Lost His Job

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by @yahoo.com, Nov 9, 2015.

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  1. @yahoo.com

    @yahoo.com When the lights get low, I Burn Brighter.
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    Good Afternoon Brothers -

    So, this guy I am dating told me today that he went into work this morning and they let him go. It is not performance based, but just business and the need to cut back. Question for you all - what can I do to support him mentally during this time? Also, is there anything you all would recommend in terms of him finding a new job (best job search sites, etc)?
     
  2. Jdudre

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    The best thing I would say is just be there for him. If he dint like the job it may not be the worst thing in the world this may be an opportunity for him to find something better. As far as job search if he is where he graduated from college, he could try hitting then up. Most college often have service to help former graduates find employment other then that monster and the like.
     
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  3. Dante

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    Losing a job is a really depressing and stressful situation for anyone.

    Primarily, please don't remind him or throw it in his face that he lost his job, even in an argument. Try to make sure that you divert the topic of employment from the majority of communicating. You can also try to come up with things to do leisurely at the spare of the moment to distract him from thinking about looking for a job; the littlest things count. As for the actual job search process, he needs to make sure he applies for unemployment insurance in the state he resides in. While collecting that temporary income, he should be looking for work at least 2 times a week. In addition to that, he can either look into temporarily volunteering either for events/projects or a specific place once or twice a week. This can help to add to his resume and prevent an employment gap. Not saying he is going to be unemployed for a long time; however, it's unpredictable. In doing either, during a job interview, he can answer the "What are you doing at the moment/now?" question without saying "Nothing right now...". That question can determine from the employer either he is proactive while unemployed or just lazy/inactive.

    Hope this helps.
     
  4. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    This is where I stopped reading...Everyone is dating but me...even the unemployed brothas...:mjcry1:

    [​IMG]
     
  5. BlackguyExecutive

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    I think the best thing you can do is be there and support him in small but meaningful ways (i.e., while he on the computer searching for job, make him a sandwich). With that being said, what kind of industry did he get laid off from?
     
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  6. ControlledXaos

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    I have been fired and laid off. So I know what this is about. This is gonna be a little allover the place but bear with me.

    Tell him that for the next two weeks to just breathe. It's easy to panic but take the next two weeks to relax... Or try to. It's not the end of the world but it may feel like it.

    As has been said, sign in for unemployment ASAP. This is usually approved and processed within a week in most states so he should be able to get a check best week for that. Also don't be ashamed to get yourself EBT benefits this is what your tax money goes for and it's meantime to be temporary anyway.

    Brush up the resume and then when he's ready, post it. Also, have the resume ready to go as an attachment to email. I saved mine on dropping and Google Docs so it was alway updated and ready to go. Gather all of his contact info, phones, email addresses for his previous employers. They are going to ask for this on every application. May also want to take a photo of or scan his degrees and professional certifications as pdfs so they can be uploaded to applications as additional documentation.

    Also set up a separate email address just for employment like ControlledXaos.job@domain.com.

    This will make management of job related emails and notifications easier without getting cluttered in with personal email. I almost missed an opportunity because of it got lumped in with other stuff.

    Indeed.com is better IMO than Monster and Career Builder but that was my experience. Indeed worked as an aggregation system. But This depends on his field. If he is a member of a frat, see if any of his brothers have any leads. Also if there's a university alumni chapter, he can look their for leads as well.

    What you can do is be there as a rock for him. Just have to reassure him that he gon' be alright.

    Now I will be real.... It's hard to get a professional level job during the holidays but it's possible. However he may be waiting until the end of the quarter for many companies before they get back into hiding mode but this too depends on region and field.

    Good luck as I know what that's like .
     
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  7. @yahoo.com

    @yahoo.com When the lights get low, I Burn Brighter.
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    He is in Human Resources... and while he may know what to do to get a job, it is a hard industry to move within. Thanks for the advice.
     
  8. ControlledXaos

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    Well if he's familiar with HR practices, he should do well with volunteer work as far as helping people get things together with resumes, professional appearance, and interview skills. He could also be a career coach for others.
     
  9. Kouncelor

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    I've been unemployed twice in my life.. and dated guys that were unemployed.
    1. I never made their employment an issue. We were not living together or supporting other financially. One dude, I stayed at his place often..and he COOKED even though times were tight financially. So sometimes just brought groceries.. without being asked.. without saying anything.. brought them in his house and put them away. No conversation. Everyone has an ego that needs to be strokes sometimes, especially at our lowest points.
    2. If he is open to discussing careers (don't push it), see if he is willing to look at other careers where he could apply his skills and experiences. He's going to need different versions of his resume for different jobs. I have worked in 4 different industries in my life and acquired skills from each that I am able to use today.
    3. Create a completely professional linked in profile. Employers will often look for this when they get a resume. (and w/ the email, makes sure it's a professional looking one..not bootielove2@gmail.com)
    4. Clean up his Facebook and other social media sites. Make sure he checks his media presence (google himself). Employers check this too

    Your dude probably knows most of this stuff from being in HR.
     
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  10. BlackguyExecutive

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    From personal experience about three years ago, I abruptly quit my job in the legal field and left law school with no real plan. I was dating my now husband at the time for about three years and he was as shocked as everyone but he didn't get cray about any of it. He supported me. I had some savings so for a while I was doing okay sticking to a tight budget but after about three months without a job, I was getting scared and to my surprise, he said don't worry we should be helping one another in good time and bad. Right now you may be having a bad time and if that means we both eat turkey sandwiches then so be it. I found a job a few weeks after that talk but it really had an impact on me. He did not once bring up that I was unemployed, he never made me feel less because we were not turning up every weekend like we had in the past. He asked me about my job search with genuine interest instead of that breathing down my throat. He lift me up when I needed a boost. That what should be done, especially if he is still trying to continue his grind.
     
    #10 BlackguyExecutive, Nov 11, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2015
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  11. @yahoo.com

    @yahoo.com When the lights get low, I Burn Brighter.
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    thank you for sharing... Congratulations on your marriage. It seems like you have a good one!
     
  12. @yahoo.com

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    Thanks for the advice man. It is a tough time and you said the key word that I am cognizant of at this time - - - EGO! I do not want to bruise it in any way. thanks again for the great advice.
     
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  13. alton

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    LOL!!
     
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  14. Sean

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    Am I the only one that's noticed how important sandwiches are to @BlackguyExecutive? lol.

    Having been unemployed recently, I recommend letting him vent and worry, but gently keep him grounded and centered. In other words, don't let him go overboard and become negative all the time. It's good to just be upset and concerned for a moment to just get it out your system. Stay positive and supportive, but not in an obnoxious way. Be emotionally available. Ask what you can do to help...and real talk, making a sandwich or some other random small act of kindness goes a long way.

    Indeed.com is a site that I found the most useful during my searches. My experience spans a few different professions and skill sets and I was able to search for jobs in all areas through them.

    I am happy to look over resumes and cover letters.
     
    #14 Sean, Nov 25, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2015
  15. BlackguyExecutive

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    LMAO!!! I mean I guess I am trying to say that we normally eat very well in our household. But if there ever comes a time where we got to each sandwiches, I am totally down until we can get back on the up and up.

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. TheEdge

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    The time i as unemployed this is what i appreciated the most because i could never get myself to ask for groceries money
     
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