Dating a Co-worker

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by tigerbreaux, Nov 12, 2015.

  1. tigerbreaux

    tigerbreaux Polymath In-training
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    Question: Would you/ have you date(d) a co-worker? If so, how'd that turn out and would you do it again?

    For me, I think it depends on the size of the employer in question, the level of compatibility/attractiveness to said co-worker, and whether or not my employer has a no fraternization policy.

    Sidenote: I think I might've just gone on one today, not too sure. I work for the federal government, so co-worker could be a very broad term. We work for the same agency, we used to work in the same division (same floor, different work group so we weren't technically co-workers), but now he works for a different division entirely and on a different floor. I randomly saw him for the first time since he switched divisions a few days ago and he complemented me on my beard and said it made me look distinguished. I relationship has always been cordial at best, exchanging witty banter every now and then, but I don't really know him like that, so I was wondering if he was hitting on me.

    Later on that day I sent him an email to see if he wanted to grab lunch today and talk about work related stuff, just to see and feel him out. Lunch was primarily focused on the reason I asked him there, but we got into personal convo slightly. He even said he would invite me to a couple of events with his friends, since he knows I haven't been here long and don't know many people. He even suggested I join his intramural soccer league. Lunch ended up being 2 hours. At the end of it I gave him my number. Still not quite sure what happened, but I'll see I guess.
     
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  2. Michael

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    As long as there is no fraternization policy I don't see the issue once you get to know them better. Last thing you want is a "situation" at the work place. On the flip side of that, I have a few friends that have met, dated and then ended up married. Not that that's your goal with this, but basically just to say you never know what it may lead to.
     
  3. Kouncelor

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    It really depends on
    1. The company policy
    2. The individuals personality (are they a drama in the office kind of person?)
    3. How close do we work together? Are they a subordinate or superior?

    While none of these are absolutes, they are factors to think about. I dated a co worker in the same office briefly. They got a little crazy and it off. Fortunately, we didn't work near each other.. and we were both professionals, so no issues.

    So would I do it again? It depends.
     
  4. grownman

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    I guess that I am "ole skool," and that would be a serious HELL NAW. However, it is easy for me to say that when I have never been in that situation.
     
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  5. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I have never dated or had sex with a coworker and would never do it. My motto is, "don't shit where you eat." If things go bad you'll still may have to see this individual regularly if not every day. At the very least it can make your work life uncomfortable at the worst it can threaten your employment especially if the relationship becomes abusive or ends on a sour note.
     
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  6. ControlledXaos

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    I'm mad Y'all had a two hour lunch.
     
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  7. ControlledXaos

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    I have a had Co workers I want to see with no clothes on but not badly enough to actually do so. People get wierd at work. I don't even want to socialize outside of work with Co workers because you never know what can bite you on the azz later.

    Or you out at a corporate function that includes drinking and you driving home a toe up coworker and next thing you know... Bow chick a wow wow.

    This is going to happen in 4 weeks at these office holiday parties. Watch.
     
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  8. acessential

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    I don't see anything wrong with it as long as there's no fraternization policy and y'all don't work too closely together. Its hard enough meeting people. Realistically, work is going to be your primary dating pool since you spend the majority of your day there. You don't always have time to meet people outside of work. I say go for it. I would.
     
  9. NickAuzenneNOLA

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    I have and it wasnt a terrible experience but there was an uncomfortable feeling after the relationship went south. I think the best thing is to weigh the value of the relationship, if it has a true future, and rather that future is worth possibly losing your position. Sometimes it can end up being an infatuation due to spending so much time around one another.
     
  10. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    I've learned the hard way to not date co-workers, customers, or anyone that can affect my money. @tigerbreaux your situation is different since you both don't actually work in the same department or see each other often. On the other hand though, I'm often hesitant to date people even in my same field because as black men the work community is small, six degrees of seperation is real.
     
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  11. BlackguyExecutive

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    Mixing business and pleasure can be disastrous....

    [​IMG]
     
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  12. SB3

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    I think its all relative. The go to answer is no, but work environments vary, and don't always include office politics. So, u never know.
     
  13. DoubleG

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    Just like everyone who posted before, it really does depend on the company and their stance on workplace relationships. Lucky for me my former job didn't have such a policy in place. This dude I was eyeing kept flirting on the low and I eventually bit into the apple and we went out. We dated for a short while and then it quickly fizzled out.

    Even though no "major drama" happened after it was over. I don't think I would ever date another co-worker. Not saying never, but there was something...or maybe even a feeling of "this is too close to home" that I didn't like. The best way I can describe it; I like to keep personal business away from the workplace. With that being said, I found that I wasn't 100% myself with this dude. So for me, in the long run it wasn't going to work out because I couldn't fully relax and turn the work mode off.
     
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  14. DreG

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    I don't really like my co-workers involved in my personal life so I'd say no.I'd hate to go through a rough patch or a bad break-up and still ahve to look in that muthaf**ka's face every day.
     
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  15. Tyroc

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    I'd not take the risk unless the vibe between me and the co-worker was what I'd have to consider perfect and truly believed that they could be the "one".
     
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  16. DoubleG

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    #Truth
     
  17. Dr. Strange

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    Lol, so much politics. I, personally don't scoff any chance, co-worker or not. It it goes south, as adults we should be able to deal with it.
     
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  18. Tyroc

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    In a perfect world I agree that both individuals should be able to handle it if goes south but I see quite a lot of the opposite.
     
  19. Dr. Strange

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    The world doesn't have to be perfect. Since we as gay black men have to deal with so much stuff already, I personally don't rate dealing with something like this as particulary difficult.
     
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  20. Dante

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    I would avoid doing so, simply to avoid office gossip and all that comes with it. I definitely would avoid doing so, especially when office gossip and "putting 2 and 2 together" assumptions breathe life into an HR issue that someone can easily execute.
     
  21. Rah Brown

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    I've dated a co-worker before it was a bit different because it was a private company. It started off good in the beginning, but for some reason after a while all our conversations always had something to do with work. Towards the end of us dating, the fire started to go out. It was one of those we should've just never passed the friend zone situations. With all that said that situation turned me away from ever having any type of work related relationship.
     
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