What's something you'd tell your younger self?

Discussion in 'LGBT News and Events' started by Fanon, Jul 8, 2021.

  1. Fanon

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    Inspired by the fact that it's been about a decade since I accepted the fact that I like boys (like...a LOT even though they've been the source of 99.9% of all my problems) and came out the closet, this thread is about a hypothetical situation where we impart some meaningful advice that would help that young, naïve little "queer" black boy of our past.

    Going first, here are some of the things I would say to me:

    1. Hang in there, kiddo! ~ I know right now you're an awkward black teen in a small, predominately white town who has feelings and attractions you're scared to tell someone about...let alone act on. It's difficult right now, but soon the door to that bird cage is going to open, you're going to fly far away from all that homophobia and racism, and get to experience some of the many things this big blue ball floating in space has to offer.

    2. Being Black AND gay is gonna feel like the best and worst thing to have happened to you. ~ Straight Black people's homophobia and non-Black LGBT people's racism is going to be unbearable at times! You're going to feel excluded and unwanted by "your own" a lot. But, know that you're the reason why white Gen-Zs will have dance routines for their cringey Tik-Toks and why the straight boys will feel comfortable wearing nail polish, dying their hair pink, and wearing cross earrings. You're a trendsetter, baby! ;)

    3. Hookup culture is overrated. ~ Don't be fooled. Hooking up with randoms ain't all rainbows and sunshine. So, don't let anyone make you feel bad for losing your virginity post-high school or having a low body count. And don't be a dick and judge those who choose to very sexually active.

    4. Be patient...you'll find "the One." ~ It'll take some time, but he's out there. Don't rush it because he's going to come when you least expect him. In the meantime, enjoy all the casual yet flirty conversations, all the little dates, all the hookups, and all the short-term relationships. Learn from them so you can be a better partner for "the One."

    ~ Fanon
     
  2. Tunda

    Tunda Lurker

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    Dear younger me,
    Stop holding back. Let loose. Kiss all the frogs. And if they run out, toads and salamanders are options too.
     
  3. Fanon

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    Mmmmm, I like this! Explore all your options.
     
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  4. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    I would tell myself to stop assuming every connection is a potential love connection, no matter how much the dudes claim to want a relationship. They may say they do, but they don't. I wasted a lot of time trying to "date" when I should have focused more on "just having fun." Given that I didn't get to date much for practice in my teenage years, I learned how to date from heterosexuals in TV and movies. This was the wrong strategy, lol.

    I would also tell myself that social media is not real life and I should probably just stay off of it.
     
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  5. Tunda

    Tunda Lurker

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    Amen to the last part.
     
    #5 Tunda, Jul 13, 2021
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 14, 2021
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  6. Fanon

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    Pffff, an early awareness of this would have saved me a lot of time and energy.
     
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