I need advice: How to deal with being in love with a (kinda) straight male.

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by King Zorro, Nov 29, 2016.

  1. King Zorro

    King Zorro I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.....
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    Hello, I am kinda new to the boards and I need honest advice. I have this adorable straight friend who I met 4 years ago over the internet and originally I hooked him up with my homegirl. They broke up after being on and off for a year. Him and I started hanging out because we shared a love of marijuana and enjoyed the same activities (Movies, Hanging out and sleeping over at each other's places, Going out to eat, etc). I recently came out to him at the beginning of this year and he was VERY supportive. We argue like a married couple though over dumb things (He'll get mad if I hang with other guys, if I don't text him when he wants or If I'm at an fun event with other friends and I post it online and I'm having fun without him). He's a big player and he has a few female friends that he can call to come to his house to....you know. But when I bring up another guy, he seems a bit jealous or hurt. I'm somewhat curious of him though because he always asks to see videos of me with other guys having sex or videos of me getting head. He also tells me I'm sexy (I sound so insecure lol) and will only say "I'm just playing" if I say "Boy you better stop". But all and all, I love this dude smh I even go on dates and hang with other guys but he is always on my mind. He has a couple other gay friends but he's such a ladies man, I don't know what to do. I'm in my mid 20s and I haven't really experience being in love with a straight guy. As of right now, I continue to curve him and ignore him because I'm scared of really falling for him and looking like a dummy. Should I remove him from my life? Should I tell him how I feel? Am I doing too much? Lol
     
  2. Nigerian Prince

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    I can tell you just like @Nick Delmacy or @Ockydub will say.... don't put yourself in situations where you end up falling for str8 dudes. It NEVER ends well. Good luck though.
     
  3. King Zorro

    King Zorro I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.....
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    Thank you.
     
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  4. ControlledXaos

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    What @African King said

    What's wrong with just keeping it brotherly/friendly/or whatever the hell it is (cause yalls boundaries seem a little blurry if you are showing your escapades to him and Y'all not playing for the same team) ?

    Ask him why does get seems to be upset about other guys and you? Are you still in contact with the home girl you linked him up with cause that's not going to end well if yall still cool.

    FRFR, you DO NOT want to be the one to "turn someone out". The turnree never gets to keep the turnt if that's was the goal.
     
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  5. King Zorro

    King Zorro I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.....
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    OH NO, me and the girl no longer are friends. Her and him are also not in contact with each other. I just get a weird feeling with him. I know I don't want to set myself up to be with him or do things with him, it's just the way he's coming off. The way he acts, makes me think he has already had an experience with another guy. He told me one time that he received oral sex from a tran and he didn't know she was a transexual until a few days later. That made me go hmmmmmmm......

    It doesn't help that he's also very charming and a gentleman. Like pay for things whenever we go out, hold the door, tell me he loves me, find small ways to touch me, etc. I feel like a loser typing this because I'm an educated young male who has made very smart decisions in his life but this guy just does something to me smh
     
  6. ControlledXaos

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    Mane, most of us have "that one straight dude" who if they did the right thing at the right time... Bow chika wow wow.

    Look. You are a grown man. Just straight up ask him what's up. Folks need to quit playing.

    But I'm telling you that if you want to proceed with this, romantically/sexually, it could backfire. I'm coming from the pov of not having a platonic male relationship when I was younger in my 20s and I wish I had that then. It's harder to bond with people once you are older, it can be done however. If you have some tighter bonds with other guys you might be alright but if this is the ace boon coon.... Might not be worth the risk.
     
  7. King Zorro

    King Zorro I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.....
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    Thank you man, I appreciate it
     
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  8. acessential

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    This can also fall into the realm of emotional manipulation. Dude probably likes the attention he gets from you and says things to get you to react. He plays the game well, but doesn't necessarily have genuine romantic interest. That's not fair to you.
     
  9. King Zorro

    King Zorro I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.....
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    Makes sense. I can't really fault him because sometimes I do the same.
     
  10. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
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    I think there is nothing wrong with platonic friendship with straight men. But don't catch feelings because they never end well. There is nothing worse than loving someone who can never love you the same way. Set boundaries.
     
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  11. Nigerian Prince

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    Exactly being in love (or lust possibly lol) SUCKS. You put yourself in an awkward and compromising position. Not to mention that the demise of that relationship is possibly near.
     
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