Marriage Is Boring

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by BlackExcellence, Jan 15, 2016.

  1. BlackExcellence

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    I found this article to be pretty interesting. While the article is geared towards straight people there are some universal truths. @ockydub or any other members in a long term relationship or marriage any thoughts?

    "Marriage is the establishment of routine, the elimination of mystique about significant others, the mundanity of commitment. A lot of married people go out of their way to make marriage seem attractive. We tell our single homies marriage means you get to WAKE UP! EVERY DAY! NEXT TO YOUR BEST FRIEND! There is that. But most days? There are no trumpets accompanying that moment. Just morning breath.

    So it is true, in a sense, that marriage is boring and unmysterious. For me, however, this is all its charm"

    "Master of None" was right: Marriage is boring. | truly tafakari
     
  2. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Marriage is not only boring, its a self-imposed prison...
     
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  3. NickAuzenneNOLA

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    Marriage is what you make it. If you have a clear idea about what you want your commitment to look like and you make a conscious decision daily to avoid the rut or routine it can last. My parents have been married 32 years, they put their marriage first, didn't allow themselves to become roommates as they say. They still go on dates, went on vacations, even without us, as children and now in retirement they spend a little less than half their time at their vacation home in Mustique enjoying the hell out of each other so it can be done.
     
  4. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Like with most things in life, everything isn't for everybody. If you don't like marriage, find something that works for you. The only way to do that is be open and explore. Sometimes if your life is mundane and boring, so are your relationships.
    :kermit::sass2:
     
  5. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    A relationship can be boring, marital or non-marital. If you don't want it to be boring, it's the responsibility of the both of you to do what is needed to so it won't be boring.
     
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  6. DreG

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    I think after a while you're no longer in fairy-tale butterflies in your stomach love,but if you two are still growing and exploring new things in life there shouldn't be a problem.If you two are still compatible throughout the rest of your lifetime you can find something to keep things afloat. The whole concept just isn't right for some people.That has to be taken into account too.
     
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  7. cypher21

    cypher21 Deactivated Account
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    Anything can be boring in life if you let it be...I'm not having such a HUUUGE blast being single...it's what you make of it. If your marriage is boring then you're doing it wrong. Maybe you didn't choose the right person to share that with..it happens..People create all kinds of situations and arrangements in marriages to satisfy their partners and themselves, communication, compromise...their really isn't any excuses for being in a lackluster marriage and then blaming it's existence instead of your own personal failings. Some don't work out and that's fine, we all make mistakes, but if marriage isn't for you it isn't for you not the whole world.
     
    #7 cypher21, Jan 16, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2016
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  8. Nigerian Prince

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    Wow the varying perspectives. @Nick Delmacy self-imposed prison? will you just date around forever? Then @ockydub I do feel like if you keep the spice alive then it should be fine. @NickAuzenneNOLA I can say the same thing for my parents. They are coming up on 25 or 26 years of marriage and they still really enjoy each other. All relationships have their ups and downs but keep working at it.
     
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  9. Cyrus-Brooks

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    I agree with @NickAuzenneNOLA marriage like with all things is what you make of it. Yes familiarity tends to break contempt as the saying goes but there is also a comfort that comes with the familiar. You have to find other things to keep you together with a person other than what attracted to them initially because we change over time. Relationships are hard work and you have to put effort into maintaining them.
     
  10. scooter

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    I think some people romanticize the idea of marriage. Yes, everyone desires to wake up next to their best friend, put on a big wedding ceremony, and live it up at the wedding reception. However, when reality sets in you soon realize that marriage is hard work, and not as easy to walk away from like the average boyfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend, girlfriend/girlfriend relationship. I admire couples that make can make their marriage last well into their 50s and 60s, but now and days people so quick to plan the divorce, before the marriage can get up off the ground. That's just my two cents!!!

    image.gif
     
  11. grownman

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    It really ain't nothing else to say-marriage can work if BOTH are willing to work at it.
     
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  12. jpo

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    I never really got why any of us wanted marriage - that is until everyone got so worked up trying to ensure that those of us who did want marriage couldn't enjoy it. But that said, I's still not sure what the big deal is. I was in a relationship for 23 years and there were plenty of boring days. And then there were those days where I wished it could be boring, what with all the drama. Now I am single and there seem to be just as many boring days and just as many drama days. When it comes right down to it, I am not sure that whether something is boring or not, whether it is exciting or not, is a good way to evaluate the worth of any situation. Would I like to be able to wake up every morning with someone next to me - you bet - just not sure it has to be the same person every time.
     
  13. grownman

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    Love the response-the only thing that I am iffy on is the same thing you are.

    Would I like to be able to wake up every morning with someone next to me - you bet - just not sure it has to be the same person every time.
     
  14. BlackguyExecutive

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    Marriage is what you make of it, many people think of it as an institution of the highest order of relationships. Some people view it as a legal contract that affords certain protections and benefits. Other view marriage as two separate entities becoming something completely new. Marriage can be an adventure especially if you have a partnership with someone you consider your best friend or soul mate or partner-in-life. I think marriage provides stabilization and is a vitally critical experience for any modern civilization. With that being said, marriage isn't for everyone and I certainly think people should think long and hard before entering such enterprise. I also think marriage is hard work and requires considerable attention as both individuals grow and progress.

    View attachment 1378
     
    #14 BlackguyExecutive, Jan 18, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2016
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