. When empty, the spa weighs in at a modest 70 pounds, making it easy for two people to transport the hot tub to an ideal location in the backyard. It also boasts 120 bubble jets, is made from a fabric-coated material, and requires little maintenance due to the two easily replaceable filter cartridges that keep your spa water refreshing each and every time. Use it to relax after work, ease any soreness after a workout, or as a party favor during a late summer barbecue. The Coleman is available now and retails for $380.
Coleman's Inflatable Lay-Z Spa Is A Portable Hot Tub For Four

 

It's unfortunate that along the way same gender loving (homosexuality in men) became equivalent or synonymous with being weak and un-male like. Examples through out history prove otherwise.

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The Sacred Band of Thebes
By Louis Crompton



In classical Greece, not only Athens but cities with every kind of constitution took notice of the fact of male love. Aristocracies where the privileged few held sway recognized its power to forge bonds between promising youths and conservative mentors. Democracies saw it as insurance against tyranny. Tyrants sometimes forbade it or, more often, tasted its pleasures, suffered the revenge of rivals or alienated lovers, and lamented that their very omnipotence made it impossible ever to be sure they enjoyed disinterested affection. But the major source of its prestige remained (despite Plato) its contribution to military morale. In the fourth century this heroic tradition found its most famous embodiment in the so-called hieros lochos, the Sacred Band of Thebes. This force, created by the Theban general Gorgidas, was made up of pairs of lovers who at first fought interspersed throughout other regiments. Then, under his successor, Pelopidas, it fought as a separate contingent of shock troops. Its success was to make Thebes for a generation the most powerful state in Greece, and its fate was in the end the fate of Greece itself.

Theban tradition easily sanctioned such an institution. Thebes and Elis are repeatedly cited as the two states of the Greek mainland which most unqualifiedly encouraged male relations. Xenophon, in his Constitution of Sparta, observed that such relations were transitory at Elis but that at Thebes men and boys lived together “like married people”; perhaps this reflected Cretan patterns. The cult of Heracles was especially strong in Boeotia. Aristotle, in a lost work, described a “tomb of Iolaus” dedicated to the hero’s lover and companion-in-arms, where Theban lovers in his day still plighted mutual devotion. Plutarch thought the “Sacred” Band derived its name from this rite.

In 404 the Peloponnesian War had come to an end with Sparta’s total defeat of Athens. But the victors misused their power. Sparta wielded its new hegemony harshly, imposing oligarchic rulers favorable to their interests on states that formerly had democratic regimes. Among these was Thebes, where in 382 a Spartan commander treacherously seized its citadel and installed new pro-Spartan leaders. Three years later democratic Theban exiles returned and recaptured the fortress, the Cadmeia, in a daring coup that drove the Spartans out. Conflict with the most formidable military regime in Greece now seemed inevitable. At this crucial juncture Gorgidas, in 378, organized the Sacred Band, which realized—within a few years of the writing of the Symposium—Phaedrus’ fantasy of an “army of lovers.”

Plutarch was born (c. 46 ce) in the tiny village of Chaeronea some twenty miles west of Thebes and lived there all his life. Particularly interested in Boeotian traditions, he gives us, in his life of Pelopidas, the only substantial account we have of the Sacred Band. In tracing its origins, Plutarch shows himself unhappy with the legend that Oedipus’ father, Laius, had been the first to introduce pederasty to Thebes. Instead, he ascribes its institution to judicious civic authorities “who first made this form of love customary among the Thebans.” Finding Theban youth unruly, they sought to “relax and mollify their strong and impetuous natures in earliest boyhood.” To this harmonious end, Plutarch tells us, they trained them in the music of the flute and “gave love a conspicuous place in the life of the palaestra, thus tempering the dispositions of the young men.”

Apparently Gorgidas was killed in some skirmish shortly after he founded the band, for the next year its leadership passed to Pelopidas, the young Theban who had led the exiles in their rebellion. Under siege by the Spartans, the Thebans at first hesitated to challenge their redoubtable enemies in a formal battle. But having unexpectedly come upon a Spartan force while reconnoitering at Tegyrae, Pelopidas daringly attacked. Though the Spartans outnumbered them two or three to one, his spirited leadership won the day. Plutarch thought the occasion remarkable: “For in all their wars with the Greeks and Barbarians, as it would seem, never before had Lacedaemonians in superior numbers been overpowered by an inferior force, nor indeed in a pitched battle where the forces were evenly matched. Hence they were of an irresistible courage, and when they came to close quarters their reputation sufficed to terrify their opponents, who also, on their part, thought themselves no match for Spartans with an equal force.”

Plutarch called the undefeated Pelopidas “valiant, laborious, passionate, and magnanimous.” But his fame was eventually overshadowed by his friend Epaminondas, whose life in several points contrasted with his own. Pelopidas was rich but modest in his style of living; Epaminondas, despite his renown, remained poor until the day of his death. Pelopidas married and had children; Epaminondas died unwed. At the time the Cadmeia was seized, Epaminondas was looked upon as a scholarly recluse. A devoted disciple of the Pythagorean sage Lysis of Tarentum, who had settled in Thebes, he divided his time between exercises in the gymnasium, lectures, and philosophy. Though he declined to participate in the assassination of the Spartanizing Thebans, once the revolt began he joined Pelopidas in re-establishing democracy. Early in their careers he bravely risked his life to save his wounded friend. Though they competed for glory on the same narrow stage, they were never rivals—an unusual circumstance among jealous Greeks. Epaminondas now developed into an orator and statesman as well as a soldier. Indeed, it was he who, at a peace conference in 371, challenged Sparta’s overlordship of the Peloponnesus. In retaliation the Spartan king Agesilaus angrily excluded Thebes from the peace treaty. Thebes hastily prepared for full-scale war.

The battle that tried the issue between Sparta and Thebes was, according to Pausanias, “the most famous [victory] ever won by Greeks over Greeks.” At Leuctra in 371, Epaminondas devised a new maneuver. He strengthened his left wing and, holding his right wing back, attacked the Spartans obliquely, throwing them into confusion. Then Pelopidas led the Sacred Band to the charge and smashed the squadron commanded by the Spartan co-king, Cleombrotus, who was killed on the field. Epaminondas’ lover Asopichus also won fame in the battle. He put up so formidable a fight that his shield, decorated with a representation of the trophy that the Thebans had erected at Leuctra, hung as a conspicuous offering at Delphi.

Their defeat at Leuctra destroyed at a blow the military supremacy the Spartans had enjoyed for centuries. In the wake of his victory, Epaminondas invaded the Peloponnesus, freed the provinces of Messenia and Arcadia from the Spartan yoke, and carried the war into the suburbs of the city; this was the first siege the Spartans had suffered during the six hundred years that the Dorians had occupied the Peloponnesus. Thebes was now the leading power in Greece.

The victorious Epaminondas acted with a magnanimity that contrasted with Spartan tyranny. He reestablished Messene as Messenia’s provincial capital and built a new city, Megalopolis, as a center of defense for the long-subjugated Arcadians. Though the hegemony of Greece now fell to Thebes, he declined to subject other cities to Theban domination and pillage, as the Spartans and Athenians had done earlier when they wielded power. No doubt he had the intelligence to realize that the economic and military resources of Thebes would not have sustained this enterprise. As a result he won a unique fame as a liberator rather than an exploiter.

Classical and modern historians alike have joined to salute Epaminondas as Greece’s greatest warrior-statesman. Diodorus Siculus, who wrote in the age of Julius Caesar, thought he “excelled . . . all Greeks in valor and shrewdness in the art of war.”84 Diodorus ranked him above Solon, Themistocles, Miltiades, Cimon, Pericles, and Agesilaus in generalship and reputation. “For in each of the others you would discover but one particular superiority as a claim to fame; in him, however, all qualities combined. For in strength of body and eloquence of speech, furthermore in elevation of mind, contempt of lucre, fairness, and, most of all, in courage and shrewdness in the art of war, he far surpassed them all.” Diodorus was a Sicilian Greek and perhaps partial, but his Latin contemporary, Cornelius Nepos, a man of a markedly different tradition, was if anything even more eulogistic. In his Book of the Great Commanders Nepos expresses concern that his readers will look askance at Epaminondas’ reputation as a musician and dancer but begs them to remember the Greeks esteemed such frivolities. He praises without reservation Epaminondas’ intellectual and athletic prowess and finds he meets Roman standards of temperance, prudence, and seriousness: he was “practised in war, of great personal courage and high spirit” and “such a lover of truth that he never lied even in jest.” One part of his character was quite unclassical (if we except Caesar): “He was self-controlled, kindly and forbearing to a surprising degree.” Nepos acclaims him as one of the few successful Greek military leaders whose integrity was equal to his talent. His contemporary Cicero agreed. Discussing the influence of culture and philosophy on such leaders as Peisistratus, Pericles, Timotheus, and Agesilaus in his De Oratore, Cicero hailed Epaminondas as “perhaps the most outstanding figure in Greek history.”

Theban pre-eminence lasted only as long as Epaminondas lived. Pelopidas, leading a force north to free the people of Thessaly from the vicious Alexander of Pheras, was killed in 364 in a rash attempt to engage the tyrant in single combat. The Thessalians mourned and granted their would-be liberator heroic honors. Alexander was subsequently dispatched by his wife: one of her grievances was that the tyrant had made her younger brother his bedmate. In the meantime, the weakening of Sparta left the Peloponnesus in turmoil. Rival factions in Arcadia summoned Thebes and Sparta to their aid, and Epaminondas once more found himself face to face with his old foes at Mantinea in 362. His brilliant strategy again routed the Spartans but at a fatal cost. Diodorus records the story of his death. Pierced by a spear, he was told he would die when the point was withdrawn from his chest. After conversing with his friends, he said, “It is time to die,” and ordered them to withdraw the spear.

Another lover of Epaminondas, Caphisodorus, also died at Mantinea; Plutarch tells us they were buried together on the battlefield. Pausanias, visiting Thebes in the second century after Christ, found these verses inscribed on a statue raised in Epaminondas’ honor:

"By my counsel was Sparta shorn of her glory,
And holy Messene received at last her children:
By the arms of Thebes was Megalopolis encircled with walls,
And all Greece won independence and freedom."

A few years before Pausanias’ visit, the Emperor Hadrian had inscribed his own tribute on another monument to the Theban which stood on the site of his death.

The Theban Sacred Band met its nemesis in Philip of Macedonia. In 367 when Philip was about fifteen, he had been sent as a hostage to Thebes and remained there for three years while Thebes was at the height of its prestige. Philip must have been stirred by the victories of Epaminondas and Pelopidas and fascinated by their new fighting methods, since we later find him revolutionizing military practice by adapting them to his own purposes. Dio Chrysostom credits Philip’s later diplomatic sagacity to the education he received from Epaminondas and makes him the eromenos of Pelopidas. Perhaps he was, or perhaps this is an honorific assumption in accordance with the Hellenic motto, “Cherchez l’amant,” for Plutarch says Philip lived not with Pelopidas but in the house of Pammenes, the general who was to assume leadership after the death of Epaminondas. As a military leader, Pammenes was an enthusiastic advocate of the discipline that formed the Sacred Band. Plutarch quotes (several times) Pammenes’ criticism of Homer’s Nestor for organizing regiments on tribal lines. “For tribesmen and clansmen make little account of tribesmen and clansmen in times of danger; whereas, a band that is held together by the friendship between lovers is indissoluble and not to be broken, since the lovers are ashamed to play the coward before their beloved, and the beloved before their lovers, and both stand firm to protect each other.”

On his return to Macedon, Philip put to use what he had learned at Thebes. When he came to the throne, he organized a strong professional army and, having secured his position in the north, managed by a series of adroit diplomatic maneuvers to extend his power into southern Greece with the intention of unifying the entire country under his command. When Thebes and Athens belatedly formed an alliance to oppose him, the crucial battle took place in 338 at Plutarch’s Chaeronea. The Sacred Band, still intact and undefeated, remained the prime troops of the Greek army, but this was their Götterdämmerung. True to their traditions, they stood their ground and were killed to the last man, so that the bodies of the three hundred lay strewn on the field. In the triumph of victory Philip came upon the remains of the regiment he had known in Thebes as an adolescent thirty years before. Plutarch describes his response: “And when, after the battle, Philip was surveying the dead, and stopped at the place where the three hundred were lying, all where they had faced the long spears of his phalanx, with their armour, and mingled one with another, he was amazed, and on learning that this was the band of lovers and beloved, burst into tears and said: ‘Perish miserably they who think that these men did or suffered aught disgraceful.’”

When the geographer Pausanias visited the site four hundred years later, he saw their memorial. In the empty fields, overlooking the common grave of the Thebans, before a row of cypress, stood a gigantic marble lion. It stands there still. Its present restoration was undertaken in 1902 by an organization called the Order of Chaeronea. (This was in fact a secret, quasi-Masonic society of English homosexuals, founded and led by the reformer George Cecil Ives.) Modern excavations of the battleground have recovered the remains of 254 men, almost the whole complement of the Sacred Band, laid out in seven rows.

Louis Crompton
Homosexuality and Civilization

 

Although I found this hilarious, does your first time really hurt THAT much? An inquiring and inexperienced mind would like to know...lol

 

South Africa to give free HIV treatment to all infected
South Africa to give free HIV treatment to all infected

JOHANNESBURG — South Africa said Thursday it will now provide free treatment to all people infected with HIV, regardless of the condition of their immune system. The country leads the world in infections.

Before the announcement by the country’s health department, people were eligible for free treatment based on a certain measure of their white blood cells, which fight infection.

“This new policy extends this to all people living with HIV,” the department said.

The change is based on World Health Organization guidelines adopted in late 2015 after it was found that treating those with HIV as early as possible improves their health and prolongs their life.

South Africa has one of the world’s largest treatment programs, with over 3.4 million people receiving HIV medication.

The United Nations has said some seven million people in South Africa were believed to be infected with HIV in 2105.

The health department said the change in policy would help increase life expectancy in the country, currently at 63 years, to at least 70 years by 2030.

It warned, however, that the change may lead to congestion and increased waiting times at health facilities.
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Now THIS is an African nation taking charge and being a leader in a great way. Taking away one of the many barriers(cost in this case) to treatment is huge. This will also help in reducing transmission if everyone can get on meds for free. This is an example that everyone*cough cough USA cough* should get behind. This is a great step toward true health care.

 

South Africa beams with Pride - ITWeb Africa

Excerpt:
South Africa's first LGBT video-on-demand (VoD) channel has launched, looking to provide content that unashamedly tells the stories of Africa's lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities.

PrideTV, which provides South Africa and the rest of Sub-Saharan Africa with an affordable library of LGBT movies and series, told ITWeb Africa it does not expect its focus to provide any problems in certain African markets, as the service is fully online and can be accessed privately from any smart device.

 

When The Black Co-hosts Aint Buying What you Selling On Beauty Standards

 

Gay soccer player Andrew Nagbe was hours from deportation when the Swedish Migration Board decided to reconsider his case based on safety concerns for gay people in Liberia
Sweden to reconsider deporting gay soccer player


Just hours before the scheduled deportation of Liberian soccer player Andrew Nagbe, the Swedish Migration Board has announced that it will reconsider his deportation due to "new" evidence pointing to a potential lack of safety for him in his native Liberia.

Nagbe was detained at Stockholm Pride three weeks ago. Last week an article in the Swedish publication Dagens Nyheter, Nagbe made the claims that he would be jailed, beaten and raped in prison upon his return to Africa. Homosexual sex is illegal in Liberia and carries a sentence of up to a year in prison and a $1,000 fine.


The news today from Dagens Nyheter is positive for Nagbe's chances of staying in Sweden:

The reason why the Swedish Migration Board stopped the deportation at the very last moment is because the new documents have been received in the gay football player's favor - which could ultimately give the 22-year-old a residence permit.

"The first is that his case has received international attention, including the BBC, and that his sexual orientation is now even better known in Liberia. Since then UNHCR (UN Refugee Agency) has been informed about this and gone in with an opinion to Andrew's advantage," said Stig-Åke Petersson.

Some Liberians have taken to Twitter and other social media claiming that Nagbe's fears are unfounded, while other have said sending him back to Liberia now that he is a well-known gay person is sending him to "his early grave."

 

While enjoying my time in the Nation's capitol away from the Murder Capital, and hearing Sheryl Crow playing over and over in my head and contemplating leaving Rahm Emanuel forever in the Midwest rust and dust, I picked up the free LGBT mags at one of the Metro stops. Metro Weekly was decent enough, with no pretensions. To my outsider eyes, it seems to basically be a LGBT version of the Parade insert you used to find in so many Sunday newspapers around the country, with a focus on entertainment and local nightlife. Ricky Martin's on the cover, there seems to be a diverse covering of issues across age and ethnic lines, and how can I diss a mainstream gay/lesbian mag that gives a shout out to Biz Markie?

Then there's the other, more well know LGBT rag in the city, The Blade. I've know about it for some time and have even read some articles from afar across cyberspace. What caught my attention was this week's cover story "They're Cowards: Why Male Pro Athletes Refuse to Come Out of the Closet." A nice, provocative article title for sure. However, perusing the content and make-up of this issue of the Blade, it seems pretty high and mighty for the elite, white and black bougie gay types of D.C. to call those professional athletes that may be out there "cowards," especially when many of them, particularly black and Latino, have to navigate all sorts of social and professional situations that upper middle-class Georgetown types in D.C. don't have to worry about.

CA squad members and readers are familiar with the problems that gay athletes from many countries have faced at this year's Rio Olympics, especially if they are from nations that are openly hostile or violent towards LGBT people. Domestically, the crash-and-burn experiences of Michael Sam, Jason Collins, and Derrick Gordon run counter to the Blade's legalistic narrative of "all the major franchises have diversity clauses." In law, we use the phrases de jure and de facto. De jure refers to the law as written; e.g. drug laws for traffickers. De facto refers to the law as practiced in real life; e.g. black and working class white and Latino males getting tougher and longer sentences than middle and upper class males for similar drug infractions.

Surely, the snoots at the Blade can't be so out-of-touch that they have the nerve to call anyone still in the closet in major league sports "cowards," when the lilywhite asses of the Blade's editorial staff and writers don't have to deal with the media, social, and most of all, financial repercussions of coming out? One of the interviewees is former NFL payer Wade Davis. I know that Wade Davis didn't write the headline nor is he responsible for how his interview quotes and comments are inserted into a story. But considering that Davis pretty much stayed in the closet the whole time he was in the NFL, is he really someone the Blade's writers should be dropping out there as some type of example of "openness in pro sports"?

Feel free to read the article and come to your own conclusion. For me, I'll just keep stepping and ignore the snooty-assed, useless gay elite as I got my own old D.C. groove to dust off and dig out of storage

 

Since I'm, for all intents and purposes, cut off from the goings on of the world, I had no clue this had even gone down. I admittedly haven't watched the Olympics since the 90's, but I caught wind of this on a YouTube channel I watch frequently...

Ryan Lochte faces possible indictment for bogus police report

I also didn't know that they basically drew and quartered Gabby Douglas because she didn't put her hand over her heart, and doesn't smile enough but this "dumb jock" vandalizes property and lies about some serious shit and gets (as of yet) a slap on the wrist?? Really, dude!!?? Ok, by now we ALL know what this shit is about, but DAMN, not only does the "equality" chasm get wider and wider, but they makin' it SO F#$KIN obvious with each case. SMH AND the crazy shit is this dude basically SHIT on his teammates. I can't anymore...going back into my cave....

 

So Pinterest just sent me an email suggesting that I might like this recent Pin that I missed...



Dammit Gina! That algorithm knows my tastes so well!

I had to stop logging into Tumblr for the same reason...would be scrolling through a stream of Thirst Traps for days if I didn't.

Are any of you regulars on Tumblr or Pinterest and following any of the Male Appreciation Streams on there?


One of my favs is beardedandblack on Tumblr... I know that @SB3 threw shade mocked @mojoreece for merely mentioning that he liked a guy with a beard, so that Tumblr may not be for everyone...

Another non-pornographic Tumblr I dig is MISTER Y. || INFINITE POSSIBILITIES He's still NSFW but rarely goes full nudity.

 

Twenty-Four-year-old Derrick Gordon, the first openly gay Division I NCAA player, has announced that instead of pursuing a career in the NBA, he will train as a firefighter in San Francisco where he currently resides. An enormously positive spirited young man, we wish the best for him in whatever endeavor he pursues.

The news came on his social media accounts late last month with the statement:

"I’ve had an amazing basketball career and want to thank everybody who has always been there supporting me every step on the way…But I’m making a change in my career…I will now be working towards becoming a San Francisco Firefighter!! I’m excited about this and looking forward to having a long career!!"​

​

Just last March, Gordon played for Seton Hall University as a graduate transfer from UMass. His 6th-seeded Seton Hall Pirates were eliminated in the first round of the NCAA March Madness tournament in a 68-52 upset by 11th-seeded Gonzaga. Regardless, Derrick Gordon made history again by becoming the first openly gay player in the history of the tournament.

This decision to become a firefighter came as a big surprise to fans of the young athlete who, up until then, had consistently posted updates about his dream to become an NBA player. Four months ago, Gordon announced his move to San Fransisco and said the following:

"San Francisco in 5 days!! Ready to get out there and start pursuing my dreams to the NBA!! #Blessed"
​

​

So what happened between then and now?

Most namely, the 2016 NBA Draft happened…and, unlike NFL draftee Michael Sam, Derrick Gordon’s name had not been called by a team.

​

While not being selected was disappointing, Gordon still seemed positive and still hopeful. He continued to train and workout 3 times a day to be ready if another opportunity came.

​

He didn’t have to wait long, just one month later he was selected to play before scouts for overseas teams at the Las Vegas Combine.

I can say at the age of 24 I been blessed with alot in my life but alot of hardwork has come with it,and that’s one of the reasons I always smile…Now I have another huge opportunity this weekend at the Las Vegas Combine to show every scout what I can do…The wait is long over!!…Time to handle business!
​

​

On July 17th, Gordon announced that the results from the Las Vegas Combine, where he had performed very well, would soon be coming:

​

The very next day, Gordon abruptly announced his retirement from basketball altogether.

​

So what happened?

Usually very transparent with his followers, Gordon has been unusually silent not only on what the results of the Combine were, but also why he suddenly decided to pursue an entirely different career. How long had he been thinking about this? Was this always his backup plan? Did he give up too soon?

Sure, we could probably just request an interview and ask him (and we likely will still try in the future)…but its more interesting to speculate for now, and the answers are likely self explanatory.

The clues are provided in the subtext of Gordon’s own word. On May 12th, over a month before the NBA Draft, Gordon tweeted this:

​

Again, notice how consistently positive this dope young man is at all times, even in the face of bad news.

But then he started posting vague messages like:

- “Everything happens for a reason!” – May 18th

- “I will never change of being the person that I am…I am who I am…And I’m happy with who I am…” – May 21st

- “Only control what you can control…Everything happens for a reason..The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited or erased; it can only be accepted.” – May 27th
​

Had Derrick heard whispers that his decision to publicly announce his sexuality had already quashed his dream to play in the NBA? The supposedly aggressively gay-tolerant NBA? The same pro-LGBTQ NBA that moved the 2017 All-Star Game from North Carolina due to its’ anti-Transgender bathroom laws?

It appears very possible.

A couple nights before the NBA Draft, Gordon tweeted this:

​

Wow. If this is the case, I definitely feel for the young man. To work so hard for something and be totally looked over due to something as positive as who you love. On top of that, in coming Out, Derrick Gordon has likely helped more people than he would have in becoming a random 10th man on an NBA team. As recently as April 2016 he said this:

​

From the first time I saw his coming out video, I’ve been impressed and supportive of Derrick Gordon. As I shared back in 2014, I was emotionally affected by his story and how similar it was to my own in some ways. A part of me is even slightly envious of him as well. He’s far more progressed and open with his sexuality than I was at his age…and in many ways, more than I am even at my current age.

This (speculated) story of his NBA dream ending is (possible) evidence that his decision to come Out did not come without major consequences. But it appears that he’s taking it all with stride, enjoying his youth and social life, and is looking forward, not backwards with the support of his mother, friends and thousands of fans/supporters.

In his own words, days after deciding to become a firefighter:

“At the end of the day I can say I have NO REGRETS!!”
​

​

 

Props to @ControlledXaos for creating WTCA V2 after my lil bitch tantrum from the first volume. After a final review from a panel of secret judges, the results are in:

Winner of V2.0 is...
@Tyroc (Most entries, very nice pics)


@KritiKal Analysis (best dessert)

@SB3 (most humorous entry)

Honorable mentions:
@cypher21
@NikR
@ControlledXaos

Alright...let the games begin for Where the Cooks At Volume 3

 

You see a pic of a hot dude but you're more interested in the cabinets, back splash and counter tops because you already got a dude at home...

 

In the documentary “Shape Up,” gay filmmaker Derrick L. Middleton explores an oft ignored issue in the Black community, homophobia and hyper-masculinity in barbershops. This documentary has not only been winning film festivals, it even had its’ premiere at the White House last month.

Back when I used to get regular professional haircuts, I often heard the Black barbers make casual homophobic jokes and comments. They seem either oblivious to the possibility that gay men were in the shop waiting for haircuts, or they just didn’t care.



In an interview with OUT Magazine about the film, director Derrick L. Middleton added:

“No matter what black neighborhood you go to, any black neighborhood, you’re going to find two things—a church and a barbershop,” he says. “And the barbershop for black males is about as sacred as the church. It’s one of the only safe spaces for black men today, where they can talk about politics or sports and speak completely openly. But these same black men just don’t realize they have gay men in those spaces—that we’ve always been in those spaces. We’ve been there in silence, and we want to be a part of this space as well.”

No word on when the full documentary will be released to the general public, but for now you can view the trailer here:

​

POSTER:​

SCREENSHOTS:​

Read the whole post here.

 

Labels are important. They help us. They can protect us. Labels tell you that there are baked beans in the tin you’re holding; labels warn us not to wash our merino sweater above 30 degrees. We trust labels, because without them, we’d get it wrong. But sometimes, labels don’t work – they are derogatory or incorrect or unwelcome. One part of society where labels are changing is within sexuality and gender. As the landscape expands from straight/gay and man/woman to include bisexuality, queerness and trans people, among others, many are finding themselves moving away from the specific, restrictive pigeonholing a label can bring and merely tagging themselves “Me”.

But what happens when you’re happy with the label society has assigned you, but quite fancy trying out something someone like you doesn’t normally do, or what if you start to travel down one path, only to find you prefer another, and want to change course and stay on it for ever? Do you have to re-label yourself? Does it mean you’re not who you thought you were? Is it time to mute whichever episode of Stranger Things you’re watching, stand up, tell the room you dreamt another man’s erection touched you and have an identity crisis? In short: if you’re straight but have sex with another guy, does it make you gay?


It rather depends on what you think being gay means. For most people, ask what "gay" means to them and, if we’re talking about guys, they’ll say a man who has sex with other men. And this, of course, is a huge part of being gay. But the reduction of gayness to be nothing more than just sex can not only be counter-productive – as in, uptight straight guys are missing out on something quite spectacular – and, frankly, homophobic, but it’s also plain wrong.


You know when you see a kid acting or talking a certain way and you think, “they’re gay” or “they’ll be gay when they’re older” – how do you explain that? They don’t even know what sex is yet, straight or gay. The feelings "gay" children have and the character traits they display can’t be boiled down to some potential gay sex they may or may not be having 10 or 15 years down the line – that’s gayness right there, already in play. Whether you believe in nature or nurture or any other theory, there’s more to being gay than just shagging another guy.

So if we remove the label of "gay" from sex acts we traditionally assume are only the domain of gay men, does this mean you can take part in them and still be straight? Where do we draw the line? Getting a blow job from a guy, for example, is something a lot more straight men have experienced than the stony faces down at the Dog and Gun might have you believe. Is it less gay if there’s no mutual contact of genitals? Because it’s passive? A service, almost?

James, 28, says he regularly got blowjobs from a gay pal in his teens, but he doesn’t consider himself gay. “Me and my mate would fool around but mainly he would do it to me,” he explains. “I wasn’t as interested in his cock as he was in mine, but I think we both got something out of it.” If there’s one thing hormone-frazzled 17-year-old boys aren’t getting anywhere near enough of as they want, it’s oral sex. “I didn’t have a girlfriend yet and my mate was just discovering his sexuality and wanted to try. I always made it clear we weren’t in a relationship and that nobody should know. But I didn’t feel guilty and I think he was cool with it.”


You could argue that there was an element of exploitation to James’s relationship with his mate. The friend was finding his feet with his sexuality and James was the willing guinea pig – as long as nobody found out – but if you’re encouraging a gay man to perform fellatio on you, aren’t you gay? “I’ve never been with a man since and I’m happily married now. I doubt I’d do it again as that would mean being unfaithful, but I consider myself straight. It’s fine to experiment; it’s a big part of finding out who you are.”


And what about when contact with another man happens as part of your relationship? Mark, a 28-year-old investment banker had already had one skirmish with a gay guy when his colleague’s boyfriend came on to him in a club bathroom and went down on him – real life really is stranger than soap opera – but his second time was a different matter altogether. His girlfriend was there.


“I was in the couples room at Torture Garden [a fetish club in London] and a stranger gave me a blowjob,” Mark explains. “I was there with my girlfriend at the time and we’d both got pretty wild.”

So why stop at a blowjob and not take it further? When in Rome, and all that. “I just didn’t really feel the desire to f*** him. I suppose it’s possible I might go further one day but I think it’s very unlikely. I almost never think men are attractive.”

But if you’re involving a third person in your hitherto straight sex life, does this mean either you or your partner is bisexual? For Mark, it’s not a concern. “Why do I continue to identify as straight? I suppose it’s because I couldn’t imagine myself having a relationship with a man. In the same way I have gay friends who’ve f***ed women, but would never identify as bi, or worry they’re straight.

“I think that ‘being gay’ or ‘being straight’ is about much more than some sexual contact.”


So a BJ is a BJ, but what about when things go further? Is the threshold for gayness actual penetration? Surely, if you’re having anal sex with a man, you’re gay, no? That’s what the guys in the locker room would say, right?

Thinking about having sex with a man isn’t a sign you’re gay yourself, no more than idly imaging pushing your evil boss under a truck means you’re a latent homicidal maniac. Sometimes, though, even if you’ve never imagined it, when the opportunity presents itself, a primal instinct takes over, as videographer Zak, 25, discovered.

“I'd never really thought about being bi or gay, he explains. “I'd only ever been with girls and had never really been sexually attracted to any guys.

“When I was 20 a load of our sixth form year got together for a party. George was a guy from my year I’d known fairly well but never been close to. We were both fairly drunk and I remember just feeling happy to see him for the first time in ages and for some reason, knowing he was gay, I kissed him rather than hugging him. We chatted for a bit and then we both carried on with the night – not really thinking much about it.”

So far, so straight – no need to adjust any labels so far. Everyone is as they should be.

Zak continues: “Later on, we were both alone on the landing and he kissed me again. This time, for some reason, I didn't really stop him and before long we were fully making out – we snuck into one of the bedrooms and one thing led to another.”

But was this a harrowing experience? Was there much soul-searching or did Zak just have a blast?

“I did enjoy myself. I suppose I'm quite a sexually liberal person and didn't really think of it as being 'gay', it was just was fun and at the time I was enjoying it.”

The ability to distance oneself from any gayness of a sex act perhaps comes from how it plays out. Who shags who, who touches what – that kind of thing. Like James getting a BJ from his pal, Zak’s mate was also providing a service of sorts, but Zak was an active participant. “We had sex, both oral and anal,” says Zak. “I ‘topped' [the other guy played a passive role and ‘received’], I don't think I’d have been comfortable with it the other way around.”

It’s not uncommon for straight men who have sex with another man to experience "gay panic" and feel guilty about what they’ve done and what it means. This can, on occasion, lead to persecution of, or violence against the other guy, whether he’s gay or also straight. But Zak remains unfazed about the experience.

“I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed,” he says. “I still identify as straight and don't think I’d initiate something with a bloke, but put in the same situation I could see myself doing it again.”

Some guys might worry that they were gay – and if you’re wondering why anyone would "worry" about such a thing, do take a moment to research how gay men and women are treated across the world – but Zak takes a more relaxed approach.

“One of my uni friends described himself as 'hetero-flexible' and I reckon that's probably where I am at too,” says Zak. “I don't think repeating it would make me ‘gay'. I'm not attracted to them but I can appreciate men who are attractive. In the same way I’ve slept with women in the past who I don't think I was really attracted to, sometimes sex is just sex and it's fun.”

And Zak’s right, sex is just sex. It’s common for gay people, when they first come out, to say their sexuality doesn’t define them, that there’s more to them than simply being gay. It’s all part of the process of recognising your sexual orientation and assert yourself as an individual, not part of some flock or movement. It’s the vestigial feelings of shame that coming out is supposed to eradicate, hanging on for dear life. “I’m not like the others,” they think. Most of us get over it eventually and reconcile with the fact we’re gay, but this refusal to define can, in some cases, be a positive thing – a defiance of society’s boring old norms. As long as it’s used constructively and positively, and not homophobically of course.

You as an individual get to decide how you label your sexuality, if at all. As long as nobody’s feelings are getting screwed over, you’re free to have sex with men or women at will and still call yourself straight.

But it’s worth acknowledging that you’re merely a tourist and all the privilege this gives you. You get all the pluses of gay sex – and they are pluses, admit it, you love it – but, as long it’s kept on the downlow, none of the prejudice and pressures the LGBT community faces apply to you. You get to dip in, and out, with little or none of the comeback.

Labels inform and warn and categorise, but they also help us come to terms with who we are. A label can be something to cling to, to identify with, to make us feel safe, to tell the world what we’re about.


Avoiding them altogether is brave, choosing one and then flouting the conventions of it could be braver still, but living with a label 24/7 and taking all the consequences it throws at you is perhaps the bravest path of all. And those repercussions can be noxious: LGBT people are discriminated against, mocked, beaten and murdered, all for doing things you get to do without question. Just for being.

Having sex with a man doesn’t mean you’re gay, definitely not. You get to be who you want to be. But don’t forget the sacrifices your gay brothers make on a daily basis so you can have that freedom to choose. You get to go back to your privileged status in the world – we can only be us.

"Gay" sex acts aren’t something to be ashamed of; if you’re man enough to do it and still call yourself straight, be man enough to talk about it. Don’t let it be a dirty little secret; own your sexuality – whatever it may be – with pride.

Having sex with a man doesn't make you gay

 

This particular game will be played in 6 rounds lasting 30 minutes each.

 

It took me 27 years to look after my body.

I’ve done some stupid crap to my body. Nothing too outrageous, but I’ve drunk my way through more Bowler’s Run than any human being should. It’s nasty wine that costs literally $3 a bottle. It tastes like regrets.

I worked at McDonalds' for 5 years, 4 days a week, and ate a minimum of a double cheeseburger meal, 4 cokes and a sausage mcmuffin every shift. I’ve smoked, eaten like crap and rarely worked out in any meaningful way.

When I first started out as a creative and an entrepreneur, I was popping No Doz pills like tic tacs. They’re tablets that are supposed to keep you awake and alert, and I thought I needed them to get through 8 hour studio sessions recording music and working on my business until 4 AM. Never mind that the side effects were anxiety, nervousness, irritability and depression.

In general terms, I have always been very far from being a fitness fan. You know the guys who post gym selfies and love working out? Yeah, that’s not your boy Jon. Over the past 27 years, I can honestly say that I’ve treated my body as the opposite of a temple.
I used to think it didn’t really matter. I suppose a part of me always thought that sooner or later my life would magically change and I’d become healthy, and before that happened I was on a free pass to do whatever the hell I wanted to my body. I couldn’t see how it mattered. I couldn’t see how it could affect me if I wanted to eat a little more and drink a little more.

Looking back on it, it seems clear that it was affecting me in so many different ways. I was unproductive, prone to feeling exhausted all the time. I was often depressed and listless. I would swing between not being able to sleep more than 3 hours a week, and not having the energy to get out of bed in the morning.

It took me 27 years to get to a point where I started making positive decisions. It took me 27 years to start looking after my body.
I was in so many habits that I was barely living a few hours of my day with my brain switched on, it was all based on action/reaction. I started making small changes, at first. Trying to cut down on the soda, trying to drink less, being more conscious of my choices around what I put into my body. I finally picked up a Fitbit and began working on being a little healthier every day. Even those minor adjustments were incredibly difficult.

But the scary part was, I could feel almost an instant change. Some of it was mental — being aware of my decisions, and knowing I was making better ones, had an instantly motivating effect on me. I still struggled to keep to any commitments I’d made to my health, and I still fell down from time to time, but it was the beginning of my changes.

From there, it’s been a process of trying to add a new, healthier element to my life or cut out one negative element every week. I’ve been winding down on my junk food, I’ve stopped keeping beers in my fridge, I’ve been hitting the gym for 30 minutes a day.

I know I’m supposed to enjoy working out, but I hate it. I hate every part of it, every minute of it, and I make myself do it anyway, because I’m seeing results. I’m not trying to change my health around because I want to look a certain way, I’m happy being pretty average and not turning heads on the beach. Looking hot doesn’t appear on my list of goals.

My goal has been to feel like I can take on my days without go to pieces, and I’m getting there.

I’m sick of feeling tired and wasted and like everything is too much to handle. And day by day, that feeling is slipping away. All I want is to feel better. To feel more alive, and in control, and focused, and productive. To feel like I’m not going to keel over and die before I’m 30.


I think I’ve always put barriers up, around my health, because I’ve believed that only people who are incredibly toned and hot, posing with green smoothies can be healthy. That’s not even remotely true. But it’s an easy trap to fall into.

I wouldn’t be surprised if there are a lot more people like me out there. We’re not trying to be health gurus, and we’re living lives that are full of tough, day to day shit that we have to get through. We’re busy with our careers, kids, our responsibilities, our businesses, our art…there’s always a list.
When we see people who are motivated about their health, who are able to show lives full of smoothie bowls and kale, we’re not motivated by it. We’re kind of intimidated and demoralized, because it seems so unattainable.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize though. None of that shit matters, none of the stuff we’re told to think about, when it comes to our health, has any weight. What does matter is the way our bodies interact with our emotions, and the effect that our health will have on our lives in the future.

Because we don’t need to get up at the crack of dawn and do a million sit ups. We don’t have to be hot on Instagram, or be anyone’s #goals. If someone tells you that, tell ’em to fuck off. We just have to be healthy.

This cartoon from one of my favorite artists sums it up:



(Sarah Andersen is an incredible and utterly hilarious cartoonist who is a talented being of awesomeness.)
I’ve got a long way ahead of me before I can get my health and my body back on track. Correcting my patterns is going to be tough, but I believe I can stick to it. Because I’ve started to understand that my success and survival as a blogger, as a writer, as an entrepreneur — it doesn’t have anything to do with how I look. But it does depend on me being healthy enough to handle it.

Original Post on Medium Here:

 

This is a very nice and uplifting news clip from the BBC about a gay radio station in South Africa. It looks like it is a mix of different men and women, white, black, muslim trying to fight homophobia and it is a cool clip and something good for that area(when so much recently coming from Africa regarding gay stuff has not been so great). Check it out!

South Africa's gay radio station makes waves - BBC News

 

THIS TRACK GOES HARD!

I feel like I’ve been transported to a listening island full of nothing but MC’s and audiophiliac producers who’ve baptize my ears in hip-hop-beat-dopeness. My hip hop soul wells have been replenished after listening to this track. There is no doubt that B. Slade lays it down.

This absolutely can be labeled as a “Black Lives Matter, anti police brutality” song but the narrative presented here is nothing new. Let’s just say if I were to label it an activist song then I could also easily put it in the category of Marvin Gaye’s Inner City Blues or Nas’ Black Zombies. No I’m not necessarily attempting to compare B. Slade to these masters but talent is talent and B. Slade is the truth on #BLACKBLOOD with lines like “Lord I don’t wanna be another hashtag I don’t wanna die”.

When the beat drops at :25 and then that NOTE at :37 and then the angry lyricism at 3:09 by Omega Mythologist, THEN the beat completely flips at the 3:45 mark…OMG. Then at 4:22 the beat kinda flips again. B. Slade brought it. The production had me like…



Okay, enough of my platitudes. Take a listen to #BLACKBLOOD for yourself.


If Black Lives Matter was established by Lesbian women and Gay Black men, this song needs to be shared and promoted in their circles being that an openly gay ex-super star gospel singer wrote, produced and provided vocals for #BLACKBLOOD.

LGBT hip hop heads need to acknowledge this is the pinnacle of LGBT hip hop for 2016. This is perfection. This is the bar that needs to be reached. Also muthafuckas, it’s July, so there may be a chance but…

You Shall Not Pass!

This shit here needs to be an anthem and it easily surpasses non LGBT hip hop in its overall delivery and mastery. If this track was let loose by Kanye or Kendrick; folks would lose their collective minds and this would be submitted to the halls of an instant hip hop classic tracks.

This song; the production and arrangement, the rap segment toward the end, this is stellar. B. Slade’s talents with years of experience in the music industry are undeniable here. Sorry, but I thought and was foolishly under the impression that this is what Frank Ocean was gonna be like. If B. Slade produced a rap, hip hop album full of tracks on this level, he would break the internet and force the public to acknowledge LGBT hip hop artists and their influence on the culture and genre. He would have me like…



If you’re an LGBT hip hop head and you don’t add this to your listening collection; your card needs to be pulled and placed under review.

Again…IF this was Drake, Kanye, J. Cole, or Kendrick, this track would be topping the charts. Why, because THIS SHIT IS FIRE! For more awesomeness, check out the lyrics below while listening to the track.
*************************************************************
Pull him over to the side
This suspect’s nose is way too wide
That’s when I saw them flashing lights
But I’m a trained & disciplined black samurai
Lord cover all the children
Lord cover all the women

Then my black heart start beat, beating like this like this
Lord please help me make it back home safely to my family tonight
Oh Jesus be a bullet proof vest
Lord I don’t wanna be another hashtag I don’t wanna die

Take deep breaths, take deep breaths
Put your hands on the steering wheel
Put em both in the center make sure they see em
Think twice don’t say nothing

We don’t want no black blood
We don’t wanna see nobody bathing in the black blood
We don’t want no black blood
We don’t wanna see nobody bathing in the black blood

Black blood was dripping from his head
Black blood was dripping from his neck
Well is he dead yet? Let me check…
Wait he’s still wiggling his leg

Traumatized I cried that night
I’d never seen a black man die in front of my eyes
Or at least not, right in front of my face
Lord God Almighty we all need more grace

Then my black heart start beat, beating like this like this
Lord please help me make it back home safely to my family tonight
Oh Jesus be a bullet proof vest
Lord I don’t wanna a be another hashtag I don’t wanna die

Take deep breaths take deep breaths
Put your hands on the steering wheel
Put em both in the center make sure they see em
Think twice don’t say nothing

We don’t want no black blood
We don’t wanna see nobody bathing in the black blood
We don’t want no black blood
We don’t wanna see nobody bathing in the black blood

I suggest you look down
Sabotage, several rusty nails on the ground.
Won’t stop till all respected.
Just laws passed Down by my ancestors.
No matter what’s drawn this
Is the dawn of “No Weapon”.
Crack the sky and saw Gods reflection.
Watch the gun in your hand start melting.
Right to remain silent stop speaking.
Unless you’re asking forgiveness for EVERY beating.
Release Him
Calling on ALL sources.
You’ve seen the hellish acts by crooked law enforcement.
If God you trust then stand with US and join forces.
Brown blood too and
Those they don’t show on the news.
Scum heretics we are the counter terrorist.
And this will reach the capital.
Punishment, if you try to hold us down
By another rope, chains, zip ties, tazers, peppers,
Aiming assault weapons slang word deception.
All Blood is precious
All Blood connects to Love
Without Love we’re all infected!!!
Deadly is dope meet the antidote
And our perfection courts adjourned
I hope you learned your lesson
If not then it’s your turn to strip naked

Credits: released July 23, 2016
Produced Arranged Written & Composed by B.SLADE™
Rap Written and Performed by OMEGA MYTHOLOGIST

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I was reading an article on Adam 4 Adam about older men dating younger men. I wasn’t trying to feel what that article had to say, as I believe in staying in my own dating sandbox, plus/minus a few years. I give equal “side eye” to black men who whine about white guys putting filters for white only in Grinder, Scruff and other apps, just as I do to older guys complaining about not being seen as viable by younger guys. This doesn’t change the fact that gay folk can have ridiculous notions about age and aging. Human beings naturally congregate with like human beings, by age, race, interests, etc. Get over it. But the article DID get me thinking about how older (i.e. Over 40) gay/bi men can and should interact with younger men. Steel sharpens steel; men should help sharpen other men.

There have to be places for gay/bi men to come together that don’t necessarily involve hookups. This is part of the reason why I joined Cypher Avenue’s message forums; for conversation and exchange of ideas. Many young gay men get this experience through personal or professional associations. I know quite a few older gay/bi brothers (very often closeted) that belong to Black Greek fraternities that mentor younger members, both sides knowing of their sexual orientation. And we all know religious or other professional men’s conventions and gatherings that—behind the scenes and in between sessions and seminars—turn into hookups, and DL parties and other offline gatherings.

But what about those younger gay/bi men who don’t belong to some fraternity, organization, or other professional association where they can interact with older men who can be professional, business, cultural or spiritual mentors without some ulterior or sexual “Daddy” motives involved? Where does the young, geeky or artsy or nerdy gay black male go for some advice for advice or encouragement, particularly if they don’t live in a big city; come from an impoverished background with no male figures; or only have access to like-minded individuals over the Internet? Having been that nerdy, arty, geeky kid that didn’t belong to a college fraternity or have some black professional mentor or role model take me under his wing, I had to go through life alone and figure out my way and successes through trial and error, being the “first black guy,” that “one black guy” or the “fly in the buttermilk” in many educational or professional settings.

As I’ve told my own nephews, I don’t mind having made mistakes in life as long as those who come after me learn from them and don’t repeat them. That’s why I’m quick with “the daps” and encouragement for all the younger members on the message forums who are entering their chosen professions, finishing school, getting out and seeing the world. When I was in my 20s, there were barely any sites like Cypher Avenue. Yeah, there were the USENET boards, AOL chat rooms, etc. in the 90s but they didn’t have the immediate impact of today’s social media tools. But I’m a firm believer in the face-to-face. Online communication is great but sometimes the Internet can flatten the dimensionality of interaction.

QUESTION: How should and in what better ways can older gay men (those 40 and older), particularly older black gay men, mentor younger gay men? Scholarships? Organizations? Personal relationships?







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