This class thing, has me thinking...

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Lancer, Sep 30, 2018.

  1. Lancer

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    So I ran into this dude during my after work commute,my type short about 5'7, nice smile and a mean back curve CAKES! lol. So in typical me fashion, I strike up a convo and give him my # to hangout. Few weeks later, we at this bar and I run into an old acquaintance from collage who is now a Doctor, Neurology. We start catching up, while the dude I was with was at the bar getting drinks...
    Acquaintance ; Is that the guy you interested in?
    Me; Yeah (smiling)
    Acquaintance; I see you haven't changed at all, still up to your same ways(laughs).
    Me: What does that mean?
    Acquaintance; No offence, but he is Ghetto.
    Me; *Pauses* That's a very rude and classist thing to say.
    Acquaintance;
    C'mon, you know me. I am from a lower middle class home, I grew up around dudes like him but after a while you have to step it up. If you want something serious. I mean what does he do for a living?
    Me; He is a security guard at the moment, also that has never mattered to me.
    Acquaintance; Ok, if you say so (what a 'oh poor you' look on his face)​

    Dude comes over with the drinks smiling and even got one for the acquaintance (In my mind I go, If you only knew what he just said about you) and starts chatting with him. When the acquaintance leaves, homeboy says 'oh he seems really nice, I had a good conversation with him'. No, he was just being patronizing( said in my head).
    Later, I find out that said acquaintance is with a TV host on a big network.
    It got me thinking about Wealthy dude from before( Finance and Dating(with Black Gay Men) ). I mean we vibed, but I was nowhere near his class or finances, which I think played a role in the distancing.

    A dudes class has never mattered to me, however as I am getting older and wouldn't mind something long term or of substance I don't know if it is something I should start considering.:thinking:
    Oh well, in the mean time let me go holla at this dude I saw at the cash register at Whole Foods. lol
     
  2. Cyrus-Brooks

    Cyrus-Brooks is a Featured MemberCyrus-Brooks The Black Vulcan
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    I've noticed that a lot of gay men are complete and utter bourgeois snobs. I would never knock someone who could be a potential date or mate if he's making an honest living as long as he's doing the best he can. Also there are a lot of blue collar jobs that pay good money like electricians, plumbers, welders, truck drivers, transit workers etc. I'd rather deal with guys like that than these pretentious queens who like to brag about their degree, but can't change a flat tire.
     
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  3. Jai

    Jai Being strong minded.
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    I'm snobbish...but I'm a "faux snob" & I'm like that with nearly all guys. If you show me some intellect and can make me laugh, I'll take interest in you so to say. I like aggressive dudes & the typical passive man will get nothing from me but a smile (because I'm a "nice" person). I'm too demisexual anyway so I'm going to have to get to know you through and through.

    I like the cute blue collar type too..A man with a degree or money or whatever doesn't interest me in the slightest.

    I've met guys who have thought whatever about me being "ghetto" and I am far from it. When I step out dressed and slaying they be trying to holla and I routinely ignore them.

    I'm single by choice spiritual path, which allows me to read men very carefully, but I notice a lot of others are single because they think they are better, stuck up and superficial & end up only dating Myvidster and Pornhub. *Shrugs*
     
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  4. DreG

    DreG is a Featured MemberDreG Art Heaux
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    Bill collectors don't care if the money came from tv or security,so I don't see why one makes a difference.If the lights are still on,I don't knock anyone who makes a comfortable living.
     
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  5. bpaisle

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    As long as we can go half, I'm good. Doesn't really matter what you do.
     
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  6. ControlledXaos

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    Facts.

    My degree hasn't really paid off for me so I can say having a degree doesn't make anyone better or worse. Employment is about timing and Like Factor. If you get the Culture Fit part of the interview and you've got charm and the creds, you're in.

    I think this is still part of the Power Couple mentality guys have.

    The way guys are these days, if you have your own car and crib where you can host, you're good.
     
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  7. alton

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    The Media and these super star "Power Couples" got muhfkaz heads fkd up out here. It's already damn near impossible to find a dude thas worth a damn nowadays, and a muhfka wanna try and act brand new and turn they nose up at a dude wit a "menial" blue collar job. FOH. I will take a n!kka that works at McD's long as he fits my standards and is a half way decent dude. Summa these 'Mo'z be killin me with they delusions of grandeur.
     
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  8. Winston Smith

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    This, a thousand co-signs
     
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  9. Lancer

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    I think its another way, in their mind, to upgrade their status. Like 'Yes, I am Gay however we are light years apart'.
    Power Gays, I think its what they are called.
     
  10. LeMignon

    LeMignon Sith Lord
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    Honestly, this is what matters to me. Can you pay your own bill on the date? I got mine and I got yours, but are you at least able to is what matters to me. The judgment and "I'm better than you" attitude is BS.
     
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  11. Lancer

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    I also think many Gay guys have this internal competitive spirit with one another. Always trying to one-up each other, like 'I am better at being Gay, than you' be it in Dating, Finances, Housing, Trips, Clothing, Friends etc.
    Like Bro, I DON'T CARE!
     
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  12. Winston Smith

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    Yep, there’s enough in every persons own life to work on self. My greatest accomplishments professionally or socially came when I viewed myself and past performance as the only “competition”. As corny as it sounds, I remember some coach or teacher saying, “The biggest room in anyone’s house is the room for improvement” lol
     
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  13. bpaisle

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    Yeah exactly. As long as I don’t have to worry about you having your half of the bills at the end of the month I’m good. You don’t have to have money to go out and kick it and travel and shit.

    I’ll just see you when I get back.
    [​IMG]
     
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  14. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    I LOVE working class black men... these MTA dudes in NYC be fine asf lol ... I saw a few on my subway ride, all sweaty and tired...and I almost turned into Antoine Mayweather of In living Color :feedme:
     
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  15. Lancer

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    Bruh, me too! All the dudes I have been interested in have been working class, this guy at the Butchers, many waiters lol, a construction worker, many security guards, guy at the cash register, Bus drivers etc I really don't know what that says about my taste in men...
     
  16. Lancer

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    Lets look at it from the other side, cos we all kinda agree here. Cypheravenue should have many opposing ideas, which will make things interesting not just a group of dudes who all agree all the time.
    Whats wrong in dating dudes in higher class or dating up?
    A friend of mine has always dated up. His dudes have been very well to do guys, and he feels down when he is rejected by the upper echelon dudes. His logic is, he came from a poor home and has struggled to get where he is now and hence his dudes should reflect his status. Which I do understand. I think straight dudes have that too, they would want their lady to reflect their 'Come up'. They might upgrade the one that has been with them all the while or do away with her for one that reflects his new class.
    Also in dating higher class dudes, one is exposed to many things and gets many opportunities that don't exist at the lower class level. Be it access to high paying job, cos the CEO of a company is a team member and liked the joke you told during the weekend getaway at Martha's Vineyard and offers you a position at the company when one arises or access to heavily connected and established group gay professionals who can get anything and everything done etc This does appeal to many Gay men, and I think there is a validity to their wanting to be in such class of folks.
     
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  17. HauteChocolat

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    I think class, generally speaking (in respect of the level of - exposure, manners, social graces, tastes etc. [not the pretentious/brand new thing]), and not strictly how much one earns/has, matters to a fair extent, to me at least. Although finance does invariably impact these things. Some people are fortunate to have been brought up inculcating a high enough level of these things, even though they mightn't currently earn enough to be fixtures in Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat, or Courchevel. Speaking of, the Queen of England's cousin, Ivar, met his husband who works for an airline, in Verbier!

    I don't think I want to be with someone who stands out oddly like a sore thumb (Tom Ripley in The Talented Mr Ripley - it usually doesn't end well). There's also something about not messing with people who may not have as much to loose as you.
     
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