Best Posts in Thread: Be Honest, Would Y’all Date a 50-Year-Old That Bagged Groceries Full Time?

I mean if dude looked good and had a great personality
I honestly would at least go on one a date with him.

I understand life happens, bad economy, mistakes, pitfalls, sometimes things just don't go the way u want them to do go. You have to still keep living life.

 

I have a completely different take on this. My first job was at a grocery store. While I wouldn't quite have the life that I have now, I would have been able to more than sufficiently provide for a bae/family. To be clear, I'm not talking about working at a bodega here. If I was looking to meet and greet, there is no question that I would holler at a Brotha working at Trader Joe's (I would have said TJ's, but I'm triflin' like the rest of y'all and wouldn't step to a clerk at TJ Maxx.). Anyhoo, while I would like to be magnanimous here, I can't be. I draw a clear distinction between working at a national grocery store chain and a fast food restaurant. I couldn't do a fast food worker (I know... I'm a piece of shit too for drawing an arguably arbitrary line, but...I own it.). #teamGeoffrey and #teamtraderjoes. BTW, 50 is not ancient. I'd be willing to stake a grip that my Black is every bit as impermeable as the rest of you who are 34 or 35+ years of old.

 

....BUT....

If he is a cashier / bagger / fast food worker making $15 hr vs working in a factory or call center making $10-$12; how are these other positions "better"?

 

PS. I have dated a 35 year old who works at my local Trader Joe’s. He is half Polynesian and Black and was super since and sweet and had an on point sex game. He worked there for the flexibility they gave him - as he was freelance journalist and worked there for the benefits. He also loved it. So yes, i would date a 50 year old who worked there.

 

This is where that context comes in. Your uncle sounds perfectly happy in his position. Now if you, where you are in your life, dont want to 'date your uncle', that's perfectly fine. You can't knock someone IF they require a certain amount of ambition, especially if it's on par w their own. We ALL know gay men who'd rather be single than to NOT be a part of a gay status couple...

That said, there's nothing wrong with 'what someone does for a living' taking a back seat to a bunch of other factors, like ___, ___, and ___. My Dr friend (who makes the most of all my friends, but is tighter than a virgin w a dollar...) couldn't care less if his dude worked as a sharecropper in 2018 as long as he ain't trying to share his wallet.

I don't think there's a such thing as a wrong answer here. It's literally a case of 'to each his own '. The important part is ppl separating their own biases from standards, and owning them if they still sit will with them.

 

At face value, no. The general assumption is that a 50 yr old working in those positions is at an education/social level that you've 'surpassed' (I obvs use this term cynically). That could very well be the case. But that's the problem with trying to remove context and make it a blk and white question. He could be there for a myriad of reasons. Some might cause you to make an 'exception', if you will.

The other thing that gets glossed over is ppls perceptions of 'the help'. Even if this guy makes $20/hr (whichever store Geoffrey Owens worked at pays that, which still isnt a lot in NY, but that's not the point), because he's working in a service position, there's an extra layer of judgement cast upon him that a guy making $14 in a call center, or $17 as a receptionist, is less likely to receive. Hell, (gay stereotype/associations aside, and considering the obvs perks) there are many ppl who judge flight attendants, simply because it's a service/support position.

To each his own tho.

 

Your attitude pretty much sums it up for me. Being in fed govt, most folk my age got good paying jobs and look nice in that financial, on-paper, kind of way BUT are intellectually vacant, culturally shallow and stupid as fuck. In the words of the old Sex Pistols song “Pretty Vacant.” I judge people by their “mens rea” (shout out to @Sean P lol), that is, what is your mindset/goal/intent in life, not your wallet or CV on paper per se.

if you’re 50 and at some position because you’re mad at the world and didn’t apply yourself and have no vision or conception about life, ok we can’t be friends. We would have nothing to talk or socialize about. However, like your dude, you’re working at Trader Joe’s because it helps you to reach other GOALS (in his case, writing); or you just actually like the low-paying gig but you still pay your way in life to your ability; or you’re just a REAL MAN who is going to take care of yourself and your family by legal hook or crook (Geoffrey Owens) you’ll always have a cheerleader in me.

I don’t have time for shallow ass niggers, gay or straight. That’s why I avoid church niggas (90% of my relatives) like the plague. After reading E. Franklin Frazier’s classic “Black Bourgeoisie” as a college freshman, I swore off shallow ass niggas, for life. Negroes will quote MLK and “content of character” all day long then get get their grubby ass little fingers tweeting about a formerly famous black man with a work ethic and sense of pride bagging groceries. Like I said before, I love us black folk in theory, but the reality is fucking stench most times.

 

I think it's totally fair to place what conditions one would need to be met to date someone who is bagging groceries.

Let's say it's not even Trader Joe's but a regional chain or smaller chain like Piggly Wiggly or Winn Dixie. I think if one is going to at least consider dating someone in their 50s, asking them or trying to understand what lead them to this level of employment is reasonable. Based on that then one can decide if those reasons are valid enough for them to proceed.

We have various non pc reasons why we don't date guys....don't have degrees, don't have good credit scores, hiv positive, uses Android, puts the toilet paper up underhand fashion, got 4 baby mamas, lives with their mama, got 2 roommates Etc. So let's shame it all if want to shame it.