Flaws and All

For some unknown reason to the heavenly father of Julia's Ceasar's left testicle, I thought about a Beyonce song I heard when I was in Texas a number of years ago. I don't listen to her music but I remember the title of that song & I thought..self reflection. So anyways...

Have you took a moment to actually sit & think about some of your flaws...or "blockers"? I mean not in a wallowing kind of way if that makes sense.

As for myself, I can sorta be a control freak. Well I was a major one in the past but I still have some of that in me. I'm not talking about over guys. I'm talking about projects. Bad habits during college. I didn't even know I was one until a friend told me. One of those folks that tried to control every aspect of life dealing with work and stuff...Bad habits.

With men, Im never controlling but I will observe a guy to see if he is "too passive" or not.

I can be pretty fiesty (well used to be) despite not being bigger than a house mouse. Im rarely confrontational but I can be a bit to deal with if you get on my bad side but I'm actually easy going IF I take the time to get to know you, which is my next issue.

I can be uptight sometimes. It's all about me getting work done. Most of my past group members (including that oneI don't like) know me as the "by the book" one who doesn't like to have fun...However, if I actually enjoyed their company they'd see a bit more. Under the right circumstances I can get pretty ummm "wild." Probably, more than them. Ha.

I can be sexually shy (despite sounding like a Mighty Morphin Power Thot on here).

When I gave my first blowjob, I asked like 40 f**King questions. Does this hurt? Are you sensitive there? Is it supposed to taste like that? How do I know when you're close...I need time to run..

That changed when I met a guy that was just as worse as I used to be... Seriously, getting ate out (if you can call it that...it was more like bobbing for apples or something..I don't know what he was doing and I don't think he did either.) Made me realize I needed to get my act together. I'm stilll slightly sexually shy for some reason..but I use slightly since I still have that get to know a person syndrome which makes me a failure if I ever wanted to have a hookup. Outside of that, I will initiate most stuff.

I like Twizzlers...and they are horrible for you but they are the best plastic ever and if I get my hands on them, I can't help myself..I'm an addict. If you give me some Twizzlers, I'll deny them it at first (fighting urges, heavy denial) offer again and I will gladly except!!!

Just some things I need to work on to become better when I get old and move to Beijing.