Tinder and the other apps can be frustrating!

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Nigerian Prince, Jun 18, 2018.

  1. Nigerian Prince

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    I have made a few connections since moving my Tinder from Houston to metro Atlanta since I am moving back in 2 months but the irritating part about it is that quite a few dudes are on there simply for gaining followers on their social media (mainly IG & SNAP). I just think that this generation places value on a lot of the wrong things (at times but not all the time).

    People will complain about dating and meeting people but they don't give it the same effort like they give their jobs, their friends and so on. You ask for so much but then you barely put out the same thing you are asking for. Quite a few of these men are not vibrating at the appropriate frequency to attract what they desire. They want new but they stick doing the same stuff that keeps them single.

    I am happy to have put myself out there more recently but at the end of the day I think we gotta sift through the B.S. and find the cream of the crop. The cream always rises to the top of the coffee so while it seems a bit murky when looking inside but I believe that the best is yet to come so far as I keep a positive attitude. I just want to meet a good man who is on the same frequency as I am. We both out here trying to get it! With that being said though, I am taking the advice of Angela Yee from The Breakfast Club radio show.... she talks about how important it is to just keep meeting people that you really vibe with and not necessarily think "oh this may be my boyfriend or my husband" but just keep vibing and see what clicks. I may end up making new friends which is all good to have good vibes around me. It may just be a good time meeting up once for a cool date. The best thing to happen would be to sift through the hay and find that needle that can be used to sew together both of our lives and bring us together for that first official relationship that I will be in.

    Not rushing anything but it would be cool to just find a good man that fits in my life and it just makes sense. Staying optimistic.
     
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  2. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    One of my straight (Caucasian) friends of 12 years found his current girlfriend on Tinder. They don't have a whole lot in common besides their sense of humor, which is kinda enough. I don't really care for her, she's a smart ass and unnecessarily sarcastic ALL THE TIME but to each his own. Happy for him because he was single for awhile before meeting her.

    I say all that to say its possible, granted there is a difference between straight white people and gay black men on the apps.

    But to be honest, apps like Tinder and Jack'd are built around superficiality and meaningless conversations. If you do a google search on mainstream websites discussing Tinder, most call it a "hookup app." I think I only met 3 guys on the app over maybe almost 2 years being on it. None of them led to a second date.

    But you're young so you may have a different experience. The app blatantly favors younger people over older people by charging people over 30 years old $10 more for the premium features than users 29 and under.

    I do think Angela Yee's advice is correct....to a certain extent. While being social and meeting tons of people with low expectations is always good to do, personally I think the lines are far less blurred for straight people than for gays. When men approach women on apps, its clear what the intentions are: sex or dating. On the gay apps, you have people: Looking for social media followers, using the app just as entertainment when bored with no intentions of meeting ppl, catfishing, say they're looking to date but are really just gay friend collectors, etc. Not to mention the whole Top/Bottom compatibility issue that Straights don't have to worry about.

    Anyway, I think I'm back to just meeting ppl in person where I can. That's what worked for me back in the early Discreet City days. It wasn't until I hit that apps that I started comparing myself to the nikkas with the model profile pics who never replied back to messages, taking a dent in my overall confidence.
     
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  3. RolandG

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    Tinder sucks. Period. But i've never been a fan of apps anyway. As @Nick Delmacy said, there are few guys on there who have any intentions of dating or even meeting in person. Angela Yee is definitely on to something. I've registered for an app but not one that is like the norm.

    I registered for the Meetup App which is for finding people with shared hobbies or interests. NOT THE MEETUP DATING APP!!!!!. There is a difference. If i want to find cool people that like horror movies, it's easy to find people who want to meet up for a horror movie. If you like hip hop dance, there are groups just for that. Granted, the members are just as likely to be white and straight but i've met two cool friends off there that I meetup with regularly based off of an initial interest in playing tennis. One of them is black and is gay but not flamboyant at all. I would've never met him because he's not on any of the dating apps. Actually, he initiated our first meetup outside of tennis to grab some food and then invited me to a Juneteenth concert yesterday. We just clicked in that way. Not saying anything romantic will come out of it but maybe it could. It was just cool to meet him without any picture games, catfishing, delayed responses, etc. I would encourage people to just try it. It may work for you.
     
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  4. Winston Smith

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    I’ve had pretty good luck with Meetup for social events, as well. Joined a gay board gamers group in town, among other groups. My only disappointment is when you find a Meetup group whose topic looks like it’s up your alley, but the person who started the group never developed it.
     
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  5. Sean P

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    @RolandG and @Rico I'm here to put my plug in for Meetup as well. It offers a great opportunity to meet some really cool people.

    @RolandG Are you a USTA 3.0 - 4.0 or USTA 6.0+ player?
     
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  6. Nigerian Prince

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    I would like to know more about this meet up app you speak of @RolandG because it sounds like it might be the move. Do you let dudes know you're gay on it?
     
  7. Nigerian Prince

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    I wanna know more! Meet up? Never heard of it
     
  8. Nigerian Prince

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    @RolandG & @Nick Delmacy I am hoping that more will come from Tinder. Even with my last 8 weeks here in Houston. I had a date tonight and it took an unexpected turn...but I liked it though. :mynicca:
     
  9. Jai

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    I downloaded Tinder a few days ago and I'm lost. Maybe I'm not ready to date yet. I haven't utilized MeetUp but a girl.friend of mine did for an all girls get together and they said it was blast with the gilrs sleeping over, talking, and doing each other hair..etc
     
  10. Winston Smith

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    We are what we do

    You pretty much just tell it where you live and what you’re interested in (e.g. hiking, anime, etc.), it’ll show you any related groups or you can even start your own. For example here’s a listing of current lgbt Meetup groups in ATL
    LGBT Meetups in Atlanta - Meetup
     
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  11. Winston Smith

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    @Nick Delmacy Well here’s one more to throw on the bonfire of annual “We’re gonna change gay dating apps for the better!” attempts:

    Chappy – A new kind of gay dating app

    Probably meh, but I figured you’d like the layout/design from a site owner/entrepreneur viewpoint

     
  12. RolandG

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    I'm about a 3.0.
     
  13. Sean P

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    All right. Cool. One day I may DM you to see if you might want to hit around.
     
  14. SB3

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    I had no idea Tinder charged more for ppl over 30! That's crazy.

    Have you thought of trying match/eharmony/paysites? I tried a few years ago and didnt get anywhere, but at least there's the expectation that ppl willing to spend a few bucks and some time creating an actual personality profile are actually there for the otherwise, forbidden/dirty/scandalous d word.

    Idk man. I wish I had the answers, cus then I'd be rich. In the meantime, I'm just focusing on myself and letting things be.
     
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