Much Ado About Nothing :The Importance of Self-Confidence
Like Shakespeare’s play, “Much Ado About Nothing”, navigating your way through gay society, could be equally challenging. It can be difficult when you try to maintain your sense of self while trying to cater or accommodate to a particular crowd. Sometimes your values and self-confidence can be compromised if you don’t truly know yourself. The Gayz can be vicious. Particularly, this lifestyle can chew you up and spit you out if you get caught out there. You definitely have to grow a thick skin for you are being judged within the first few seconds. Initially, it’s your looks, physique, masculinity, your clothing, job, car, and where you live. The first three items mentioned speaks to what you represent and the latter to affluence for affluence means success and being comfortable. Self-Confidence has to be fostered and nurtured in order to grow like a tree. I am so grateful that when I decided to make my intro into the boyz club that my two friends shielded me from the worst of this lifestyle. They were a few years older than me and were like my big brothers. So, your crew or your “new family” can help aid or hinder how you view not only yourself but navigating your way through dating, creating friendships, and socializing in life. Personally, I’ve made certain choices such as not being very social and limiting my interactions. I hope I am not wandering very much away from the topic as my point is that your intro into “the life” can quickly shape your opinion and actions that may lie ahead. Your assurance of self and how you decide to move can strengthen you to be more guarded or change you.
Dating can be awkward. Attraction is chemical in the brain and the body responds. Looks is a major part in making the first impression. How you take care of your physical self is telling of your esteem. However, ego is a result of too much self-esteem and that’s when being prideful usually leads into petty behavior. Living where most 9s are looking for a 10 can be intimidating. The fact of the matter is there are slim pickings. My experience a few months ago , when I attempted to date, is meeting a guy who was unemployed and unmotivated, another guy who I later discovered liked to parTy & play (which means using/on Meth while having unprotected sex), and the last one expected me to chase.
Years ago, I went clubbing with friends during MLK weekend. I remember seeing this hot one at the bar. He was tall, had model looks, and a shredded body with a tight muscle ass. I made my way over and tried to shoot my shot and immediately got shot tha phuk down. My pride was wounded for I’ve been told that I’m very attractive but HE rejected me. I had to walk it off and not internalize it. I know my value, character, and self-worth lies beyond my looks. Usually, those who try to create an outer image of what they deem “perfect” are the broken ones. Their ugly could be using people to get what they want, placating to their friends who do have wealth, or masking their own insecurities and want that control over other men for control means power. I am conscientious of that for whenever I got approached, I was still polite and engaging. Nowadays, it takes some courage to try to step up to someone who’d like to get to know. Every hello doesn’t mean that they are hitting on you or even leaving with your contact info after. A respectful response either way shows how humble of a man they truly are.
I truly feel there’s a match out there for everyone. The practice is the experience gained from dating different types. Leave it to chance and a serendipitous meeting and you could find the guy that can be your next lesson or the right one.
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