tm-exbanner

First of all, before we dig into the meat of this topic, let’s get some basic questions out of the way:

“Nick, who da fuk is Tre Melvin?”

I know, right? I only had vaguely heard about him until a video of him “coming Out” surfaced on my Facebook news feed. I’d previously seen some of his videos but didn’t care for them at all. Maybe its because I’m not 16-21 years old.

Apparently the young 21-year-old man has quite the following. He’s racked up nearly 2 million YouTube subscribers (you read that right) making him kinda Internet Famous. Props to him. You can make money off of YouTube and judging by the numbers he’s doing on all original content, he’s likely getting a decent monthly check from Google.

“Why you hating on his success then, you jeally nicca?”

LOL. No, I’m not jealous of this brother getting money legally. More power to him. Matter of fact, by even talking about this dude and posting his video on my own popular forum, I’m helping him to make more money.

Okay, here’s the video in question. On New Years, Tre Melvin “revealed” to his fans that he was Bisexual in this overly dramatic video that has since received hundreds of thousands of views.

Now…first off…At 21 years old, I wasn’t about to post a video of me “coming Out” on the Internet. No, sir. So the dude definitely gets props for that. It seemed like through all of the fake bravado he injected into the monologue over the dramatic music, it was actually a big deal for him to publicly admit and do.

Secondly, the tide is turning for Gay and Bisexual men in regards to how the general public views us. So being a young man who’s not only easy on the eyes but also has perceptible masculinity to him will be a plus in his eventual pursuit of penis over the next 20-30 years. I kinda envy him for all of the cock that will be thrown his way now that he’s an Out Gaylebrity.

However….

Who da fuk out there didn’t know this shit to the point he had to “come Out?”

I mean, seriously?

Okay, lemme state my case, Your honor.

The man wears colored contacts! Colored Contacts, Your Honor!

In 2014, he actually places each green/hazel contact on each finger every morning and pops them bitches into his eyes!

tm-exCC

Okay. I don’t actually have any proof that he’s wearing colored contacts. His eyes could really just naturally look like he’s one of the kids in Village of the Damned.

Don’t get me wrong. He’s not an ugly dude. Far from it. Ummm….He does look a little underage…like young-young….like you could do prison time for even just fantasizing about touching his naughty parts in your mind, young….but he’s not unattractive.

The eyes though…they come off kinda “Gay.”

No, they come off VERY “Gay.”

If I were him and that was really my eye color, I would wear Colored Contacts to make me eyes look “normal.” Like, call my eye doctor up and say:

“Do you have these Acuvue soft lenses in Brown? Gimme the darkest Brown you got, Doc.”

Okay, Your Honor. You say eye color is no indication that people already knew this man was “Gay?”

Can we turn down the lights, I have a slideshow that I would like to present at the court’s permission.

tm-exa

tm-exb

tm-exc

tm-exd

tm-exe

tm-exf

tm-exg

And these are just the ones I could grab in a 5 minute YouTube search, Your Honor.

He’s a DRAG QUEEN!

A DRAG-FUCKING-QUEEN!

No seriously.

The Oxford Dictionary defines a Drag Queen as: “a man who dresses up in women’s clothes, typically for the purposes of entertainment.”

Now I ask you again, who da fuk out there didn’t know this man was into copious amounts of penis to the point he had to “come Out?”

Its so obvious that even Tre Melvin’s characters would have responded to him like:

 Okay. Okay. Lemme calm down. Nothing to get excited about.

Just because a man dresses up as a woman on a consistent basis, that doesn’t make him Gay. I mean, look at Tyler Perry. No gay suspicions and rumors there.

You know, the reason why I’m bringing all this up is not to downplay this young man’s “bravery”…well, hold up…maybe it is a little bit.

How is this considered “Brave?”

This man owns and wears more wigs than my mother, yet its bravery for him to come Out as Bisexual?

While we’re on the subject of Bisexuality, I am not one of those people who thinks that Bisexuality doesn’t exist. Those nuts are in the same camp as the people who believe that George W. Bush orchestrated 9-11. However, in the case of Tre Melvin…methinks the Lady doth protest too much.

Look…I’m an older gay man living in Atlanta. I’ve seen many-a-Tre-Melvins start off with strong, masculine voices and mannerisms…they get a few effeminate gay friends…hit a few gay clubs where they see even more flamboyancy displayed and celebrated…next thing you know they’re booty-popping to Beyonce and Rihanna songs with their shirt off.

That’s not to say that “fem is bad”…I’m just saying, I already know how this movie is gonna end. Tre Melvin is gonna end up *snap* FABULOUS in a few years.

So in this case, that whole “I’m Bisexual” thing will hold about as much weight as Jennifer Hudson Post-Dreamgirls. See, its spreading! I just made a fucking gay-ass Dreamgirls reference!

Seriously though. Am I COMPLETELY wrong to say Tre Melvin could have just lived his life freely without the big declaration? I mean, as cold as this sounds, do effeminate men really “need” to come Out of the closet if its pretty clear that everyone already assumes that they’re likely gay anyway?

[That tapping sound you now hear is the mouse-clicks from Gay men angrily leaving the site to declare their disdain for patriarchy on Twitter]

Real talk though, wouldn’t it actually be “Brave” for a gay man who, by all accounts, displayed absolutely NO hints that he was gay or bisexual? Like a man’s Man…Not a Drag Queen with pretty light eyes, exquisite eye-lashes and nice full d**k sucking lips… 

DB429F1F0C974632500242817024_pic-r-1375344705150d5ba3e9731.jpg_4FsIBDZgtSNKOi9XN_NSLDk.psdvygn5hkzuwZ5DP.4fPpFIZkbT8AJ3LdTb9kE2

Anyway, I’ll end my closing argument much the same way Matthew McConaughey did in A Time To Kill:

I want you to picture a frail, twinkish man wearing colored contacts who often dresses up in drag and acts like various types of women in videos for the world to see……

I want you to picture this little man coming Out of the closet……  

*Dramatic Pause*

 Can you see him……?   

*Another Even More Dramatic Pause*

………..Now imagine that he’s Masculine.

*Drops Mic*

The defense rests.