Male vs Female Sexuality

Well id venture to say that the most obvious reason is that women are free, and sometimes, even encouraged to explore their sexuality. When was the last time you heard someone say, 'all guys experiment in college'? Exactly

 

People treat masculinity with kid's gloves. It's too fragile. It's tragically ironic.

Men are supposed to be strong but masculinity is so delicate that any slight deviation from it permanently scars it from which it can never fully recover.

Seems like the only way people let it slide is when Big Tommy was in prison for 8 years. I refuse to believe any man in prison that long didn't get any boy boodee.

 

That's a great question, I've noticed that in myself as well.

I personally believe in the idea that human sexuality, male or female, is on a spectrum and I also think that part of why men can seem more black or white on the subject is because we tend to be more sexually driven versus emotional driven/attached in a relationship like a lot of women are (like when you mentioned the girl crying over the guy).

Not to speak in generalities but, even with straight men, have a hard time seeing themselves in a committed relationship with a woman because that's not their primary focus.

 

Well I think with black women, there's a good reason why they could get attached. There's just not a lot of good available men out there. If women are out numbering men, an educated, good looking black man can play the field. But I also think that now, black men don't appreciate commitment and are just scared of it. Or scared of cutting off their supply of women to settle down with one. That takes a lot of maturity.

On another note I definitely can agree that I think sexuality is very fluid but people are either you caught up in some religious beliefs to accept it or just stuck on stupid about it. There are days I see some chicks and be like "Damn she fine." or I see a dude and he is bonafide hot but his chick is busted and I think "what's going on here?" however I know I'm more gay than straight so there's going to be no point in me entertaining a relationship with a female. I can appreciate their beauty but it's not a long term Imma spend the rest of my life with TaQuandra situation .

 

I think that women experimenting is a lot more accepted than guys experimenting. A woman can kiss another woman at a party or at the bar and the next day her sexuality would not be questioned. The same can't really be said for us gentlemen. If a guy openly kisses a guy at a bar or a party everyone would assume that they were gay. I think it it has a lot to do with societal views and expectations. It's pretty similar to some heterosexual males being okay with two woman being together but when it comes to two guys, then that's unacceptable. So I think it just comes down to women being able to be more fluid with their sexuality.

 

I agree 1000%

 

1: Heterosexual men are attracted to women so I could see how they would find two women making out to be erotic. The opposite would be true for two men making out. I understand why they would find it disgusting on a visceral level especially if they're closed minded and not used to seeing that sort of thing. 2: Most of the negative consequences and societal disapproval in most cultures around the world is directed at homosexual men. My theory is that female homosexuality is not as threatening to patriarchal system as male homosexuality. Men are expected and required to exercise domination and control over women. Which goes back to the "ick factor" many straight men feel at the thought sexual relations between men. Finally I read somewhere(in can't remember where) in which studies show that female sexuality is more malleable than male sexuality which is why females more readily switch teams than men.

 

I fixed the above statement for you. Caucasian men often have gay pasts. Many had gay sex in college...or while they were walking across Europe in their youth....They easily switch back to heterosexual and leave it in their pasts. Black men on the other hand....its perceived that they can't be bisexual...or even experiment, without forever being "gay." Gender and sexuality is fluid and not dependent on "black and white" made-up social constructs created by biased humans in a rigid society.

 

U know whats kinda crazy, I actually made out w a str8 coworker at a bar earlier this year, and no1 batted an eye. He's a rly hot white guy, who always just found me attractive and would always say it, but identifies as str8 at the end of the day. Granted, booze played a part on my end to just let that happen (he doesn't even drink) but I can only imagine how different everything would have been if he and the environment were also predominantly black.

 

Interesting!

 

I def get how white privilege allows for things to just 'be' and not matter long term, but i couldn't imagine a blk guy doing that (seeing as how negros in the hood will literally die for 'respect'). Never even thought abt it until I replied to this post.

 

Knowing of a few black men who I know for a fact have messed around with dudes in college but are now in heterosexual relationships, it's not that blacks men haven't also done the "experiment" but black people, tend to view any deviation from straight the same as the One Drop Rule.

I can imagine that in a black environment, it would have been "Wtf is up with this gay sh!+? Look at these ninjas over here kissing! Git that fağ shït out of here!"

Blacks have low tolerance around other black folks for stuff like that because if you don't say anything negative it means that you condone it in their minds.

 

It's really interesting, this is part of what I want to do some of my research on. This idea really is so prevalent in the black community, that male sexuality is completely gay or straight, with nothing in between. I've also known a couple dudes who were experimenting in college, and it is definitely less accepted. I think it not only means that black heterosexuals are more likely to deny any experimentation (even though it happens), but also a lot of black straight and gay men will claim any guy who shows the slightest variance from heterosexuality as completely gay. Both are simply not true. I'm curious as to the types of effects this has on specific forms of homophobia within the black community.

 

Its that blk folk 'group think' problem. And tbh, its not just blk ppl, its non white ppl in general. Minority groups are so used to being ostracized that individuals fear anything that might get them (or their loved ones) shunned by the pack.

Meanwhile, this white man is just making out w sum1 he thinks is hot (thank you, the other gays couldnt take it either, AND i'll be signing autographs in the lobby after) and prob went home w some hot woman from the bar that night, n life went on for everyone the next day!

 

Dude even me having a E Lynn Harris or James Baldwin book on my shelf gets eyebrows raised. There are indie black gay film DVDs in my collection, if a heterosexual black woman or man comes over and sees that, the One Drop Rule applies...even if I were actually a heterosexual who just appreciated all types of art.

I shouldn't care because I AM gay...they would be right to call me "suspect"...but IDK, its not that way with straight white friends. I see straight white guys calling each other good looking all the time, but black men...you would hear a record scratch in a crowded room if that happened

 

My thoughts turn to this. I don't have any male friends who have admitted to exploration or even wanting to. They are pretty rigid in their expression. I do, however, have female friends that have at least admitted to giving it a thought or 2 (if it was an extreme circumstance or Rhianna)....

 

Its that extension of white privilege man. Blk ppl put so much pressure on our boys to not show any weakness. I'll never forget a guy I saw on the train w his son who was clearly less than 5/school age, and he keot insisting that the lil boy could stand up on this rocky train because 'he's a man', eventho many of us adults offered our seats. That 3 yr old all ready had his dad putting pressure on him to 'man up'. Smh

 

This portion of this thread explains reasons why even if they actually did or want(ed) to. However I think college campuses make things easier to experiment especially for those who went to school out of their home state. They leave stuff where it started. But I really believe that 3 in 10 men have had a same sex sexual experience of some sort

Isn't it always that chicks choose women who are beautiful when it's same sex? Lol nobody ever says they wanna get with Cheryl Underwood. Lol

 

See..leave cheryl alone!