If We’re In a Relationship; Your Clothes are My Clothes

By OckyDub | Posted Dec 23 2017 | 18 Comments  

I remember many years ago listening to comedian Jerry Seinfeld in which he humorously mentions what he thinks is one of the greatest benefits of being a gay man in a relationship with another man.  He stated that if he and the other man were about the same size in stature; he would be elated because his wardrobe would instantly double. He stated he would have access to new shirts, shoes, pants, etc. and save a fortune.

Years later, I’ve seen countless memes and social media postings from straight men complaining about their girlfriends wearing or taking their sweat shirts and hoodies. I can’t recall hearing these type of complaints from non-heterosexual dudes and I wondered what could be the reason/s behind this.

Could one reason be because many gay dudes are perpetually single and serial daters? Granted, we’ve all seen photos and know of plenty of happily married gays or dudes in long term relationships. Nonetheless; it’s also known that many men don’t make it past the first date, a hookup or a one month time span. So understandably no shirts nor house keys will be shared.

On a personal level, my partner is bigger than myself but I have from time to time found myself (out of necessity) wearing his dress shirts, pants, dress shoes underwear and socks. Long term relationships are possible, so if it’s something you’re seeking, could you one day see yourself sharing cloths with your partner?




About the Author

Octavius is a founder and editor of Cypher Avenue. He's here to help speak for us and show the world that masculine gay / bisexual men of color are not a part of the stereotypical gay normal that is seen and fed to the masses. No...we are a distinct breed, filled with character and pride. Cypher Avenue is here to show the world how we are different.

Categorized as :
Dating & SexSlider

18 Comments Feel Free To Join The Cypher.

  1. RolandG
    RolandG | December 23rd, 2017

    I doubt i’ll ever date or be in a relationship with someone of my height and stature so this will never be an issue for me i guess.

  2. Juan-Carlos
    Juan-Carlos | December 23rd, 2017

    There's a grey area here in my opinion. With me, if there is a need or necessity like if you spent the night and didn't bring a change of clothes then yes but we are not playing Ken and his special friend with the interchangeable wardrobe by Mattell. Nah, gotta draw lines. I get tight when my brother tries to boost one of my Ts when he visits. Circumstance versus entitlement are two different things when it comes to anything from my closet.

  3. mojoreece
    mojoreece | December 23rd, 2017

    I mean if we were around the size I guess. But I would still ask my partner if I could wear something 1st and have it properly cleaned afterwards.

    Being honest, I just wouldn't not feel comfortable wearing my partners clothes. I would be to scared I would get a unremovable stain on it and have them mad at me.

  4. Jai
    Jai | December 23rd, 2017

    No way. If my boyfriend is my size, which he most likely won't be..(most guys that seem to watch me are 5'8 and up.)then maybe.

    Now as far as clothes, I may wear one of his night shirts if it's bigger or what not but I wouldn't wear his clothes…

    I'll help him take them off, I may even iron them, fold them, but I probably wouldn't wear them unless like a regular t-shirt or pajamas. Not wearing underwear though…

  5. Cyrus-Brooks
    Cyrus-Brooks | December 24th, 2017

    As someone his in a LTR I can say this is true in my case. I wear my partner's clothes and shoes sometimes. Less so these days because as the years have past he's gained more weight than I have. Any of his older stuff that is still in style I snatch it before he gives it away. I save alot of $$$$ on buying clothes and sneakers.

  6. Boaxy
    Boaxy | December 24th, 2017

    I don't have a boyfriend. I don't know if I would want to share his clothes. I mean that sounds interesting.

    I mean I wouldn't mind wearing my boyfriends clothes like for a romantic aspect. Like what's mine if yours.

    Ugh I hate fucking threads like these.

    I hate being black and gay and single. 🙁

  7. acessential
    acessential | December 24th, 2017

    I think straight dudes don't like their girls wearing their clothes, because it's not an even exchange. A straight dude is not gonna throw on his girl's clothes in exchange.

    As for me, my dude and I are relatively the same size, but don't have the exact same style. We have definitely exchanged and shared clothes, but there's still a little bit of a separation. We don't have a problem with it. Sometimes if one of us is clothes shopping and we see something that we may only sorta like to wear occasionally, but know that the other is more likely to wear it, we'll be it anyway, cuz it'll be worn regardless.

  8. NikR
    NikR | December 24th, 2017


    ^^me watching said dude try on my blue suit, like it belongs to him


    ^^me watching the fool grumble about how the seat of my dress pants are tailored to only fit my plump ass, and not some concave ass


    ^^me watching the dumbass spill coffee all over my favorite tie, and then say dumb shit like, "if we're in a relationship, your clothes are my clothes."

    Nah we not sharing!

    I take care of my clothes and shoes- that's why they last. The moment I no longer can do this is the moment I become a sullen shell of myself. If the dude wants pointers, I'll give 'em to him. I'll even take him to Target, DTLR, J Crew, Banana Republic, H&M, Macy's, Sak's off 5th, hit up indie/unique T-makers on red bubble, show him the ropes at Lovely Lapels and expound on the quality of soles at Steve Madden. But we ain't sharing jack shit. I already have a roomie who likes "borrowing" my one-of-a-kind Boondocks t-shirts, cuz we're the same size. It drives me insane. So Imma extrapolate and say nah. Naaaahhh!!!

  9. Omega Level
    Omega Level | December 24th, 2017

    Laughing at some of these responses. Dudes really not into their man wearing their clothes huh? LOL.

    I treat it as just clothes so its a no brainer for me. Of course he can wear my clothes and hopefully he shares the same sentiment. I would like to think I chose someone who is respectful and wouldn't just ruin clothes or shoes. But if a spill or rip happens, no big deal, we'll just get it cleaned or repaired.

    In fact I have two past/ex partners where still to this day I have a pair of Polo boots that use to be one partners and a coat that formerly belong to the other. They never asked for it back and Im pretty positive they have an item or two of mine that they now incorporated in their wardrobe.

    No big woop. Not an issue for me at all.

  10. Kobalt
    Kobalt | December 25th, 2017

    Nah. I'm too possessive to let my man share my clothes. Just imagine if he spilled something on them, ripped them, etc. At least if I damage the attire, it is my fault. If he does, it will begin as a conversation about him not respecting my stuff, and ending with World War III and me being back on the market.

  11. lyriq88
    lyriq88 | December 25th, 2017

    In all of my past relationships, I’ve definitely worn my partners clothes lol. Sweats, T-Shirts, Draws, Socks, Whatever… I’ve never dated someone who’s worn my same shoe size (Somehow, I’ve never dated a dude who’s worn a 12 or bigger lol) but I’ll definitely grab a couple of random items of clothes from time to time.

  12. ControlledXaos
    ControlledXaos | December 26th, 2017

    My second bf and I were the same size pretty much. We didn't have the same style but we would wear some things of each other's like shirts and drawz. Really wasn't a big deal. *shrug*

  13. Apollo
    Apollo | December 26th, 2017

    like @RolandG I probably won't be in a relationship with someone of the similar stature. I'm short, so the dude will most likely be taller and probably wouldn't wear the same size. I wouldn't have a problem sharing clothes. I did sometimes wear a few of my ex's t-shirts. I would say just ask first if it was nicer clothes.

  14. BlackguyExecutive
    BlackguyExecutive | December 26th, 2017

    The answer is yes. Although we don't share clothes because my husband is smaller than I am. However, we do wear the same size in shoes and when we first moved in we had to reduce our nearly 100 pairs of shoes down to about 75 pairs. We definitely have plenty of options. As we gotten older he is bumped up to size medium and I have bumped up to size large, so he always gets a windfall in the clothes department.

  15. takeyourmeds91
    takeyourmeds91 | December 26th, 2017

    *In my SZA voice* his draws are my draws too, our draws is our draws!

    Sike, nigga. leave my shit alone. It's cool every once in a while but you shouldn't be wearing the seams out my shit.

  16. takeyourmeds91
    takeyourmeds91 | December 26th, 2017

    Yes target.

  17. Cyrus-Brooks
    Cyrus-Brooks | December 26th, 2017

    My partner and I don't swap underwear :franko1: but everything else is fair game including socks, hats, gloves, and coats. If we were still the same waist size is I probably would take his underwear too on laundry day.

  18. jusrawb
    jusrawb | December 27th, 2017

    Its definitely a added bonus of being in a same sex relationship, especially if y'all have similar styles and it fits. Me and my dude aren't the same size but we do wear some of each others stuff sometimes.

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