NICK'S ADVICE: Whether You're Gay, Bisexual, Shy, Nerdy, Overweight, Underweight, Introverted, etc

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by Nick Delmacy, Jan 18, 2016.

  1. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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  2. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    Such an underrated way of looking at things. Sadly most of us don't fully learn this until in our late 20s.
     
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  3. grownman

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    Thanks for reminding me-you try to be nice to folks. I gotta few good "FUCK YOU'S" coming soon to a few idiots near me.
     
  4. African King

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    Yeah that's all I can do.
     
  5. SB3

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    You is kind. You is smart. You is important.
     
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  6. Champagne Papi

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  7. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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  8. acessential

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    100% Folks who don't like you aren't gonna like you regardless. You might as well like your gaddam self.
     
  9. questforknowledge

    Bae Material Squad Leader The 100 Daps Club

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    I cosign this. I wish a lot of these young guys out there understood this, it will carry you a long way when it comes to dating.
     
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  10. grownman

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    That's closes we can without beating and going to jail The few I one I met with came and deliver with stupidity. Guess who-a gay male. I have decided to distance myself and pretty sure they will get the hint., I know this was not for me directly but It did what needed to be done.
     
  11. grownman

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  12. cypher21

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    Easier said then done.
     
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  13. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Was out w a friend having drinks a couple weeks ago discussing this issue. 100% of the high school and college friends we were so paranoid and worried about "finding out" either aren't even in our lives anymore due to graduation, relocation or moving on to new friends...or they just don't care.
     
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  14. cypher21

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    Right, but those aren't the only relationships in one's life. I don't want to counteract the main purpose of the theard, just sharing my thoughts on it. Being yourself and not caring what others think is a great I'm sure but not always practical for me personally that's why I said that.
     
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  15. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Well good luck, lil homie...I can tell you though that I wasted so many years worrying about some uncle or cousin knowing about me, now that I'm grown and barely seeing them at all (they have their own families) I regret being worried about them and what they might think.
     
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  16. cypher21

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    Maybe. And maybe it wasn't time wasted but the amount of time it took you to learn how to be that way. Thanks for the post.
     
  17. Champagne Papi

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    [​IMG]
    One step at a time, mate, one step yeh.
     
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  18. cypher21

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    [​IMG]
     
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  20. ControlledXaos

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    It takes different people different amounts of time to get to where they are comfortable being their true selves around everyone. There's no rush to it @cypher21 and there's levels to this ish. You don't have to turn the switch on for everyone.

    Partly I think many gay men don't know themselves to even be themselves around others especially when people are trying to fit in with the In Crowd.
     
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  21. Cyrus-Brooks

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    Hell, a lot of us don't learn that until our 30s. I was well into my 30s before I became fully comfortable with myself.
     
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  22. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    This is true but we grew up in a very different time...a time with no gay marriage, no Jason Collins, no Michael Sam, no Frank Ocean (?) and more importantly, no Cypher Avenue... I'm not saying dudes should put rainbow flags on their backpacks and car bumpers, but they shouldn't NOT do anything they want to in life just because of what others may think about them. Its a waste of time and happiness in this short life.
     
  23. cypher21

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    Self acceptance is a universal problem, not another generational thing...Quite frankly, I couldn't care less about those people because they are far removed from my own life and issues. They have money and the power to do whatever they want and there has been plenty of backlash against all of them because of their sexuality. We still live in a very homophobic world on top of other reasons a person may not love themselves. Like ControlledXaos said its deeper then that, I just can't change the way I think overnight and I think it's worth stating that because sometimes it's hard to get guidance from others that have made it the "other side" of learning something or different personalities. This site and its members are the only thing that helps me feel better about myself in that way because you all are normal people with similar problems. Other people want to happy like everybody else but it takes time.

    *sigh and I said I wouldn't say anything -__-*
     
    #23 cypher21, Jan 20, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2016
  24. cypher21

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    It's no surprise that this is a problem that has crippled me for years, and especially now, but I came across this video today that helped me tremendously in figuring out why it's so hard for me to let go of other people's opinions, even all of yours. Yes it's long, but well worth it for anyone also struggling to live their life and describes actually how I've been thinking for most of my life. The key goal for me now is to become completely independent of the good or bad opinions of others.
     
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  25. grownman

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    I have seen this video and it's a great help.
     
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  26. Boaxy

    Boaxy SO FIERCE
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    It would be easier if I had a boyfriend though. I can't always use that "fuck people, I'll be myself shit."

    Until I have a man of my own to turn to and say "he's my fucking man y'all" Then I can't with this sorry. :(
     
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