See... Yall Need to Act Right at the Bar!

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by SB3, Jun 11, 2018.

  1. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
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    1. If the bar doesn't have Hennessy, they're saying they don't want an 'urban' atmosphere. Do with that what you will.

    2. Know your damn order! Dont finally get to the front of the line and finally decide to ask your friends what they want. You will find yourself back, in the back, while being ignored, while in my face.

    3. Ask what 'house' is. Sometimes its a decent whiskey/tequila (good house/well vodka/gin is a lot more rare) and u can save urself a few bucks.

    4. Don't listen to @African King (who is now hooked on the bottle). Top shelf is usually good for drinking something 'neat' or 'on the rocks', but if ur gonna add juice, don't bother.

    5. 'Neat' means no ice, no chaser.

    6. 'On the rocks' means over ice, no chaser.

    7. 'Chaser' is juice/soda added to the liquor.

    8. If your bartender says, 'that's on me' or if you find your tab significantly less than it should be, that means ur bartender fux w you, for whatever reason, and expects to see that love returned in the tip.

    9. Stop being scared of opening a tab. Closing you out for EVERY $5 transaction is ridiculous, and that's why the line is so long.

    10. ^^ And ur wasting paper.

    11. Bring cash. The bartender will remember you as a cash (fast) customer.

    12. When you can, tip in cash. Zero time waiting for your 'actual' balance to catch up once things finally clear, and the bartender will skip paycheck taxes, and appreciate you for it. Also, see #9.

    13. Don't come w a party of 6 and all decide to try 6 different cocktails and share/taste...unless yall have time. 6 other parties of 6 did the same dumb shit before you and are also still waiting.

    14. @Nick Delmacy think's he knows me, and judges... but if you're not an experienced drinker who has a go to liquor (like our resident lush @OckyDub ), go w VODKA! It mixes well w ANY chaser (see above).

    15. It's not the price of the alcohol that gives you hangovers, its all of the sugary juices/sodas used as chasers.

    16. Vodka and club soda is gay water. Its what all of the body boys and calorie conscious chics drink.

    17. Tip ur fukn bartender! Any bartender worth his/her salt will remember a good tipper, and treat you as such.

    18. Don't tip the same for a beer, as you would if you got a craft cocktail, w a bartender muddling, and straining shit for your drink.

    19. If you're at an open bar, drop at least a $20 when you get your first drink, and you become vip. You WILL be remembered, and a line skipper. At my sister's wedding in Mexico, I dropped $100 on my first drink (I was there all week and was considering the fact that the wedding party obvs didnt have cash in their gowns) and they literally sent me home w bottles of liquor (in my luggage).

    20. That said, know that the ppl at these All-inclusives we go to are getting paid pennies to give you the same service that you tip for, back in the states.

    21. Remember, you're tipping for the service. 20% if you're happy w said service. If you're such a mensch, then take your ass to the liquor store and go home and make your own damn drinks!
     
    #1 SB3, Jun 11, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2018
  2. hannibal

    Most Comedic Player Squad Leader The 100 Daps Club

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    What are your thoughts on tops that use dildos?
     
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  3. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
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    See! Lmao. Im at work, and literally lol'd when i read this. Thankfully, it's a comedy show.

    As for tops w dildos, Im all for it. Eventho I've been a top 85% of my sex life, that prostate massage nut is everthing. Ijs...
     
    #3 SB3, Jun 11, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
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  4. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    One question I have for this "Bartender Ask Me Anything" is do bar owners water down their liquor or put cheap liquor in top shelf bottles?
     
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  5. Winston Smith

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    Oh man, can’t stress your No. 12 enough. I hate mofos (looking at a large segment of black folk and self-righteous white Christians) who dont tip right or at all. And yes, cash, because the Milton Friedman MBA in me says fuck the government trying to take what few pennies wait staff get in they pockets...

    Side note: I hate cities / places where they add the gratuity for you. I’m generous, but I reserve the right as a customer to say “pound sand” by leaving NO TIP for horrible service.

    Customer’s No.12: Don’t worry about how much I tip, I’m paying. Getting into my business and MY MONEY when tipping a waitress/bartender (and I’m a generous tipper) will get yo azz left at the bar. Shit used to drive me up the wall when I dated black women when younger and they would be all CPA on MY tip amounts. Same now goes for dudes.
     
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  6. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
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    Ive never worked at a place that did that, but it def happens. Any place that advertises '$5 Any Shot' is not giving you real Patron or Grey Goose. Just go midshelf. You like vodka oj, so titos is always your friend.
     
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  7. Nigerian Prince

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    LOL! When I had drinks this past Memorial Day Weekend, I got Kettle One pretty much for the vodka. A guy who crushed on me bought me a bottle of Grey Goose so I just had that at home for pre-gaming :p
     
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  8. takeyourmeds91

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    Okay so but for #18 - I never know how much to tip for a beer - 1) bottle or 2) draft.

    Am I tipping for the actual level of effort or the fact that you're spending time with me when it could have been with Joe a couple feet down? In either case, it's low commitment maybe unless the bar is packed.

    LOL at #16 - My go-to is a gin and tonic but now I'm def moving towards gin or vodka and club soda lmao Plus you get hydrated at the same time. tuh!
     
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  9. SB3

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    Thats how u keep it 'snatched' so the gays will look at you in public...but be careful w ur chaser. That juice is the real problem.
     
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  10. SB3

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    Bottle or draft, a dollar is fine. Cracking a beer is not exactly labor intensive, but if a bartender is working to find something that fits your taste buds, and/or offering you tastes before you decide, you could def show your appreciation.

    Also, tonic water IS NOT water ppl! That shit has a lot of calories.
     
    #10 SB3, Jun 13, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
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  11. SB3

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    22. Dont tip in coins...unless it's a dollar coin. It's much preferred for you to say, 'sorry man, im out of cash, I got you next time' than to treat a bartender like he's a panhandler on the corner.
     
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  12. takeyourmeds91

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    Yea it's loaded with sugar which is why I've been trying to make the change lmao
     
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  13. Krimsonic_

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    Good info on #12. I didn’t realize this.
     
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  14. SB3

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    Not a big deal, just something that might be doable, and more convenient for both parties.
     
  15. Winston Smith

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    Alright, barkeep @SB3, I got a curveball for ya:

    [​IMG]

    I love this stuff. Name some things you creatively would do with this, drink-wise. When I drink it, I usually ask to have it mixed with soda (not straight). Other than than that, I notice a) surprisingly, your fellow professionals always have a bottle on hand wherever I go, though I’m usually the first person in 27 years to order it (male or female); please remove the cobwebs before pouring; 2) Y’all always look at me strange for mixing it with anything rather than just straight on the rocks.

    So....?
     
  16. Winston Smith

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    While I’m disclosing my unsophisticated bammite drinking habits, also some advice on this:

    [​IMG]
    PS I hate all “regular” beers and ales ...
     
  17. SB3

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    Lol. Yea, soda is abt as good as it gets here. Peppermint is too overwhelming a flavor to mix without clashing. You get the side eye because its a liqueur, w less alcohol, so it can't be drank alone instead of being 'cut' or 'chased'.
     
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  18. SB3

    SB3 is a Featured MemberSB3
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    Nothing to do here! A lot of ppl just aren't beer fans. 'Hard' anything is a perfect way to disguise beer flavor. I also like hard root beer. Not 'bama' at all.
     
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  19. Winston Smith

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    I’ve been drinking this for liquid breakfast all week before getting on train and I find my coworkers way more tolerable. Lol. Germans are on to something letting you have a beer or two on the job.

    [​IMG]

    That being said, what are your best recommendations for Martini lunches? Before the “gummint” I worked at a Fortune 200 corp where a manager told us that unofficially the company didn’t care what we drank at lunch as long as we were not visibly or legally (DUI level) drunk. We were a much happier work team after that. You think Americans are too childish to handle a German style beer break before 5?
     
    #19 Winston Smith, Jun 14, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2018
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  20. SB3

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    Hell, why would 'taking the edge off' not apply to work? The rules are a formality, and well-intentioned. Everyone has different tolerance levels, so let's just say 'no!' But what someone doesn't know or can't tell...

    As far as martinis, that's a bit much for the average person. Unless it's some kind of fruity flavor, it's ALL booze. I'd recommend only true, tested boozers try this. Otherwise, if you need to take the edge off, just do a shot!
     
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  21. Winston Smith

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  22. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Follow up question: Is it cool to NOT tip a bartender if he’s ugly but THINKS he’s all that because he has a decent body?

    I just did this. Young Black Dude bartending at a Mexican restaurant messed up my order (a simple margarita) and never even asked if I wanted another drink after I was done eating their bland ass food. He just slapped a bill on the bar in front of me.

    Can’t even blame racism, even the White ppl got poor service from the other non-black bartenders.
     
  23. SB3

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    Lol. Hey, at the end of the day, it's your money. If you're genuinely unhappy w your service, it's your right not to tip. The problem comes into play when you have cheap/broke/hoodrat/socially inept ppl trying to find reasons not to tip, or acting like tipping isn't supposed to be a part of the hospitality experience.

    Ive not tipped once in my life, because a server took my order and NEVER came back. I even had to go to another server to get my bill. Because I didn't want to be a stereotype (it's sooo real) I wrote a short note on the receipt explaining why he wasn't getting a tip for his 'service'.
     
    #23 SB3, Jul 7, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2018
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