Best Posts in Thread: "Where Have All the Real Tops Gone?" and "What Is a 'Real' Top?": Roundtable Discussions

  1. acessential

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    Fuck all this heteronormative bullshit. "Bottom" and "top" are sexual positions. Not gender or personality roles. People need to stop equating them as such.
     
  2. SB3

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    'Tops' havent gone anywhere, we're just inundated n overwhelmed w dudes who wana be treated like ladies. Grab ur fukn nuts n man the fuck up! Shyt pisses me off.
     
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  3. Cyrus-Brooks

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    Lmfao! WTF is a "real top?" As opposed to a "fake top?" The one thing I've learned is one man's top is another man's bottom and vice versa. There are very few tops who won't bottom for the right dude under the right circumstances and very few bottoms who won't top when the need or urge arises. Unfortunately too many gay men are stuck in outmoded ways of thinking. Total bottoms need to step their game up.
     
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  4. SB3

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    So if i pursue a fem dude, im not fem?! Fuk outta here! I fux w masc men, i like men. W balls n hair. If u can wrestle w me, u start w 10 points
     
  5. alton

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    LMAO!! (Most) Fem dudes really kill me. LOL If a dude can get hard, stick his d@#k in you, ENJOY it thoroughly, and pop off (and make you pop off), then he's capable of being a Top. What the f#$k difference do it make that someone may have plowed him or ate him out at some point in time. Really, I can't take (majority of) "FemBot" mentality. Definitely a stupid a$$ "hetero-normative" mentality. smh Homeboy made a good point, "messy" bottoms that ain't gettin' plowed on a regular basis automatically blame their drought on an "excess" of bottoms LMAO!!!
    Side note, I don't know that the "bottom shaming" is as strong in the white community because I see a LOT of white gay male couples here in NYC and a lot of them seem to be made up of (IMO) both fem (leaning) guys.

    Side, side note - I LOVE that Jazz song playin at the end of the 1st video, but I can never remember the name of the (original) composer, I just know its a Jewish guy.
     
    #2 alton, Feb 5, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2016
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  6. Cyrus-Brooks

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    [​IMG]

    I'm just full of surprises. Lol.
     
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  7. Champagne Papi

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    This brings back memories....the first guy that I have ever dated was a "total top" (whatever the f*ck that means)....to a point that he wouldn't even let me grab his a**. Seriously, like NOT. AT. ALL. And the few times that I tried to f*ck with him and touched his butt, he would chase me and punch my d*ck or some sh*t.

    ....tops who just stick their d*ck in you are so f*cking boring.
    [​IMG]
     
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  8. ControlledXaos

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    Y'all going in!
     
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  9. alton

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    @Cyrus-Brooks be shuttin' muhf@#kz DO'N!!!
     
  10. OckyDub

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    When have I held my tongue?

    Because many black fem men have a mindset of wanting to be treated like black women.

    Its the same as a black woman who think its gay, suspect or nasty if their man has ever experimented with another man in the past or may like a finger in the butt or their salad tossed. Their heterosexuality is now in question. Many black fem men share a similar mindset.

    They don't want their Top man to ever have or think about getting penetrated. I shared some additional thoughts in this old post.

    Is There a Stigma with Being Sexually Versatile?
     
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  11. alton

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  12. ColumbusGuy

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    I agree.

    I really don't like the term 'hetero-normative', but that is what this top/bottom stuff is. I agree that human sexuality(and expressions of that sexuality) are so much more than f@cking.

    Role play, a lil bondage/S&M, toys, using food, massage, mutual masturbation, uniforms, frottage, voyeurism/exhibitionism, all kinds of fetishes, licking, sucking, the list just goes on and on. F@cking can be in there too, but to many it is the be all/end all thing and nothing else matters. We really have just been brainwashed in a way by growing up in a straight world.
     
  13. Michael

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    I really don't understand this. I do believe that their probably are more bottoms than tops. Having said that, number wise that would mean plenty of bottoms will "be alone" if they don't get over this. There are so many other things to do sexually. If this is how you're determining who you should be with it seems a little ass backwards.
     
  14. Tyroc

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    This seems to come from childish expectations, projecting what they want their dream partner to be.


    This is something I've noticed pretty much my whole life.
    I've had incidents of imagined homophobia on my and or friends and families part from white out loud and proud fem couples.
     
  15. Jaa

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    I was browsing black bear community-focused MaleMediaMind.com. They had a seemingly short-lived podcast and have an active Youtube channel (and an Instagram and Tumblr filled with Beef Cake of various shapes and sizes).

    Several of their videos are Google Hangouts and reminded me of video-assisted versions of the roundtable podcasts, and these two made me laugh. The sentiments of "there are too many bottoms" and a lack of "real" tops make me wonder about their origin. I've seen comments online stating that several, if not all, major US metropolitan areas are suffering from a drought of tops. It's something I don't encounter all the time so maybe these thoughts are only said by a small, vocal subset, but it begs the questions "Why are there so few tops, or what gives some this perception?" and "What exactly is a real top?"

    I'm guessing it's pretty simple. A) Fem guys are more visible and more often presumed as bottoms, and some vocal men consider a very narrow subset of people to be "real tops". B) These vocal men are really into traditional gender roles and want a man that fits their narrow masculine expectations.

    In the second video, one guy says he's heard bottoms say that, even if their prospect bottomed in an early sexual experience and now only tops, he would still see him as a bottom. I guess he wants a "total top" who would never allow anyone to touch his booty hole, the kind of thinking you hear from those who say Tank is suspect after revealing he likes a tongue down there. I wonder what instills this thinking.

    Anyway, their observations and reader reactions are kinda funny.



     
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