BGC: Black Gay Coons

Cooning is about more than just exagerrated stereotypes. A black person that portrays stereotypical characteristics isn't necessarily a coon. In particular, black cooning is a way of illustrating black people in a way that is more palatable to white audiences. They want to see black people as existing solely for the use of white people. They're subservient and always follow orders. Like a slave. A modern day coon acts in a way to seek acceptance by the oppressor, white people. Someone like Don Lemon says the things that white people want to hear. "Racism is black peoples' fault. If we just pulled up our pants and stopped listening to that hippity-hop, everything would be fine." Likewise, the same can be said for flamboyant and effeminate men. In many ways, they aren't seeking acceptance from the oppressor. In fact, it almost seems like they're challenging it by going against what people would deem to be as "acceptable behavior." Gay coons as described in this article can exist. If they're sole purpose is to act as comedic relief and to entertain straight audiences without a multi dimensional look into their story, then I would agree. But acting in a stereotypical manner in itself, doesn't make one a coon. There's a lot of nuance.

 

Masculine Black gay men men, hell masculine gay men, are threats. Straight men see us as just a powerful and possibly want to conquer them sexually. I'll give Fleece Johnson of Lockup fame for example. A masculine man who told people on national television that he "loves booty" and that it was the most important thing in the world. So all these swole up masculine gay men are threats to the straight man because we could potentially treat them the same way they do women.

"Hey man, why you running down the street alone with no shirt on? Dripping with sweat? You gotta man? "

As long as straight men don't fear feminine gays they don't have a problem unless they have some internalized homophobia.

As for ladies, they see us as mates they lost out on and the fem gays as good girlfriends.

I admit that I watch the Ratchet train wreck that is RHOA. Sue me. Lol I'll reference the reunion show that aired the other day. Kenya Moore made a comment to Andy Cohen about things going into his mouth. She'd NEVER would have said that to a more masculine gay man because she knows she could not get away with it. Andy actually got a little upset about it from what I could tell. I think he felt disrespected and rightfully so, partly because he's their boss on the show at least.

I do feel a lot of the fem leaning gays want to be accepted by straight women. Sitting up and talking about men or telling the women about their sexual conquests or being their Downlow Detectives. But almost every time, behind these guys' backs, those same women will talk about them calling them every "fag" and "honey punk" in the book.

But I hear people saying dudes are too swole, big, tall, fine etc to be gay many times. As if all of us should be waif thin ugly limp wristed types. As a gay man of course I'd be looking for masculine men. Why would I want someone who is frail and a lady boy?

 

I get the sense that this is what goes on in my job. I've never hidden the fact that I'm gay, but I also don't advertise it. Those who know, know. But with the dudes, I sense a lot more apprehension and "distance" from me than they are with the more "obviously" gay guys. It annoys the f#$k outta me. On the one hand, I'm here to work, not to make friends, but on the other hand, I'de like to have a little work clique of straight male friends to hang out with sometimes.

 

"As if all of us should be waif thin ugly limp wristed types" "Why would I want someone who is frail and a lady boy?"

B!TCH, WHET????!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!

 

And what's crazy is I'd prefer to do the geeky nerdy, straight stuff! Dragon con and black gay pride is same weekend. Which do you think holds my interest more?

I have nothing against women and I'm not a lady hating gay man at all. What I don't like are fake women....fake people. And you can usually tell who the real women who don't use gay men as personal stylists, shopping partners or workerbees.

These fem guys don't have to look for validation and acceptance from fake broads.

 

While that may be partially true, a general mistrust of masculine gay men doesn't negate the myriad of challenges more effeminate gay men face. I would argue that society has more animosity towards gender non-conforming people than gender confirming masculine gay men. Look at homicide rates for gender non-conforming gay men and transwomen, who are often mislabeled as gay men, as one example. To a less extreme extent, look at how gender is policed. "I'm okay with you being gay, just don't 'flaunt' it." "Don't come around wearing dresses and makeup" "You're still a guy, act like one."

My point being, if effeminate gay men are acting that way solely for comedic value or the entertainment of straight people, then it can be coonery. Otherwise, it's really hard to believe that general effeminacy is coonery when such behavior is vilified and deemed unacceptable by the larger society.

 

Well said bro....

 

This article is one that black gay fem men need to read and talk about, media is a very powerful thing and if used the wrong way it can be used as a means of control. To be honest i actually agree with Ocky (for once, lol) but seriously i do agree that fem acting gay men really don't look comfortable and i'm pretty sure something in their heads is always getting at them about why they feel that being over-effeminate is the "right thing" to do. It is so stupid that fem gay men will attack and question non-stop the masculine gay men but aren't the masculine gay men what the fem gays chase down for sex, love and relationship? see where the confusion is with all of this, such bullshit with that logical thinking. media is one hell of a drug

 

I've actually shared the same picture on my Facebook page, by the same group. It was REALLY interesting to me because I've never heard or even thought of the term "Gay Coon." But the shoe does fit when you mentioned Antoine and Blain from In Living Color, and wherever these types of dudes are. I really like the fact that they brought this up and made this statement because not every gay man has to be that effeminate. Hell, not every man is effeminate anyways. And I thank you Ocky and Nick for this website.

 

I had the exact opposite experience many, many, many years back when I had bull$h!t job and I was open about who I was.
I was more accepted and well regarded than our many flamboyant and overtly gay fellow employees.
The general consensus was that it was because I was just me.
The straight and sometimes very attractive straight from the homo hating hood dudes became comfortable around me because I wasn't acting like I wanted a husband and wasn't talking at their crotches like the other gay dudes and if we went drinking or hanging out, they also learned that I wasn't trying to drunk sneak hit on them.
More than a few, both male and female would say that before they met me, had never previously liked gays (the less nice f word was usually used) and were surprised to find out that I was because I didn't fit in with what they all knew of as gay.

 

I'm sure you've heard this before but I'll say it again, masculine black gay men should stop being afraid and come out of the closet. That would go a long way towards giving straight folks a different perception of who many black gay men are. Maybe more importantly, it would give a lot of younger (and perhaps older) black gay men/boys a different idea about how to conduct themselves. If you're not a part of the solution you're part of the problem.

 

I have a couple of additional thoughts about "black gay cooning". During the Jim Crow period, black cooning was about making white people laugh so that maybe they wouldn't beat/kill/lynch you. Some of that dynamic comes into play with "black gay cooning" today. Black gay men are Public Enemy #1 in the minds of many, if not most, straight black people these days. If you don't believe me, ask Marquez Tolbert and his boyfriend Anthony Gooden. They are the black gay men who were both BOILED alive for being gay last month by Gooden's mother's boyfriend, Martin Blackwell. Blackwell threw hot scalding water on Tolbert and Gooden while they were both sleeping in bed. Blackwell was disgusted to see two gay men sleeping together. And don't forget Brandon White, a black gay man, who was beaten by four black men a few years back. Interestingly, both of these incidents took place in the "black gay mecca" of Atlanta, Georgia. These are just two of the most notorious examples of black homophobia run amuck. These vicious attacks by straight black people against us have a "chilling effect" on black gay men everywhere. Different kinds of black gay men deal with this homophobic violence in different ways. Those black gay men who are "masculine" can choose to stay safe in their closets, while they pontificate about black gay men who are obviously and/or openly gay (masculine closeted black gay men don't "have" to coon BECAUSE they are presumed to be straight). Black gay men who are obviously/openly gay are the ones who are in the direct line of black homophobic fire. They are the ones who might feel they "have" to coon and, if they do, they do it for the same reasons that some black people cooned when Jim Crow was the law/custom: to keep from being humiliated, attacked or killed. In other words, cooning is a survival strategy for certain kinds of black gay men.

 

Ugh! I was literally having a conversation about this with one of my friends. She asked how I would 'classify' myself and asked me if I could give her an example of a man fitting my mannerisms in the main stream media. I told her I couldn't because there are NONE, as every gay man you see in the media is a damn sissy...And what's worse is that this behavior is learned, its not inherent, it never is. I just saw a video of a mother encouraging her young son in the art of being a black gay coon.....ugh..... And lastly...I see this a LOT more frequently since I've moved to ATL...which shouldn't be a surprise to me...but it is lol

 

There is truth to this. My coming out process was a slow but gradual one. My parents were first, of course, and their response as that 'at least you're not running around here like some fairy.' I was offended at first but then after I started to see all the fairies running around I knew what they meant- that I carried myself like a man, the way I was raised to. When I started coming out to my friends, many of them who are women were like shocked because I 'didn't act gay'. The interesting thing is that a lot of my fem friends always credit me as being 'passable'. Whatever..... lol

 

Actually, I kiiiinda get what he's saying. It's similar to the "fat kid" in school that constantly make jokes about their own weight, that way they sorta beat everyone else to the punch. I guess in a way, {some} fem dudes could be being "extra" as a means of defense. Like they might as well be as "out there" as possible, because they can't hide it one way or another, and just hope it'll provide as a distraction that diverts attention by drawing attention.

 

Competition. LOL

 

Nah, the Competition is a totally different thing from the Deflection. LMAO Deflection is about survival, but The Competition....The Competition is 'bout that LIFE hunty!! They HAVE to one up each other in a group. There can only be ONE Queen B, the others either get decapitated or ousted. LMFAO

 

And for an example of this, see BGC.

 

Regarding my comment of several days ago, sometimes an idea that made sense in your head doesn't translate when you put it out there for public consumption. But to the subject of this thread, if you ask ten hyper-effeminate black gay men why they do what they do you will probably get ten (at least) different answers. There's a saying "don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes". Moving on, you said: "this fallacy that masculine closeted or masculine out gay men have it easy is lame". Me: The following is a sincere comment/question. I have never said that masculine out gay men have it easy nor do I believe that. I also have never said that masculine closeted gay men have it easy, although I can see where you might think that I suggested that. But masculine closeted gay men can at least go to the grocery store (and anywhere else) without being harassed by homophobic straight people. A clockable gay man (a gay man who is 'soft', maybe, but not hyper-effeminate) does NOT have the same freedom of movement masculine closeted gay men have. Masculine closeted gay men have their issues, as we all do, but since they can "pass for straight" don't they get treated as if they actually were straight? I hope this comment/question makes sense. I know you will let me know if it doesn't. lol

 

I really want to thank you for your analysis and the compassion behind it.

 

SPOILER ALERT: Black Gay Man who Many of You Might think is not Masculine Enough to breathe air is about to Defend his Sissy sisters.......It's like on Cypher Avenue the enemy is effeminacy versus the enemy being homophobia. Do you care about the lives of effeminate gay black men (because those are your people too) or is it about how their 'images' hurt your identity? Every time I read one of these articles and then their comments - I think of gay friends of mine who are effeminate - who are wonderfully creative - see life in ways nobody does - create some of the funniest and poignant language to describe black and gay life. Effeminate black gay men are no more flamboyant to me than their gay masculine counterparts or their straight counterparts. Are you telling me that tax payers building stadiums so several dozen men can play around with balls, we have entire industries to cheer them on - to bet on them - our national business has to come to a standstill so we can celebrate their physical prowess. The whole damn straight world is one huge production - talking about throwing it in our faces. Watching the election? Huh? That is a tournament of coons and their collaborators. That's flamboyant! Masculinity is full of performances, one of it's favorite performances is its longstanding policing of femininity in men. Femininity is a powerful sacred force that can inhabit anyone - and is divine. Funny how enraging and disappointing it is for it's enemies.

 

This is a very interesting topic, and I believe your intuitions are right that this will produce a large-scale conversation among the black gay audience. I have seen this picture shared before, but never read too much into it because I do not fit the stereotype myself.
I have battled with my opinion on masculinity vs femininity for a long time. When I was younger with no male influence around, my mannerisms and interests were very feminine; however, I hated femininity because I knew that is not how a man is supposed to act. As I grew older (I'm 22 now), I left those attributes behind and became a very chill, laid-back dude. When I started interacting with members of the LGBT community, I noticed the anti-masculinity propaganda going on, especially with gay, black men. They're called DL, assumed to have AIDS, and labeled "insecure" or being "fake" because they do not fit the limp-wristed stereotype of what a gay, black man should be. We are so quick to demean our masculine brothers, yet they're the first ones we look for when we log onto Jack'D.
In the context of the white supremacy conversation and what cooning is, I agree with another poster who says that cooning is behaving in a way that appeases the "powers-that-be" and entertains them. The reason why feminine men (straight or gay) are seen as coons is because they are more likely to be complacent and docile in the face of the enemy. Masculine black men are a threat to the system because they will work in a fearless effort to combat evil which is not a character that will be promoted on the modern-day minstrel stage (Hollywood). Remember, white supremacy wants the black community to be docile like pet dogs, and not aggressive and dignified like wolves. They will continue to promote effeminate gay men, simpish-acting straight men, pussy-worshipping losers, or self-destructive HYPER-masculine thugs because they are antagonistic to the traditional masculine image.
One of the reasons why I like Cypher Avenue because it is the first building block I've seen to give masculine gay men a "safe space", and allow us to affirm ourselves against the continuous bashing from the LGBT community. My biggest fear for the site is that masculine-hating gay men, or the forever-bitter trans community, will log on and continue their man-bashing campaign like they do on other black, gay forum sites.

 

Have you been to any of the main stream gay sites or black gay sites and questioned them about their lack of or total exclusion of masculine representation? Or are masculine homosexual men irrelevant because we are not gay enough to matter? I know to most gays, homophobia is the only enemy to gayness however there is a whole world outside of that mainstream gay bubble narrative. Racism and white supremacy for me is a greater enemy.[/QUOTE]

Sorry dude, but you're David Otunga in my mind, now LOL

 

Well, this is your site, it has an aim and goal that you articulate well. It's not for everyone. It's not for me. Dap away dudes.

 

@Ockydub
@ControlledXaos