Interesting. My partner has had bouts of depression steaming from the military and takes medication due to PTSD. He also was on some meds that he had to stop taking because they made him gain weight.
My point...a lot of times we are more similar than you know AND a majority of the time, your problems are not unique. We as black people and men don't like to discuss parts of our true selves.
Best Posts in Thread: Depression
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OckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club
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I was diagnosed with depression many years ago. I'm not sure it ever left, I just stopped seeing doctors and taking meds after a few months because I questioned whether it was necessary and didn't feel a substantial change, though the afflicted are often not best at diagnosing themselves. I did continue seeing counselors for some time afterwards. It felt good talking and venting to a neutral party.
I tried to address issues that seemed manageable and minimize damage to other areas of life. I left school because I had just failed most of my classes and there was a possibility that I could return if I could prove I improved my state of mind. Eventually, I began looking into changing my diet and becoming more active and lost a substantial amount of weight. But despite some ups like going back and getting my degree and the weight loss, I've made a lot of questionable decisions and often have a fairly dark mentality that I keep somewhat concealed from most.
I'm not sure what I'd suggest. Try not to isolate yourself. Maintain a comfortable distance from those close to you if you feel it's necessary but shutting people could make you lonely and them confused. They say exercise helps. I know I often feel better when outside breathing "fresh" city air, walking around and people watching. When I have the opportunity to get away from the city and out into nature, it's relaxing. Talking with my nerdier acquaintances about stuff that most people I know don't care about is comforting.
I'm not sure. Part of me thinks you should try to do healthy things that you enjoy and reach out to your closer loved ones, but I've also been in states in which I don't want to talk to anyone and feel that I've lost interest in most, if not all, of my hobbies. Then after some time and reevaluation, I decide to change my outlook. Maybe mine is more situational than clinical, though it's lasted for quite some time. And I know it can sometimes be frustrating repeatedly hearing similar advice.
Take care of yourself. You took the right step by finding a therapist. If you ever come to the conclusion that they aren't helping, seek other alternatives rather than giving up on therapy altogether. I've found that I enjoy working with some much more than others. -
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@Jdudre, I can be a guarded MF, but depression is such a serious issue that I want to speak up. I am so glad that you posted this thread and are addressing your situation head-on. That is strength!
My brother committed suicide 7 weeks ago as of tomorrow. The outside world would never have known that he was struggling. I wish that he hadn't been the stereotypical Black man who thought that seeking help was a sign of weakness.
It appears that you have a supportive community on this site who not only understand the challenges of depression, but can recommend available resources to help you and others stay on track (THANK YOU Cypher Avenue!). Congratulations for recognizing that this is not your fight alone. And, as many others have said already, all the best to you. We've got your back! -
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I've dealt with bouts of depression. I've been seeing a therapist. At one point I was even on Paxil. I stopped taking it because it made me gain weight. How I deal with depression is going to the gym. The therapy helps, but the gym is how I deal day to day stress. It also helps that I've set a goal on improving my employment situation and have been sticking to it.
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Depression is rough. I can see you're already on the right track with talking to someone about it. I don't really have anything profound to say. I just know it's a struggle. I've seen other people go through it and I've dealt with it in the past. The thing about having someone to talk to is it has to be consistent. You build on it each time you discuss. Different techniques work for different people but one of the things I did was keep track of things that made me happy each day no matter how small they were. It could be something as simple as a person smiled at me when I walked down the street. It was nice to try and find the silver lining even when I felt like everything was going wrong. Good luck man. I wish you all the best.
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I saw a psychiatrist and therapists. I was never diagnosed with clinical depression or clinical anxiety by them but they told me to keep talking it through and the treatment given to me by the psychiatrist was to begin an exercise regimen. I started that and I have not looked back.
My anxiety and depression (possibly "situational" I guess) was mostly tied to my sexuality and living a lie to please my parents. I went so far as to believe a story that I told myself over and over again. Long story short, I was in medical school for one year and the experience was tough. I ended up leaving that program for medical reasons, mostly tied to the anxiety and depression. Then during my downtime from school, I realized I made the wrong choice so I am finding my way on the right path in graduate school for anesthesia. I still get to do the medical field but have time for other things I want to do when I finish this 27 month program. Medical school and becoming a doctor would not have allowed me that freedom. I would not have been happy. My parents would have been happy to have the first doctor in the family but then I would have most likely been miserable. I started to really form my own identity outside of the one my parents created for me from childhood around 22 or 23 years old.
The key is management. We are all built differently so while you might think you're the only one going through it, others are dealing with mental or other health issues too. For me, I manage it by healthy living, exercise, fueling positivity into my life... I hope you find what works for you buddy! All the best!GNerd2012, acessential, DreG and 3 others dapped this. -
My advice for countering depresion is always activity.Stimulation is the exact opposite of depression so literally work through.Some kind of activity that keeps you moving helps you to work through it ,even when you don't realize it.Otherwise the stagnation fells like it's swallowing you whole and you can't escape it.You gotta work through those hard moments and days,so the best way to do that is by moving forward.
And do things that give you some sense of obligation.Being needed will help you to not dwell unnecessarily on yourself,or rather your issues, and do something progressive.GaTekno84, mojoreece, acessential and 3 others dapped this. -
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Its a coincidence that this was posted because on my list of podcasts to do is a whole episode on Depression and Black Gay Men. A heterosexual black friend of mine once told me, "suicidal thoughts have haunted me since I was 18." So its not even just gay men that are affected by this.
Even I have been (and continue to get) depressed. My depression is like a Caribbean rain though, it comes and goes within minutes. I joke to my brother that I'm probably a lazy bipolar. I've never been so depressed that it was diagnosed or that I seriously considered suicide, but I think all black men have thought about suicide and have been depressed at least once or twice in their lives for various reasons.
I may not be much help in this thread, but I'll repeat what has already been said. What gets me out of a funk is activity. Tearing my attention away from the causes of my low feelings to things that actually make me feel good about myself and the rest of the world we live in.
Unfortunately, other people are the causes for our depression. So separating yourself from others can help, but isolation can eventually exacerbate feelings of loneliness so its a double edged sword.Tyroc, acessential, DreG and 2 others dapped this. -
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To my understanding (not Googling) there is a difference between chronic and situational depression. You stated "past few years", so it may seem for you it may be chronic or long term situational (by all means correct me if I'm wrong with my terminology here).
Anywho...I have said to myself "do I want to be happy and what am I willing to do to make myself happy because I deserve it?" That is what started me down my path. The only recent "depression" that I had was with my job and I quite that bitch 2 months ago.grownman, SB3, Nigerian Prince and 2 others dapped this. -
SO for the past few years now I have been dealing with depression. I have been seeing a therapist and doing things to keep my mood up and change my way of thinking but sometimes its hard. I guess I wanna know what do some of you guys who have gone through depression done to keep yourself from not being complete blue
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I think it's rly important to speak up. Its common for us to not want to 'burden' others w our 'stuff', but thats just a part of reality. I had a college 'friend' (close friend to 1 of my close friends) commit suicide by jumping off of a building a few years ago. While I wouldn't have considered us 'close', I'd have loved to have been the ear for her 'stuff', if it could have prevented the outcome.
Most of us have had our bouts, but I rly think the most important thing is to speak up. Get some of those feelings off of ur chest. Soooo many ppl can relate.acessential, DreG, Jaa and 1 other person dapped this.