I’m convinced that 80% of Cypher Avenue readers are Sensitive, Timid, Submissive Bottoms.
Okay, that may be exaggerating. It’s more like 78%. But that’s not a bad thing, it’s just a reality. I mean, hey, who cares. I love Bottoms. The world needs Bottoms and romantically sensitive submissive men looking for storybook gay relationship love. Happy Kwanzaa! Mazel tov!
Having said that, many of our readers are very interested in what goes on in the mind of Tops and/or Versatile men who lean on the more Dominate side of the gay spectrum.
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What do they look for when dating?
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What kind of men do they go after?
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How do they find guys to date?
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Are Tops or Dominate men turned off by Aggressive Bottoms?
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What are their interests outside of ‘being gay?’
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Do they feel comfortable in Mainstream Gay Culture?
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Have they ever tried Bottoming?
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What makes submissive men more attractive to them?
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Or do they prefer Topping other Dominate men?
Blah, Blah, Blah…
A never-before-heard frank and honest conversation with confident men who like to take control.
A conversation with the fellas:
This is not about Masculinity. This is not about being Hard. This is not about Bottom Shaming. This is about finally hearing the POV of men who confidently go after men that they want and have no reservations when it comes to taking the lead.
So if you’re an outspoken Top or Dominate Versatile gay man who’s not shy or afraid to voice your opinions, send an email with a brief reason why you should be included to Contact@CypherAvenue.com with ROUNDTABLE in the subject line.
If we get a good amount of submissions. we’ll set this thing up for sometime in early 2015.
You don’t have to be a member of the site to get selected, but we definitely will be giving priority to those of you who are. If you’ve set up a profile on Cypher Avenue, include your user name (or the name used on your article comments) in the email so that we know who you are on the site.
Here are the previous Roundtable podcasts:
MP3 VERSION:
DOWNLOAD LINK:
MP3 VERSION:
DOWNLOAD LINK:
The reactions to this are really going to be something.
I volunteer!
sidenote: I think dominate tops is a bit..off because there are plenty of dominant bottoms. Just saying.
*awaits invite to be on panel*
Agreed. Many dominate Bottoms out there. We’ve even had someone admit to being one on the first roundtable podcast. But most Bottoms I’ve met have been submissive. And we’ve rarely heard opinions from an outspoken Top or assertive Versatile guy’s POV. At least I’ve never seen one.
Lmao Just from the first line alone. I feel like this could be VERY interesting, but I do think that having one or two bottoms (sub and dom) would create more of a conversation as opposed to it being one sided with just dominant tops and vers dudes. I actually agree with @Hannibal about there also being dominant bottoms (In my experience tops can be very needy and catch feelings). Lord knows if you guys do decide to open it up to more people he needs to be in there with his Waiting to Exhale self lol. I really can’t wait to hear this one.
I was being very sarcastic when I volunteered as I meet absolutely none of the criteria.
Lol well I do think a dominant and submissive bottom would be a good addition to the mix.
I volunteer @thatguy as tribute!
If only I hadn’t been on the last one.This would be a fun convo.
I volunteer. ATL is the land of the bottoms, so I definitely have some views on the subject. I can’t equate masculine to just being tops, cause God knows I run into some dues who I was like you’re a top by look and yet the best bottom by trade eva!!! So yeah…lol
Lol land of the bottoms indeed. That’s usually what I attract. You guys better bring it in this podcast. We want answers!!! lol
We will @madb86 we will… (If I’m chosen of course…)
Couldn’t have expressed it better Nick… It’s about to go down.
1.77245385091
TO get to the other side
Because if they got off the island there’d be no show
The chicken was first
There’s your answers,hope you’re satisfied.
Not even close.
This should be interesting….can’t wait to hear this
Shit. lol
Yeah this will definitely bring some random Cypher Avenue followers out of the shadows. LOL
Oh THIS is gonna be special… I’m stoked lol
Always looking forward to roundtable podcasts!!!
so yea..u got my pager #..
It’s gonna be some major butthurt after this drops from the comments.
I predict half butthurt, half thirst.
Oh I’m sure that the message boxes are gonna be filled up. Lolololol
“He sounds hot.He probably got 8 or 9 inches on him.Let me hit him up.”
ok,im being imessy.I’ll stop.
But you know that’s what someone is going to say tho.
The perspectives of tops that prefer dominant bottoms/versatile types may be enlightening.
If those tops micromanage and dominate all other aspects of their professional/familial/social life; I reckon it makes sense for some tops to be attracted to dominant/bossy/mouthy bottoms. In that instance, that bossy/mouthy/dominant bottom likely provides that top an outlet to relinquish dominance/control he is expected (self-imposed or otherwise) to maintain in all other facets of his life.
In the age of reality tv and its watchers (many bottoms included) emulating the contrived/outlandish antics of its anatomically female cast members; dominant/bossy/mouthy bottoms are often repelling for some of us and not worth the conquest (dating and/or hookup).
I dunno but this kinda reads like you are equating being a bottom with femininity? “Mouthy” is not a word I think of when I think ‘masculine’ but it could just be me.
For whatever reason most people seem to equate being a bottom with being feminine and submissive…I mean even the title of the Podcast more or less does that.
I think the reasoning comes from the idea that Botomming is inherently a submissive act. I’ve never been with a bottom who just wanted me to lay there or not dominate in some form. Even the dominate bottoms I’ve spoken with (through Cypher Avenue, none in person) say they like a dude they can equally tumble with, not overpower.
The terms ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ were not stated in my reply. My reply focuses more on the correlation between dominance and submissiveness; this correlation transcends gender as many (if not most/all) dating/hookup scenarios are influenced by those factors.
It seems like it was implied, which may not have been intentional, with the emulation of reality TV antics part. I get what you are saying overall.
It was most certainly implied
The reality TV example is in reference to the superficial and self-absorbed personas that many (again, including bottoms) tend to emulate; those that exhibit these characteristics tend to either dominate or seek domination of those around them. Much like the working title of the podcast, all of these terms/concepts are interpretational so it is understandable how one can myopically conclude that my commentary equates bottoms with femininity. The sender can’t control how the receiver processes/internalizes the message. Eh…to each his own. I’m enjoying the discourse nonetheless. Go first amendment! 🙂
_I_ just don’t know any masculine bottom men who aspire to be similar to a reality TV female bad girl housewife of LA hip hop. That doesn’t mean there are not any. That tends to be, in my admittedly limited exposure, something fem bottoms get into. I could be wrong for correlating that generalization but if watching any of the YouTube reality gay shows has taught me anything it’s that being “fabulous” is a desired goal/image of softer or fem men, regardless of what position they play or present that they play publicly.
[Kanye Shrug]
Frame of reference varies from person to person – especially in a sense of depth/exposure. There are viewers of Reality TV whose mannerisms do not fit what many subscribe to be the stereotypical viewer; some of these viewers (non-stereotypical) are sexually inclined to bottom yet have consciously/unconsciously adopted domineering traits that place them directly in conflict (socially) with tops.
The title of this post:
CALLING ALL TOPS & DOMINATE MEN: WE NEED YOU FOR A ROUNDTABLE PODCAST!
This highlighted questions/topics of the post:
What do they look for when dating?
What kind of men do they go after?
How do they find guys to date?
Are Tops or Dominate men turned off by Aggressive Bottoms?
What are their interests outside of ‘being gay?’
Do they feel comfortable in Mainstream Gay Culture?
Have they ever tried Bottoming?
What makes submissive men more attractive to them?
Or do they prefer Topping other Dominate men?
The above does not reference masculinity nor femininity.
Moreover, the post states the following:
This is not about Masculinity. This is not about being Hard.
This post appears to focus on dominant and submissive factors influencing M4M interactions; masculinity and femininity were purposely extracted from the discussion.
im·plied
/imˈplīd/
adjective
adjective: implied
suggested but not directly expressed; implicit.
“she was aware of his implied criticism”
Selective Perception
Selective perception is a perceptual process in which a person only perceives what he desires to and sets aside or ignores other perceptions or viewpoints.
:Waits for podcast to drop:…lol
At the end of day it all comes to masculine and femenine because otherwise what does it matter if someone prefers to be top or bottom if it is not for all the connotations (or stereotypes) that comes with identifying as one or another?. This is tasty already, I’ll be waiting for the podcast!
I think it’s more so abt the dynamics of interactions with other men .We just kind of attach masc to dominate and fem to submissive,but really you can be masculine and a bottom.Imo it’s about who’s proactive and who’s reactive.
I see what you mean.The guests haven’t even be selected and we’re already having good convos about this.This is going to blow up majorly.
Totally agree with you. I’m gonna say this: I haven’t had sex yet[(for whatever reason, lol) so until I’m there I think I can really have an opinion about this. I have a few femenine lesbian friends and some say “I like to feel protected” and others say “I like to be the protector, the one in charge” but they are femenine too. So I guess this is what this podcast is going to be about?, but of course about men. I don’t know, haha!. It’s going to be interesting!
That’s not too different with men,from my experiences.Like personally,I like to be in control and know you are pleased,but other guys like to lay back and have their needs taken care of.Same things as what your friends said.It really doesn’t translate to masc and fem,it’s just personal preference and things like that.
Well yes. But we can’t deny that most fem guys likes to be submissive, most not all. I’m masculine and my preference is for masculine men so it can be confusing. I don’t like feeling dominated (I got mad at a guy who paid for my ticket to the movies, lol!) but at the same time I don’t thik I have the personality that takes full control. It can be 50/50 too, right? Fucking relationships, haha! And yes in the end it’s just about what you’re into,
As a masculine man who likes to date masculine men, you have to also know that sometimes you have to let the other cock run the roost so to speak. It takes some finessing and communication. However, it’s not a cut to your masculinity if another man pays for the dinner unless you make it so. I usually trade things off. If you get the dinner, I got the entertainment. Technically, we are still ‘dutch’ so to speak.
At times, I want to do the whole thing…paying for the entirety of whatever it is we have planned and I know that I have to let the other guy do the same on ‘his turn.’ I just make sure I have my space and he his and this has always worked out okay for me.
I’m very independent and I look for independence in others. So, the other man should know that “Yes, I can take care of this without you.” and I need to know that he can take care of it without me.
Yes like “You got the tickets and I got the popcorn”. I’m very quiet and a little shy so maybe that’s why other guys tend to feel they need to be the leading ones and I kind of feel weird about it.
And it’s my issue because I feel like they’re thinking “Oh I’m the man in the relationship” I know it’s only me and I know I need to work on that.
Maybe that’s why this post made me feel a little uncomfortable because I’m masculine but I’m not really agressive and for some people that may be not masculine enough. Like if that fact diminishes me as man.
But maybe it’s just me haha! and I get it now, this call is for those who feel that way like they are really agressive.
And yes It takes a lot of communication and understanding.
Yeah, I consider myself a non aggressive masculine man. I’m not going to be trying to get my hands down your pants on the first date lol if that’s what people are meaning nor am I going to spend time really chasing after someone especially if I’ve given some hints, even if I think you are attractive, BUT if you make the mistake of letting me know that you are interested in me and I am you…Greenlight! Well, that’s basically turns my aggressive switch on.
LOL! Same here. (Now) I’m rarely the one to make the first move unless I’m AB-SO-LUTE-LY sure of whats going on. Dudes can be made funny/flaky and I don’t like being embarrassed by anyone. Unfortunately I’ve probably f#$ked up a lot of opportunities being like that, too. But yeah, once I know what you want and how you want it, the aggressiveness it pop out quick and easy. LOL F#$ked up part is that’s really who I am at my core, I just worry to much about what the person gonna think of me if I come off like like that from jump. I’m very much “push a dude up against the wall (hard), grab his ass and/or d@$k, and tell him ‘SHUT the FUCK up, nikka” type dude. Is it wrong that that reeks of “rapist” undertones?
I totally feel you on this.
My mind goes to “Oh you dun messed up naw!” And I’ll admit that I’m not trying to deal with rejection because I will internalize it to near death.
It seems like, the ones I tried to be ‘gentlemanly’ with were not feeling that. And the ones that I was all aggressive with were all ‘Let’s go!’. The ones I was a gentlemanly with I was trying to really get to know but they didn’t pay me any mind. The other ones was just about good times. I dunno what folks be wanting.
So now I’m just me and wait for the signals I’m looking for to proceed. There’s def some potential conflict if we are both trying to be Good Guys.
lets hear from the tops and see whos who. i expect enough eye rolls from the bottoms
This should be interesting to hear the round-table and read the comments.
Am I the only one wondering where the pic of the 4 dudes at the top came into play? Are they supposed to be the dominant tops? lol
LMAO…believe me when I tell you that most of the time it’s hard and frustrating as fuck to find pics for these damn posts.
Lol I was wondering if I was the only one that took a hard look at that picture.
Haha you are not the only one! I had to turn my head sideways hahaha
The one in the red cap makes me think of how @nick would look like the night he would plan to hit up the club! lol!
I feel like the one with the stud in his right ear can see me.
2nd from the right just look like he’s sayin’….”H-H-H-H-Huh’ you duhhh’n? {Wendy Voice}” smh
Wait….over 50+ comments for an announcement post?! I can only imagine how many comments the actual podcast post will have!
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I know! I can’t wait to hear it! Hope people have been volunteering and I hope the podcast drops not too long after the start of next year!
3 people have volunteered here in the comments so far.
First the post is going to break gay social media,then everyone is going to ask when is the bottoms’ roundtable.
I’m patiently awaiting. I have my visine ready in case my eyes start to roll out.
This sounds like a really interesting topic! I’m definitely a confident top, though I tend to be more on the passive side in long term relationships, so ‘m not sure I’m very dominant. At the same time though, I’m not submissive (and in fact dominant dudes are a huge turn off for me). I look forward to listening in!