To be honest, I don’t watch reality television. Add to that, I haven’t seen an episode of The Real World in over a decade. Apparently the show is still going strong with the recently premiered 28th season taking place in Portland, Oregon. One of the cast members this season is a handsome 25-year-old preacher’s kid from Texas named Marlon Williams. Being a young black man in America, he’s stereotypically talented at sports and predictably aspiring to be a rapper (going by the stage name Jay Dillinger).
An interesting part of his background though is that although Marlon is heterosexual, he admits to having had sex with men in the past. This is something that Gay black superhero Frank Ocean hasn’t even admitted publicly. And like Frank Ocean, Marlon Williams (aka Jay Dillinger) also refuses to say that makes him Gay or even Bisexual. This reminds me of the controversial essay I wrote entitled, The Myth Of The Bisexual.
Marlon WIlliams: Well, I don’t consider myself bisexual, because I’m not sexually attracted to men. I did have sex with a man but my reasoning for it was different. It was in a hectic time of my life filled with fighting a lot of life battles. I was just making a lot of decisions that I would not normally make. At that time in my life the gay community embraced me, and it is one of those things that just happened. I have nothing against people who are bisexual or gay, but that is not my preference.
That’s funny, because it’s not a part of my conversations with women. It hasn’t really come up with any of the females I’ve been involved with. Most women I’ve been interested in lately don’t even care. I mean, whatever your sexual orientation is who cares? If you’re happy that is all that matters.
You’re the son of a preacher and were raised with conservative values. Does that cause conflict for you in terms of your sexuality?
Well, sex in any form is hard, because the beliefs of my parents say that you are supposed to wait for marriage. The big misconception used in religion is that some sin is worse than others. That isn’t true. All sin is equal. Therefore, anything I do that is sinful can be forgiven if I repent and make changes. My belief is that God forgives anybody who believes and wants a new start in life.
You also rap under the name Jay Dillinger. Is the world of rap as homophobic as it is rumored to be? How do you deal with that?
At the end of the day it’s about the music. Frank Ocean definitely showed that if you’re talented, then you can make it happen. Being a rapper isn’t all about the hardcore gangsta stuff all the time. So I feel there is room for any type of artist to make it. You just have to be good. Me, personally, I just ignore the hate. Who somebody goes home with is their business. What difference does it really make in the end? None.
One could argue that Marlon knew full well what he was doing. He was college-aged at the time of the sexual encounters with the man in question. In the official MTV bio they mention that he loves sex a lot (like many other young men). Given that information, one could argue that Marlon isn’t Gay, Bisexual or even Straight…Marlon’s merely a whore (like many young men). One could also speculate whether or not this “explanation” is just Marlon’s (and a publicity representative’s) attempt to “clean up” his past to help steer his budding rap career away from any future “Outing” controversy that would sink his tenure in Hip Hop.
Speculate all we want, its just good to see that this young black man has rebounded from the hardships in his life. I was admittedly too hard on Frank Ocean when that news broke so I’ll go easy on this young man with my over-analyzing opinions. Its even better to learn that when he was down, people in the Gay community were there to help him, which further breaks down the disdain average black men feel towards homosexuals. The most unfortunate thing to come out of this story though, are the predictably hateful comments from women of color on other sites reporting this story. What stood out to me was the expected paranoia and outcry from black women stating that Marlon should tell EVERY woman he dates in the future about his past sexual relationships with men, no matter how long ago they may have been because he may stray back to men, putting them at rick for infection of HIV/AIDS. Sigh.
I love when many paranoid black women completely forget about all of the cheating, whorish, playboy, illegitimate baby making, disease-spreading 100%-heterosexual men already out there once they hear about ONE masculine black guy who may have gay sex in the past. It must help them sleep at night like a favorite blanket and warm milk.
What are your thoughts?
Nick Delmacy
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it is completely plausible. It is possible for someone to have sex with a man and does not identify as gay or even attracted to men sexually. We are all wired differently- no two persons have the same experience sexually, none. There may be similarities but in the end we all have a different sexual path. The gay community always tend to over analyze and wanting to draw other people into their own sexuality. Stop It. We are all different. Even Gay has its differences. This young man may or may not sleep with a man again in the future. We may never know as in the end it is his choice, his business. The gay community will be well served to mind their own business and watch who they sleep with. The world is different as the colors of the gay flag.
He later said he’s ‘attracted to beautiful ppl’ or sumthin of the sort, acknowledging his sexuality.
But I will reiterate…one more time..STRAIGHT men DON’T have sex w men..unless they’re an Adibissi!
Hey he said that he did it once… I doubt that will just automatically mark him down as just outright ga.
Humans are complicated. Although discussing this article makes for a nice “parlor game”, clarification comes from scientific exploration. What do the scientist say? Google the Kinsey Scale of Sexuality and Google the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid and read several articles about each.
The truth is that 25% of men have sexual relations with a man by the age of 25 that results in an orgasm. The truth is that sexual orientation is fluid and can change and that most people are not 100% straight or 100% gay.
Sexuality is a tender subject because people feel the need to ID themselves with which one they see fit and we(as people) tend to disagree. Me, personally, I feel that your sexuality is determined by who you are sexually attracted to, NOT who you sleep with. The problem with gays is that they tend to give “gay” men the benefit of the doubt but not “straight” men. If a man whom is known for sleeping with men, leaves the gay lifestyle and settles down with a female(due to pressures of society), fellow gays would not be quick to deem him “heterosexual”. Why can’t the same be applied to men, who ID’s himself as “hetero”, who sleeps with men for some type of gain?
From the sound of it, Williams had NOTHING. No money, no friends, no job…NOTHING. He was good looking enough and masculine enough to catch the attention of the gay community. They restored his hope, gave him money and a place to stay and he probably got caught up and had sex with a guy(there was never an indication that his one-time sexual relationship with a man was an exchange for money) and then hated it.