Online Connections: Friendships and Relationships Made through Social Media

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Nigerian Prince, Jun 24, 2016.

  1. Nigerian Prince

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    I started connecting with people on Facebook in different groups targeted to black gay men. I been gettin' mad likes and reactions to my NON-NSFW work pics and all you know what I'm sayin! LOL! But no seriously, I have been very careful to not misrepresent myself online. I can only be me.

    Most of the people who've been on Cypher Avenue already know that I have been active in meeting dudes off of here and things have been great with them. Everyone has formed their own groups and when people go into certain towns, they let each other know and they hang out. Some of them ended up dating and whatever so that's what's up. Most recently, I met @Pathology18 when I was in ATL for pre-Memorial Day festivities and it was dope meeting him. Such a kind man, funny, intelligent and handsome on top of that! I hope to just keep building and growing with him and the other guys I met off here since back in 2014.

    How has it been for you guys connecting with people through social media whether it is on Cypher Avenue, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Periscope, Snapchat, etc?

    Any of you made friends and met them in person whether or not they were already in your city?

    Any of you establish REAL relationships with another dude online? Any of you end up moving for love?

    Tell me what it has been like for you.
     
  2. Winston Smith

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    That's good to hear, get out and mingle. Go west, young man (and east, and north, and south). I'm only on here, and other sites I frequent, for platonic conversation and to give support, financially or spiritually, as there are a number of black gay male writers and artists I financially contribute to, with no "ulterior motives." Sadly, the social media for gay/bi men often seems strictly for hookups, sex, NSA drive-bys, etc. And there's nothing wrong with that! It's just a shame that many of us don't see social apps for being, well, social. Yeah, I know about those occasional stories about friendships and even LTRs that develop on Jack or Grindr, but we know that's, as the statisticians say, the unusual part of the curve's tail.

    I occasionally use Twitter, Tumblr etc. for my side business and consultations for small businesses. I readily encourage folk to use their "marketing mix" and have a multitude of social media accounts to reach the widest audience possible. I don't use social media to meet people on a personal level, however, I prefer old fashioned face-to-face meet and greets (and not in bars), partly because of the nature of my day job (having to avoid illicit drug users and "disreputable associations"), but I've always been that way, even in high school and college ( a chat room to me was that corner table at Starbucks or Applebys, lol).

    In that respect, I'm envious of Orthodox Jews and Indians, as I believe there is something to arranged relationships and Fiddler-On-The-Roof matchmaker types. It's easy to be on autopilot when you're in the "young, dumb, full of cum" phase, but you have to know how to transfer from that stage (whenever you get to that point). As a matter of fact, the guy I'm talking to now was sort of arranged (through mutual professional association). I actually think if we had more Gay Matchmakers of the quality of the proverbial Jewish matchmakers, @Nick Delmacy and a whole lot of other folk would be happier! They have an innate ability to put people together in a way that apps or computers can't (and remember, computer dating has been around since President Johnson was in office, way before eHarmony). While Americans wince at those kind of arrangements because of infantile conceptions of "love" and "romance" I see it much like job interviews. When I get someone's CV or resume (i.e. online), that tells me a small part about their potential and accomplishment; but in-person questioning gives you qualitative info no amount of technology can generate. Dating is just another form of interviewing, lol!
     
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  3. Discordant

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    I've made some decent friends through social media, specifically Facebook. I'm in a group and have managed to develop some real bonds with the fellas on there. When they come to town, or I'm in their neck of the woods we're sure to meet up. Never developed a relationship from online stuff, though. All of mine have been from people I meet in person.
     
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  4. itsumoconfused

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    Can't respond long since I'm on a dying phone. But long story short can't wait to meet some of you guys from the Site in person! A lot of interesting dudes with things going for them from all over. So.... if anyone is in nyc and interesting maybe we can do some kind of member meet up.
     
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  5. Winston Smith

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    Ditto for Chicago. I gripe about this place, but Oscar (moi) does get out of the trash can every so often and sees some cool things here on Sesame Street lol
     
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  6. NikR

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    Ayyye, that's great!

    To answer the questions,

    1. yes I've made some great connections on cypher and FB.

    2. I haven't met anyone yet, but that's coming up this week now that I have some time to do some driving.

    3. a) yeah
    b) yeah its highly likely that I'll move in a few months
     
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  7. madmoral

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    I made all my best friends on the sites that focus things that interest me. facebook..not so much.
     
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  8. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    If I met anyone in person beside @ControlledXaos off of here, they would instantly not like me and would cancel their Cypher Ave account. I will remain in the shadows.

    [​IMG]
     
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  9. ControlledXaos

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    Oohhh hea we go. Mofos already saying we second besties as is.
     
  10. ColumbusGuy

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    C'mon. Really? Is that you on the podcasts, just being yourself, or are you being someone else? You seem on the podcasts like you would be fun to hang out with and drink with, and even argue with lol. In fact when you say something or have some opinion that pisses me off, I think of you on the podcasts and you laughing or getting fed up with Nick evading questions and I am not pissed off anymore. When I put that dumb 'love ya Ocky' on your stuff I was pissed so I put that to remind myself of the Ocky of the podcasts so I was not pissed anymore. Yeah, I am nuts I admit it. And yeah, I am not an easy person to like-I know it. lol. Again it is what it is and I am too old to change and am almost to the point of not giving a sh@t about it either. I am actually saner on here than in real life, sadly. lol.
    :snoop::sadbron::troll:


    To the original question, I have made a few friendships online. This is a different space and I know I am an 'outsider looking in' pretty much here, and am not particular popular with more than a few people, but that is ok. I have been the most popular among a group before, but I have more often been among the very least popular of a group so it what it is.

    *there seem to be many decent intelligent guys on here and I would hope you all would make the best of getting to know one another and all off the site, especially if you live close to one another.
     
    #10 ColumbusGuy, Jun 25, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2016
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  11. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Its takes a special kind of homo/bisexual to deal with me in person. I'm an offensive-self hating-effemophobe-anti-feminist to most gays.
     
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  12. ColumbusGuy

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    Offensive?...well...lol. But I think If you aren't offending someone then you have no really strong thoughts or opinions or nothing interesting to say, or you do and are just keeping your mouth shut about them so you appear 'nice'.

    self-hating? I don't think so.

    effemophobe? I don't think so either. Being pro-masculine black gay is not being anti-femme black gay. Even if you do make fun a bit. This site exists because you guys felt you were not being represented, and you want fairer representation, not to shut down anyone else, just to have a voice alongside theirs to show that yes, you and people like you exist. You have gotten flack for that, and have given back what you have gotten, so that is why it may seem that way. Gays tend to by messy and take things very personally and this falls right into their laps for 'throwing shade' and 'reading to filth' so you are automatically anti-femme. It is the binary thinking cropping up-you are either with us or against us, and you are seen as 'against' instead of just 'other'.

    Anti-feminist? I don't think so entirely. I think you would favor traditional feminist things. Equal pay for equal work, equal opportunity, the right of a woman to choose what to do with her body. You know, equality. This latest wave of feminism is not even feminism in my book, it is some weird hybrid. The ERA died on the vine and none of these new feminists seem to give a shit-when do they mention it? I don't think they care about 'equality' at all really. So being anti-'them' is not being anti-feminist to me really.

    And most gays? 'Most gays' are dumb or if not they are shallow as fuck. Sad but true. Which is one of the reasons I avoid most gays myself. I grew up around boys, had mostly boy friends(with a few exceptions) my whole life, and the closer to being like a girl a gay guy is the more annoying I find them to be. Maybe it was because I grew up around all boys(even if they could be evil fucks) but the girls that were around in the neighborhood and at school were worse than the boys and could be just as evil but also stuck up bitches? Who knows?I tried hanging around them but they were just real little bitches lol. My mom was not the 'prissy' type of woman either so I just did not have to deal with it and still don't want to-at most I will deal with them over the computer on some site or something, but not in real life if I can avoid it. And I am not anti-woman, I just get along with certain women who are not about all that feminine stuff I could not care less about.

    Straight men may be bad, but many gay men and women seem much more treacherous in the long run. I think as they get older and if they are not too bitter and jaded they get a bit better though lol.

    *Every. single. bit. of office drama I have been involved in and most that I have been aware of has been the result of some woman or a gay man. Every bit.

    JMHO
     
  13. OckyDub

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    :babylawd::lawd:
     
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