I'm not quite sure if a question like this has been asked yet as I've been reclusive for a bit, but please read this carefully as the concept of what I'm asking may not be what you may be thinking at first. When you had sex for the first time...what about that particular person made you make that decision? Was it purely physical/sexual attraction to the person or did it involve other factors...some aspects of their personality that made them stand out perhaps, making them seem "special" or "the right one". I've been contemplating this lately and was wondering what you guys have to say on the matter. For me knowing the person is right should and is an intrinsic thing you should just feel when it's right if of course you believe in that sort of thing. I don't mean saving myself for marriage either just to be clear (although I don't disagree with it) Really looking for those that have experience with this but everyone's opinions are welcome and wanted. You don't have to share a whole lot of personal details of course if you don't want to just the traits is fine.
I was horny as hell TBD. And being I had to suppress my sex drive for various reasons before 19, there was no thought process at all.
Well I was 16 and horny and on drugs(not anything really bad just some pills) and drunk at a drive in with an older girl(friend of the family) and I did not drive(did not even have my license yet). If I am going to count that..I just wanted any experience. She was...well...a slut lol and when she grabbed my d*ck I was not going to just say no. That was it thought until I was with a guy. And I never have seen The China Syndrome which was the movie lol. With a guy, I was 22 and we met at a get together at someone's house and went on a few dates and one time ended up at his apartment and we had some drinks and things just happened-I was just up for the physical experience of someone else all on my d*ck to be crude and honest. Sex and love were two different things to me that can go together but do not have to. And now I have to go change my number in that 'how many years are you doing' thread since I forgot about the sex thing before age 18. Damn. And I was not particularly attracted to either of them. I was just ready, the timing was right. That makes it seem so cheap..but it kind of was cheap to be honest. *you just do what is right for you and you will be ok. Just do you and live your life and your sexuality on your terms whatever they are. Nobody knows you or what you want or need-like you do. Oh well I guess this is detailed oh well.
I was 15. He was my boyfriend, so we just went for it. lol. I'm sure teenage hormones had a lot to do with it.
Curiousity has always been my worst trait and When I was young I gave into trying anything I was curious of, so I've had so many first times that I've lost count but I'll stick to the (semi) clean stories of The real firsts that count. The first penetrative I had with another male was purely sexual curiosity on my side. I was 12/13 and a paperboy, he was a horny adult customer and after awhile I gave in and tried what he was offering. He wasn't particularly attractive and my first dive into the butt pool wasn't the greatest of memories. The first full on penetrative sex with a female, I had was at 15 with my girlfriend at the time and it was a case of young love/lust atavistic attraction. She was very special and definitely the right one.
I've mentioned this before on another thread similar to this. I don't remember which instance occurred first, but I was 20yo and horny. Both dudes were madd cute (one looked like Damon Wayans (I bottomed), the other was just a really cute Mexican (I topped). No, it wasn't a 3some, these instances occurred within a few months of each other), and I just wanted to finally see what it felt like to have sex. LOL Very simple. No expectations, no delusions, just wanted to f#%k. And honestly, neither experience was all that great. I didn't really feel much pleasure in either situation.
What about her was special? So was he your first boyfriend? If not what made you do it with him verses other guys? I don't mean to pry but that's the whole reasoning behind me question. I understand curiosity and horniness but out of all the guys (Or girls) you encountered why them?
I don't mind you asking me anything, anytime at all. I'm not sure I gave you the answers you were looking for though.
No that's the kind of things I wanted, reading what other people's thought processes were around that time. Trying to determine if given the opportunity I'd make the right choice..don't want to regret anything. Thank you
I don't think any of my early sexual experiences were with anyone "special". They were either spontaneous--youth sexual experimentation, or messing around with a curious friend, or hooking up with an acquaintance after learning he liked men--or driven by curiosity with hookups, some whom I had already met on other occasions. A degree of trust and friendly rapports are qualities common among most of these people, though I've also gone with the flow against my better judgment in a few situations. My experiences were driven more by curiosity then "special" feelings, though the curious friend and the acquaintance were people whom I had known for some time. They were the closest to feeling "right" because we had familiarity with one another. Even then, it was less that they were the "right ones" and more that I capitalized on chances to sexually explore when those opportunities presented themselves. But my base expectations would likely be trust and comfort with the person. I want to feel relatively safe and at ease in those situations.
I think I understand wanting some experiences to be special and good memory material but life is a collection of both good and bad memories. There might be some regrets on the way, which is natural but it's important to learn and grow from them. I personally like to look back on all experiences and find the humor in it.
To be honest, I wish I could tell you there was a "special" reason why I did it, but there isn't. He was literally just my first boyfriend and we did it. Granted, the experience was a little awkward and I sat on the bed at the end of it and didn't say anything because I was kinda confused and all that, but I feel like that would have happened regardless of who I did it with. I think people put too much stock into finding the "right" person to lose their virginity with. Obviously, one shouldn't have sex if they don't want to, but I think trying to find the "right" person is a futile process. You just have to be in the "right" mindset.
Essentially, it's when you know you want to have sex and don't feel like you're being forced into it.
The concept of someone being the "right one" is normally a gendered issue to me. Heterosexual men do not care who the woman is and what her personality traits are, they just want to have sex, and once that is accomplished, they will add that as their first point on their mental score chart. For heterosexual women, losing the V-Card is an extremely complex and sensitive time because of the value vagina has, and how the natural interactions between men and women work. Women want their first time to be perfect because men are not only penetrating their bodies, but their mind and soul. That's why most ancient philosophies and traditions were against women being promiscuous because they believed their bodies should be regarded as treasures that should be worked for, and not given to any typical loser. Transferring this to gay culture, being a top equates with the feeling of typical heterosexual men, but being a bottom opens yourself to the vulnerability of emotional satisfaction or pain since the position is feminine in nature (being penetrated). I would always suggest to any younger man that if he is ready for sex, then he needs to carefully analyze the person he is getting involved with if he is going to bottom. Once that man sticks his penis in you, there is no going back. Your V-Card is gone, and it better be worth it.
