Worst Roommate I Ever Had

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by OckyDub, May 17, 2016.

  1. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    JERKED OFF IN MY BED, REPEATEDLY

    I used to live in an apartment in Boston with this other dude. One day, I headed for my bedroom after coming home, and as I reached for the knob, the door flew open by itself. Standing before me was my roommate, wearing only a skimpy pair of shorts and glistening with sweat.

    He immediately started word vomiting about how his laptop was broken, and he needed to check his email. "All right," I said, as he retreated to his room.

    Later that night, when I realized that Safari was open (which I would never use, because I'm not a noob) I checked my browser history. Right there in the history were a ton of videos from CreamPie.com or something like that. Being the Veronica Mars that I am, I found an app that turns your webcam into a security camera. The app detected motion and would start to snap photos from the webcam when someone was in front of the computer.

    The next night, I ended up crashing with a friend and didn't return home until late the next day. When I got home, I checked the folder on my computer where photos would appear if motion was detected and... BAM. There was a folder full of pictures of this dude jacking off. With my computer. On my bed.

    I didn't know what to do with this information right away, so I didn't say anything until a month later, when he picked a fight with me over something stupid. The fight snowballed into this crazy argument and finally, I just said, "AT LEAST I DIDN'T JERK OFF WITH YOUR COMPUTER ON YOUR BED!"

    He kind of froze and told me I was crazy for "making up" something like that, so I told him, "Uh, dude, I have pictures of you doing that." I've never seen someone go silent faster. — Stephen, 29

    People Told Us About the Worst Roommates They've Ever Had | VICE | United StatesPeople Told Us About the Worst Roommates They've Ever Had | VICE | United States
     
  2. ControlledXaos

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    The last college roommate I had used to set his radio to go off an hour before he actually had to be out of the bed. I'm a light sleeper. Every Tuesday and Thursday, I had to endure this. I didn't have to be up until an hour after he left!

    I and a Kenwood mini system with a three disc changer, auto reverse tape decks with a full remote that controlled everything. I was going through a mid 70s-early 80s music phase at the time. It's 1998 BTW. So I had a cd of popular funk tracks that's included "best of my love" and "got to be real". Now I liked these songs but it was some Gap Band and Lakeside tracks on the disc too among other things. At the time I started expanding my tastes to more dance tracks and by way of work, I had a LA bouche cd in the changer too which the lead track was "be my lover". I started noticing that when I would turn on my system, the last disc that I played wasn't the current disc in the changer. I didn't mind this so much. As long as nothing was broken.

    But you can tell when a mofos started to get comfortable because then, I started to notice my equalizer settings were changed. "oh hell nawl!" you don't mess with a man's EQ! That's a man rule!

    One day I was in the Union and one of my friends said "I went by your room and thought you were there but I guessed you didn't hear me knock because of the music."
    "What? I have been gone all day. I won't be back until my next class is over."
    "oh well it sounded like a party in your room."

    I get back and my EQ is messed up, the volume is way higher than I would have it set because I wasn't trying to get a noise violation but more importantly I knew what those speakers could do and could not and at the EQ settings they were on, the sound would have been too distorted for me.

    This mofo had some Jennifer Holiday I am telling you shit on my system. When that mofo came back in I cussed his ass out and told him to never touch my stereo again.

    And yes he was gay but that's beside the point.
     
  3. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    :sabu::mjlol:
     
  4. Winston Smith

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    What a missed, entrepreneurial opportunity. Let me fix that story:

    "How could you take PICTURES of me?!"
    "I...I don't know...but look...I started a Tumblr and there's like 4,000 hits and followers in just three days!"
    "Really?"
    "Yeah, man. I...I mean, I guess you have a talent for...that sort of thing. I don't know if you're game, but...I was kind of thinking...we could start a site or something...of you doing...well...YOU know. We could even have paid subscribers!"
    "...Go on..."
    And thus, our first web venture was started. We both paid off our student loans, and even grad school.

    My own worst roommate was a foreign student that came from a wealthy family. Went out of town and left some dirty clothes in my hamper...MY hamper, not his or anyone else. Basically, my funky drawers and socks. I get back to town and my hamper's empty. Hmmm, maybe he was altruistic and washed my shyt. Looked in my room, no drawers, no socks. I asked him what happened to my stuff, he replies (foreign accent), "Oh, they were only just dirty underclothes and sock I threw them away. You buy more." I learned my man didn't wash clothes, he just threw them away! I learned the rich really DO live differently. Now, years later, I have a decent job and when I get a little lazy at laundry time...well, socks ARE pretty cheap at Costco.
     
  5. acessential

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    I lived in a suite my freshman year of college. Four rooms, eight guys, and a shared living room and bathroom. Each room had two guys. They were stereotypical "bro" suitemates. Loud, abrasive, etc. First semester my roommate would bring girls over and have sex in our room. A few times was okay, but I found it annoying the more it happened. I would just sleep in the living room if I knew I was being sexiled. One night I was sleeping, he brought a girl over and started having sex with her when I was literally still in the room. I got annoyed, grabbed my blanket and pillow and went to the living room only to discover that my other suitemate was also having sex with a girl on the couch. Nowhere else to go. Tried to go down the hall to the lounge but it was used up. Luckily one of other suite mates was getting high somewhere and left his room unlocked so I went to sleep in his room. Fortunately, I sorta had my revenge later in the year. I started dating my boyfriend at the time and made sure to sexile my roommate just so he could see how it felt. Me and my dude even sorta messed around in the living room once or twice. Nothing too explicit, but definitely not G rated either. That definitely made my suitemates uncomfortable. They would lock themselves in their rooms or leave. Not trying to see no gay shit. Meh.
     
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  6. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    LOL why these straight dudes always trying to force they heterosexual agenda on us?
     
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  7. ColumbusGuy

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    I LOVE that you did that to them! hehehehe. '...lock themselves in their room..' lol probably afraid they might 'catch the ghey' or maybe might actually feel their own loins responding lol.
     
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  8. Winston Smith

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    Wow, that sounds like me and my second set of roommates. Except they both had Jheri curls and waterbeds in their rooms and my room was in the middle. Amazing I got any sleep Funny thing was their frat's undergraduate faculty advisor was gay but no one in their chapter ever openly discussed it (different era), and I was so naive without gaydar back then I didn't pick up on it. He was the first person I knew personally that died from AIDS.
     
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  9. takeyourmeds91

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    Shiiid, the worst thing that happened to me was my straight roommate used to love to be naked around the house and get caught; he's not a bad looking guy at all btw. My other roommate was DL and we knew about each other but our third roommate didn't know about us lmao. Made for a very interesting senior year of college to say the least...
     
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  10. Discordant

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    My first college roommate was a rich foreign kid from Honduras. Friendly, personable, addicted to cocaine. We lived in off-campus apartments and he would do lines of coke in our living room with his friends. He ended up brning out and dropping out. Second semester, I got a 28 year-old man child who was into body building and opera. Once I realized I had to be the adult and set the rules of the place, we got along swimmingly. Third roommate (the next year) was a racist and homophobic guy from Greece. Fortunately, Hurricane Katrina happened and I was able to switch schools, which lead me to my last 5 roommates all at once. They were rich frat guys who weren't used to cleaning up after themselves so the apartment always smelled, with my roommate being the worst offender. He was so rich he'd just buy new clothes instead of washing his others, but wouldn't even throw them out, instead just spraying Axe on everything to try to keep the smell under control.

    I started spending weekends at home to get away from them and when I would get back to my room, my side would be trashed and a couple of times I was greeted by one of their drunken frat brothers laying in my bed. The next semester my parents offered me a car instead of campus housing and I never looked back.
     
  11. alton

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    Most likely the latter. LMAO
     
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