Is it hard for you to make "genuine" friends as a man?

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by RolandG, Jun 14, 2019.

  1. RolandG

    Bae Material Squad Leader The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

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    Great article below. I read it while waiting at the airport in Canada today. It did strike a cord with some of the feelings I've had over the years. It's not just gay men either with this struggle. @OckyDub , this is a good read. Link to full article...

    Opinion: I love you, man: Why do men have such a difficult time maintaining friendships?


    I love you, man: Why do men have such a difficult time maintaining friendships?

    If men won’t really talk to one another about the problems in their lives, then companionship isn’t much better for you than loneliness. I learned that the hard way

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. Nick Delmacy

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    I think there may be even more hurdles if you are Gay since most single man tries to date or have sex with you before even considering a friendship once they find out you have things in common or are a good dude.

    Kinda like the straight man who assumes the attractive waitress MUST want to fuck him just because she was being nice to him (probably just for the tips), many gay men view even the most casual conversation with another attractive gay man as courtship.

    One guy on an app straight up told me, "I have enough friends, I'm looking for more than that."

    In addition to the above, my issues with maintaining are geography based. Every time I start building those stereotypical friendships where we talk, hang out, travel and bond with frequently, they end up moving away or getting into relationships causing them to slowly vanish.
     
  3. Dean

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    Yea i once thought i was meeting up for casual conversation and this fuccer pulls out on me im like nigga no and nevermind the rest.
     
  4. Apollo

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    The friendships I make only seem to last a few months. Things seem cool for a little while, then they just seem to make excuses not to hang out anymore. They all of a sudden become to busy for you.
     
  5. Karma2016

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    I think in general people are really flaky and f
     
  6. Chris00656

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    This is so true. I need to find me a good friend.
     
  7. ControlledXaos

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    They got a man probably.

    I have seen this on occasion and have been That Guy myself. Basically once you get coupled up you have to figure out how to balance the scales.

    Time Together
    Time with Friends
    Time Alone

    It takes a while to figure this out. Sometimes people don't realize that they are caught up.

    We don't have to spend all of our free time together with our guy. We all had loves before we started dating so people must needs to balance it out. But I do think you have to be understand that your friends may want to be in the honeymoon phase for a few weeks.
     
  8. SB3

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    This was indeed a great article.

    Men are pretty much encouraged from jump to be guarded, and because we all know that everyone has their own 'shit' going on, no one wants to feel like they're burdening someone else. Funny how we think like this, but then tell the next man, 'bro, you should've told me...'. But yea, we're all comfortable with that safe, superficial, surface level communication.

    I think that if friendships didn't often remain or become (real life happens) so surface level, maybe people wouldn't feel sooo pressed about being in romantic relationships. Eventho they're literally the slow death of most friendships, it's kinda like the 'if you can't beat em, join em' mantra.
     
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  9. ControlledXaos

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    Yeah thats why you need to find balance.

    We can't spend all our time with the dude. I think because we all like to feel good and get off on the endorphins of a relationship it's easy for some friends to feel like they got pushed out/away.

    We all have to figure out what what's best for our situations. Not neglecting our friends why getting some.
     
  10. RKnNLV

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    Greetings God's People/Good People,

    This has been a constant battle and struggle my entire life. From a child, I have always had challenges and difficulties with building relationships with males. Then the males who I did build some kind of bond, more so superficial, I have known them to be attracted to women. At 35 years old, I still do not have one authentic male relationship (whether family/relative and platonic). I do my best to have hope, and yes I do get frustrated, cuss, fuss, and give in.

    When I attempted to speak my emotions as best I knew how. A few comments/statements I will receive, "Do not dwell on it", "too sensitive", and "very emotional".
     
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