Hoe Phase or Nah???

I say go for it...especially if sex isn't involved...If I had the time I would do it myself.

 

It's importatnt to figure out what you like and which qualities mesh well with you.Sometimes you see your weak points too.Maybe a hoe phase isn't what you need,but you definitely gotta mingle.

 

IMO, I think you have one aspect that going for you that helps out: You are talkative. Or at least I think you are. That will go a long way. Meeting and talking to different guys and types of guys from different backgrounds and walks of life...you'll eventually find out what you can and can not deal with in a mate and also what you really like and don't. What types of guys go well with your personality and the ones who don't.

Getting to know people is what it is all about. That's mainly what dating is, just getting to know someone who you may eventually see naked. You won't be the 'oldest' virgin so don't even worry about that. Just meet guys and get to know them. There will be many bad dates, but don't concentrate on the negative. Just a forewarning.

I think as far as when you get to the point where you are ready for a relationship, try to get that 'friendly' type of relationship going. Nothing is better than to be able to laugh at the same jokes and not be lovely dovey 100% of the time. Relationships should be fun! Not work. For example, whatever your goof ball moments are, your intended should be able to enjoy you at those times too all while you feel comfortable with them seeing you like that. That's charming IMO.

Always be yourself and don't worry about trying to become what you THINK someone else will like.

 

You don't have to limit your self to just clubs either.

The Gays LOVE festivals and stuff like that. Not sure if Miami has regular events at the parks but there's usually always something here at Piedmont every other weekend though with summer winding down, there's less of that until spring. Basically, anywhere/outdoor where you can people watch, especially in major city like Miami should be good to meet people.

Though I understand about needing to feel comfortable around people before hitting the 'talkative' switch.

 

No they don't have to be just gay themed events. Just any place where there's a lot of people, usually there will be some same sex oriented types going. Though, I can understand not wanting to approach guys if you are not at a specific gay event.

 

Awww young one...lol Early this year I did 90 Days of serial dating. While I met some great guys. I learned a lot of things about myself in the process. I suggest you give yourself 90days of going in. It doesn't mean always sexual. Some people used Jack'd and other apps/sites to find dudes. I did it organically. Ultimately what you should be doing in this little 90 Day exercise: 1) Is learning the difference between a fuck, a cuddle buddy and and relationship. 2) likes and dislikes 3) and not to be falling can posting pics talking about I got a man ya'll HEEYYYYYYYY. If after 90 Days the dudes last see where it goes from there.

 

So what I am mean is just live your life. And when you see somebody you like, follow the wise words of @Nick Delmacy "Close mouths don't get fed" Go after them. Some people try so hard instead of just living their life homie. Just be authentically you and have fun meeting people and when you feel a spark, light a fucking match!

 

Well, I'm in my Hoe Phase now...lol. Seriously though, I think that we are alike in many ways. My gaydar sucks as well, I do have things that I look for in potentials - even friends, and sometimes I feel like I don't have time to do much given my hectic teaching schedule, hella meetings, and my own graduate work. A couple of things that I have learned are these:

1. Make time for what you WANT to do. We all have obligations that we have to meet, but good planning and effective organization of your schedule can yield some very positive results.

2. Don't be afraid to meet people - especially if they are not in your immediate area. When I am in my own area/hometown, I am a little more cautious of who I meet because the community is sooo small. Meeting people means holding conversations with people (either online or in person), going to restaurants or meeting in public spaces, etc.

3. Don't be afraid to not like what you don't like. I'm a blunt, straight forward type dude, but I never intentionally set out to hurt anyone. Sometimes it's hard to reject some people because they are not what I like or are attracted to.

4. Try new things. You are in your 20's, now is the time to make a few minor mistakes so that when you get older, you have that function already designated on your utility belt and know how it works. Random sex was something I would never have thought about, but once I got into it a bit more - ALWAYS protected though - it didn't seem so scary because I am never reckless with it. I meet a lot of dudes, but I don't have sex with all of them. I'm not saying you should go out and do that...ease into things at your own pace. Sometimes I just feel like I have a lot of catching up to do because I started so late...lol.

 

I wish someone had told me that. Many times, I would end up dealing with people who I did not like OR doing the cop out fadeaway and not answering the phone or returning texts when I should have just said "You cool and all but...we can't be friends/date/fuck/."