How Do You Feel About "Types"

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by cypher21, Nov 13, 2015.

  1. cypher21

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    What is your personal opinion of dating someone that is your type or within your "league"? Would you agree with the idea that a person attracts the kind of person that they are? Or is it based on something else? I've talked to friends about this when one felt like she only attracted guys she didn't like or weren't attracted to and was frustrated by it. I've felt this way before as well but I'm not sure what to do about or if there is even anything I can do about it.

    My opinion is that types are a simple yet somewhat effective way off conveying to others what you're interested in a person. It's the base qualifiers for a perspective interest but does not and cannot specify all of the smaller yet important things you would like to see in someone to make it work.

    Let me hear your thoughts!
    [​IMG]
     
  2. Michael

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    Lol I don't know what a person in my "league" even means. As far as types go I look at it as a way to narrow down your prospects. I am a person that believes in looking for what you need in a person and not necessarily what you want.
     
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  3. Michael

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    In regards to us attracting what we are. This is silly, but true. When it comes to dating/ relationships I lean more on the bottom side even though I prefer oral/ foreplay over anything. However, I only seem to attract bottoms. No Idea why, but it is what it is. On a less superficial lane my types of guys vary.
     
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  4. ControlledXaos

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    I tend to attract frat boys. My last two boy friends were in a frat and my first two wanted to be in one. I'm not a fan of black greek culture so I have no idea why this happens.

    There may be qualities that I have that are aligned with black greek culture and that's cool and all. I can only think that's whywhy. But even then, those greeks were not the typical Que Dog/ Nupe and more Omega Man/Kappa Man.

    I think with you do have to become what you want to attract or you are what you attract. However you don't have to put up with losers if that's what's coming your way. Also what people find attractive in you isn't always what come a to the surface so those losers may see the good in a person but you are blinded by their loserism to see what good if any, they may have.
     
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  5. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I think as a general rule people tend to attract and be attracted to those who they have things in common and are most like themselves this seems to be especially true among gay men. The same thing tends apply from my observation to leagues, case in point professional guys tend to go for other professional guys, muscle dudes tend to go after other muscle dudes, masculine men tend to seek out other masculine men etc. This doesn't occur 100% of the time. There are occasions where opposite or dissimilar people attract but this seems to be exception and not the rule.
     
    #5 Cyrus-Brooks, Nov 13, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2015
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  6. SB3

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    Could just be my experience, but I typically find more fem guys into me. I figure its because Im masculine, their opposite.

    I actually find that a lot of masculine guys dont go for other masc guys, unless theyre dl. Its like they feel like their masculinity is gonna be challenged w that dynamic. Stupidly.
     
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  7. SB3

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    I can admit that Im picky abt certain things, but not picky in general. Maybe thats why Im one of those 'perpetually single' guys the moderators are always speaking about, but im not abt to date someone Im not attracted to, for the sake of it.
     
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  8. Nick Delmacy

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    This is so NOT TRUE in my case...We've had a couple podcasts where I've ranted about this...I don't attract the "regular" dudes who have things in common with me because most times they are already lusting after trendy gaylebrities like Miles and Milan, conflicted "Kaldrick King" porn stars like Yusuf Mack or they are reserving their booties for save-a-hoe White Gay Republicans.

    [​IMG]
     
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  9. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I'm sure other people have different experiences and observations. Myobservation is hardly a scientific poll although I think it would be interesting if poll was done. I've also had a lot of fem guys try to get at me. I've noticed most fem men go for masculine men. My theory is they're trying to replicate the heteronormative relationship dynamic. The same with masculine men who date effeminate men. However I see a much smaller percentage of masculine guys who like that arrangement. Those who do tend to be dudes who dated women in the past.
     
  10. Kouncelor

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    For me it has been kinda random. Tall, short, thicker, thinner.. I have a particular set of physical characteristics that make me CRAZY, but looking at my history, I never use it to dictate who I date. I initially go by instinct and vibe. Then let nature do it's work.
    Some times we attach so many rules to our contraction and dating.. or even just talking to someone that we may miss out on someone special.
     
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  11. Nigerian Prince

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    As far as types go? Hmmm... I tend to attract.... Errmmm I dunno yet. I have not been in a setting where I know a man may be into me so I gotta figure that all out lol.
     
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  12. SB3

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    Well it takes a fem dude n a masc dude in order for the hetero dynamic we're speaking of here to be possible, so clearly quite a few more masc guys are ok w that arrangement than ppl realize...

    Also, this doesnt have to be extremes of a masc dude and a super fem 'womanly' guy. My point was that a lot of guys have a hard time being equally masculine-ly yoked, so to speak. Its like, if a dude is naturally masc, he needs to feel like 'the masc one', and this is perfectly doable if one guy is a lil more 'in btwn'. Yet, still heteronormative.
     
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  13. ControlledXaos

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    I agree @SB3 I may have been lucky because my latest relationships and dates were with guys whose masculinity levels were close to mine. Though in my early dating life it was more guys softer than me which wasn't want what I was particularly in to but we got along well.

    I always say that it's important to let the other guy handle things as well as you need a chance handle things. We both can be "the man" but it doesn't have to be exclusive to one of us.


    Edit : my auto typing tho sheesh.
     
    #13 ControlledXaos, Nov 13, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2015
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  14. cypher21

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    Just someone you like that you wouldn't feel out of place talking to or felt confident that they would acknowledge you I guess

    I agree with you that people of similar interests usually attract I think your comment is a good example of leagues with professional for professional etc.

    I'm somewhat in the same boat but I still feel like sometimes even with platonic acquaintances I tend to attract certain kinds of people. Typically people that are alittle needy or socially awkward.

    I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, I can be a bit reversed at times but I try to be friendly and available to people and my mom always says I have a lot of patience so maybe that's why I attract people like that, but I just wonder sometimes.
     
    #14 cypher21, Nov 13, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2015
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  15. cypher21

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    Interesting thoughts guys, I think everyone had great points to make. But I have one more question lol.

    For those of you that believe in the you attract who you are concept, have you ever personally tried to change who you were to attract a certain person (or type of person)? And if so, how did it go? To what degree did you change??
     
  16. Jdudre

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    Types are good way to set goals for yourself but i don't think they should ever be, the be all to end all and as for as the whole "league" thing goes its silly. I get anxious talking to guys because i am an anxious person and I get nervous if i real want something. Guys that general believe in those kinds of guidelines are general jerks.
     
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