Lost His Job

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by @yahoo.com, Nov 9, 2015.

Tags:
  1. @yahoo.com

    @yahoo.com When the lights get low, I Burn Brighter.
    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    43
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2015
    Messages:
    299
    Daps Received:
    348
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta, Ga
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    Good Afternoon Brothers -

    So, this guy I am dating told me today that he went into work this morning and they let him go. It is not performance based, but just business and the need to cut back. Question for you all - what can I do to support him mentally during this time? Also, is there anything you all would recommend in terms of him finding a new job (best job search sites, etc)?
     
  2. Jdudre

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    39
    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2015
    Messages:
    469
    Daps Received:
    393
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    The best thing I would say is just be there for him. If he dint like the job it may not be the worst thing in the world this may be an opportunity for him to find something better. As far as job search if he is where he graduated from college, he could try hitting then up. Most college often have service to help former graduates find employment other then that monster and the like.
     
    @yahoo.com dapped this.
  3. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
    The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    40
    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2015
    Messages:
    872
    Daps Received:
    1,242
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Single
    Losing a job is a really depressing and stressful situation for anyone.

    Primarily, please don't remind him or throw it in his face that he lost his job, even in an argument. Try to make sure that you divert the topic of employment from the majority of communicating. You can also try to come up with things to do leisurely at the spare of the moment to distract him from thinking about looking for a job; the littlest things count. As for the actual job search process, he needs to make sure he applies for unemployment insurance in the state he resides in. While collecting that temporary income, he should be looking for work at least 2 times a week. In addition to that, he can either look into temporarily volunteering either for events/projects or a specific place once or twice a week. This can help to add to his resume and prevent an employment gap. Not saying he is going to be unemployed for a long time; however, it's unpredictable. In doing either, during a job interview, he can answer the "What are you doing at the moment/now?" question without saying "Nothing right now...". That question can determine from the employer either he is proactive while unemployed or just lazy/inactive.

    Hope this helps.
     
  4. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
    Site Founder The 10000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
    Messages:
    3,657
    Daps Received:
    12,637
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Not looking
    This is where I stopped reading...Everyone is dating but me...even the unemployed brothas...:mjcry1:

    [​IMG]
     
  5. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
    Squad Leader Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,032
    Daps Received:
    2,476
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    World Traveller
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Married
    I think the best thing you can do is be there and support him in small but meaningful ways (i.e., while he on the computer searching for job, make him a sandwich). With that being said, what kind of industry did he get laid off from?
     
    @yahoo.com dapped this.
  6. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    45
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,533
    Daps Received:
    7,157
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanna
    I have been fired and laid off. So I know what this is about. This is gonna be a little allover the place but bear with me.

    Tell him that for the next two weeks to just breathe. It's easy to panic but take the next two weeks to relax... Or try to. It's not the end of the world but it may feel like it.

    As has been said, sign in for unemployment ASAP. This is usually approved and processed within a week in most states so he should be able to get a check best week for that. Also don't be ashamed to get yourself EBT benefits this is what your tax money goes for and it's meantime to be temporary anyway.

    Brush up the resume and then when he's ready, post it. Also, have the resume ready to go as an attachment to email. I saved mine on dropping and Google Docs so it was alway updated and ready to go. Gather all of his contact info, phones, email addresses for his previous employers. They are going to ask for this on every application. May also want to take a photo of or scan his degrees and professional certifications as pdfs so they can be uploaded to applications as additional documentation.

    Also set up a separate email address just for employment like ControlledXaos.job@domain.com.

    This will make management of job related emails and notifications easier without getting cluttered in with personal email. I almost missed an opportunity because of it got lumped in with other stuff.

    Indeed.com is better IMO than Monster and Career Builder but that was my experience. Indeed worked as an aggregation system. But This depends on his field. If he is a member of a frat, see if any of his brothers have any leads. Also if there's a university alumni chapter, he can look their for leads as well.

    What you can do is be there as a rock for him. Just have to reassure him that he gon' be alright.

    Now I will be real.... It's hard to get a professional level job during the holidays but it's possible. However he may be waiting until the end of the quarter for many companies before they get back into hiding mode but this too depends on region and field.

    Good luck as I know what that's like .
     
    @yahoo.com, Jdudre and grownman dapped this.
  7. @yahoo.com

    @yahoo.com When the lights get low, I Burn Brighter.
    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    43
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2015
    Messages:
    299
    Daps Received:
    348
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta, Ga
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    He is in Human Resources... and while he may know what to do to get a job, it is a hard industry to move within. Thanks for the advice.
     
  8. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    45
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,533
    Daps Received:
    7,157
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanna
    Well if he's familiar with HR practices, he should do well with volunteer work as far as helping people get things together with resumes, professional appearance, and interview skills. He could also be a career coach for others.
     
  9. Kouncelor

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2015
    Messages:
    270
    Daps Received:
    329
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston, MA
    I've been unemployed twice in my life.. and dated guys that were unemployed.
    1. I never made their employment an issue. We were not living together or supporting other financially. One dude, I stayed at his place often..and he COOKED even though times were tight financially. So sometimes just brought groceries.. without being asked.. without saying anything.. brought them in his house and put them away. No conversation. Everyone has an ego that needs to be strokes sometimes, especially at our lowest points.
    2. If he is open to discussing careers (don't push it), see if he is willing to look at other careers where he could apply his skills and experiences. He's going to need different versions of his resume for different jobs. I have worked in 4 different industries in my life and acquired skills from each that I am able to use today.
    3. Create a completely professional linked in profile. Employers will often look for this when they get a resume. (and w/ the email, makes sure it's a professional looking one..not bootielove2@gmail.com)
    4. Clean up his Facebook and other social media sites. Make sure he checks his media presence (google himself). Employers check this too

    Your dude probably knows most of this stuff from being in HR.
     
    @yahoo.com and Jdudre dapped this.
  10. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
    Squad Leader Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,032
    Daps Received:
    2,476
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    World Traveller
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Married
    From personal experience about three years ago, I abruptly quit my job in the legal field and left law school with no real plan. I was dating my now husband at the time for about three years and he was as shocked as everyone but he didn't get cray about any of it. He supported me. I had some savings so for a while I was doing okay sticking to a tight budget but after about three months without a job, I was getting scared and to my surprise, he said don't worry we should be helping one another in good time and bad. Right now you may be having a bad time and if that means we both eat turkey sandwiches then so be it. I found a job a few weeks after that talk but it really had an impact on me. He did not once bring up that I was unemployed, he never made me feel less because we were not turning up every weekend like we had in the past. He asked me about my job search with genuine interest instead of that breathing down my throat. He lift me up when I needed a boost. That what should be done, especially if he is still trying to continue his grind.
     
    #10 BlackguyExecutive, Nov 11, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2015
    grownman, @yahoo.com and Jdudre dapped this.
  11. @yahoo.com

    @yahoo.com When the lights get low, I Burn Brighter.
    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    43
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2015
    Messages:
    299
    Daps Received:
    348
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta, Ga
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single

    thank you for sharing... Congratulations on your marriage. It seems like you have a good one!
     
  12. @yahoo.com

    @yahoo.com When the lights get low, I Burn Brighter.
    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    43
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2015
    Messages:
    299
    Daps Received:
    348
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta, Ga
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    Thanks for the advice man. It is a tough time and you said the key word that I am cognizant of at this time - - - EGO! I do not want to bruise it in any way. thanks again for the great advice.
     
    Kouncelor dapped this.
  13. alton

    Squad Leader The Great Debater The 1000 Daps Club

    Age:
    43
    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2015
    Messages:
    1,790
    Daps Received:
    2,770
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    LOL!!
     
    @yahoo.com dapped this.
  14. Sean

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    41
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    493
    Daps Received:
    756
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    DFW
    Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Dating:
    Single
    Am I the only one that's noticed how important sandwiches are to @BlackguyExecutive? lol.

    Having been unemployed recently, I recommend letting him vent and worry, but gently keep him grounded and centered. In other words, don't let him go overboard and become negative all the time. It's good to just be upset and concerned for a moment to just get it out your system. Stay positive and supportive, but not in an obnoxious way. Be emotionally available. Ask what you can do to help...and real talk, making a sandwich or some other random small act of kindness goes a long way.

    Indeed.com is a site that I found the most useful during my searches. My experience spans a few different professions and skill sets and I was able to search for jobs in all areas through them.

    I am happy to look over resumes and cover letters.
     
    #14 Sean, Nov 25, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2015
  15. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Je suis diplomate
    Squad Leader Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    35
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,032
    Daps Received:
    2,476
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    World Traveller
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Married
    LMAO!!! I mean I guess I am trying to say that we normally eat very well in our household. But if there ever comes a time where we got to each sandwiches, I am totally down until we can get back on the up and up.

    [​IMG]
     
    @yahoo.com dapped this.
  16. TheEdge

    Squad Leader The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    29
    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2015
    Messages:
    111
    Daps Received:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Lusaka
    Dating:
    Single
    The time i as unemployed this is what i appreciated the most because i could never get myself to ask for groceries money
     
    Kouncelor and @yahoo.com dapped this.
Loading...
Similar Threads - Lost Forum Date
Struggle: The Life and Lost Art of Szukalski - Netflix Television and Web Series Dec 29, 2018
Before and After Steroid Detransformations, These Guys Lost it All Sports and Athletes Feb 21, 2017
Bishop Eddie Long Already Lost His Weight for 2017 Group Discussions Dec 28, 2016
He Lost...Who The Fuck Cares What Bernie Sanders Wants?! Race, Religion, Science and Politics Jun 8, 2016
The Lost Scrolls of J. Dilla Music and Podcasts Feb 10, 2016

Share This Page

Loading...