SUCCESS FIRST - COME OUT LATER ??

I think it depends on your career and work environment.

 

That's actually a good idea. I feel like a lot of gay men do that. Part of the reason they're super successful is because they don't want anyone to give them shit for being gay. Plus, it really matters if you're in a setting where you don't have job protections.

 

That,and then when nothing else can be milked from the story,such no boyfriend news or drama, the interest is totally lost.

 

Well,I meant that more so with the football player analogy,or any other public figure.Their fame is completely gone when "he's gay" stops being a draw.With an every day guy,I still think it depends on your environment,and how supressed you feel not letting everyone know around you.

 

Well there's levels to this.

You can be out but inner circle out. A lot of people are out to family and friends but not at work. You don't have to bust the door down when you come out. I think it's a per job, per company thing. I haven't felt it relevant for people at work to know I'm gay and that's with a very open door policy towards diversity. Someone could be reprimanded for negative talk about gays at my job.

 

I have to agree with what others have said it depends on what carrier field you're in whether or not you have protections at work or even what state you live in. In many states it's still legal for a company to fire you if they dislike your sexual orientation. So it would be wise to check state and local laws as well as company policy. It also depends on if you're a public figure or not. If you're in politics, pro-sports, acting, or some other high profile field coming out is going to negatively impact your career no matter what stage you come out if you're black. If you're white you're whiteness will provide a degree of insulation from any blowback from homophobes. That said I think being successful in your career provide you with some protection because people may overlook the fact they find your sexuality objectionable because you're good at what you do. On the other hand it may not. You may actually have more too loose if you do become successful then come out. This is one of those things where you gotta go with your gut. There is no right or wrong answer.

 

Even with this,I feel like some people will find a more covert way to express their homophobia.Kinda like how instead of lynching cops these days do "random" stops and searches. Like you said,just gotta assess the situation.

 

I agree people can be very sneaky in the workplace and will undermine you in ways that will damage your career and you may not even know it. Or you may singled out for extra scrutiny so there is pretext for passing you over for promotion or termination of your employment. Another thing I failed to consider initially is if you're self employed being open about your sexuality may hurt your business

 

" If you're white you're whiteness will provide a degree of insulation from any blowback from homophobes"
Im sure some would disagree, but this sh!t right here is very true for public figures.

 

I have one gay Facebook friend and his old job knew he's gay and doesn't have kids. They had this dude working on Christmas, sometimes being the only person in his department because they were like "oh well you Don't have kids so it doesn't matter if you are off or not." one time he posted that he had vacation days off and then someone "got sick" and not they called him in. Hell nawl.

I told him he needed to grow a pair and not let people run over him like that because if they do it once, they will do it again. He eventually left that company but AFAIK, he didn't address the issue, just posted about it passive aggressively.

 

Yes I know some people will disagree but being white still counts for something in this country also there will be more vocal support for public figure who is white that comes out than someone who is black that comes out. Which is why you see more actors for example who are white that are out. I can't think of any well known actor who black that is openly gay.

 

At least not openly. I can think of a few E lister celebs that it's an "open secret" thing how they were with Jodi Foster but nothing where they are out in an official sense.... Carl Lewis, TC Carson come to mind. People have tried to say Shemar Moore is gay for years but he may just like white chicks. He's biracial after all.

But while we here, what 30+ year old black male actors are out there, currently working, with no kids, wife, or girlfriends?

 

If there are any, guaranteed they're not A or even B List. You don't get to that level in Hollywood without a "Beard" and some "Pets" at your side.

 

Of course there aren't any out A-list celebrities. Being heterosexual is still a requirement. A quick search the internet I came up IMDB's list of openly gay actors. They're mostly white.
IMDb: Openly Gay Actors - a list by MarcusHoover

 

I just came out at work earlier this year. My plan from the beginning was to attain some level of success and job security before I outed myself. It took 10 years to do that. Appearantly being black in coorprate America and in the construction industry comes with its own challenges.

I'm not the type to lie, so I got really good at deflecting questions about my personal life and keeping everything professional. However, those more personal relationships are needed to move up corporate ladders. For example, if I never bring my mate to any office functions it looks like I don't like the job or Ive got something to hide. How can I be put in positions of confidentiality and trust if I appear shady with parts of my life? Plus after so long the only person I would be fooling is myself.

I came out in casual conversation to my boss and several coworkers I'm cool with. No big speech, no awkwardness, just a matter of fact. I've become so much closer and relaxed with everyone since. I even brought a date to a company dinner.

 

I think the "matter of fact" style is best. I don't think people need to make a big deal out of it.

 

Unfortunately, you are right.

 

I haven't told anyone at work just because I don't want it to affect my work environment at all...I'm pretty private at work anyway though...I just come to do my job and get where I need to be...there are some people that I hang out with outside of work that I'll tell but it's not something that I advertise...

 

Ironically if I stay in my current position, It's better if I stay in.
However if I want to promote up, It's easier and more attainable to be out.
Gay Black men are found less threatening and easier to work with.

 

On my job the old school white male power structure is very threatened by black men but more so by masculine black men.
Breaking it down by male or female also has to be broken down by race.