Is it just us ?

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by jusrawb, Oct 7, 2015.

  1. jusrawb

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2015
    Messages:
    294
    Daps Received:
    457
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    So me and my dude has been together for five years and we find it hard to find other couples to hang with. All of our friends are single and like doing single stuff but that gets old and sometimes we just want to hang with people that can relate. Any other couples in the same boat ? If so how do y'all go about it? We've tried helping our single friends but it didn't work.
     
  2. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,653
    Daps Received:
    12,622
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
  3. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,359
    Daps Received:
    14,634
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    Absolutely...been with my dude for 7+ yrs and I mos def can relate. Then when you find another couple, you all may not even mesh.
     
  4. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,535
    Daps Received:
    8,238
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Do you guys do stuff w ur str8 couple friends? All of my friends are either married or damn near, so I'd imagine that my dude n I would prob do a lot of couples things w them.
     
  5. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,359
    Daps Received:
    14,634
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    Nope...no straight couples only family members (on his side) in other states.
     
  6. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,535
    Daps Received:
    8,238
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Is that intentional, or just by coincidence?
     
  7. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,359
    Daps Received:
    14,634
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    I dont have any straight friends...hell I barely have any gay friends.
     
    ControlledXaos dapped this.
  8. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,535
    Daps Received:
    8,238
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Point taken, lol.
     
  9. jusrawb

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2015
    Messages:
    294
    Daps Received:
    457
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    Rarely but the conversation is different between the couples. They don't go through things gay couples do and vice versa.
     
    SB3 dapped this.
  10. Discordant

    Squad Leader The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2015
    Messages:
    305
    Daps Received:
    357
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    DMV
    When I was in a relationship, we tried to do things with other couples. The straight couples were easier to deal with. Both gay couples were actually on some swinger type stuff that neither me or my ex were down for.
     
    SB3 dapped this.
  11. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,359
    Daps Received:
    14,634
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    sasmithWhy is this such a common theme among gay folk???
     
    Infinite_loop, ControlledXaos and SB3 dapped this.
  12. Discordant

    Squad Leader The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2015
    Messages:
    305
    Daps Received:
    357
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    DMV
    I think it happens with straight folks too. There's a large swinger community that's mostly straight, after all. I just think the gays are less discreet about it.
     
    Tyroc, ControlledXaos and Nick Delmacy dapped this.
  13. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,535
    Daps Received:
    8,238
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    I get that, but cmon, if ur in a room w 10 str8 n 10 gay couples, we know what team is going to 'win' when it comes to the percentage in 'non-traditional' situations..not that there's anything wrong w that...

    But I can imagine the frustration of being in a functional, committed, openly gay relationship and feeling like its just u and ur dude on some island somewhere.
     
    Discordant dapped this.
  14. SilverSnake4Life

    Supporter

    Age:
    31
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2015
    Messages:
    24
    Daps Received:
    26
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Jackson, Mississippi
    Dating:
    Single
    I am wondering, are you looking for a couple to be in your "circle of friends" or just a casual hangout couple? I ask because my best friends is actually in the same boat as you....Him and his partner have been together and the rest of us are single. From what he has told me, I think they have just found other couples to casually hang out with, meaning that these couples are not in the "inner circle" but they are just cool people to go on the double dates with.
     
    Discordant dapped this.
  15. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    45
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,533
    Daps Received:
    7,157
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanna
    When I was with my ex none, zero, nada, zilch of his friends were in relationships. So we were only doing us. Or doing stuff with his family.

    I don't know any gay couples and it seems like only those Gentleman's Ball type dudes know other guys in relationships.

    Ideally I'd like my friends and who I'm with to have friends who are coupled up and we could do nice trips like rent an entire house for a few days in Florida or go on a group vacation or have cookouts.

    It always seems like in a group of friends only one person can be in a relationship at a time. Everybody else in the group is stuck on single until the baton gets passed. Lol
     
    OckyDub and SB3 dapped this.
  16. bpaisle

    The 100 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    29
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2015
    Messages:
    433
    Daps Received:
    864
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Houston

    Yeah dude. Its pretty weird. Its the hardest thing to find other couples to do things with. All of my other friends are single and like you said they like to do single stuff, which is cool but I'm not single so that doesnt really work. My best friend was dating this older guy but he never wanted to do anything. He wanted to just sit in the house and drink and talk or whatever, which is fine but that shit gets old. Me and my dude like actually getting out and doing stuff. A lot of the other couples that we know are either on some on/off weird thing or they aren't like a serious enough couple to double date with other couples. Weird.
    giphy.gif
     
    SB3 dapped this.
  17. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,359
    Daps Received:
    14,634
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The planet of Memory Corpses
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Married
    Sorry but its still not easy once you find other couples. Its just like any thing else, you still have to be compatible just like in singular one on one friendships. I have been around other couples who's life exist in the totality of being gay. That is what they are all about. If its not gay/club/party/swing then they aint down. Finding a couple is one thing, finding a compatible couple is another.
     
    SB3 and ControlledXaos dapped this.
  18. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    3,535
    Daps Received:
    8,238
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK, NY
    Id look at that as any other friendships, u know when its time to invite Mike to something, and u know when to ask Joe to come along. Id figure that itd be nice to have another couple whos always down to go to six flags, and even hit a lounge sometimes, and another one whos down to go hear a panel discussion on something or even do a wkend cabin rental..even if a single person (or couple) cant fulfill all of our 'needs'
     
  19. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2015
    Messages:
    779
    Daps Received:
    2,734
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK
    Orientation:
    SGL
    Dating:
    Single
    I would give you some ideas but I am single as fuck soooo...lol I actually do tons of things with my straight couple friends. We go on hikes, movies, parks, concerts, soccer games, etc.. I can code switch into the single life whenever I want. Idk i never had that problem.
     
    Tyroc dapped this.
  20. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,653
    Daps Received:
    12,622
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    This is a VERY key sentence. As a single dude I also have done a lot with straight couples, but the black gay couples I know always want to do, well, gay couple things...like cabin trips, Sunday dinners, wine parties, etc. It's like they turn into retired elderly lesbians once they make it official.
     
    Discordant dapped this.
  21. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
    Squad Leader Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,032
    Daps Received:
    2,475
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    World Traveller
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Married
    My husband and I am been married for a year now and been together for 5 years and we are at that stage too...when we were dating and boyfriends we had a big friends group (that did everything together, bunch, dinner parties, trips, bars, weekend stuff) but that quickly got old because it was a combination of singletons and couples, all of which were not necessarily friends., just associates by affiliation to the group.

    We actually started making new gay and straight friends by joining our neighborhood association. One of the things that we also started doing was hanging out and doing things individually, I think the one thing that long terms couples lose is the ability to be self-identifying. For example, I regularly meet up with some old college and old work buddies on Thursdays to catch up, my husband hardly ever attends because he recognizes I may need some respectful space.
     
    ControlledXaos dapped this.
  22. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2015
    Messages:
    779
    Daps Received:
    2,734
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK
    Orientation:
    SGL
    Dating:
    Single
    I think this is definitely detrimental to any future friendships. At some point(and quickly), you have to move from acquaintances to friends otherwise the bond doesn't hold long enough. I also think it works better in small groups. I pride myself on the fact that I make few close friends rather many acquaintances and "weekend hangout" buddies, because there are a bunch of those people.
     
  23. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2015
    Messages:
    779
    Daps Received:
    2,734
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    BK
    Orientation:
    SGL
    Dating:
    Single
    wine parties? lol you need new gay couple friends or you need to ask the elderly lesbians to get it together
     
  24. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    45
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,533
    Daps Received:
    7,157
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanna
    This this this this this!

    Everyone in a relationship needs time with their significant other, time with their friends outside of their significant other, time with friends with their significant other, and alone time.

    I think you need to balance things to keep peace. I really do think you can spend too much time with someone else.

    As far as activities go I think it's nice to have the dinner parties, cookouts, and such that people usually don't do until they are coupled up but I don't see why you'd have to stop doing other activities like going to festivals, concerts, go kart racing and etc.... Basically any of the fun "date stuff."
     
  25. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,653
    Daps Received:
    12,622
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    Right. It's like the black gay guys think they are obligated to only do couple things...or do things with other couples so they can all look cute together doing it...like I said above, the heterosexual couples I know still enjoy doing the things they loved to do when they were single, often without their girlfriends or wives. Black gay couples I know seem to be the opposite.
     
  26. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    45
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,533
    Daps Received:
    7,157
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanna
    Well I don't want to have my significant other be a symbiot. Been there done that. If you can't trust me to be social without you and vice versa, what's the point then?

    I don't want neither party to be in a social setting that they don't want to be in. So people need to be able to enjoy themselves with out having any blowback when they get home if they went to an event/outing that the other party didn't go to. One of my coworkers said he can't go to haunted houses because his wife doesn't like them.

    Bullsnigidy.
     

Share This Page

Loading...