Does It Get Better for Gay Guys Who Happen to Be Overweight?

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Infinite_loop, Sep 4, 2016.

Best Posts in Thread
Page 1 of 2
  1. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2015
    Messages:
    782
    Daps Received:
    2,763
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK
    Orientation:
    SGL
    Does It Get Better for Gay Guys Who Happen to Be Overweight?

    Gabe J.*, 33
    [​IMG]
    Gabe J.
    Source: Gabe J.
    Gabe J. recently sent his first shirtless sext, too. And, like me, his journey to the shirtless selfie was a lifelong one. Gabe told me that being big, gay and Asian has meant dealing with all of his identities and their different cultural perceptions of being overweight. Gabe, a Wisconsin resident and Midwesterner since birth, said growing up and entering the gay community meant learning quickly that there are schema for acceptable, normal bodies: the cis hairless twink, the sorta-hairy hunk or the gym bunny. And, growing into his gay identity has meant refusing to hold standards put upon him by his own community.

    "I had to disidentify myself with white culture, gay culture and cultures of acceptable bodies," Gabe told Mic. "And, you know, that's a fucking ton of work."

    As a queer brown boy, Gabe didn't see anybody on TV, on newsstands or elsewhere who acted as a model for him. The first time he saw someone living a life that he hoped to live one day was in a church youth group he attended. The mentor, Gabe remembered, was a gorgeous, gay man of size.

    "I was blown the fuck away," Gabe said. "I was like, 'Wait, are you gay? And you're this gorgeous big hairy dude? What?"

    [​IMG]
    Source: Mic/Getty Images
    Even more surprising to Gabe than finding a role model was the first time someone called him sexy. Gabe told me that his therapist once said that eventually someone would say it, but Gabe didn't believe him. He thought he was paid to say that kind of thing.


    The first time someone told Gabe he was the sexiest man in the room, he was in a gay bar in Michigan. He was stunned.

    "I hated that I was so shocked by that," he said. "It's such a nice feeling, but it's unfortunate that that had to be such a surprise to me."

    Robert Lopez, 37
    [​IMG]
    Source: Robert Lopez
    Robert Lopez had similar disbeliefs about the trajectory of his life. Lopez began to gain weight rapidly when he was about 8 years old. It wasn't until decades later that a doctor told him he probably gained weight because of undiagnosed sleep apnea.

    By the time he came out at 14, his family accepted him, and he was happy, except for the nagging issue of his weight.

    "I was like, 'Oh my God, I'm fat, I'm never going to have a boyfriend, I'm never going to have sex,'" Lopez told Mic. "I was soconcerned because I had never seen someone overweight and gay."

    On Lopez's 25th birthday, he was out at a club and a potential suitor approached him. The man put his hand on Lopez's stomach and said, "If you lost this, you'd be sexy."

    "I said, 'You know what, motherfucker, I am sexy' and I threw a drink in his face," Lopez said. "I can't let people decide how I feel about myself. It was this epiphany moment, and it was like, 'You know what, I am sexy.'"

    [​IMG]
    Source: Mic/Getty Images
    In fact, Lopez said, it wasn't until he was 30 that he attended an event in the bear community — a community of gay men who are usually larger, taller and hairier than one might find in the mainstream gay community. Lopez said his whole world changed then, but that it's still not without its pressures.

    "Are you a big boy? Are you a big boy with muscle? Are you a total chub?" Lopez explained. "There's this hierarchy, and it depends on who you are and who you're interested in dating."

    The bear community, Lopez explained, like all subcommunities, is not immune to negativity. While it has been a refuge for almost every person I interviewed, it's also come with its own weird set of expectations about who you can date, whatever size you have to be.


    Many respondents told Mic that the bear community was a surprising, welcoming refuge from spaces that might have been less friendly to their weight. But, many also said that there are very few sexual or romantic depictions of big men.

    Who are the visibly gay, overweight men out there? You can almost count them on one hand — there's Cam on Modern Family (played by straight actor Eric Stonestreet), perennial left-of-center-square comedic writer Bruce Vilanch and intern-no-more Ross Mathews. Though each talented in their own right, none were ever explicitly sexual or sexualized. Perhaps only the sexual portrayal of a man of size is Daniel Franzese's HIV-positive bear character on HBO's Looking, who is allowed to be tender, romantic, attractive and wanted.

    Source: YouTube
    Luis Diaz, 27
    Luis Diaz said that the scarcity of media portrayals of gay men of size can send messages to younger men that there's only one right way to be gay. Diaz said that this lack of visibility of husky gay men has had an immediate mental impact on him, a person whose weight has fluctuated throughout the years.



    [​IMG]
    Source: Luis Diaz
    According to Diaz, these messages about what a gay guy looks like manifest in how gay men treat each other in person and on dating apps. Of course, we know Grindr is a hotbed of racism and even anti-Islamic sentiment — but, hey, it's sizeist, too, according to Diaz.

    A few years back, Diaz went on a date with a man he met on Grindr in Florida. While the date went well enough in person, when he went back home, the man messaged him with a simple offer: "Hey! If you need a fitness instructor, let me know."

    "I didn't ask for his opinion," Diaz said. "It was very unwarranted."

    Diaz is currently in a relationship where he says his partner loves him at his current size. But during his single years, the bars were often unwelcoming to people of his size, he said. Diaz also said he's found refuge in the bear scene. But when he does enter mainstream spaces, he often has to arm himself with his own personal mantra.


    "When I go back to bars on the west side in midtown [Manhattan], where I've felt uncomfortable, in my head, I have to say to myself, 'You're loved, you have an awesome partner, you have great friends, you're good,'" he said. "I walk into these clubs with that mentality, like 'I'm here to have fun.'"

    Samuel Colón, 37


    [​IMG]
    Source: Samuel Colón
    Samuel Colón told me that he was able to be confident about his own body when he first went out into a mainstream gay space. His secret? He learned about his body as a straight man: He dated women until he was 21. According to Colón, living as straight let him operate without any problems with his weight.

    "When you date girls, it's not such a hang-up to be overweight," Colón told Mic. "I always find that weird, how gay men have such high standards, but in the heterosexual world, there isn't that pressure put on men."

    In fact, Colón was surprised the first time he stepped foot into a mainstream white gay bar. There was a pervading culture of slim body worship that turned him off. He said it wasn't until he dated a man of size that he learned about bear culture and body positivity within the gay community.

    "I'm the first guy to make a fat joke," Colón said. "Once you do that, you take the power away from somebody else. Now, it's not the elephant in the room anymore."

    [​IMG]
    Source: Mic/Getty Images
    Colón said that his confidence with being his own weight has put him in a position to be a lot of people's "first fat experience." And, it also attracts a lot of what men of size would call "chubby chasers." As long as they're respectful, Colón is a fan.

    Colón described the first time he was with a person who appreciated his size. "I didn't have to keep my wife beater on," he said. "They insisted on seeing every crevice of my body. So I really felt like I was being made love to for who I was entirely and for more than just my sexual organs. To really make love to someone is to enjoy every single inch of them."

    Raul Quintero, 35


    [​IMG]
    Source: Raul Quintero
    Raul Quintero spoke to me about what happens when the search for that feeling of being appreciated for your size can go to extremes. Quintero spent a few months in gainer and feeder culture, where men worship men with big bellies, and some go to extremes to gain weight. Quintero has seen videos of men eating lard and funneling gallons of milk into their partners' guts — because of a sexual attraction to bellies. Quintero, who is now on a fitness journey but used to weight about 270 pounds, told Mic that he went on these gainer-feeder sites in search of potential dates, but decided it wasn't for him.


    He met men who brought him to restaurants just to share in the experience of watching him eat. With one man, Quintero made a list of restaurants where he wanted to eat in Los Angeles and his date would bring him there and watch him eat."These guys, they loved my body, they loved my big fat belly," Quintero told Mic. "People weren't even into sex."

    Even within that world, Quintero said, there was pressure to look a certain way and he had been turned down for not being large enough.

    Matthew Johnson, 32
    Matthew Johnson told me that the fear of being overweight started at home. Comments from his family members, even his own mother, who is a fitness instructor, fueled this fear.

    "The way she'd speak about people [who were overweight] was the way people might talk about someone who was a criminal or someone who was deathly ill," Johnson told Mic. This led to a fear of being fat in childhood. Even that his name rhymed with "fat" was a lot for Johnson to handle as a child.

    [​IMG]
    Source: Mic/Getty Images
    Though Johnson said he would later find sexual partners who appreciated him for his size, it was still a fraught experience. His own problems with his weight didn't allow him to enjoy the experiences. Though Johnson describes himself as "bear adjacent," he credits experiences in the New York City bear community with a better body self-image.

    "That was something that definitely made me feel a lot better about myself," he said. "I understood how I could socially be my size. I wasn't just an erotic object."

    Johnson said that, for a while, he refused to go into bars that weren't size-friendly. He'd only go to gay bars where he knew he wouldn't be the biggest person in the room, so that his tendency to compare his size with others wouldn't hinder him from having a good time.


    "Everyone would turn and look at me like, 'Oh, somebody got lost' or 'Are we getting raided?'" he said. "And I know that nobody was thinking this. They're not thinking about me. They're thinking about themselves, so I guess, you know, it took me a while, and now I can go to any gay bar and not really care."

    Yes, each story is unique. But each story is also wildly universal in regards to self- and society-produced fat anxiety. Physical weight is not always the problem — sometimes, it's the mental weight that accompanies it.

    That's the anxiety that I felt the day I got the request for a shirtless selfie. In the end, the man who received the text loved it — a lot. So whatever bundle of insecurities that flared up in my stomach was quelled for the moment.

    But there will come another time when I have to be naked in front of someone, or walk into a bar of unfriendly hotties or assert my sexuality as a man with a few extra pounds. And to get there, I only have one thing to shed — shame.

    Full Article here:
     
    #1 Infinite_loop, Sep 4, 2016
    jpo, Jdudre, acessential and 2 others dapped this.
  2. mojoreece

    mojoreece
    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,381
    Daps Received:
    2,929
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NC
    I've said this in past post that "overweight" is kind of loaded term. It depends on how dude carries the weight. An athletic overweight person is built differently (mostly have more muscular frame) than a overweight couch potato. It may be superficial but It also depends on how dude's face looks like. I've been obese and still need lose more so I get where their coming from. Because of that I won't even start dating until I lose weight (in addition to other things). I could never discriminate just on weight size though; unless they on some tlc 600lb life level stuff. But a I can see how these men prob would not be accepted into gay mainstream culture for being overweight. In gay mainstream you have to be either have to have the body of a hairless twink or steroid raging bodybuilder.
     
    #2 mojoreece, Sep 4, 2016
    Winston Smith dapped this.
  3. Winston Smith

    Winston Smith is a Featured MemberWinston Smith
    Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    May 6, 2016
    Messages:
    2,017
    Daps Received:
    5,479
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nowhere in Particular
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    There's somebody out there for everybody and anybody. When you look past the crowd and live your own life, you actually see a lot of happy couples or people out there. It's the ones that feel they must conform to some norm (as you point out) that will actually end up miserable.

    I wouldn't wait until you get to a desired size to date IF that's holding you back from dating. You'll actually find, as trite as it might sound, the guys that appreciate you as you are HERE, NOW are the ones you'd want to be with personality/interest wise anyway. On the other end, there are guys who actually like bigger dudes as a fetish, "chubby chasers." That is just as wrong to me, as well, as you're reducing dude to a "type" bypassing the person/personality (sort of like white gays who want a black guy just for the assumed BBC). If dude loses weight, does he then cease to be a human being? In the end, big or small, you're left with the values, interests, personality that make a human being. Regardless of race, age, size, etc. you can only smash so many minutes in a day. What do you do with the other 20-something hours left in a day?
     
    #3 Winston Smith, Sep 4, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2016
    jpo, BlackguyExecutive, Jdudre and 3 others dapped this.
  4. Nigerian Prince

    Nigerian Prince is a Featured MemberNigerian Prince
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    34
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,551
    Daps Received:
    3,474
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta, Georgia
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Single
    Big dudes can get with big dudes. There are slimmer dudes who like a bit extra on their men. There is someone out there for everyone.
     
    #4 Nigerian Prince, Sep 4, 2016
  5. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    I've said before in a podcast that I didn't think twice about body image and all that until I started to dive into the "gay lifestyle." Even the heavier gay men go out of their way to cat-call and lust after the super slim six-packed and muscular dudes. Its good that some of the men in this article gained confidence within themselves, despite the obstacles.
     
    #5 Nick Delmacy, Sep 4, 2016
    ControlledXaos, Lancer, Nigerian Prince and 2 others dapped this.
  6. Winston Smith

    Winston Smith is a Featured MemberWinston Smith
    Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    May 6, 2016
    Messages:
    2,017
    Daps Received:
    5,479
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nowhere in Particular
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    The only thing disturbing to me is that gainer/feeder thing. I hadn't even imagined or fathomed something like that until my friend told me he had a homeboy who was the gainer partner in such a relationship and that it ultimately killed the guy because of weight related illness. So, it's one thing to accept your body weight but you gotta beware of people who take it to the fetish realm.
     
    #6 Winston Smith, Sep 5, 2016
    Nigerian Prince dapped this.
  7. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Women don't get any love for being out of shape, so why should guys?

    My dude doesn't need 6 pack abs, but, Spade, meet spade, n call him by his name.
     
    #7 SB3, Sep 5, 2016
    alton and Nigerian Prince dapped this.
  8. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    We get older, so what? Im ready to rub my 'good dude's belly all day.
     
    #8 SB3, Sep 5, 2016
    Jdudre, Winston Smith and Nigerian Prince dapped this.
  9. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    My comments may be seen as contradictions, but ijs. Stop acting like there's something wrong w a guy w a nice body! We all 'respond' to it. But, my man can have a lil belly on him, ijs.
     
    #9 SB3, Sep 5, 2016
    Winston Smith and Nigerian Prince dapped this.
  10. Nigerian Prince

    Nigerian Prince is a Featured MemberNigerian Prince
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    34
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,551
    Daps Received:
    3,474
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta, Georgia
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Single
    I concur. A little bit but not too much. Let's call a spade a spade
     
    #10 Nigerian Prince, Sep 5, 2016
    SB3 dapped this.
  11. alton

    alton is a Featured Memberalton
    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,794
    Daps Received:
    2,781
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    True dat. On the real, it is a lot worse for gay dudes tho. LOL
     
    #11 alton, Sep 5, 2016
    Jdudre dapped this.
  12. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    I think thats all based on 'gay pressure'. I apprecite n would date a guy next door, in a heartbeat. But esp when u live in gay bubbles like Atl n DC, theres pressure to have a 6 pack. But us adults get it.
     
    #12 SB3, Sep 5, 2016
  13. cuspofbeauty

    cuspofbeauty
    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    40
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2015
    Messages:
    218
    Daps Received:
    564
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bronx, New York
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Of course it doesn't. The world is a superficial place and the gay world is just as worse. Fat gay men are the lowest on the totem pole.
     
    #13 cuspofbeauty, Sep 6, 2016
    alton dapped this.
  14. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Fat men are only the lowest on the gay totem pole.
     
    #14 SB3, Sep 6, 2016
    Jdudre and alton dapped this.
  15. alton

    alton is a Featured Memberalton
    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,794
    Daps Received:
    2,781
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    Especially when what we consider to be fat ("we" as in the gay populace in general, not necessarily "we" as in the CA Crew, although there are some on here that subscribe to the gay consensus) in most cases is just a "average" sized muhf#ka. But, that's the way of the world. We live in a IGM environment, ain't shit one can do about it except bust ya a$$ at the gym and hope that once you get in shape, that your face is up to the "gay standard" (at least with a nice body/ brick face you're assured some hook ups), or heaven forbid you got a lil d#$k, then you might as well hang it up. LOL
     
    #15 alton, Sep 7, 2016
  16. jusrawb

    jusrawb
    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2015
    Messages:
    295
    Daps Received:
    460
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    I thought I heard of a whole big guy gay community where there are events and prides. Get in where you fit in is how I see it.
     
    #16 jusrawb, Sep 7, 2016
  17. ControlledXaos

    ControlledXaos is a Featured MemberControlledXaos
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    48
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,551
    Daps Received:
    7,196
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanna
    I'm not the type of dude guys fawn after. I look decent. Ima 7 at the least but no one is trying to chase me. Maybe if I was 15 percent body fat sure but I know I'm no 10. I am OK with that. Im not Shabba Ranks or jj ice fish either.

    I think once you start to be confident in who you are and your body regardless it's fat level, you'll be OK. The inconvenient truth is, most, not all, gay men will accept a average body at worse and muscular at best. Some people fetish fat overweight dudes. Some men just like men in all shapes.

    But in general if you are over 20 percent body fat, you can expect more rejection letters than job offers. IJS.
     
    #17 ControlledXaos, Sep 7, 2016
    Jdudre, Infinite_loop and alton dapped this.
  18. alton

    alton is a Featured Memberalton
    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,794
    Daps Received:
    2,781
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    [​IMG]
     
    #18 alton, Sep 7, 2016
    ControlledXaos dapped this.
  19. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    I think there's a wide range of degrees to what "overweight" actually is...and I think there is also a wide range to what "rejection" is too.

    I've seen Gay men with that little lower belly pudge called "fat" in the community while Straight ppl call them too skinny. I've been working so much this year that I've gotten less active and eating poorly, so I put on some pounds...Gay culture got me thinking I'm overweight, yet my straight women co-works all say I'm still skinny/slim.

    Also, I've seen ppl think they're not desirable just because randoms don't give them the time of day on gay apps or gay clubs, places notoriously superficial and lacking of substance.

    Rejection AFTER a dude has gotten to know me always is more telling and self esteem damaging than not getting play from a random in a club or event like Lena Dunham or something.
     
    #19 Nick Delmacy, Sep 7, 2016
    Jdudre, mojoreece, I-Stay-Woke and 2 others dapped this.
  20. alton

    alton is a Featured Memberalton
    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,794
    Daps Received:
    2,781
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    100% AGREE with everything you said here (wow!) Thats why I changed my avatar to Fat Albert because thats how Ive been feeling, even tho physically I'm FAAAR from that, but in my head I'm a f#$kin Hippopotamus. I'm startin' with my Personal Trainer this comin Friday so, lets see how things play out.

    P.S. I LOVE when dudes have that little "paunchy" belly, I wanna rub it. LOL
     
    #20 alton, Sep 7, 2016
    Nick Delmacy dapped this.
  21. ControlledXaos

    ControlledXaos is a Featured MemberControlledXaos
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    48
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,551
    Daps Received:
    7,196
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanna
    True. It only really matters if you are expecting to get that attention. I could be hard on myself, as we are our own worse critics but TBH, I couldn't possibly care less about no one paying attention to me at 'da club' because I'm not competing for likes or followers or trying to get a lot of numbers. I think attention is nice, most people like to be noticed or hear they are attractive from people that they also find attractive but it's not going to make me stop eating Krispy Kreme because thick_boodee82atl isn't following me back on the gram.
     
    #21 ControlledXaos, Sep 7, 2016
    Nick Delmacy and alton dapped this.
  22. alton

    alton is a Featured Memberalton
    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,794
    Daps Received:
    2,781
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    [​IMG]
     
    #22 alton, Sep 7, 2016
    Jdudre and ControlledXaos dapped this.
  23. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    First, the point I was getn at, is the fact that Ive seen many a fly woman, on the arm of a good guy, w a few extra pounds. W the gays, half the time, big dudes have been told how 'fierce' they are, and what not, that they end up delusional enough to think that they have a shot w the Brazilian dude in the bikini draws, who is paid to be 'there'.

    I say all of the time, keep ur intentions, 'realistic'. Stay in ur damn lane!. No, mr. Brazilian pride model is prob not gonna be that damn into u!

    Hey, the vast majority think he's hot, and thats fine, cus mofos have eyes and peens that react to hot visuals, but the real problem is guys not being realistic abt what they bring to the table, and can/should expect to see on the other side.

    (I know, anything can happen, but yall get the point, so save it).
     
    #23 SB3, Sep 8, 2016
    mojoreece and Nick Delmacy dapped this.
  24. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    This is (sorta) the point I was trying to make too. Just because all of the hot models and personal trainers you hit-on reject you, that doesn't mean you are not attractive to others.

    At the same time, I'm not overweight and I don't know what its like to date as a heavier dude, so my point of view may be overly generalized and tinted with rose colored glasses.

    In fairness, I've seen heavier men reject other thick men like themselves, so @SB3's advice to "stay in your lane" fails to help those individuals who don't even bother with the Brazilian Pride Models yet STILL get rejected.
     
    #24 Nick Delmacy, Sep 8, 2016
    Jdudre and alton dapped this.
  25. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    U just reiterated my point. Thick dudes who dont like thick dudes. Short dudes who dont like short dudes. Skinny guys who dont like skinny guy. Lets put the nail into it n mention fem guys who dont like fem guys. Does anyone else own a damn mirror?
     
    #25 SB3, Sep 8, 2016
    Jdudre dapped this.
  26. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,759
    Daps Received:
    12,913
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    These be the main dudes tal'bout "I like what I like...I refuse to 'lower my standards'...I won't just date anyone."
     
    #26 Nick Delmacy, Sep 8, 2016
    SB3, Jdudre and mojoreece dapped this.
  27. ColumbusGuy

    ColumbusGuy
    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    2,421
    Daps Received:
    2,992
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Backwater, Ohio
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Would a slim ugly femme dude with a bad personality be above a fat good looking masculine dude with a big hard dick and a great personality?

    It all is in the greater context. I remember Ron Jeremy from straight porn in the 80's. He was fat and hairy and people thought he was ugly and gross, but I thought he was hot. And I was in my early 20's and was nearly five nine and 148 lbs with a 28-29 inch waist myself at the time.
     
    #27 ColumbusGuy, Sep 8, 2016
    Jdudre and alton dapped this.
  28. alton

    alton is a Featured Memberalton
    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,794
    Daps Received:
    2,781
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    Ron Jeremy. Off topic, but he was actually a relatively decent lookin' guy when he first got into doin' porn, and he was skinny LMAO. I had always suspected he was Jewish growing up (NO f#$kin' clue why that would even be in my head) and all these years later I find out he actual is Jewish LOL.
     
    #28 alton, Sep 9, 2016
  29. ColumbusGuy

    ColumbusGuy
    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    2,421
    Daps Received:
    2,992
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Backwater, Ohio
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    He was actually in Playgirl in 1978. I liked him 'heftier' and all-he was kind of like a bear when I did not know what that was yet.

    *I will admit that even though dik size does not really matter to me I like the *image* of a dark haired, hairy heavy guy with some facial hair and with a bick dik sticking way out from under his belly lol. I have a lot of 'looks' that I like I guess.
     
    #29 ColumbusGuy, Sep 9, 2016
  30. alton

    alton is a Featured Memberalton
    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    46
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,794
    Daps Received:
    2,781
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    "...hairy heavy guy with some facial hair and with a bick dik sticking way out from under his belly..."

    Gross... LOL
    :scust:
     
    #30 alton, Sep 9, 2016
  31. Jdudre

    Jdudre
    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2015
    Messages:
    469
    Daps Received:
    393
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    y'all notice that you guys are talking about a straight guy
     
    #31 Jdudre, Sep 9, 2016
  32. Jdudre

    Jdudre
    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2015
    Messages:
    469
    Daps Received:
    393
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    I fawn over models like everyone else but I date/sleep with mostly anybody as long has they treat me nice or what I perceived as nice. As I've grown older am begin to notice a pattern that a lot of ppl don't really follow this model, on the whole, it's all about playing a game or having some kind of status by way of your partner.
     
    #32 Jdudre, Sep 9, 2016
  33. ColumbusGuy

    ColumbusGuy
    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    2,421
    Daps Received:
    2,992
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Backwater, Ohio
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    well originally yes
    but we got sort of to a general heavier set bearish guy with a big dick that could be gay or straight(to the disgust of @alton lol). And I am not talking about every guy like this, but certain guys from all kinds of 'types' can be attractive to me, and always have, which I consider a blessing.
    100dap:obama:
     
    #33 ColumbusGuy, Sep 9, 2016
  34. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
    The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    1,060
    Daps Received:
    1,851
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    Orientation:
    Asexual
    Dating:
    Single
    All most gay men need to see is a nice chest and six-pack abs and they are in love and That's my bae, man-crush or whatever. I've even heard dudes say they don't even care about what a man's face look like, they care about the body...(ya know the nice body, and power pole peen syndrome thing)
     
    #34 Jai, Sep 11, 2016
  35. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,536
    Daps Received:
    8,241
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Not to bring up dried paint, but I just wanted to point out that staying 'in ur lane' doesn't mean dating 'boyfriend twins'. My point is that, if u know ur a solid 6, u don't have to date a 3, but the odds of bagging that 10, are stacked against u. Ijs
     
    #35 SB3, Sep 12, 2016
    alton dapped this.
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 2
Loading...
Similar Threads - Does Better Guys Forum Date
The Car Doesn't Make the Man Group Discussions Feb 13, 2022
He's the most popular man on TikTok. And he doesn't say a word Gaming and Technology Oct 13, 2021
How does a person expect honesty if they're not honest. Dating and Relationships Apr 18, 2020
Don't Act Like This Gaming Cushion Doesn't Solve a Bunch of Problems You Won't Admit To Having Gaming and Technology Mar 9, 2020
He Doesn’t Like Black Men But He’s Cute and a Fellow Gay Gamer So... Gaming and Technology Jan 23, 2020

Share This Page

Loading...