Life and death events

I would love to hear some of these too if anyone has one.I wonder if everything goes dark or does it get outta focus or what.

 

I don't dwell on it, and being agnostic I think I deal with it more realistically and psychogically better than the church folk in the family. When my father died, I got sick of them telling me HOW to grieve. This is something I never do or tell others what to do. You handle your loss in the way that fits you, evening if it's laughing or telling jokes. My way is to just go quiet and OCD everything until I've established order in the moment. Everybody's different.

I won't talk about Iraq, just to say kids always innocently ask if you've killed/shot someone because all they know of war in the US is movies and cartoons. They don't mean to be morbid, but parents should try to monitor kid questions with certain vets. That's also why I hate 90% of all video games. If you've been shot at and mortared for days and weeks on end, wondering if today is your number being called by The Grim Reaper, seeing stupid fat American kids playing Halo or Call of Duty can be....irritating.

Sadly, I've seen more people die in person having lived in Chicago than in Iraq. When people bleed to death, it's not like on TV at all. You can develop a numbness to it all which can be disturbing. The 4th person I saw shot to death was a liquor store owner shot in the head and bled down an entire block so that Chicago Fire Dept had to high pressure the hose to clean it. I had almost no reaction other than "poor bastard." As I told a friend, it bothers me that I'm no longer bothered.

 

I had two experiences. I was diagnosed with a chronic condition in my early 20s and had gotten so sick, the surgical team and medical team fought over what to do with me for 2 days. Operate and i could die, dont operate and i could die. Ended up having a successful operation, but every complication possible. 2nd experience takes the cake tho. I was driving 70 mph and suddenly hit black ice. I hit an 18 wheeler and ended up in the median. (Wire barriers kept me from ending up in oncoming traffic headed the opposite direction.) When i got out the car, a lady came to make sure i was ok. She asked if i knew the car flipped over. I had no clue. 10 people died that evening and morning throughout the region because of icy weather conditions. I had ptsd for a couple wks, and scratches and bruises that showed up a few days later, but otherwise, ok.

 

My dap is 'cause I know you but didn't know THAT about you. I consider facing your medical situation way more important and brave than anything I ever faced.

Sometimes there's even dark humor in situations. I used to like rappelling. I didnt use a fancy harness, just a rope and a D Ring (no relation to a C ring lol). The instructors always said if you prepare your equipment right, you have nothing to worry about if you have an accident. One trip, I was about to go down a steep hill face and slipped off the cliff and ended up dangling in the air from about a five story height. Luckily I had prepared my rope correctly and didn't plummet. They say your life flashes before your eyes but I saw NOTHING absolutely NOTHING. I was so was so pissed at myself, like really, nothing, not even a fucking movie trailer? I was like, man, I really need to upgrade my life lol

 

Yeah man, if you can imagine me at 147 pounds, that's how bad I was. (I'm six feet tall with an avg adult weight of 205.) My cousins would joke that I looked like Grover from Sesame Street cuz my hair had grown out a little, I was bony and couldn't walk vertically. I kinda did look like Grover. lol. I never saw my life flash before my eyes, but the memory of the car accident is vivid and replays in slow motion everytime I think about it.