Best Posts in Thread: Why I will end up with a 48-yr old dude

This is interesting and true in many ways. I think you'll be surprised to find many 40-year-old men who are full of shit too. I say that to say, its all subjective. There are tons of men in their late 20s and 30s who are dope, the problem is actually meeting at the right time. Like I'm considered a "good dude" but at sporadic moments in my life I purposely take myself off the market...or when I am down to meet dudes, I don't make a serious effort or I'm not in a position to meet other guys. Jack'd, Apps, Clubs, Parties, etc many "good guys" are not doing these things or if they are, they're not doing them at the same time as the other "good guys" so they can meet each other.

Its a conundrum but I promise that I hear the same from a lot of straight ppl, they have a (somewhat) hard time meeting compatible ppl too.

 

I'm a firm believer that if two folks are compatible and like each other, age shouldn't be an issue (As long as both are consenting adults).

With that said, I don't think it's a good idea to simply give up on dudes closer to your age. Yes, there are a lot of 20-somethings who ain't about shit, but as mentioned earlier, there are a lot of 30-somethings and 40-somethings who ain't about shit neither. And if you discount younger dudes, you might miss out on something good. I always thought I was a well put together dude for my age. I'm 25, finishing up my Masters in May, got a job lined up following school. Then I met my current dude who is one year younger than me, a doctoral student, and a university lecturer. Some of his students are older than him.

My point being, I think folks should keep an open mind. Know exactly what you want, but don't think that you have to set up an arbitrary age range.

 

Just to echo the things previously mentioned. I think relationships and age and finding mister right or mister right now is all relative. I know plenty of more mature gentlemen who are in that ain't shit category. On the flip side, I know several 20-somethings that are doing things I couldn't imagine doing when I was their age. I often think about my parents. By the time they were 21 and 22 years old they had two kids and military careers. When I was 21, I was busy trying to figure out which pizza spot I was going to hit up.

With that being said, I think it is about finding someone that offers balance in life and love. Find someone with similar values and trajectories. Some of the biggest mistakes I made in dating were trying to conform to someone else's life or trying to make something happen that simply wasn't meant to be, despite love.

In my marriage now, my husband is a few years older than me and was initially more established, he allowed me to play catch up, earn an advanced degree and now he travels like the king he is. But at the end of the day, we compliment each other.

 

This has been an absolutely fascinating year. Well, 9 months anyways. I joined this site, started mingling in my city (and others), made friends, had WAY too much fun and progressed at work. Along the way I’ve realized something about dudes I’ve gotten to know, dated or had fun with.

#1 The vast majority of 20-somethings have no idea what the fuck they’re doing in life. The uselessness is breathtaking. Yes, the good ones are actually trying and are actively becoming even better dudes. But there are only about 3 of them-all socially awkward. Except for me of course; I’m delightful.

#2 30-somethings seem to have their heads stuck up their collective asses. Ok…maybe just their faces- which is why they’re always mumbling. Lemme tell you about a bunch of seemingly grounded dudes, who, at 4.5 years my senior (yes, oddly all the same age), either couldn’t make up their minds after months of talking/meeting/etc, thought chiding was an effective strategy of making me care, or wanted prolonged “butterflies”. Butterflies! Which is what a 12-year-old says. Head. Ass. Bye.

#3 Which brings me to the 40-somethings. I suspect a dude between 10 and 20 years my senior would be perfect. Why? We’d probably be on the same page regarding relationship desires and goals. Life cycle stuff would align- he’d be established in his career and could actually support me in mine. And his mom would be almost 70. Little old ladies LOVE me- I cook, I clean, I have nice teeth, I speak in a low, melodious voice, I’m rather charming AND I make house calls.

So I’m gonna start (almost) exclusively dating older dudes.

This plan will go into effect sometime in July or August, once life settles down.

As always, send those sexy daddies my way.

Anyone in mind @King Zorro @jpo @Rico @African King ?