Best Posts in Thread: I feel bullied by undetectable (untransmittable) gays

  1. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
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    Okay, so before the pitchforks come out. I was abstinent for a long time. I assumed that holding your virginity was special but the other reason was STIs, STDs and beyond.

    I am and have always been negative and I'm strict about sexual stuff. I've taken a risk orally but I've never had raw sex anally.

    I remember this one dude said he wanted to grind his dick against my ass and I let him but I noticed that he was trying to work his way of sliding it in without protection. Session over. He got into this hissy fit about me not willing to try stuff. The last time I remember talking to him, he was coming down to visit in my home town to see me and I he started ranting about the last experience with him and then I just got tired of listening to him tell me about myself and hung up in his face and blocked his number.

    I've had guys lie to me about their statuses too. If someone starts telling me some lecture about I'm ignorant or whatever, I'll probably tell them off or something, especially what I do with my own body.

    I don't care if STIs can get cured by shots, I find them disgusting period. While I am not a raging nosophobe to the point it affects my daily life, I do have strong reservations about STIs and what not. I let people know immediately that I am a volunteer at HIV and STI clinics and get tested regularly. I'll ask them when was the last time they were tested or do they get tested regularly. I feel like we live in this era where folks don't gaf and when you ask them, they get offended. I wasn't even having sex and still got tested.

    I've seen videos of people having sex in public bathrooms on those pissy soaked floors. They have videos like that on Pornhub or even Xtube where dudes have sex with strangers and they don't be having condoms...

    It's really a personal choice that people chose but something I will never partake in.

    As far as dating a guy that's undetectable...I can't really sit and lie and say I wouldn't think about turning him down. They say undetectable after a certain period means you're not infectious or whatever.
     
    Sage, I-Stay-Woke, jpo and 1 other person dapped this.
  2. jpo

    jpo
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    I dapped your post because you raise a crucial point - people's preferences are their preferences - they are not endorsements nor are they shaming. Personally, my former partner, now deceased, was HIV+ and probably was when we first started our relationship - it was the mid 80s and neither of us were tested. I have subsequently had at least one affair with someone who is positive and is a very close friend.

    My problem with the discussion you reported is the overall situation in which people feel entitled to judge in extreme terms others' choices. It is not as if you were writing an article (though you have posted on the situation - but I think that is a different matter). Your opinion/preference is just that - it is not a fiat. I have become tired after decades of sitting through similar conversations among my gay peers of the over-reaction, the judging. I want to say and sometimes do "who died and made you queen." When I hear the words shaming, cancel, ___phobia, I simply tune out.

    I applaud your choice though I have made a different one. I also once again thank the Boards for existing and hosting discussions like this.
     
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