I Dont Want My Pretend Gay Son Dating White Guys

I recently viewed the short film The One You Never Forget which features a young Black kid feeling anxious about his upcoming school dance. His date is was being driven over to his home to pick him up and Carrie (played by actor London Curtis) is nervous about his date meeting his father (played by actor Charles Malik Whitfield).

From the screen grabs online, its obviously his date was another young male who happens to be white. So Carrie’s unease of his father’s possible disappointment to finding out his sexuality is understandable. As I put myself in the father’s shoes, I must say I was a bit taken aback at how I would’ve possibly reacted negatively to the situation if this was my son. No, I don’t have a son, a gay son, nor any children but I’m just sayin.

As a non-heterosexual man, 99% of the men I’ve been intimate with have been Black. However, personally I’m very open to being intimate with non-Black men…and I have. I’m attracted to masculinity in the male form which is inclusive of all men regardless of race.

Admittedly, my mindset or openness to interracial coupling is not as inclusive when it comes to other Black men. Yes; emotionally I’m hypocritical and possess a “do as I say and not as I do” mindset. Notice I said ’emotionally’.

I remember watching a Wanda Sykes comedy special where she surmised that Black women were upset that she was in a relationship with a white woman more so than her sexuality. Even though I understand, I don’t know if my reasons are the same as Black women. Through my own self-analysis I’m clear as to why I feel this way.

I’m knowledgeable in the fact that from the time Africans were shuffled and crammed onto slave ships to working on plantations, they (males and females of all ages) were subject to rapes and forcible sex acts at the hands of their captors and owners. Because of this, there is a visceral reaction I have when I see a Black male with a white male. My mindset and imagination automatically reverts to Black males being in subservient dispositions. This is how I feel within the nanoseconds the images hit my retina. There is a strong possibility to the validity of epigenetic imprinting through transgenerational trauma and I may frequently experience it when I see interracial couples.

But still logically for me this kinda makes no sense. Historically (pre trans-atlantic slavery), non-forced interracial / interethnic coupling has existed for thousands of years throughout the world regardless of sexuality. Based on appearance, I know I would not exist in my present form if it were not for interracial sex. Hell…the United States’ first Black president is half white.

I would hope the discussion surrounding the reveal of my personal thoughts would not reduce to the disdain for ‘snow queens’ or astute observations concerning Gay White Men of Color …. but more so with examining why as Black men where our anti-interracial attitudes originate.