Best Posts in Thread: Falling for your Straight Best Friend

  1. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    I have a long list of stories like this. 99% of them led to nothing. A lot of straight dudes like to fly close to the sun, especially with friends.

    On one hand, I would say to move on and look for someone to hookup with that is less "work." You never really got confirmation that he gets down, based on what I read. For all you know he could have been testing you to make sure you weren't gay (especially given that this happened during a Beyonce performance, of all times).

    On the other hand, you only live once. The dude is married, but you're single. If you want to risk losing the friendship over a potential nut, have at it. He may or may not be down to cheat on his wife. I wouldn't bring up the convo 5 years ago, I would just flip it on him and use the same words. If he remembers it and is down, it could go the way you want. If he's not interested, you can always play it off as a joke, bringing up the situation from 5 years ago as if you were pranking him back.

    But overall, I would let it go. Dude has been your friend for at least 6 years and has a wife. That's what we in the community call "messy." You live in South Carolina so your options up there may not be plentiful, but if you can become buddies with some of the guys your age in ATL here on the site, that's only a 3-4 hour drive. Going to one house party here in Atlanta with rooms full of fine ass Black men, you'll forget all about that brief, ambiguous, G rated exchange with your friend 5 years ago.

    I can't guarantee that these guys won't be fuckboys or that your first same sex experience with a different guy will be as meaningful as it would be with a friend of 6 years, but at least you won't have to deal with so much ambiguity and drama.
     
  2. Juan-Carlos

    Juan-Carlos Opps are dealt with by a savage Thanos snap. HNY
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    Unfortunately @Austin MD , you may have to chalk it up to a missed opportunity if you indeed value the friendship. The take away is your budding awareness. Sometimes , situations can serendipitously happen which should be taken advantage if you allow yourself to be present whether it's a job opportunity or meeting someone new. I've missed out on a couple of experiences because I either didn't surrender to the moment by not being cognizant or by talking myself out of the situation going any further. It's undeniable what your feelings are for this guy now. Please don't waste your time and energy on the "shoulda,coulda,wouldas." Learn from this and maybe in 5 years or 10 years, his situation may change and if he's harboring something special still for you and if you're available and feel the same way, your paths will cross again. Creo que soy un romántico de corazón. Facts.
     
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  3. alton

    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

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    AND they dont wash they a$$es good.
     
  4. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    I think many of us here on the site have wasted a lot of time chasing a straight dude. Or even just chasing a dude who is ambiguous about his sexuality. Eventually you may get to the point I did where you realize there are so many more fulfilling experiences you will have with men who you actually KNOW are gay or bisexual.

    I remember I used to chase after this one “straight” dude from college in my late 20s, missing out on so many “good dudes” who desperately wanted my peen. He was a long time crush and I had heard whispers from women that he might be bisexual. I remember he used to text me that he wanted to “hang out,” and I would break dates with dudes I knew liked me just to have a chance with the “straight” dude that I was crushing on. Long story short, I finally hooked up with him and it was very mediocre. He just kinda laid there. I did all the “work.” Then he ghosted for awhile, even though he still texted me occasionally. We hooked up maybe 3-4 more times but each time was less exciting than the last. HOWEVER, when we were just “hanging out” (ie: talking, watching TV, playing video games, sports bars for drinks) we had a great time. Basically, I got the vibe that he was curious about the gay stuff but he wasn’t very comfortable with it yet...and clearly he wasn’t trying to seriously date me. Even after hooking up a handful of times, I wasn’t clear on if he even really liked men.

    Anyway, moral of that story is the “straight” guys take a lot of patience and work (most of the time). Your experience may be different though, these younger guys nowadays are much more free and sexually fluid than they were back when I was your age.
     
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  5. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
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    You sound new to the scene?!?!

    He's married now. In my opinion, I'd move on. That was the past and that's where it should stay. I think the opportunity to meet someone even more mesmerizing is in your future if you let go of your past that is creating that mental block to focus on others.

    You two can catch up if you like but remember, he's married. Don't fall for any shenanigans and hook up with him if you know he's married. So be on the lookout if that comes up. Deny him promptly out of respect for his wife because if you were in her shoes, you wouldn't want someone to do it to you.

    I think most of the squad has a pretty strong "stay away from straight men" stance. Your post comes off as you thinking about trying "something". If so, I wouldn't recommend it personally.

    Go out to a bar or other events where gay/bi frequent to get Dave of your mind.. Take it as a learning lesson, break free and move on to someone who is also "free". If that makes sense.

    Good luck and don't be afraid to find other dudes to connect with. There are so many men (gay and bi) on this planet, we can't possibly waste anymore time hoping for just a past crush to magically fall back into our lives forever. Don't block your blessings.
     
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