Best Posts in Thread: Mr. Robinson and The Graduates: Dating Younger Men

  1. machoBLKnerd

    The 100 Daps Club

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    when i was in my 20s i dated older mostly (avg: 5 yrs). now that i'm in my 30's i date younger (avg 6-8 yrs). i dont give it too much thought generally and i dont target. it's just worked for me that way.

    i do know that i have a savior's complex which i've been working on both in friendships and in romance. i have to stop making others my projects. but if i had to choose as a hypothetical (and false) choice btwn younger and impressionable and older and jaded, i'd take the former over the latter everytime. sincerity is hugely important to me that i've been willing to overlook a lot of things for it and i find it more often in my younger dating connections than more seasoned dudes who've often hardened a bit.

    that said, i would date anyone within a 10 yrs older or younger range.
     
    #5 machoBLKnerd, Feb 18, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2019
  2. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    At first I kinda felt like this post was generalizing until this paragraph acknowledgment.

    FYI...for folk, me and my dude have a 10 yr age difference.
     
    mojoreece, Winston Smith, SB3 and 2 others dapped this.
  3. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    It's a good movie, check it out.

    Another benefit to being the elder, I can share things with them. And they can explain that BET "Boomerang" reboot to me.

    Its a Trinidad & Tobago film called, "Play The Devil."



    Yeah his comment reminded me that this isn't a 'one size fits all' issue. I have insecurities like everyone else but a lot of mine are mountains out of molehills (ie: a little grown man stomach pudge and nerd interests). When I complain on the site I always wonder if other dudes are like:



    Yup. I saw it coming too. LOL


    [​IMG]

    Yeah this dating shit is a mess now, much more so than it was 10 years ago. It's a mess in Atlanta and it was a different kind of mess in Los Angeles. So I really do believe that my midwestern sensibilities would do better in a non-gay fab city.

    I met up with a masculine 27-year-old truck driver today. He lives alone, has two jobs, had his dirty work clothes on, dirty fingernails and was smoking Newports. In a 2 hour convo, he once never mentioned a Diva. Cig smoking aside, I was turned all the way on. Most ATL gays would call him "The Help" and look down on his job and age but I just saw him as a regular guy who likes men. Which, surprisingly, is rare in this city.

    Might not lead to anything but was still refreshing.

    You've been out of the game for some time but believe it or not, in Atlanta, dudes WILL reject you for not being 95-100% of what they are looking for...if not a full rejection, they will string you along with random texts and promises to eventually meet up as they keep looking for that 100% dude they will never meet...and if they do meet him, that dude will string him along too as he searches for his own 100% dude.
     
  4. ControlledXaos

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club

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    Better you than me.

    I just don't have time for young cats.

    I have been hit up by them on apps but, in the back of my mind I'm thinking.... I know I'm getting into daddy classification and I'm okay with that, but I'm not generous. I don't have 'body'. And all I would want from these guys is some good good. Which is fine if that is all they want from me so that would make thing mutually agreeable. However, the generation gap does have some cultural and experience differences that would cause a mismatch and make dating a constant learning lesson. You learning stuff from them and you teaching them stuff.

    I can barely figure out how to put on a SnapChat filter. These guys don't have patience for me I don't think, and I don't think I do for them. I'm on Xbox and most of them have PS4 and Switch. I have full time job so my weekends are free. Oh you gotta stock on Friday night? You're closing on Saturday night? You're covering KayKay's shift Sunday afternoon? But are free all day Tuesday? Oh, ok. Well I'll holla.

    Honestly, I have not been too confident until recently because most of my hang ups revolve around my physical appearance, mainly weight. Yeah yeah, I get that I'm considered thick and swole and that is alright but mofos want abs. Ok, maybe they will settle for a tummy, but at the end of the day, a flat stomach is what's poppin'. And after this last weekend, seeing a group of gays 'our age' running around with decently flat stomachs, crazy abs, and track star obliques, even after I was encouraged to and did take off my shirt among the tribe of them, (maybe they'll be a thread about that later, maybe not) I still felt a tad self conscious, even after getting a few compliments. Again, this is a hang up I admit to and work on and I may never be 100 percent happy with it but I don't think I need to go on someone's couch to talk about it. At least not for that issue out the greater scheme of things I could be on somebody couch for.

    Back on track...so when 40+ guys are running out here looking like they 32 with 26 year old bodies, and I'm over here feeling like Jabari the Hut, why on earth would someone actually 26, who I could chronologically be their daddy, want anything to do with me? I feel like I can barely compete in my own demo, let alone THAT demographic.

    One thing that being in a gay mecca has taught me is that the bar is HIGH for physical appearance. Way higher than what I came from and I understand now more than ever why these fellas are so adamant about masc 4 masc, fit 4 fit, and etc because they probably had to work so hard to get a golden ticket into the door themselves or they stressed the freak out because they can't eat the deep-dish pizza and cheesecake they really desire so they can stay within the gates.

    The other stuff.... fancy titled job, lux brands, and such ain't me. Even if I was making 80k a year, you'd still see me in my Levi's and Target brand t-shirts, eating at the hole in the wall wing joint, and trying to find a hotel with a free breaffus for vacations. I'll go one up and get an Air BnB though. lol

    edit for readability
     
    #3 ControlledXaos, Feb 18, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2019
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