Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by tigerbreaux, Oct 7, 2015.
Thank you for your post Omega Level! You gave a great response with some needed clarity.
To (again) answer your original question @tigerbreaux, just like you I would also be open to dating a trans man if the vibe was right and mutual...
Correction: As a gay man, you would date a trans man (only because of the notion of MASCULINITY and the exterior of it) who ONLY still has a vagina, but wouldn't date a masculine woman with a vagina.
Dante, Nick would date a Tree as long as that mofo Masculine.
A tyrannosaurus, Nick says, "Is he Masculine?" Ok we can date.
A Sharpie, Nick says, "Does it write Masculine"? Cool. we can date.
LMAO , just joking with you Nick. You know we love you bro....
Yeah, we still love him, but a spade is a spade! LOL!
It's not even that responses are reaching. It is that there's some juvenile smarty pants responses.
Disagreement is fine. But trying to belittle someone in the process is not.
FYI: @Dante, there are tons of other topics floating around here on The Boards...
No need to pound your opinions on others sexual preferences into the ground. The OP asked a question, I responded, you responded...we disagree and others disagreed with our disagreements. Move on.
So now you mad, just because you disagree with people disagreeing with you because of their opinion equating it to hate on trans men?
Yes! Let's move on.
I'm not mad, I'm a moderator...and the owner of the site...there's a certain decorum we maintain here that's typically not seen on other gay sites, you're new here so just letting you know early so there are now problems in the future. This applies to all members.
I thought we were supposed to have moved on.
@ControlledXaos is right. These responses are getting a little juvenile.
@Dante I don't know what the problem is. How does responding with my view elicit that kind of response? Someone stating their view doesn't violate your right to have your own. No need to get defensive and lash out.
@Omega Level There is a difference because a transman is not a woman. Saying that I would be open to dating a transman is not the same as saying I would date any transman. Obviously I would have to be attracted to them. If a transman had not taken testosterone and still looked physically female, I probably wouldn't be attracted to them. If they had taken testosterone and looked like a dude physically except for what was between their legs, I would consider it. I was initially attracted to them so there has to be something there. I'm not going to spend our entire relationship between their legs, so that doesn't matter as much as how I feel when a I look at them or how I feel when I'm with them. I don't find females physically sexual attractive from the go, so I wouldn't be with them.
Here we go!
Totally get it Acessential... Respect
The problem was that Nick and another person who responded before you did assumed that if someone said No to the question, they are somehow transphobic and hate transsexual men, which is not true. And being that u are gender blind and sexuality blind, you responded by saying I was narrow minded, which is insulting.
My response clearly stated that just because a gay man says no to dealing with a trans man ( a born female) that's their opinion, that's not hate. At the end of the day, trans men are still females. And as a gay man, I choose not to date them, especially if they have the female genitalia which would equate to being with a butch or tomboyish female. That's my opinion. That's not hate or being juvenile.
At was the point you, another responder, and Nick didn't get per your response and Nick's subliminal threat.
Nobody said you were transphobic or that you hated transmen. You not liking transmen wasn't even the issue. I'm indifferent to what you like. I was simply responding to how you didn't understand how someone could identify as gay and still date transmen. I explained how. I didn't call you narrow-minded. I said you had a narrow view of what gay meant. There's a difference. End of story.
I would ask you what gay is, but i dont want to know the response. Im not stupid.
You don't know me and the shoes walked in as a gay man to call me narrow minded on anything. Your word choice sucks and its sad you don't realize that.
I infer very well. #Don't
Good topic @tigerbreaux, looks like half the respondents would date a trans man, half wouldn't. This thread definitely highlights that gender, sexuality and interests from person to person are fluid.
I know I'm late to the party, but in no way is anyone questioning what someone else is or is not attracted to right? I can easily say "I'm not attracted to....." but in no way can I impose my attraction standards or take an accusatory or judgmental stance on what someone else is attracted to....RIGHT???? I mean there is no way I would do anything with "The Big Dick Bitch" (look it up) but I'm not gonna knock someone who is attracted to that or desires that.
Right. I know that everyone is clear on everyone's opinion. The conversation went left when it was presumed that when responding No to the question was being phobic and hateful, with some bad choice words attacking one's intelligence because of doing so.
It's a toucy subject and I will admit I was overly passionate in my responses with no apologies. However, I will tone my passion down in lieu of responses...lol. I grasp that is the best way to master dialogue and to deal with a conversation in general.
It's actually not a touchy subject to anyone but you, re-read the thread. I dare anyone to find and quote a comment that attacked someone for merely saying they would NOT date a Trans man...Compare that to comments attacking people who said that they WOULD date a Trans man.
Everyone was respectful of each others opinions until you chimed in. The thread "went left" because of one person. You apologized to us on Twitter for doing so. Apology accepted. Let's all move on. No need to keep responding on this thread, everyone gets your point of view by now.
I would actually try this at least once. There would be ALOT of hurdles I believe, but it's worth a shot.
This is a fascinating discussion. I would love to see some research on the relationship between sexual orientation and genitalia and gender identity.
If we were all blind... and I do mean born blind I wonder if much of this would matter. To a certain extent, ALL of us (yeah, including me) have been programmed with particular perceptions on how to see the world. Some have and are rivaling against those perceptions and others are reveling in it (no judgment)... ijs.
I would, I thought about a lot actually.
I probably could not wrap my mind around the idea of dating a transman but truthfully looking at the guy above, hes a pretty attractive person. I think that just like with anything else, there are no clear rules because everyone is different.