For the love of Black guys...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE me a brother and for the past few years, I have been trying get to know, be friends, date and maybe be in a relationship. However none of the above mentioned stages have been successful. I was inspired by the last Podcast episode, to make this thread, when they talked about quitting guys on the first episode and not waiting till 3rd or 5th episode or even till the second season lol. I think this happens a lot with us Black guys and I want to be messy and put my business out there, about issues guys have cut me off while I showed them the Trailer.

You are NOT Masculine enough; This renders me powerless like I can't come up with response. I just let it go. This guy told me on a date that I was not as masculine as his Jamaican ex, so it would not work. That he needs a MANLY MAN not a batty boy( ok I added that last one lol).


You do not have a Car; This one kills me. How do you just cut someone for the absence of a material thing? I like to use public transport, the bus, taxi, train and I do not see the need to get a car. My parents got the 5 of us siblings a beat up Toyota we had to share and my Sis being the eldest always had it and the rest of us took cabs or got her to drop us off, so having a car has never been in me . I took a taxi to a date, told him I took a taxi, he said he drove the New Range Rover (which means nothing to me, cos it just went over my head). I said taxi's are just fine with me, I guess that was a deal breaker. He then picks up the phone calls another guy, I assume was another date he wanted to go on, tells him to meet us at the cafe that he is free. I was quite stunned, just like that! The guy pulls up also in a Range and my date says 'Ok I have seen you, good bye' . I burst out laughing whenever I remember his moment.

You are too withholding; I admit it takes a while for dudes to figure me out, even if I like them. Growing up in a conservative Muslim family that then changed to a conservative Pentecostal christian one, in FUCKING homophobic Nigeria, that takes a toll on a Black gay boy. You build up a wall all those years and it just doesn't come crumbling down when one moves to a open and more accepting environment. I was talking to this guy for like a week and he said he can't figure out if I like him or not. DUDE! I am talking with you and its ONLY been a week! That's the reason he stays away from Africans, we are too complicated. He said its best we stop talking, I said ok if he feels so. JUST WITHIN A WEEK!!! I feel guys do not want to take time to figure someone out and just want it all prepared for their consumption, no work put into it.

You are too Out; With this I think dudes have to expect not every guy is going to be on the same level of comfort/acceptance as them with their Homosexuality. Yes I like Drag queens, yes i use 'gurl' and 'bitch' when I am within my close friends, yes I enjoy shade and a good read but that's not ALL of me. A guy gets a whiff of that and they run for the hills. Also I am not a fan of PDA gay or straight, but I like to be able to hold my dudes hand randomly if we walking or i just kiss his cheek or grab his cakes and with black dudes that is not happening. They keep their distance when walking and do not want you to do any Gay stuff while we out, at least the ones I have been out with.

These are just some of the ones that pissed me off, they have been plenty. However I KEEP GOING BACK cos IF YOU CAN'T GET LOVE YOUR OWN, WHERE THE HELL CAN YOU GO!