I think anyone who’s gay and Black has had to face backlash. I recently came across the below meme on social media.
I grew up with the subconscious knowledge that gay is wrong. It has always been implied when I was coming up. However, my own research and curiosity led me to knowing that gay isn’t wrong. Cypher Avenue has been a tremendous help in that regard too.
However, I still encounter homophobia in my everyday life via in person, on Facebook, or even at family dinners. I’ve argued against it time and time again, but I’d like some help or advice on how to handle these situations in the future.
What is the best way to engage in and possibly change the mindset of homophobic friends / associates or family members? Do you even think it’s possible?
How do you, or should you personally respond to homophobic memes (like the one above) within social media groups or circles?
This is something I wonder about too episcally has someone who wants to be more involved in life and has an active social meida life. I find a lot of the time you can't real "talk" with people like these. heck to me it kida just washes through me
First, you realize for some people, you can't dialogue. You accept that you may lose some and keep some of the people in your life when you live your truth. No matter how upright you live your life, someone somewhere will not like you. However, you respond to negative memes with positive and affirming ones. Network with others for strength and support, and realize that new friends and allies may not look like you or your color, but their character's color trumps their skin color.
I've come to think you can't change the mind of someone who is homophobic especially over the internet. The best you can hope to do is punch holes in their ideology, mock them for their stupidity and prejudice.
When a person settles on a viewpoint,you usually can't flip that.If someone thinks black is white,not even the manager of Sherwin Williams can convince them.
But I do think presenting your counterpoints for observation to others can help enlighten those who are less rooted in their ignorance.Just state that you are a man like any other who never made some bs choice or whatever,and those who are receptive will gain better understanding.
All the recommendations above are good. But @LeMignon whatever you decide to do never feel the need to justify who you're attracted to or love to anybody. Also if they really want to understand homosexuality or you personally they will come to you.
Thanks for the advice guys! I just happened to see this post from somebody I would have never expected to see it from… And that prompted me to actually try to change a mind, not just counter the post. And I know changing a set mind is a very hard thing to do.
There is no cure for fear, ignorance and hate. Honestly, all you can do is be the personification of everything they think you are not and live your life in your own truth. A phobia is an irrational fear and trying to combat it with the rational is ineffective.
If you're out to people and they know, just show and be yourself. Be human and share your similarities and differences.
If their mind is still closed, fu@k 'em.
This is something that applies to everyone who can be out. They (anti gay people) have to know first of all(which can be impossible under some circumstances I realize that). But they also need time. Especially with family-some of them need a lot of time-but can eventually come around and see that it is not the 'big bad demon gay thing' they thought it was.
And even if they do not really come around, whether they are family or friends, they may just not be able to be as anti-gay because they may have that 'wait they are just like(insert your name here)and I love him…?' moment. It may not even benefit you that much in certain ways(that are really obvious to you), but pushes humanity forward in small steps.
* and yes, if they are hostile, then if/until they come around, cut them out of your life.
To change homophobia, the homophobic person must see things that dismiss the social stereotypes and beliefs that fuel misconceptions, perceptions and lack of understanding/knowledge and voluntarily change and dismiss their way of thinking.
It should be that you set the tone to lead by example in your personal life and hope that can help the homophobia in your personal life. Dont worry about social media.
I know I'm waaay off topic with this comment but for some reason I can't start a new thread (can anyone enlighten me as to why) so let me mention it here. "Double Lives On The Down Low" is the title of a lengthy NYT article on the DL (yes I know it's old). I discovered it while trying to learn more about the lifestyle after watching The DL Chronicles. Incidently I also found Discreet City around this time. I strongly recommend everyone to read this article whatever your views on the issue, you will learn something new. What has always struck me is a passage which elegantly captures the source of so much disagreement within the community and without: … it's hard for people to accept that something that seems so intimate and inborn to them as being gay or straight [dare I add masculine or effeminate] isn't universal. Your thoughts on the article…
You should send a private message to @Nick Delmacy and he can find out what is going on with you not being able to post a thread.
View attachment 3588 – he has 'special' abilities.