What's worse on a first date?

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by cypher21, Dec 21, 2015.

?
  1. No physical attraction

    4 vote(s)
    16.0%
  2. Nothing to talk about

    21 vote(s)
    84.0%
  1. cypher21

    cypher21 Deactivated Account
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    Straight up OKCupid Question I know, but it bugs me and you guys know I count on you for opinions lol so which one is worse to you??

    [​IMG]

    I said I feel like not clicking on a mental/emotional level is worse because even though physical attraction is very important, I would like to get to know a person first. Even if I'm not attracted to you we could potentially be great friends.
     
    #1 cypher21, Dec 21, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2015
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  2. Jaa

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    I'll say "nothing to talk about". A conversationalist that just doesn't appeal to me can make for a fun night, though I'd be disappointed that we won't connect romantically. A hot date that can't communicate will be nice to look at but make for a painful evening that I'll want to end early.
     
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  3. Tyroc

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    I've always found it more important that we vibe and you can make me really laugh.
    I "prefer" certain physical traits but if there's nothing of interest between us, what's the point?
     
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  4. grownman

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    If we're supposed to meet up and their is no initial attraction. It's not going to work. I will finish out the date, but thats it. However, i am a really good friend. The person would go in the friend category if they so choose.
     
    #4 grownman, Dec 21, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2015
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  5. Champagne Papi

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    Nothing to talk about takes the cake for me, always....I can talk about any and everything for days. One thing I cannot do though is force a conversation.

    Plus, initial attraction is just that....an initial attraction. People become attractive over time; getting to know their character makes you perceive them differently.

    ....trust me, it has happened to me before. I wasn't attracted to this dude in the least bit, but I got to know him and my conscience eased up and that allowed my heart to open up....he went from not being on my radar to making my stomach do somersaults whenever he texted me.

    Long story short, substance always outweighs physical attraction.
     
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  6. Redlove333

    Redlove333 Lurker

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    Just had this conversation 15 minutes ago with a friend of mine. If a person cannot hold a meaningful conversation with me then we can't continue to get to know each other. Physical attraction last for only a short period of time, once the sex is over then what do you talk about?
     
  7. grownman

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    Addendum:

    I just read the title of the thread. It was asking which one is worst on a "initial date". So, I read that as you and the person have not ever met in person. So, if we meet and their is no attraction on either part. I would say that is not good. We can all have a good conversation with someone. I think we are proving that now.
    alright, @grownman-we promised no long posts. Gotta keep the new year resolution. Leave it alone my friend.
     
  8. tigerbreaux

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    Nothing to talk about hands down. I've ended up with not the most attractive dudes strictly based on chemistry, and I've ended up making good friends out of what was supposed to be potential interests.
     
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  9. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I think this is a false dichotomy. You need both building blocks to have a good date or a potential mate. If your lacking physical attraction all you got is a platonic friend(that's not necessarily a bad thing). If you're lacking an intellectual and emotional connection you end up with is a meaningless fuck(that's not necessarily a bad thing either, but not productive long-term).
     
    #9 Cyrus-Brooks, Dec 24, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2015
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  10. Tyroc

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    Speaking only for myself, I can overlook not being physically attracted to someone at first if we can sit up all night talking, laughing and they really capture my interest.
    I might find something attractive about the dude, like his hands or his scent and from there a physical attraction to them could and has developed.

    On the opposite end though I was never been able to get beyond a one or 3 night stand with someone that was uninteresting or non conversant.
     
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  11. DFW Brutha

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    No physical attraction...you can always talk with your mother, father, friends, siblings, dogs, cats, television, milk carton, self...[​IMG]
     
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  12. bisonboy

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    The last guy I went on a first date with, we had been chatting on Tinder and texting for about two months here and there. I didn't find him fully attractive at the time, but was intrigued by the conversation from online. When we finally met the conversation in person was AMAZING and so was the chemistry for me. Well after that I was fully smitten by guy and wanted to talk to him and see him a whole bunch. Needless to say that wasn't what he was necessarily looking for, but I definitely was feeling him.
     
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  13. Discordant

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    Definitely conversation for me. A date is a social engagement so even if we're not vibing physically, if the conversation is good I wouldn't consider it a waste of my time. Not to mention it could turn into a great friendship. Granted, lack of conversation could be indicative of a lack of physical attraction. Never know.
     
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  14. BlackguyExecutive

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    Sometimes I am can talk too much. I am a natural talker, in fact, I have been trained to talk about a wide range of topics, couple that with an extremely extroverted personality, I tend to dominate social interactions. But the lack of being able to sustain a conversation is a definite killer to a date. I been a several dates where I thought the guy was less attractive than I had initially thought only to find attractive qualities on later dates.
     
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