Confidence. A personality trait that doesn't always get its due in the dating game.

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Sean P, Feb 14, 2016.

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  1. Sean P

    Sean P
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    As I've emerged from the shadows over the last 10 days or so and started reading and responding to more threads and posts, one trait that many of the squad members' exhibit is any easy confidence and self-assured manner. I find self-confidence very attractive. That got me thinking.

    I am a fairly self-confident guy. It's not arrogance, hubris or even an over the top personality. I am simply comfortable in my own skin. I find that this trait has served me well in the friend zone. It hasn't always been a winner in the dating world, however. In the dating world, for me at least, a show of confidence has sometimes led potential candidates to be controlling (or at least make an attempt to be controlling), which invariably kills the party with a quickness.

    For you, when considering potential candidates for dating, is self-confidence likely to draw you in, serve as a personal challenge to harness it, or cause you to turn tail and run in the opposite direction?
     
    #1 Sean P, Feb 14, 2016
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  2. Jaa

    Jaa
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    Self-confidence that doesn't seem like arrogance or cockiness is attractive, but nothing's wrong with knowing one's strengths. Excessive self-pity is not attractive, though it's good when someone can recognize their faults.

    These guys that responded by trying to gain control sound like they lack confidence, like yours made them feel deficient in some way.
     
    #2 Jaa, Feb 14, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2016
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  3. @yahoo.com

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    Self confidence is a wonderful trait that serves me well in all aspects of my life - dating, work, personal, etc. It is a wonderful trait to have and i wish more people had it. In terms of dating, confidence is number one in seeking a partner. Without it, it is a no-go. Lack of self confidence is a turn off. I do not want someone that I run over, or is unsure of who they are... I cant deal. I caaaaaaaaaaaaant!
     
    #3 @yahoo.com, Feb 14, 2016
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  4. acessential

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    Self-confidence is definitely important. Everyone has flaws and should strive towards either fixing them or accepting them. Either way, it's great to meet someone who is comfortable in his own skin. I'm far from perfect, but I feel like I've developed a certain level of confidence over the years. It wasn't easy, but it's something I've worked on. It's helped immensely. I feel more at ease with everything from my career to relationships to normal everyday interactions. I hate arrogance and cockiness, but self-confidence is key.
     
    #4 acessential, Feb 14, 2016
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  5. bisonboy

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    I find self-confidence sexy as hell. However, on the flip side I have not worked on my confidence that much to the point where someone would find it sexy as hell in me. Something to definitely work on. I tend to be the excessive self-pity person @Jaa was referring to. I'd like to think that that side of me comes up more in my friendships, but it may come up when dating someone, something that I will be working on in 2016.
     
    #5 bisonboy, Feb 14, 2016
  6. SB3

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    I think the biggest problem is ppl feeling like not getting a yes/pat on the back is the end of the road. It's ok, and real life to get ur face cracked from time to time. N as adults, we should be capable of moving on and letting go. Confidence in tact, becus u know that this one situation doesnt determine ur value.
     
    #6 SB3, Feb 15, 2016
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  7. bisonboy

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    I just created a personal challenge to myself to go out on a date with at least one person that I am interested in once a month. Whether it be a new friend or an old acquaintance, I need to go out and get my confidence boosted a smidge bit in the dating game.
     
    #7 bisonboy, Feb 15, 2016
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