Relationship Goals

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Nick Delmacy, May 24, 2016.

  1. Winston Smith

    Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

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    A lot of that is true, no doubt, but isn't "boring" a relative term? Different people like different things, especially at different ages. And of course, people move in generational cohorts like fish, so naturally millennials might find Gen-Xers or Boomers to be boring. The Gen-X and Boom folk found their older people to be boring too at one time! lol

    Now as far as age, maybe it's also that older guys have been there and done that. If you're young, you have many hills to climb and adventures to undertake and go on still, and hopefully, a career to yet discover and plant your flag in. Older guys have pretty much figured themselves out (for good or bad), gotten to where they intended to go (if they had a plan) and know very well what (and what type of people) they like or don't like. Finally, they are you, the younger guy, spent and drawn after the youthful adventures you're still experiencing. One day, you may be spent like them.

    Boring is also a function of intellect, thought and shared experience between or among parties. It's hard to be interested in another person if you do not share, or endeavor to understand, the experience of another. As I always told my nephews, the circumference of your activity is determined by the radius of your thought. If you're a shallow thinker, your radius is short and you move and act in small circles. The small thinker will find the bigger thinker "boring" because they don't comprehend the expanse. The big thinker finds the little thinker "boring" because they can't comprehend the expanse. If you're the "stereotypical gay," i.e. fashion chasing, gossipy, swallowing every pop culture trend and narcissistic, you're going to find another gay man who is educated, world traveler, accomplished, a business builder, or intellectual giant in his field (like an Alan Turing) to be "boring."

    I'm willing to bet most black folk (moreso bougie over-35 ones) would find Neil DeGrasse Tyson to be "boring" in person (even if they cheer him as a black role model for his IQ and notoriety) because they can't (and to be honest, don't really want to) understand the universe and physics like he does. He's even mentioned this in some lectures, about other black people trying to discourage him from astronomy because "that's not what black people are into and need." In his heart (though he seems to be the kind of person to be too charitable to admit it), he probably finds other black people "boring" because they don't want to understand science and the universe and would rather just "leave it in the hands of JEEEEEESUSSSS!!!!!!" rather than question, examine, contemplate and conquer the darkness and laws of the universe.

    My family and most gay black men I've encountered (at least in Chicago), have always thought I'm "boring" because I don't follow sports or certain TV shows religiously (even though I watch games and have Netflix and cable); never jumped on every fashion bandwagon (at least not since the age of 25); may not know every Top 10 r&b song at any given time; and, in the words of Admiral Hyman Rickover, would rather discuss ideas rather than events and other people. I think those people are "boring" and lame as hell because they don't have big plans; just "phone it in" on a job and then want to blame their lack of rise in the workplace on "racism"; generally don't even know the basics of LGBT history, let alone BLACK AMERICAN gay history; don't know what the hell the S&P or Dow-Jones is but blame "D. Whiteman" for their material condition; or know the names or accomplishments of black people who will never be mentioned on BET like Richmond Barthe, James West, Georgia Dunston or Sikivu Hutchinson. God forbid, a young brother is getting a medical degree, a masters in metallurgical engineering, or writing plays and being recognized with a MacArthur Genius Grant, because that's "boring" and we don't care about that on 106 and Park...unless all that boring stuff makes you money, then mofos will be on you like flies on fresh dog shit.

    So, maybe it ain't the "boring" people that are lame, maybe it's everybody else?
     
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  2. ColumbusGuy

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    I could talk about nearly anything as long as I knew a bit about it and could ask questions...I am not particularly ambitious at all in the traditional sense but I like new and different ideas and learning about all kinds of new things-even some that are trendy and shit. Except for technology- my mind goes to mush. And I agree, 'boring' needs to be defined-that is why I was asking but Nick ignores me like I am the token-older-gone-to-shit-failed-saltine that is allowed to wander here on this and drop a few crumbs LOL!

    Also a person could be brilliant and know all kinds of things but if the delivery and personality is like that of an autistic monotone cyborg it won't make a bit of difference-there has to also be some 'there' there, ya know? That is why some incredibly good looking people who may actually be quite intelligent and successful at some enterprise may be absolutely excruciatingly terrible to be around a lot, and also why some complete fukups can be great company as well.

    One of my favorite qualities is the ability of a person to continue to be able to find and enjoy a 'lively sense of the ridiculous' about life. Also curiosity...sometimes when things are difficult you can't give up simply because you are too curious about what this crazy world is going to serve up next and it might be something you don't want to miss lol.-if there is no afterlife the only way I am going to know about it is to stick around. And if not, Hell will be hell, and Heaven will be hell too- boring sitting around on clouds dressed in white and shit and can't drink, cuss, fuk, suk, or do anything fun cause, ya know, God is around and everything. smh.-no fun at all of any kind!

    no fun!.gif
     
  3. Tyroc

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