For a couple of weeks now, I have been reading articles via the internet that mentioned the leak of internal strategy memos from the conservative group National Organization for Marriage (NOM) and their opposition to gay marriage initiatives across the US.
In a nutshell, a strategic goal of the NOM group was to drive a wedge between two key democratic constituencies, gays and blacks (as if the wedge already there was not big enough) in hopes of gaining additional opposition against support of gay marriage and pushing forward conservative agendas.
I want to briefly discuss the feedback and comments from some white gay readers that were in response to the articles written by black bloggers or journalist. Hopefully my words can help the white LGBT community understand where others could not.
The overall consensus from the black gay journalists and the black gay blogosphere was that even though gay marriage equality is something that is needed, it is not high on the totem pole for the majority of the black LGBT community.
The black community as a whole is a lot more concerned with the ills that affect our community, such as…
Many of the articles and blogs from the black writers pointed these things among others in their posts. Many in the white gay community responded angrily in the feedback and comments sections on these websites. Some of their anger was directed at President Obama and they were confused as to why the black community, primarily black gays cannot put marriage equality first and foremost, front and center. You know like the same way the white gay community put our issues front and center (sarcasm).
The white gay community can’t seem to understand even though black homosexuals are a minority in a minority…we are still a minority. Our melanin and pigmentation is obvious while our homosexuality not so much so.
When I was racially profiled by a Virginia State Policeman and made to get out of my car with my hands in the air; it wasn’t due to any illegal moving or traffic violation or because I was homosexual, it was because I was black. Likewise when I was 10 years old and spat on by a neighbor, he didn’t call me a “faggot” after I punched him in the mouth, he called me a “nigger”.
Which reminds me; let us not forget all of the racist comments that came from some in the white gay community after the Prop 8 passage in California? For the most part the black community received a severe tongue lashing from the white gay community as though we were the reason for the passage.
Weekly you hear or see stories of black men, young and old being gunned down by the police for some “justified” reason. We see or hear stories in the media of over-hyped, overcharged, and heavy sentences being handed down to blacks in our unequal for profit Justice System for similar crimes that whites get light sentences or slapped on the wrist for.
I know that plenty of members of the white LGBT community have experienced discrimination, harassment, beatings, bullying and acts of murder. LGBT life can be a difficult one for many if not all; however white LGBT culture (especially white gay males) has the benefit of still being able to do something that blacks can’t. That is take part in the spoils and benefits of white privilege in America.
To the white LGBT community, it is not that we don’t understand the discrimination you are going through and how you are suffering. We understand because we have suffered for centuries and still continue to face discrimination to this day.
I am happy and envious that the white LGBT community was able to model their movement after the Civil Rights movement by organizing, marching, voting and doing something that the black community as a whole has forgotten how to do…and that is come together with their economic power to enforce change.
At the rate we are going, marriage equality will be achieved for gays long before equality is achieved for Black America.
Feel free to leave your comments and feedback.
-Octavius
OckyDub
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I do agree with what was said in your article but I also see for myself and many others how the black community treats there LGBT people. If you are open you are pushed away, talked about, mistreated, and treated as if you yourself is not human. It like you don’t deserve to be loved. Don’t get me wrong we are not the only race with this issue and it all boils down to religion if you ask me. Religion in my view teaches more discrimination and hate then what it’s suppose to tech which is love and forgiveness. That’s another subject in itself. I have learn that anger is an emotion we use if we don’t get our way white, black, or whatever. The black community does have many issues to worry about but at the same time isn’t doing to much now to change the issues. Like you said whites are marching and doing whatever they can for equal rights. The black community in my view feels that everything should be given and does nothing really to make a change. Yes! We have many issues within our own community but if we are not still fighting for equality as a race why would we fight for equality for our LGBT black community. We are so caught up in the past and trying to prove ourselves still that any issue like a black person being gay, open, and/or fem is treated even more unfairly within their own community. I still believe to this day that even our own black man are truly scared to embrace themselves as gay, fem, or even open. To me that’s the real issue and white people get upset because they see for themselves that the black community has issues with embracing the gay lifestyle even when they are gay. I’m not saying it is right to bash, but it’s also nothing new blacks bash blacks and I hear gay bashing gays when I did hang out. So it is so much deeper then I can write or about or even you because we will end up writing a book. I think we all live in a bubble because we look at the world how we want to look at it and feel no need to really and I mean really view it from others points of view. We say we understand but to me we just talking because at the end of the day we all want to be treated good, live good, and be happy. Thanks for writing what you did because I do agree with what you said
Thank you for your feedback.
In response to some of your comments. I think some blacks feel they are owed something because so much was taking away from us in this country. I am not saying I agree or disagree but I am very empathetic.
I do think many black men (black, white, etc) have trouble embracing the fact that they are gay because of the weight that word means. Personal I may use the word; however I do try to say homosexual in its place when I can…Why? Because I don’t consider myself gay, I consider myself homosexual.
Gay is a lifestyle that I do not partake in and many men (masculine or otherwise) feel the same. How can you embrace something that you feel you don’t belong too or fit in with? Wow…I think that may be a great topic to write about. Thanks again.
I don’t understand what you mean by gay is a lifestyle that you don’t partake in. If you date and have sex with men you DO partake in the lifestyle. If you’re referring to clubbing, pride parades, and whatever else you seem to hate, that doesn’t define being gay. There isn’t one gay lifestyle, just as there isn’t one black lifestyle or one American lifestyle. In my opinion, all of this stems from a hatred of something and trying one’s best to not identify with it by twisting words (gay vs. homosexual) and creating “better and worse”, so to speak, within an already discriminated against community. How can you embrace something you don’t feel you belong to? You can start by recognizing diversity in a community and understanding that gay=homosexual.
Before I get started let’s agree to disagree. I do not feed into and believe the hype of how the gay rights movement and the white mass media tells me how to label and identify myself.
Gay is a lifestyle not a sexual orientation. The word gay has many definitions while homosexual only has one. I never said I was attempting to belong or embrace or be embraced by a community.
I am power of 1 and do not need to be a part of a group or follow the “it” crowd or identify with a title that you think is fitting.
If you need further clarification on my point of view see my new post…
http://www.discreetcity.com/1/post/2012/06/words-and-definitions-gay-i-really-dont-like-this-word.html
As always, thank you for your feedback.
Well said. You have definitely covered most of the issues facing Black gays. Being Black and Gay is not a choice! Who could dream something like that up? That’s how you know that being “Gay” is not a choice. Just read all the issues ladening the Black community and then to add “Gay” on top of all of that. You’d be stupid to even contemplate being gay knowing that the deck is heavily stacked against you – just for being Black. Shhhhhh I definitely would not “choose” to be gay knowing all of this. Gayness is an is-ness – period!
You are so right. With the rising hiv/sti rates within the black gay community, many of us arent rallying for marriage, we are rallying for a better quality of life. NOM puting a wedge between gays & blacks completely excludes black gays smh like we dont exist. White gays are still WHITE and only care about themselves
I’m glad I found your blog because this is something I’ve been thinking about for awhile. How do I go about this? Okay honestly I think it is bullshit because even in the media gay people of color are only depicted in a certain way. Asian guys as being the twink, you only hairless and skinny, the black guy as being flamboyant and all diva and sh*t and the latino guy who I think is rarely shown as well is only concerned with sex. In the media when gay couples are being depicted they are mostly white and I know it’s a step for us to be depicted int he media as more masculine and not limp wrist as before but there is still a far way to go. I don’t blame all of white America, I don’t even like saying that because it’s just one America and we all make it up and we’re all human. I know many of white gay people aren’t able to see it from our perspective or others but isnt that something we should help change. Not all white people are the same. I agree with what you’re saying because I know for a fact that gay people of color have such a harder time than the whites and it’s sad that any of us at all have to go through this. I really hope that we can hurry and just have equality for all and there isn’t this separation among orientations, race,gender, that’s just so fcking irritating! I mean, honestly, it really is because when you think we’re making progress, we have to remember that we still have a further way to go and when I say we, I mean everyone. I know this isn’t the article for it but I also like your article about masculine gays in the media and how they aren’t shown at all. It’s sad and the media is such a major factor that feeds the ignorance. I personally think that they are fueling that thing that some girls have about a gay best friend and it’s kinda hard if he’s masculine and doesn’t give two fcks about your hair or shows or whatever. I remember I was talking to two friends of mine and I told them that there are gay dudes who like fishing and hockey and just regular masculine sh*t and they seemed shocked, I don’t think they realize that they are kind of hindering the ultimate goal which I think is to if not rid then SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCE the stereotypes and prejudices and preconceived notions about different groups of people. That’s one of the reasons why I want to go into media, to help put more real people out there because everyone is different despite their orientation, race, gender or whatever and you’re right, just cus you’re gay doesn’t mean I’m going to like you, it’s not something we chose, it’s just a part of us and it’s just there. It’s neither wrong nor right, it’s just there. Anyways I’m just a 18 year old bi kid who found this blog and really liked it and decided to voice my opinion so yeah. Keep up the good work, I plan on returning soon. Also another thing I hate is people no thinking that a bottom can be masculine, really do hate that.
WOW…Thanks Ren for your feedback.
At 18 you “get it” and have a clearer understanding of what we are attempting to convey on our website than most adult gay men.
Understand we created this website for homosexual and bi men of color just like you. Every week we get a comment or an email from some like you and it helps make what we do here that much more rewarding. By all means if you want to work in media and help make a change…please go for it!
I sometimes get the side eye when I talk about this very issue. If anyone really wants to get a representative look at what white gays are up to go to qwerty.com . There you will find quite a few examples of white gays espousing a lot of venom towards Blacks, especially the President. This president has done more for gays of all stripes, yet they insist that he has not done enough for them.
If only white gays would stand up for some other injustice, the general public might not misunderstand them as being self absorbed. You stated it best albeit sarcasm, but its true…the white gay machine wants to be “like everybody else” but does nothing to help the plight of others. I wish they would understand that an act of kindness might earn people’s respect and provide opportunities to show and prove that being gay is not all that different.
I personally detest the sentiment that gay is the new black. I have experienced racist attitudes and mistreatment from white gays. My experience with a few let me know that while they are gay they still benefit from white privilege. They still don’t truly understand how minorities are really undervalued, underestimated, or marginalized. They have been silent during the Treyvon Martin issue. They have been silent about young black men murdered at the hands of police. They want everyone to empathize with them, but they don’t understand that empathy is a two way street. No outrage anywhere.
They must understand these basic principles. If all minorities can come together for fairness in economics, housing, incarceration, employment, think of how powerful that would be.
wow i had no idea this stuff was out there! im just so new to this stuff lol. great post and it showed me a new point of view thx
Wow, why had I never heard of this site before?! I found it by accident, when googling Lee Thompson Young. Your articles are well edited, your stories are so on point, no sugar coating, no seeming confusion about the state of black America and so on point, or at least I should admit, so much in tune with my own thinking about the fact that as a black gay man, my sexuality is not the primary cause of hate and prejudice. In fact my sexuality when identified has been a source of the lessening of some of the irrational hate and fear! I love this site! Great work guys! And of course this article is right on point!
Nah, too black and white for me. You’re not seeing the bigger picture of what the benefits of marriage will bring as a gay black man-especially a gay black man that is being mistreated within the ‘holy grail’ black community.
Like many straight people use marriage to get out of the h*ll of their home life in the middle of nowhere, gay’s can do the same.
The biggest issues gay black men claim hurts their progression is acceptance from their community and say this is the reason so many are in the closet.
Black people are never gonna sort out their problems with or without gay marriage. Please. Most straight black people don’t even want gay people anywhere near them fighting or talking publicly about the black community.
Whilst the gay black community continue to be divisive and not support marriage equality in THEIR community, the black community is still ignoring them and treating them like sh*t.