How many of us are guilty of taking a quick glance at those ads drawn in by impressive bodies, bubble asses, and dicks? We are men and visual creatures. However, at what point does it go a step further to
making a “date” and ultimately paying for sex?
I am an attractive guy and been told a reasonable catch. I garner attention from both sexes and screen due to personal preferences. Being horny and bored during a trip home last year to New York City made me “adventurous” to even make or consider making an attempt to purchase sex.
On a popular site, let’s call it “hire-a-man.com”, I saw him. A faceless pic with a great body, nice abs, a phat ass and an 11″ penis.
I am a top but seeing another well-endowed guy is a turn on especially if it’s flopping against my stomach while I am inside and he is riding me. His rate was $275. During a weak and convoluted state I made contact.
I blame the wood which caused an arterial flow problem from my head to my second head. I never thought I would be a “john”. The exchange was direct. He asked for my number to text and sent me a full pic including a clear face shot.
My next thought was WTF did I do? Is this really going to happen? I think people who pay for sex with escorts are either disconnected or desperate. I am not either so already I am feeling regretful in making
plans. However, he’s on the way and I was expecting him in 45 minutes. I took a hot shower to relax me and decided to change things. I am still in control and everything in life is a teachable moment thanks to Oprah. So, I decided I would not engage sexually but would just have convo.
Knock, knock, knock at the door. I look at the clock and he’s right on time. The man is serious about his time, for time literally is his money. I let him inside my hotel room as we exchanged pleasantries.
I handed him a towel and made my way back to the bed. I told him I had a confession. He immediately became super nervous, eyes rapidly scanned about the room, and he asked if I was a cop.
I told him I am not a cop but wasn’t comfortable in having things get physical. I offered him $100.00 for 30 minutes of his time. He obliged. The impromptu interview began.
A: Not too long. Just a few months. I am looking for work and have a kid to take care of.
Q: How has your experiences been while doing this type of work?
A: I disconnect. Guys usually want me to fuck them or suck me off until they cum.
Q: So, you don’t enjoy it?
A: No.
Q: So, most aren’t too discriminating for it is about making money. What do you do if it’s a senior citizen or an amputee or an obese man or a transgendered person who is seeking your services? My dick don’t get brick if it’s someone that I am not sexually attracted to.
A: You do it like you do anything other job you don’t like. It has to be done for you to be paid. I’m not gay. I’m gay for pay.
Q: So, your “clients” are left satisfied and what about you after?
A: I manage and take care of my business.
I thanked him, apologized for it being “weird” and paid him. He thanked me and swiftly left.
Listen to your instincts and maybe take that extra second so things can be placed into more clarity. Lastly, this isn’t to legitimize a need for prostitution. Selling sex is the oldest profession and as long as there is a customer willing to pay business is open 24 hours with a flashing neon sign.
His rich family roots are a Tri-Latin American Mix of Dominican, Puerto Rican & Brazilian.
Always looking forward, Juan continues to be an ardent life learner.
Hmmm… interesting. So how did you get off that night?
Wow interesting article. I often wonder why some people get into escorting. But like you mentioned its about survival.
I am learning so much about the world through sites/blogs like Discreet City. This story is MAD crazy yo (gettin’ my NYC accent on a lil bit lol)! That must have really been an experience. I’m glad the guy didn’t simply turn on you because you paid him less or because you didn’t want to have sex anymore.
I definitely agree that men do have their weaknesses and vices. The most important thing I believe is to acknowledge those weaknesses. Then the process of moving forward begins.
This was an amazing story. Its always good to hear to stories from other points of view. I’ve always seen the ads online and wanted to see what its about but I’ve never been cool with paying for sex. Like, what if you find a guy online and he charges you 300 long and he’s wack? Do you get a discount? How do you dispute?….Surely you can’t call the police. I know that if I did go that route this would be my luck.
I have hired an escort and I see him at least once a month. He is a great guy. We have fantastic conversations and he has helped me come out of my shell. I am a thicker guy that has a little sugar in his tank..so it is a little harder for me me to attact men. As the article states..use your best judgement. Not everyone out there is good. Listen to that inner voice it will always guide you.
Idea.
Why not skip a month with the escort and spend your money on a therapist? Someone who is trained and educated to help you with inner self challenges vs. having to pay someone to like you?
I know you feel the escort has helped, but has the thought ever crossed your mind that the escort is “just doing his job”?
Tell said escort that you will not be able to pay him for his services for the month because you are going to see a therapist. If said escort sticks around and performs all his normal duties then you will know he may consider you more than just work.
You make a good point. But on some level we are all paying someone for something. At the end of the day…one has to live their life for them….as long as you’re being honest with youself…then do you….. On another note..I really enjoy this site. Keep up the good work….
Well I appreciated this just for the simple fact that I am not the only person that can admit to having hired an “escort.” Mine was more of an unintentional event of the sex happening. I went to Miami for Sizzle last year and I was bored, wasn’t getting much bite on the phone apps or BGC or in person, so I went on a4a and found an exotic masseuse. Little did I know that the exotic part meant sex after the massage. I was on my stomach and he was doing his thing massaging me very well and next thing I know he was putting his dick inside. I said STOP because that is not what I signed up for at all. Looking back on that experience, I know in the future to ask questions about what there service includes to the point of full clarity.
This is my first post here so lol be nice lol. I use escorts I’m 21 with no game (I’m a nerd I’m muscular but very short lol) and I’m conflicted about this whole attracted to men thing. I don’t use them for sex per say I like to watch them
Do you feel like you are going crazy because there is not any sexual contact or because you dont have or cant find “non-escort” company or satisfaction?
We appreciate your feedback.
I feel it’s a bit of both. I guess you could say I’m a very sexually frustrated, I deny myself any contact because of religion…and I feel as though I would suck at sex, but at the same time I want it(hope this makes sense). When it comes to company/date I feel that it’s not attainable for a few reasons.
1) I like older men like late 30s to late 40s. I feel like those guys wouldn’t like me or they would think I’m after money. I tried to get with an older man and I failed miserably.
2) I feel as thought I don’t have the “look” that most men are after.
3) I’m not out of the closet at all no one in my life knows I’m attracted to men, and if my fan where to find out… All hell will break loose.
So yeah lol I hope this makes lol. Hope u reply back.
Wait, John you’re a short muscular nerd? I’m in love already…lol. Seriously though, you’re young so I think as you get older you will find that you’ll open up more sexually with men on a intimate level. But then again, it also depends on what city/state you’re in…there may not be a decent gay community of attractive non-escort men to choose from in your area.
I live in Omaha so there’s not much here in regards to men.
I like Omaha. I’ve been there. Lots of good looking men there. Surprisingly it has a sizable Black community. Never would have known that until I visited. Malcolm X was born there. Actually it kind of reminds me of home, but smaller.
As long as he’s honest to himself about what and why he’s doing it, hiring an escort shouldn’t be and issue. I think it’s the clients responsibility to understand that you are paying for an experience, sexual or otherwise, I think a true professional escort, i.e the one described in the article above, knows how to separate his emotions between his job and his personal life. Like Jeffrey I’ve had sessions with a few massage therapist where things have gotten sexual, in those situations things were discussed before hand and for some it was part on the massage, and there are some that encourage mutual touching, the best I ever had was a deep tissue & reiki massage with and erotic touch. I don’t go into the situation looking to become friends or to have feelings for them, it’s a transaction, they’re providing a service that I’m paying for nothing more nothing less, that might sound a little cold but I’m being honest about what its all about. I don’t see the big deal about hiring an escort, for a particular sexual fantasy I have an escort most likely will be the one to help me fulfill it. Don’t judge cause you don’t know why he’s doing it and really you don’t need to know why, pay him for his services rendered and each party goes on their own merry way.
Hmm…seems like this is a topic that can be expounded upon.
I have paid for male “escorts” twice I think, many many years ago. I didnt think it was a big deal. I just think I am too cheap to have wanted to continue to pay someone on any type of regular basis for sexual contact.
I’m thinking though…some have said the reasons for getting an escort has been because they are not able to get companionship due to possible perceived short comings, i.e.; they are a nerd, fat, fem (as if these things are negative afflictions).
In reading some of the comments above, what’s wrong with being a nerd, geek, a lil fat or fem? As adult gay men, how are these traits considered negative things or a hindrance? And should we be sexually pursuing men who think they are?
Are these perceived short comings personal hindrances to the individual and not to the world around them?
Ocky let’s expound on what your saying here because I agree with you, playing devils advocate, let’s say the ones paying for escorts are fem – old – a nerd – fat ect ect, are gym bunnies who are in relationships and cheat on their spouses, single guys with body to die for who go to fuck parties, couples in open relationships, single guys who fuck on the first date and don’t call, what makes them any better than those who hire escorts…….just a thought
They are not “better”. I only brought up “nerd, geek, a lil fat or fem” because that is what some commenters stated about themselves.
I do feel for some it is easier to find and have sex more so than others without paying for it.
Also I can completely understand the needs/services for someone hiring an escort. Why be bothered with any drama when you can simply pay for their time and they be on their way.
Y’all are off the chain over in this thread. I find nothing wrong with using escort services. I have thought about it, but I didn’t have the nerve to go through with it. I’ve had conversations with escorts. I would never promote it. To each his own. As has been stated.. It’s the oldest profession in the world. It’s a human reality. You have what I need and I got what you want. “Fair exchange ain’t no robbery.” My own mama made sure I knew the rules of the game. When you are lonely and you want company things happen. You will do what it takes to make your life “whole.” If I had hired an escort I wouldn’t have a problem saying it. Ain’t no shame here. I am just very extra careful about how I interact with others. Yeah, I want to be in a committed situation but that hasn’t happened as of the moment. “Gay for pay” is the new …. whatever… It’s real. It’s the time we living in. Thank you all for sharing. Discreet City is the realest of the real.
I actually prefer the services of male prostitutes to escorts. Escorts get your hopes up high. Prostitutes are wham, bam, thank you mam. I had to rethink the discussion and come to realization that I have used the services of a prostitute/whore. I want to know does anybody know or have an opinion on the difference between a prostitute, whore, escort, call boy. I believe prostitutes are quick and to the point. A NSA type of service. We have a male prostitution area here – every big city does.
I think everyone has thought about it, but actually doing it is another thing. I’m in shape and I think I’m a good looking guy, but I still thought about it b4.
There was this guy on a4a and he had a interesting look. I couldn’t tell what race he was, but his body was bangin, ass was bangin and something about his eyes pulled me in.
If I had money to just throw away I might have, but I’d rather buy 4 xbox games, or buy me some new kicks, fresh pair of sneakers u know. It’s a bunch of other $hit I’d rather spend my money on. Plus I’m not big on random sex. I like to have a connection with the person first. Hang out first, then the sex is mad bangin.
You guys are off the chain. I am enjoying this discussion….
@ John John – As it was stated before there are older men that like younger guys, you just have to be in the right area. Maybe getting a mentor would be a good thing. I am here if you ever want to chat….
Discreet city if John John wants my email address please give it to him.
I wander if you would be saying this if you weren’t “tied-up” in knots? In other words you are all wrapped up in a “relationship” so you really can’t be “thinking about seeing an escort” for services. LOL So your comments don’t count.
@eddie hey what’s up 🙂 that would b really cool if we could tlk via email. if u got time. Just wanna say thnx to all, outside of u guys I don’t have anybody to talk about stuff like this…so again thnx guys 🙂
WoW
This is a very hot topic indeed. And I truly appreciate reading the honest responses to the author’s story.
As for me, I don’t see anything wrong with using the services of an escort. All of us have probably masturbated to a steamy porn scene with guys who are PAID to have sex, so why is there so much stigma attached to paying a stripper or escort for a nut?
My question to those who use escorts is as follows:
How do you “verify” the person in the ad is who he says he is? I’ve seen FAKE photos taken from tumblr pages and elsewhere show up on a4a escort’s section and rentboy. I know for a fact that 50 percent of the Black Guys on those ads use stolen or dated pics. And with today’s technology of Google’s Image Search, I can’t believe these guys are getting away with it.
You do have to be careful. There are some shady people out there. I meet my escort in a public place. That way we both felt safe. I also believe in listening to that inner voice. If It does not feel right or sound right do not do it…
The main thing blocking me from even considering an escort is my paranoia of sexually transmitted infections. Its an unfair paranoia since ANY guy you have sexual contact with could be walking venus fly traps, but still…it’s something different when you know a guy has sex for a living.
@Nick D Yeah man I think I am a borderline hypochondriac/germophobe so I def can relate to this comment…. LOL @ walking venus fly traps lol I will be using that one lol!!!
Like most have said, there is nothing wrong with paying for sex. It is not the act of paying for sex, it is the reasons why it’s being done that should get the attention. Paying for it can be hot, and you get around all kinds of bull and rejection. Having said that, it is important to think about what you want your life to be like. Once you know that, you can take steps to get closer to it. For me, I go through times where I want that simple direct hot sex that money can buy. For me, I think I would have an issue if I thought that paying was my only option, but I do know a few dudes who lost their virginity with a paid service. @John John, I hope you are able to find ways to get closer to the many other things that I am sure you would like out of a relationship. Like a few others, I am open to anything you may need. I am just about to become a life coach in the personal and sexual well being areas. Just putting that out as an offering.
**snickering @ the dudes trying to holla at John John**
😉
Breh, I wasn’t even gonna say nothing but damn you noticed it too. LOL. Of course today Ocky and I talked about the blatant thirst displayed in this thread, lol. God Bless older single gay black men…sigh…
Hiring a guy to fulfill a fantasy could be the best experience of your life