App Dating Horror Stories

Hmm. Yeah. That's not cool.

 

As a former high volume online dater, I have literally hundreds of dating tales.
Here are two.

I had a similar scheiße story but without the benefit of actually doing the nasty. We met on men4now and he came over and we made out a little and were falling asleep to some naked spooning and he yelled out loud, jumped up and ran towards my bathroom, I felt warmth on my 'crotchetal' area and the smell hit me. He exploded outwards and I of course now jump up and started pulling the sheets off before it got though to my (got at a non repeatable super discount) mattress.
He was completely embarrassed and I was understanding but admittedly grossed out and could have been more reassuring towards Mr. Poopy Butthole in hindsight.

One dude I met on another dating site was an X-Men fan and we made a date for the premier night of whichever one it was at the time.
He was a cool enough dude and I didn't feel any chemistry throughout the date and it was the last show and we got out sometime after 1 / 2a.
I was ready to call it a night and we were between Penn Station and The Port Authority and he was from (I'd lie if I said I remember) but his train or bus wasn't for another few hours, as cute as he was like I said he wasn't my type and I wasn't waiting around so I offered to let him ride with to BK until the morning where he could catch a decently timed ride back.
He had been slightly enamored with the picture I had up on the site and had the surprise present in his bag of his rendition of my picture for me.
Cool, so I warmed up a little bit and got a little bit friendlier against my better judgement.
Morning comes and he's hungry and asks if he can make breakfast, I'm thinking super cool! I'm showering and he's cracking eggs and making bacon and pancakes and I'm toweling off and my stomach is growling in anticipation and I come out and he's on my bed chilling and eating, so I go to make my plate and all I see are dishes in the sink!
Muthafukka!!!!!

 

Hahahahaha....he made food only for himself....so typical for a gay! lol. only thought of himself!

And what is up with people's butt's exploding? You never heard of that back in the day. Someone might end up with a bit of painting or pull out and have a kernel of corn on the end of the penis but that was it. Are these guys overdouching or what? What is causing that?

* I know he did bad and all, but kick they guy out and not help him with his non-starting car? I doubt he did it on purpose and probably felt like shit(no pun intended). Why should you pay for his sheets? Damn you were trying to help him(and yourself) and well, shit happens lol.

Y'all sound so selfish! And mean. Like the time I fell dead asleep at a guy's apt. with my pants off but before anything happened(too tired plus too much alcohol) woke up and my pants were fresh out of the washer-guy said I had spilled some beer on them so they needed washed.....uh....they did NOT need washed with my wallet and cellphone still in them!!!!!!!!*not a dating app but online source so close*

Fucker!

 

Surprisingly, I have no dating "horror stories" but I sure get a kick outta reading these LOL

 

I'll admit there are also my dating stories where I was someone else's nightmare story.
Keep in mind I was really young...ok, maybe not that young but still I admit I was a jerk at the time.

There was one dude that was good looking and pretty masculine for a flight attendant, I'd never met one before that was. He liked to drink and was had an easy going personality but one of those I didn't sense any chemistry "hang outs".
We met up somehow with buddies of buddies and wound up at some strange dudes apartment. The drinking and laughs continue and what was maybe seven became four and the apartment owner and I had definite sparks from the second we laid eyes on each other and we wound up in the kitchen getting more drinks and somehow our tongues fell into each other's mouths and my zipper opens and the dude being a proper gentleman felt obliged to check around the area and help me out.
His friend walked in and interrupted and my zipper finally got put back up and we all four of us were in the bedroom, getting closer to each other and apartment dude and I started to get back into some adult stuff and the flight attendant was watching and messing around with the friend.
Somehow when clothes were being removed and bodies were getting intertwined the flight attendant jumps up and grabs his stuff and leaves.

The next day when I'm checking my messages, he had left a really nasty one asking how I could do him dirty like that and he was digging me and what kind of person does that to their "date" and to basically lose his number and I was typical of his problems with "the lifestyle"

At the time I thought because of the lack of seeming attraction, that we were just hanging out as buds...or at least that's how I've tried to justify my fu@ked up actions.

 

LMFAO
"...the flight attendant jumps up and grabs his stuff and leaves."

 

My thing is... he knew his stuff wasnt right before he got there.... Like... @Tyroc I guess he sharted? I mean I'm not comfortable enough with some random to even attempt a fart. I'd still try to present The Best Version of Myself. If i had to fart I'd July go to the bathroom. If I'm comfort with you I'll be tooting up a stoam!

As far as breakfast dude his behind would have paid me $4.34 for materials and another $3.00 for clean up fees.

What's up with these folks not knowing their digestive systems? Like for real.

If it's in question, don't trust your digestion..

 

He was a manager at the NY Krystal's, White Castle and I'm assuming also a steady customer and I hope he never finds and reads about this.

Breakfast dude didn't even wash the dishes!!!!

 

"If i had to fart I'd July go to the bathroom. If I'm comfort with you I'll be tooting up a stoam!"

It somehow strikes me that that 'July' and 'stoam' could actually be words or have meanings that would make sense lol.

July means 'move quickly' and stoam? lol. 'a smelly storm-like someone had a stoma and bag and the bag exploded ' lol!!!!


That dude asked for breakfast...LOL! you should have said what you wanted to remind him to cook for you both. Should have made the guy pay lol!!!!

This is all hilarious!

 

*ohhhh White Castle! I would think that is worse than Taco Bell for causing these backdoor blowouts!

 

He was indeed a rare breed and so far the ONLY one I've ever met that wasn't an ultra flamboyant gold star gay.

 

Auto correct struck got me


July = just
"stoam" = country way of saying "storm"

Lol

 

Krystal and White Castles are notorious for causing bee gees. Though I have never had an issue with either. I don't have a cast iron gut but I know many who had issues with both and yet, they still eat there on occasion.

 

When you want to leave a comment that could offer some insight but just don't feel like typing because you're kinda grossed out.

 

...all these boo boo stories.

 

Me, my nose & sheets at the time wish I did not have this boo boo story to share with y'all.

 

I was laughing so hard at her on this one! Lolololol

 

yeah i almost died with dat too- the expressions were just delicious. Check out dude facepalming- he was prob on grindr right before sitting in the gallery lol