Is Marriage in your cards?

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by tigerbreaux, Feb 22, 2016.

?
  1. Yes

    10 vote(s)
    41.7%
  2. Maybe, if I find the right one

    9 vote(s)
    37.5%
  3. No

    5 vote(s)
    20.8%
  1. tigerbreaux

    tigerbreaux Polymath In-training
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    So I've seen a lot of posts about who should/would propose to whom, what would you do with your last name, and what would your kids call you, but do the majority see marriage as an end goal, now that you can marry freely?

    I'll be honest, I don't really. Before it was legal everywhere, and I was younger, I always saw myself marrying a woman, plus I couldn't marry a man anyway. Once it became legalized and i started to see more wedding videos and proposals and such, I thought it was really sweet, but I never saw it in the cards for me. Long term relationship, sure, and maybe if my partner would want to do it, but I just don't see myself married.

    What are you guy's thoughts?
     
  2. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
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    I recently got married (October 17, 2015) after five years of being together. I was the one that proposed on July 4, 2014 almost 7 months before it became legal in my state of residence, Florida. Because both my husband and I were from Florida, we made a choice not to get married until it was legal in our state. We decided to get married for a range of reasons, first, it seemed to be the natural progression of our relationship, secondly, it was increasing importantly in my line of work to get married so that my spouse of have the same protections as me when traveling abroad (my husband enjoys traveling on a diplomatic passport and all the rights that come with it). Thirdly, I never thought that I would get married before I turned 30 years old and despite all of that doubt, I enjoyed a wedding filled with family friends from all over the country and world. We actually have a travel themed wedding. As far as our name, we had it hyphenated because it was important for us to share the same name and if we decide on children in the future, they should share our name. Right now, neither one of us are particularly interested in kids. But we have talked about what our kids would call us, I think my husband would be dad or daddy and I would be pop or pop-o. I think that for me, marriage has brought us closer as a couple both literally and figuratively and it was something that we took seriously.
     
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  3. ControlledXaos

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    Marriage is an option. I considered it with my last LTR.

    I'm interested in the legal protections that go with it but I think I'd be happy to have my own house and he his. I'm not old school enough to dismiss it for me because people have been getting married in Hawaii and Massachusetts for a while. But it's not a requirement for me.

    It's hard enough trying to find people that "do right." Let alone to get to the point where marriage is seriously considered
     
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  4. cypher21

    cypher21 Deactivated Account
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    I do ultimately get married. Straight answer, no real hesitation on that..Want a family, kids, the whole shebang and I'm not afraid of commitment, and there's no reason not to if you take your time and do it with the right one...I know it's not for everyone but I definitely want to experience building a family..but right now I'm not looking for a husband I'm just open to meeting a guy that I connect with on a deeper level and view as husband potential at best.

    I'm not out here like "Laaawd when you gon send me my huusband" LOL
     
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  5. redsai84

    redsai84 For the night is dark and full of terrors.
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    nah i never wanted to get married its just not a thing for me. ppl seem to do it for all types of reasons besides real love. if i find the right man or woman and they really want to then maybe but i honestly don't want it nor believe the need for it just to show my love for you.
     
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  6. Tyroc

    Tyroc Deactivated Account

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    I don't knock it and fully support anyone who wants to do it but it's not for me.
    If by some random and unlikely act of fate were to happen and I met someone who could resuscitate my dead heart enough that made me want to couple with them, hopefully they'd be of like mind and settle for chest punchies, Pon Farr induced wrestling matches and co-dog parenting.
     
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  7. ControlledXaos

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    I like wrestling and chest punches.... I see you @Tyroc
     
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  8. Tyroc

    Tyroc Deactivated Account

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    You are a man of exquisite taste and worthy of much respect!
     
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  9. Jaa

    Jaa
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    I won't absolutely say no but I don't expect or particularly want to be married. Even before I knew I liked dudes, the idea of marrying a woman wasn't that appealing.
     
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  10. Jubei

    Jubei Lurker

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    I'd like to get married someday but still single and getting older and older. :(
     
  11. NikR

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    Marriage was never an option when I was growing up, so I never yearned for it. And now that it IS an option....uhhhh...yeahhh. I think not. I just don't see how this benefits me. Also, "unmarried" is one leg of the chair that will be my child-free life. As they say, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes one of those ridiculous baby prams- you know, the ones with 7 speeds and wheels the size of bike tires because apparently people go running with infants now or whatever. Uhuh. I will not be seen with such things- and my future Porsche 911 has no desire to be a carrier for such a device. The logic is pretty sound- don't get married=don't have kids=happy Porsche.
     
    #11 NikR, Feb 23, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2016
  12. mysticalsoul

    mysticalsoul Squad Member

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    if the situation present itself. Lets just start off with a healthy partnership first. That seem impossible these days already.
     
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  13. acessential

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    Marriage isn't so much a goal, as it's an option. A nice perk. I think it would be nice to get married, but it's not something that has to happen. The only definite goal I have is kids.That sometimes trips folks out because they assume I mean I want kids tomorrow. But that's not the case. I just want kids when the time is right. Whenever that is.
     
  14. mysticalsoul

    mysticalsoul Squad Member

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    can agree with you on that
     
  15. JodyBell87

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    I would like to spend the rest of my days with someone. But I think I can make myself happy too. I would like someone who keeps me as happy as I already am without exception. That would be ideal.
     
  16. scooter

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    I can honestly say that I'm very much ready for an LTR. Marriage on the other only affords one the legal protections (i.e.: tax benefits, inheritance, last decision when hospitalization, etc.). Now can I see myself marrying yes I can but I want to get myself to the point where I can be an addition to one's life career wise and financial stability before I bring another person into my life like that, but I do stand in support of any of my friends or family members who wish to marry for whatever reason they wish to do so.
     
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  17. SwagJack

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    Definitely see myself jumpin the broom. All the damn toads I been kissin are puttin mad miles on the odometer though. Speaking of kissin toads...I should probably do somethin about these warts.
     
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  18. mojoreece

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    It wold be nice to have a long term relationship with someone Im happy wit and could build with. Maybe marriage. Its not a big deal to me. If it happens it does if not Im not worried. It would be nice though.
     
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  19. Sean

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    Marriage is in my cards. I enjoy the feeling of intimate, monogamous, companionship with someone I have a deep connection, good compatibility and chemistry with.
     
  20. bpaisle

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    Marriage is always an option. It'll be a while before I get there though. We need to make sure that we're both ready mentally, emotionally, financially. Financial is going to be the problem area, I think. We'll probably have to have separate bank accounts. I don't play that shit.
     
  21. DFW Brutha

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  22. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
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    Both my husband and I were like you and still are to an extent. We have always been very amicable about our money but we always kept it pretty separate. Fortunately, we have both supported one another over the years. Before becoming a diplomat, I was in law school and subsequently worked as a paralegal. I abruptly quit all of that one day and quit my job and I was out of work for 4 months, burning through my savings and my husband said then that we would be alright and we struggled together for a short time. Flash forward. We just opened up a joint bank account where each of us contribute 40% of our income. the other 60% we keep in our own personal accounts. That is working right now. I have always believed that it is important to keep some money to the side for your own security as a matter of principle no matter how great the relationship is.
     
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  23. bpaisle

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    Yeah, the money thing is the main thing that sort of "sours" (for lack of a better term) the whole thing for me. Even when I date, me and the person I'm dating usually just go dutch most of the time. I don't mind sharing at all but I feel like in certain situations you have to sort of look out for number one. For me, finances is one of those situations. I may see it a bit differently once I take the step to marry somebody but it won't change that much lol.
     
  24. jusrawb

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    Yea I think I would like to get married but I won't be devastated if it never happens. It would have to be a decision that both me and my partner want to make. I've been with my dude for 5 years now and we have talked about it but we aren't really there yet.
     
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  25. Discordant

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    I would love to get married but as time has passed I've become more comfortable with the idea of being a bachelor forever. I doubt that would be the case but I'm okay f that's where life leads.
     
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  26. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
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    Nope. I can see myself getting a ring and being committed in a relationship but not the cerimonial procedure.

    I personally think marriage isItsfor me. Its something that stems from a religion that restricts and chastises me...so I can do without it.

    As I said, if a guy wants to give me a ring, I'll accept it as more like a bonding ring. I'll call him hubby, papi..etc.Ill fufill his desires and crave his precense and all that.

    Thoughif he gives me his heart, I dont need anything else...except the ring...lol..hahaha.
     
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