No Judgment Zone: Dating Married Men

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Nigerian Prince, Mar 29, 2018.

  1. Nigerian Prince

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    So as some of you have seen on my profile post that I made, two West African men that my brother and I came across through another gay friend of ours revealed to us that they were into men. They even tried to really get at us for real. I was in such shock but we both shut that down immediately. We empathize with them as to why they married women because back home it can be the difference between life and death for some. It can be the difference between being an outcast versus having your blood kin surrounding you. We're cool with them and they're always looking forward to hanging out with us and any of our other friends in the A.

    The craziest thing is that one of them looks like a Ghanian actor from many African films that is my brother's type to the max! Light-skinned, handsome, model physique.... The other one looks like a prettier/more handsome version of a Senegalese musician that the world grew to know and love especially in the mid-2000s. Dark-skinned and my type all the way! Man if they were single and unmarried then my bro and I would be all in!!!

    I gotta ask you guys... have any of you ever dated a married man (or a man in a LTR)? Did you do it knowingly or unknowingly? How was that experience for you?
     
  2. Cyrus-Brooks

    Cyrus-Brooks is a Featured MemberCyrus-Brooks The Black Vulcan
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    I've never dated a married man. I have dated a guy with a baby mama knowingly and a guy with a gf unknowingly. Those experiences taught me not to fuck with bisexual men. They're a waste of time. My advice for any gay man is
    1: don't do it
    2: don't do it
    3: if you insist on doing it fuck em then get rid of them fast. Don't keep them around and don't catch feelings.
     
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  3. alton

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    My first BF had a kid. I've never messed with a married dude or even anyone with a GF and morally I don't think I could but...there's this married Guyanese dude ("str8", of course. Never fails, if I find them attractive then they alweays end up bein' str8. smfh. Although I get the feelin' he's messing around with one of our male coworkers) I work with that tests the limits of my morality everyday LOL.
     
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  4. mojoreece

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    Theoretically I would never do it. I believe in karma and believe it could one day be done to me if I ever did it.

    But.....:rolleyes:in reality I have never been presented with this "opportunity":D lol
     
  5. SB3

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    Nope. Now...'separated' and all of those other classifications are on a case by case basis. I never have, ijs.
     
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  6. Nick Delmacy

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    Back when I was in college I was sorta talking to this older married woman. I backed off once she wanted to sneak me into her husbands house to have sex though. I had imagined a situation where he walked in on us and I got paranoid so I deaded it.

    Married man, on the other hand, I may have went through with that if that situation had ever presented itself. I would probably do it now too. Fuck it, I'm single with no responsibilities to maintain someone else's relationship that I don't even know. Especially if that dude is the one coming at me hard.

    If a married dude (or guy in a relationship) is trying to cheat with me and I say no, please believe he's gonna just cheat with someone else.

    The only line I don't cross is if I know the couple. Like if his boyfriend has looked me in the eyes or shook my hands before. Like, I wouldn't actively pursue a dude I knew to be in a relationship or married. Otherwise, for all I know that person doesn't even actually exist.
     
  7. HauteChocolat

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    I'm going to be honest in saying I'm curiously intrigued by the prospect of trying it once - all things being aligned, i.e it's just a hot dalliance that will run its course after which one would shake it off and move on.
     
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  8. Nigerian Prince

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    That part in bold. Many believe this right here! I don't know any of the guys' wives in my situation. Only met them through another friend who happens to be gay. But still it doesn't sit well with me.
     
  9. mojoreece

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    :umad:U know I never very really thought of it like that. I guess married dudes should just cheat w/ me. I mean I only want a "workout partner".:pachah1:
     
    #9 mojoreece, Apr 3, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2018
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  10. Coon_dalini

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    Never pays off in the end unless you are a material opportunist. I used to do married men almost exclusively because they seemed “safer”. Less likely to stalk you or fall in love. But I learned that’s not 100% across the board.

    Remember they have to lie or tell “ half truths” most of the time. Do you want to be with a habitual liar?
    But first and foremost karma is real. It’s a universal law that surprises you when you least expect it. The “wife” is an innocent victim in this. It’s best to think about HER. Fidelity is the issue here. Not feeling sorry for a dude that wants to be deceitful yet attempt to live up to cultural standards. It’s weak.

    My situation with a married man was exposed. Forgot how. But got a letter from the wife who was ..... distraught.. to say the least. Fortunately Ihad already moved from the city the affair took place. I knew her. She was disappointed to say the least. I vowed never to do it again after seeing her pain. I had never thought the “ wife” prior to this. It was all about me and being selfish and that comes back on you. That life is a dead end emotionally,and spiritually. You’re dealing with someone that more than likely can’t stand themselves. I’ve been with enough to see this up close and personal. Deep down they aren’t happy people. And you will watch them put on a good front to the world that everything is all good until one day after they have sucked your dick they are crying in your arms about how miserable they really are. The classic attempt to gain your sympathy and maintain the codependent/narcissistic relationship you two have.
     
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